The Traveller

by HJ Bellus

  Pulling into the small town which is now full of activity. Mom fell asleep ten minutes ago with her head on Vannie’s shoulder. A domino effect happened with Vannie putting her head on my shoulder for the remainder of the drive. There’s a good forty-five minutes before the parade starts, giving us plenty of time to get a parking spot near the main road and setting up Mom’s chair.

  “Is she going to miss the parade?” Vannie whispers.

  “No, Shug.” I squeeze her leg. “We will let her sleep, and I’ll wake her up right before the parade.”

  There’s a perfect parking spot near the main road. I pull in and kill the engine.

  “Stay here with her, and I’ll go set up our chairs.” I kiss her forehead.

  “Okay, don’t forget our bags.”

  The innocence and enjoyment she experiences with every first gives me a high that I can’t explain. I jump from the car and quietly shut the door, then pull the chairs from the trunk. The town is the same as I remember it from so many years ago.

  After setting up the chairs in front of the local pharmacy, I glance up to the sky and smile knowing Belle is up there somewhere singing her heart out. I could count on one hand how many times I’ve let myself think about her. It’s my coping strategy to keep shit blocked out, to not experience pain. Mom’s stories reminded me of all the good times we shared.

  By the time I get back to the car, Peaches is pulling out a tote bag full of snacks while Vannie gets my mom’s hat and jacket adjusted in the car. The happiness beaming from my mom is contagious. We all make it up to the main road and settled in the chairs in plenty of time.

  “Maria?” A voice interrupts us.

  All four of us look up to a man who seems to be a bit older than my mom.

  “Samuel?” my mom asks.

  “Yes.” The older man drops to one knee in front of her. “It’s been years.”

  My mom blushes, her pale skin coming to life with the attention of this man.

  “Yes, it has. Are you back in town?” she asks.

  “Just moved back after I lost Rebecca.”

  My mom’s bony hand reaches out to take his. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

  Peaches, Vannie, and I all share a glance, but then let the two old friends have a moment of time. I stand up from my chair and let Samuel sit next to my mom. Right before the parade starts, I notice Samuel reach his hand over and lace his fingers with my mom’s.

  I tense, wanting to beat the shit out of him for touching her.

  “Relax.” Peaches pats my back.

  “Why is he touching her? I’m going to beat his ass.”

  “Samuel was your mother’s high school sweetheart. Everyone thought they’d get married, but he enlisted in the Army, escaping an abusive father, and then your mom met your dad.”

  I remain silent for long beats of time with everything falling into place. My mom sent me to the Army to save me from my father. I glance back over to them holding hands and chatting away. That woman, who is the strongest and bravest one I know, has always sacrificed her happiness for others, and now she’s getting a little bit of it back.

  Samuel could kiss her right now in public, and I wouldn’t do a damn thing. Gross. I distract myself with getting the bags ready when I hear the police sirens signaling that the parade is about to kick off.

  “Shug, stay out of my way. I will trip you for a Tootsie Roll.” I hand her a plastic shopping bag.

  She giggles knowing that I’d never hurt her, but then again, she’s not accustomed to the parade culture either. Grabbing her hand, I lead her to the edge of the curb and then sit down, scooting my ass back on the sidewalk. I pull Vannie down between my spread legs and wait for the parade.

  “The key is to give the other kids the stink eye, letting them know you’re for real and not to be messed with.” I slip my hand up her shirt roaming my palm over her skin.

  “Hart.” She throws her head back, peering up at me. “They’re like four and five-year-olds.”

  “Yeah, but when you put candy in front of a kid at a parade, they’re vicious little bastards.”

  “If you push down a kid for a damn piece of candy, I’m getting you counseling.”

  The police car goes by with blaring sirens; I glance up at Mom to see Samuel covering her ears for her. I pull Vannie tighter to me, praying we get the chance to live out our love story, unlike my mom and Samuel.

  Vannie squeals when the local riding club goes by on horseback, then all the local businesses and their floats drive by. When the first handful of candy is thrown from a float, Vannie sprints out into the road with the rest of the children gathering it up in their bags.

  I remain frozen watching her.

  “Hey, you didn’t get any.” Vannie sits back between my legs, picking through her candy and putting some in our bag.

  “Had to give you a head start, Shug.” I kiss her cheek.

  Then it’s on, both of us racing out to get candy as each float goes by. Vannie is vicious trying to push me back down on the sidewalk and getting a head start on me. She snaps a hundred different selfies of us blowing bubble gum, chewing candy, and kissing. She also takes pictures of all the different floats between gathering candy. The girl is going to quickly run out of space on her phone, and I’ll just buy her a bigger one.

  After the parade, we walk to the park while Mom and Samuel remain in the chairs chatting. We eat corndogs, cotton candy, and kettle corn then drink beer. Peaches gags at the smell of the beer, telling me she’ll drive back and to drink away.

  It’s one of the best days of my life. I should know better though because happiness doesn’t last forever.

  “I drank too much last night,” Vannie whines rolling over in bed.

  “Lightweight,” I taunt her, pulling on my boxers then gym pants. “I’m going to go check on Mom.”

  I slap her ass for good measure then let her fall back to sleep. My morning wood is strong even after the two of us stayed up half the night screwing each others’ brains out.

  A rustling noise comes from down the hall. It’s an odd sound, sending me on high alert. I race into my mom’s room, and my world falls apart. Her entire body is convulsing with the bed sheets ripping around her body.

  “Mom.”

  She doesn’t respond to me.

  “Peaches,” I roar. “Peaches!”

  I grab the phone near her bed and dial 911. The problem is I can’t gather a thought to save my life. The phone is ripped from my hand, and I’m pushed aside. Peaches shouts into the phone while cradling my mother, keeping her safe.

  I hear a scream at the door and turn to see a ghost white Vannie covering her mouth. I can’t go to her. I can’t move, think, or even begin to remember how to breathe while watching my mother being taken away from me.

  Peaches pushes me into the back of the ambulance with my mom when it arrives. She helps Vannie into her truck. Everything is a blur. My heart shatters, forgetting how to beat, watching my mother cling to her life.

  Her seizure is over, and she’s fighting to talk.

  “Mom, I’m here.”

  She reaches up her free hand for mine, and I take it like she did so many times when I was younger, always consoling me. Roles have been reversed.

  19

  Savannah Ray

  Peaches and Hart went back with Maria. I chose to stay out in the waiting room. Fingers trembling and tears flowing. I’m not sure what has me more rattled up, Maria in her seizure or the fear on Hart’s face.

  I rock back and forth out of fear, wracking my mind over and over to find an answer to this problem that’s landed in my lap. I have to be here for Hart when his mom passes. He’ll need me ,and let’s be honest, I need the man on a daily basis to survive.

  “This is Mrs. Hunnington, she’s in charge of your sister’s case.”

  I look up to see Peaches wipe tears from under her eyes with no sight of Hart behind her. I jump up from my chair wanting to go to her. They walk into a small office, but don’t close t
he door. The conversation makes my decision easy.

  “With the treatment to keep Maria comfortable and to have home health come into her house, we’ll need a payment of eight thousand dollars.”

  “Excuse me?” Anger flairs up in Peaches’ voice

  The other woman fidgets with a file folder flipping through papers. “Maria’s insurance is maxed out and the payments we had been receiving stopped a few days ago.”

  “What payments?” Peaches is downright pissed off at this point.

  “We’d been receiving money to cover all of the bills that insurance hasn’t been covering.”

  “From who?”

  “I’m not allowed to tell you that, however, what’s more relevant at this time is that we figure out a way to make this payment happen.”

  I run down the hall finding a bathroom. The door slams behind me, and I lock it. Reaching down in my pocket, I locate the business card I’ve been carrying around. It’s like stabbing Hart in the back using the cell phone he bought me to call Blake.

  “Blake.”

  “This is…” My throat clogs with fear and nerves. “Savannah Ray. I’m ready to make a deal.”

  “Ahhh, thought you’d use the full seven days to decide.”

  “Blake, please send money over to the hospital.”

  “Once you’ve signed.”

  “What’s the address?” I ask without any hesitation.

  He tells me the address, and then I hang up. I walk out with my head held high knowing this is the only thing left to do. With each step, even though I seem tough and confident in my decision, my heart cracks with each click of my boot on the tile floor.

  “Ma’am, do you have a piece of paper and pen I could use?”

  “Sure thing, sweetie.” The nurse behind the counter digs around on her desk. “Are you okay?”

  I nod, biting my trembling bottom lip. “An envelope?”

  She passes me all three items, and I want to sit in a quiet corner to pour out my soul to Hart, but know I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I make it simple and quick.

  Hart,

  Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. This is killing me, but I’ve decided to sign with Blake. You need to spend this time focusing on your mom. Please tell her that I love her.

  I’ll never love another man as I do you. There are no words to express how I feel.

  Love,

  Shug.

  I want to tell him everything, but know how Hart will react. He will kill Blake. Being selfless after experiencing a love so deep hurts. I seal the envelope, turn off my phone, and then ask the kind nurse to deliver it to Hart before he leaves tonight.

  By the look on her face, I know she’s dying to ask more questions, but she doesn’t. I’m thankful for that. I don’t cry during the twelve-block walk to Arena 55 Studios. Everything inside of me has wilted, crumbling away. I’m back to the little girl with no hope. It’s a familiar place, not my destination of choice, but a place I know all too well.

  When I enter, a woman greets me right away like she’s expecting my arrival. I catch a glimpse of Hart’s dad mopping the black marble floor. He recognizes me, forcing me to drop my head while I enter the elevator.

  The elevator dings loudly at the twentieth floor. The doors slowly glide open straight into an enormous office. The entire floor is surrounded by glass from ceiling to floor. Blake’s seated behind an elaborate desk with cowboy boots kicked up on the desk. His smile firmly in place.

  “That was fast.” He smiles even wider, the evil floating off of him.

  I peer back down, walking slowly to him while intertwining my fingers together. Nerves don’t even begin to cover how I feel right now.

  “Have a seat.” He gestures to the empty seats on my side of the desk.

  “No, thanks.” I still don’t make eye contact with him.

  He slides over a stack of papers my way.

  “Take a look at it and let me know if you’re still willing to sign.”

  My vision blurs with the threat of everything beginning to fade dark. The letters jump all over the page. I fight to sound out the first word on the contract and can’t. I know the word, but I can’t read it.

  The vision of Maria this morning floods right back in. I pick up the pen with a shaky hand and sign my name on all the highlighted lines.

  “Send the money,” I demand, finally looking up at Satan.

  His eyebrows rise high into his hairline.

  “Call now, Blake.”

  In a controlled, slow movement he leans forward, putting his boots on the ground, and then picks up his office phone. There’s several seconds of dead silence before he begins barking out orders.

  “Sheena, call the hospital and reinstate payments for Maria Richards. Also, get Lenny up here.” He slams down the phone making me jump back.

  “Who is Lenny?” I ask.

  “She is your assistant. Work starts right now. I have a tour leaving in the morning. I’m throwing you in as the opening act. You can sing two original songs and then the rest will be cover songs all chosen by Lenny. She tells you to jump, you jump without asking how high.”

  “What about my apartment?”

  “We’ll take care of it. You won’t be needing any of your clothes. The rest of your personal belongings will be shipped to you on tour.”

  I shrug. “Doesn’t matter. You’ve already taken away everything that matters to me.”

  Harsh clicking on the marble floor is the only sound I hear, then I turn and look at what’s causing the sound. A blonde bombshell dressed in a black pencil skirt and business jacket with huge boobs stomps our way. Layers and layers of make-up cover her face, and bright red painted fingernails tap on the file folder in her arms.

  “This is her?” she asks Blake.

  You’d think I wasn’t even standing here.

  “Yes, best voice I’ve heard in a damn long time. She’s our next star, and I’ll hold no expense back to make it happen.”

  “She doesn’t look like much.”

  “I uh…just came from the hospital.” I bite my bottom lip and decide to shut up.

  It’s none of their business what I was doing.

  “You do know that I’ll be expecting overtime for this, right, Blake?. It’s going to take me all night to even get her decent, and that’s a big if.”

  “Lenny, do your job, and I’ll pay you.”

  She peers over at me, curling her upper lip with disgust. “Let’s go.”

  She marches away in her five-inch heels, and I follow. I step into the elevator with her and when the doors close Lenny lays it all out for me.

  “I am going to change everything about you. Your image, the way you speak, carry yourself, and your name. Say goodbye to Savannah Ray.”

  I stare at the ground feeling my insides being torn out. This is more painful than anything I’ve ever experienced.

  20

  Hart

  One Month Later

  “What the fuck is he doing here?” I growl between clenched teeth.

  Peaches rips the bottle of whiskey from my hand. “Because your mother asked to see him.”

  “You should’ve told her the fucker was dead.”

  She steps right up in my face, and for a brief second, I think she’s going to slap me in the face. “She is dying and has the right to speak her peace to the man. This is about her, not you, Hart. Swallow your fucking pride and give this to her.”

  She backs away slowly. I understand what she’s saying, but it does nothing to soothe the fucking anger boiling inside me. How much can one man take before crumbling to the earth? A mother who is going to die any day, a girl who ran, not even leaving me a fucking note, and now dealing with my fucking father.

  The man who beat the shit out of us. He gets to spend sacred moments with my dying mother. It’s enough to send me right over the motherfucking edge of insanity. The push and pull of needing the whiskey is intense. It dulls the ache in my chest, but it also takes away the clarity of my mi
nd to be with my mother.

  “Hart.”

  I look up to see my father. I didn’t even hear him knock or the door shut. My insult is on the tip of my tongue, but I swallow down the bitter pill realizing he’s not worth wasting air on.

  “She’s this way.” Peaches leads him to my mom’s room.

  I follow them because no way in hell is that monster going to be left alone with her. I stand at the end of her bed with my arms crossed over my chest. The nurse leaves the room, and so does Peaches. I don’t even make the offer to.

  “Maria.” Her name falls from his mouth in a hopeless tone.

  Mom looks him dead in the eye. “Thank you for coming.”

  My jaw clenches and my teeth grind to the point of breaking one or two of them. If she apologizes to him, then this fucking meeting is over.

  “I have some things to say before I die. One day when you are dying, knowing your days, hell, even your hours, are numbered, I don’t want you on your death bed thinking of your family. I don’t forgive you and never will.” She pauses catching her breath.

  “Mom.” I take a step to her other side.

  “No, Hart.” She reaches over, grabbing my hand then looking back at the man who was supposed to love and cherish her. “I don’t forgive you and never will. You took away the best years of my life before cancer struck. It took my boy to make me leave. You don’t hold power over me anymore. I don’t regret marrying you because you did give me my two babies. I want you to walk out of this house feeling like the worthless piece of shit you are. And don’t you dare ever think about contacting Hart.”

  She turns her head to look at me. Tears stream down her face, her is grip tight on my hand, and I’ve never been prouder of her than I am now.

  I stare down at her, not looking away. “You can leave now, Arthur.”