Sexual Memory [Dark Colony 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting)

by Elle Saint James

  “What?”

  Will lifted his fingers, brushing his thumbs across her cheeks. It was then she felt the wetness on her face. Had she been crying? She reached up a hand, sweeping another unseen tear away with her fingertips. Was she still crying? Great sex was likely worth weeping about, but it gave the wrong impression.

  His face contorted with another bout of shame, making her feel badly for him and another volley of tears fell from her eyes. Maybe the aftermath of great sex did make her eyes water with delight.

  “I don’t have any excuse,” he said, misery coating every word.

  “Did you enjoy it?” she asked, trying to catch his eye, as he dodged her direct gaze.

  Her question got his attention. He looked at her, but was even more filled with regret. “I…I…didn’t…” But she could see that he had.

  “You’re lying,” she accused. “Why are you lying to me?”

  His eyes slammed shut. “Yes. I enjoyed it. I’m sorry, Parisa.”

  “Why are you sorry? I enjoyed it, too. I’m not upset about the sex, just your reaction.”

  “I’m sorry because I took from you something you were unwilling to give. And it doesn’t matter if you gave it to me before.”

  “No. Stop. You didn’t take anything. I was not unwilling. I was in fact the very definition of willing. If you hadn’t had sex with me I would have violated you to get what I wanted back when we were closer to the bed. Trust me, Will. You have nothing to be sorry for.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  She gripped his hands. “You didn’t do anything to me that I didn’t want.”

  “But you said no.”

  Parisa shook her head. “Actually, I believe I said, ‘Why don’t you suck me for a change?’” And then a giggle escaped. It felt good to laugh. Especially after being so filled with anger right before they’d fucked like there was no tomorrow. Maybe there wasn’t a tomorrow for them, but at least the sex was good.

  Will looked a little off balance. He backed up a step.

  She moved forward closing the distance. “Look at me.” He lifted his gaze, staring at her with wary confusion. “Please kiss me. I need to feel your lips on mine so that I know we’re okay.”

  “Parisa—”

  “Please, Will. It’s important. I don’t want you to be afraid to touch me. Or kiss me.”

  He lowered his head, brushing a brief kiss across her lips. Warmth flared in her mid-section. Will had a really great mouth. She’d enjoyed it immensely since the beginning of their time together. He drew away for only a second before placing another more engaging kiss across her lips.

  Before she knew it they were kissing like they always did. Like they couldn’t get enough of each other. Like they loved each other again.

  His arms tightened around her, like he wished to meld their bodies together. She reveled in his embrace. And then started pushing him backward toward the bed. She wanted more. Maybe if she pushed him onto his back and rode him hard, he could watch her and understand she wasn’t upset.

  However, the door to their quarters opened abruptly, ending their make-up kiss before its natural conclusion.

  * * * *

  Jeremy had waited interminably for the military mission to complete. The endless time it took for them to return to Bravura with the rescued crew of the Mirage was almost unbearable. They’d sent ahead a manifest to Gray listing the entirety of the crew rescued once they got close enough for the messages to transmit reliably.

  Angelica was not with them. He hadn’t expected her to be. None of the crew had seen her once they’d left in the escape shuttle. He tried not to be angry that apparently no one had demanded to stay with her. But likely she would have conked them on the head, shoved them in a lifeboat with her booted foot, and launched them into space herself.

  He walked around the Stargazer, in dry dock for “repairs”, which meant continuing to install the illegal, ancient stealth technology. The ship looked exactly the same outwardly, but beneath the outer hull in several places, the untested cloaking device resided. Jeremy waited impatiently to take the ship out for her maiden voyage. Soon.

  With the crew arriving back into Spectra, Bravura’s largest city, last night, he planned to stay on planet only long enough to chat up the crew—especially Kerchner, the chief engineer—for any and all information pertaining to Angelica. What happened after takeoff? What had Angelica done when the ship was initially compromised? How long before they went to the escape shuttle? Did anyone stay behind to help her? Why the fuck not?

  Gray walked into the hanger as he finished his inspection. “How’s the ship?”

  “Good. You can’t tell anything’s been added.” Jeremy had done extensive energy rationing calculations to ensure they had enough fuel cells installed with the extra weight of the stealth tech included. For the ship it didn’t matter, as the main engines had recyclable power, but the shuttles would need extra fuel cells. If they topped off the shuttle tanks and brought supplemental fuel cells aboard, they’d be fine.

  Jeremy had gone over his numbers several more times to verify the calculations. Because he’d had so much fucking time to kill before the Mirage’s crew came back to Bravura. The wait had been the most difficult part of the endeavor, and he was antsy to get going.

  Gray appraised the hull with a questioning eye. “We’ll be able to get the tech off the ship whenever we want to though, right?”

  “In theory.” In fact, Jeremy had rigged the added parts specially for easy removal. “Don’t worry.”

  Gray made a face he couldn’t decipher, and then asked, “You heard that the Mirage’s crew arrived late last night, didn’t you?”

  Jeremy nodded. “Have you spoken with them yet?”

  “No. I’m on my way to the medical facility now. They’re still in quarantine, but have been released to see visitors if any guests are willing to suit up. You’re welcome to come along and listen in, if you’d like.”

  “I would. Thanks.” He was surprised he’d be allowed the boon, uncertain of all the places that he was still persona non grata for his previous zealous choices with regard to aggressively seeking Angelica’s unknown location. In fact, being invited to the medical facility tonight would save him some time. Now he could question several crew members all in one visit.

  “Are you going to test the ship before taking off in it?” Gray asked.

  Jeremy was taken off guard. They’d discussed a few general things regarding what was being put on the ship, but Gray hadn’t wanted to know details. “Plausible deniability,” he’d said, for when they called him in if it was ever discovered that Jeremy was missing and the Stargazer was no longer in port.

  “Yes. In fact, I’d like to take her out later tonight. Better to know now if it works rather than when I’m counting on it.”

  “Okay. How many crew members do you figure you’ll need for your journey?”

  “A full complement is fifteen. For a reasonable skeleton crew…I’d say minimum of five human souls including me, so four others. I have three selected already. Plus I’d like to take a handful of robotic drones.” He wasn’t sure if Gray would care for the idea of his scouting the fourth contender from the recently recovered crew. Perhaps he wanted his seasoned crewmembers back at work, making some money for a change.

  Gray nodded absently staring at the undercarriage of the ship. “You should ask the Mirage crew tonight. They should be cleared to fly in a couple of days.”

  “I’m glad you are on board with that, I’d been planning on asking, but not if you took issue.”

  Gray laughed. “I figure of the fifteen of them, they’ll all want to volunteer once you state your intentions. Without asking, I know they’ll likely all want to go back and search for Angelica, too.”

  Jeremy smiled. “I like to have a solid engineer with all the added components. What do you think about Kerchner?”

  “Lucas? He’s a pain in my ass, but a great engineer. He’d be a good choice. I’m not sure if he’ll
want to go back out immediately.”

  “Anyone else I should consider? I’m only going to ask a couple of the crew. I’m not mentioning my plans to anyone not going with me.”

  Rolling his shoulders in a half stretch or possibly a half shrug, Gray said, “Honestly, any one of them would be a good choice. There are three or four guys that are relatively new, but the rest are seasoned crew members. If Kerchner doesn’t want to go, he’d also be a good resource to recommend an engineer to take along. Ask him.”

  “Thanks. I will.”

  An hour later, Kerchner agreed with Jeremy’s quest to find Angelica, but turned him down as chief engineer on the coming flight.

  “Bergeron,” he said when asked who he’d recommend in his stead, if he didn’t go with the secret search party.

  “Why him?” Jeremy asked, a bit surprised that Kerchner didn’t want to go himself.

  “He’s the most knowledgeable about the Mirage’s engines, next to me, of course. He’s only been with the Dalton Prime Corp for a short while, but he’s very capable and you won’t find anyone willing to work harder. The kid practically slept in the engine room on our way to the Fulchrome system.”

  “And you’re certain you don’t want to go?”

  Kerchner looked away suddenly. Was it guilt? Embarrassment? “The thing is, I have a wife. Her name is Delia.”

  “You do? I thought you were single.” Jeremy couldn’t picture the grizzled engineer with a woman. But he guessed stranger things had happened.

  He nodded slowly. “I married her a month before this last trip. She didn’t want me to go back out there. She wanted me to give up space travel and work in her father’s trash recycling business. Can you picture me sorting through garbage as a job?” He laughed. “But I insisted on going out just one more time. She was in here first thing when we were allowed visitors, crying endlessly, thought I was never coming back, until I agreed to give this ‘dangerous space travel job’ up. So I made a promise to her that I just can’t break.”

  Jeremy nodded. He understood. “So Bergeron, then. Is he trustworthy, do you think?”

  Kerchner shrugged. “As much as any young pup is, I suppose. Like I said, he spent a lot of time in engineering. He’s well trained. Plus, my unbiased impression is that he really likes Angelica. He’d probably do anything for her.” His eyebrows rose.

  Jealous hackles rose equally fast. “Oh?”

  He laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m certain that she only has eyes for you.”

  “Is that right?” Jeremy didn’t care who knew about his love for Angelica. He’d also ensure Bergeron understood his feelings from the get go. If he decided to take the young man along. Since Kerchner didn’t want to go, Bergeron was probably his next best bet. He needed a solid engineer. One he could trust.

  “Yeah. It’s not a big secret, you know. About you and Angelica, I mean.”

  “Yeah. I’m finding that out.” A bunch of the guys in the crew had huddled around them the moment he and Gray stepped into quarantine, staring at him like he was the Dark One visiting only long enough to claim all their souls.

  After a single beat of silence, they all ignored Gray, swarmed Jeremy, and started talking at the same time. Every one of them seemingly trying to explain over each other why Angelica wasn’t with them, how sorry they were that they hadn’t insisted she abandon ship like the rest of the crew, and delivering excuse after excuse until all he heard was cacophony of voices but no words.

  He’d raised both gloved hands in the air. “Stop.” When they silenced again, he said, “I better than anyone else know exactly how Angelica acts, especially when she’s in command.”

  The silence continued for another second, and then snickering and laugher soon followed. He realized the mistaken double entendre he’d said out loud. Not that it wasn’t true. Not that he’d ever admit that, but apparently he didn’t have to.

  “Of a ship,” he added to even heartier laughter and slaps on the back of his bio suit. Jeremy smiled at their encouragement. And the crew’s apparent accord with his and Angelica’s not-so-secret relationship.

  Many of Angelica’s crew had volunteered to go back out to help find her on any further scouting and rescue missions, but Jeremy needed someone who could also manage the engines with the added secret technology.

  That was when he’d promptly cornered Kerchner away from the others to try and persuade him to head back out into space with no result. Jeremy knew the mission he planned was dangerous. After cooling their heels for a long while on a deserted planet, he didn’t blame Kerchner for declining. And he didn’t want anyone along who wasn’t fully committed.

  “If I didn’t have a wife…” Kerchner said, finishing his sentence with a shrug. He pushed out a sigh. “I know Bergeron’s new to the company, and I’ve only seen him in action on this most recent trip, but when he was aboard, he was eager to do a good job, driven maybe. Probably because he was working for Angelica, but at least if he knows you’re after her, he’ll give it his all. Plus, he’s familiar with the Mirage’s engine room. The Stargazer’s engine isn’t so different.” He shrugged again.

  “Thanks. I appreciate your thoughts.” Jeremy contemplated taking someone not associated with the Dalton Prime Corporation. Would a mercenary engineer be better or worse than a love sick newbie? He didn’t know. “Anyone else I should consider besides, Bergeron?”

  “I’d recommend a couple of other engineers before him simply because of their experience, but they all have the same issue with wives and little ones. Eventually they’ll go back out, but not right away. Not after a scare like this. Not if they can help it.”

  Jeremy nodded. “Okay. I’ll speak to Bergeron. Thanks for the tip.”

  Kerchner shrugged. “I don’t know if he’s any better than the guy you already have on the Stargazer, but I believe he’s motivated to find her, if that matters to you.”

  He did want a motivated crewmember. But he wasn’t so certain about a guy who was only motivated to find Angelica because he had a puppy love crush on her. And once he understood Jeremy’s relationship, would he decline anyway?

  Chapter Nine

  William, head still aching like he’d just woken from a debauched night of drunken revelry, contemplated what had just happened. He’d fucked Parisa. He’d fucked her without any regard to anything else. He’d wanted her, and he’d taken her.

  Wildly. Ferociously. Unrepentantly.

  In that moment, William hadn’t cared whether she wanted to have sex or not.

  Acid burned low in his belly to the same rhythm as the banging in his head, at the barest idea he’d taken Parisa against her will. He’d turned her and smashed her face-first into the wall for fuck’s sake. What kind of a man did that? More to the point, why had he been so angry and persistent in the first damned place?

  In the aftermath, Parisa told him she’d wanted him, too. That he hadn’t forced her. She kissed him like she wasn’t upset, but he was troubled enough with himself for the both of them. For as many times as she’d assured him that he hadn’t violated her, William still knew that he wouldn’t have stopped if she’d said no or resisted him in any manner.

  And that realization scared him most of all.

  Surely in the life he’d led before this one, he hadn’t been a man who ever forced women, had he? No. He knew in his gut he wasn’t like that. So why now?

  William still didn’t remember a blessed thing about his past, save the one dancing dream in the castle at sunset, but he was confident in the innate knowledge of how he treated women. He considered his personal moral compass each and every time he and Parisa had been together. When his throbbing cock slid inside Parisa’s hot, tight pussy, he’d renewed the hope that he wasn’t betraying another woman somewhere in the universe out there waiting for him to return. That was who he was. That’s also who I am now.

  But not ten minutes ago. Not when his lust had taken him into a primal fugue state of I must have sex now above any other consideration including he
rs.

  Not before he’d climaxed, waking as if from a nightmare to find his cock buried to the balls inside of Parisa’s tight pussy, having flattened her against the first available flat surface like she was a whore, and he was paying by the thrust.

  He truly hadn’t been able to think past the ferocity of his dark desire to simply fuck until satisfied. The worst part being, he’d loved every stroke, and the orgasm had been superb. Parisa’s soft kiss reassured him slightly, but William released her the moment the door opened to their quarters, like he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t.

  The first person through the door carried a big bouquet of fresh-cut flowers into the room, the aroma of which went straight to his head. Instead of being annoyed by it as he usually was, William took a deep breath of the sweet floral scent into his lungs. Surprisingly, it comforted him in some way. Perhaps he’d missed the familiarity. The pungent aroma made him feel better, oddly enough. Parisa moved closer. She then put her arms around his waist, leaned her head on his shoulder, and also breathed deeply.

  The more he inhaled the rich cloying fragrance, the more the banging in his head dissipated. The sex against the wall had dimmed the considerable pain in his head to a manageable level. The fresh-cut flowers—filling the room with their intoxicating smell—seemingly took the rest of his strident pain away. He was too relieved by the throbbing being gone to trouble himself about why in the moment.

  However, he tucked the information away to decipher later.

  Two more people entered their room, a woman carrying a fresh tray of food and a boy who immediately took the dirty dishes and uneaten breakfast food out of the room. He was followed out quickly by the boy who’d put the fresh flowers next to the bed and also the woman who’d placed the new food tray on the table by the door.

  Once the servants exited, Gruvat then stepped inside with the pipe-like device to remove their chains. He didn’t look at them or even say a word. Unusual. He simply untethered them, grabbed the discarded chains, and left the room. The door shut again like nothing extraordinary had just happened.