Last One to Know

by Sharon Coady

  “Why not? Worked for Brooks and Dunn, didn’t it? It just might become a pretty big name in the business soon, and it sure is better than the name we gave you all when we were kids.”

  “Boy, you got that right.” It felt good to laugh with him again. “I wonder what made Hope think of that name.”

  “Wasn’t it Hope and Heather joking around? Something about all of us wanting to get out of Abeline?”

  They both laughed harder. “I think you’re right. I’d forgotten.” She doubled over, a fit of giggles consuming her. “My sides hurt from laughing so hard.”

  “Mine too.” His features changed, and she definitely saw the flash of desire this time. There was no mistaking the look on his face or how his eyes darkened.

  Her gaze moved down to his lips, his plump kissable lips. Damn, there he goes biting his lower lip. Does he know how sexy that is? She heard him take a sharp breath and pulled her eyes back to his.

  “Johnny, I...I have to go to the bathroom.” She pushed her chair back so hard it almost fell over. She hurried to her room and closed the door behind her. Leaning against the door, she told her heart to slow down. What’s wrong with me? She knew he wanted her and damn, she wanted him too. Why was it scaring the shit out of her to admit it? Why wasn’t she acting on it when she wanted to? She jumped when she heard and felt the soft knock on her door. “What?”

  “Are you okay? I’m sorry if I scared you, Leo. I’d never do anything to hurt you, you know that, right?”

  She put her forehead against the door, her hand on the knob. “I know, Johnny. I don’t know what’s going on with me right now. I think things are moving too quickly, and I’m a bit nervous.” She imagined him standing on the other side with his head against the door as well. Did he have his hand on the knob, too?

  “Can you open the door? Please.”

  Taking a deep breath, she pulled the door open to find him looking down at her with desire, confusion, hurt, and hope flashing through his eyes. He stepped forward and took her hand, bringing it to his heart.

  “Do you feel that, Leo?’

  Swallowing, she nodded, afraid to look at him as she watched her hand against his chest. His heart was racing. She put her other hand on her chest; her heart raced as hard as his. Feelings were rushing through her, and she began to throb with a need for him.

  Johnny cupped her chin in his strong hand and gently lifted her face up so she was gazing into his beautiful eyes. “I’m going to kiss you. Just one kiss then I’m going to bed. Is that all right, Leo?” he whispered as he lowered his face so his mouth was almost touching hers, waiting for her to answer him, his eyes never leaving hers.

  She nodded slightly; her mouth opened to answer him and before she could get anything out, his lips touched hers softly as she breathed him in. Her eyes closed and she leaned into him as he put his arms around her and drew her against him, deepening the kiss. Did she moan or did he? She couldn’t think; all she could do was feel his mouth and his hard body against her. His tongue found its way to hers, and she couldn’t believe the taste of him. She didn’t want the kiss to ever end.

  Suddenly, he pulled back, touched her face, and smiled. “I’ll see you in the morning, Leo. Think about what I said, okay?”

  She touched her lips that moments before had been crushed by his. She wanted more. Where was he going? What was he doing? Oh, he said just one kiss. How could he just go to bed now? What the hell was she feeling? Thank heavens he had enough control because she was about to drag him back to bed. Then how would she have felt in the morning? She closed the door slowly as he climbed the ladder to the loft. I am so screwed.

  ~~~

  He hadn’t mentioned to anyone that his career had taken a turn to the entertainment side. He loved it, loved being involved in signing new musicians to managers or new labels. He wanted that for her.

  But when she touched him like that, taking his hand and telling him she couldn’t imagine him not in her life, it killed him. He didn’t just want to be her friend or her lawyer; he loved her, and he wanted her in his life as his wife. It hurt, thinking of her being with someone else. They were always comfortable together, him taking her in his arms or holding her hand. It was what they did. It was different for him, though, had been for years.

  He knew she realized his desire for her. He saw it in her eyes; saw the fear that entered them when she knew where he had gone with his thoughts. It made him sad, thinking that no matter how much desire he showed, she wouldn’t return those feelings. She apparently saw that, too. He didn’t want her to ask him about it, didn’t want to explain what was so obvious to everyone else, so he changed the subject. Back on track, everything was going fine until she got excited about the possibility of getting a break. Then his damn desire for her came back full force and scared the shit out of her, and she ran. Damn, he couldn’t have her afraid of him.

  He moved to her door and placed his forehead against it. He could feel her on the other side and knew she was leaning against the door. He had to make it right with her; he wouldn’t be able to stand the tension if he didn’t. He knocked before he realized he was even going to do it.

  He needed her to know he would always protect her. Damn it girl, how many years have I kept myself from acting on my feelings for you? Get yourself together, John. Getting angry would be a great way to show her she has nothing to fear.

  Shit, she sounded afraid. He had to make it right. What was he going to say to her to calm her fears? He had no idea what he was going to do or say when she opened the door. If she opened it.

  He felt her turn the knob and stepped back to give her some space. When she opened it, she looked at him with a range of emotions flying through her eyes. He saw fear flash through them as he stepped forward and took her hand in his, placing it against his chest just over his heart. “Do you feel that, Leo?”

  Before he knew what he was doing, he reached down and gently cupped her chin in his hand, lifting her head so he could read her eyes. There was no mistaking the desire that burned there. Her pupils were slightly dilated and her eyes had darkened. Her breathing was faster and shallower.

  Before his mind understood the words that were leaving his mouth, he whispered, “I’m going to kiss you. Just one kiss then I’m going to bed. Is that all right” He lowered his face so his mouth was almost touching hers, waiting for her to answer him, his eyes never leaving hers.

  When she nodded, so slightly he would have missed it if he blinked, he gently touched his lips to hers, breathing in the scent that was so remarkably her. He meant to stop there, but she closed her eyes and leaned into him. He let go of her hand and pulled her against him as he deepened the kiss. When she moaned, he slipped his tongue into her mouth, finding hers. She tasted like cran-apple and Leo. She felt so good against him; he wanted to pull her closer. He didn’t want to stop kissing her. She felt so right in his arms, so willing. Everything was giving him the go ahead and his heart wanted to take it.

  He had to stop. I don’t want to scare her. He groaned and broke the kiss, moving them apart. He touched her face as he smiled and sighed softly. “I’ll see you in the morning, Leo. Think about what I said, okay?”

  She touched her lips right where his had been only moments before, lips that were plump and swollen where his lips had crushed against them. If he didn’t turn and walk away right now, things were going to happen that she might regret in the morning. He had to walk away. He turned and forced his feet to move forward. Forced himself not to look back. If he looked back, he wouldn’t leave. One foot in front of the other, John. Just keep walking.

  Walking away from her was harder than he ever dreamed. And he really thought his plan of seeing her and moving on was going to work? Right. Nope, he was going to have to work harder to make her see how much he loved her. It was the only way. He was hopelessly in love and didn’t want to spend the rest of his life loving her from afar. That wasn’t going to happen if he could help it.

  Chapter Ten

 
The next morning, Leona woke up feeling confused but happy. She had no doubt in her mind that Johnny loved her. She had seen it on his face last night and felt it in his kiss. What confused her was why he walked away after kissing her like that. Did he understand that she felt the same way he did? She had to quit being a damn coward and let him know how she felt. But that scared her, too. Years of denying her desires had taken its toll.

  She made her way to the bathroom to brush her teeth. Glancing in the mirror, she figured she should run a brush through her hair so she looked decent when Johnny saw her. She tamed it down as best she could before slipping out the door to make everyone breakfast before they woke up. She chanced a glance at the loft, but his bed was empty. She remembered he was meeting up with the guys to surf again. Going down the hall to Heather’s room, she found her bed empty and made.

  “Well, good. Now I have time for some coffee and another attempt at composing some lyrics before they make their way back for breakfast.” There was no doubt in her mind that Heather would invite them back. She and Sebastian seemed to be hitting it off. At least Heather was behaving herself, which must mean something.

  Leona started the coffee and went back to her room to grab her lyrics notebook and her favorite writing pen, laughing at the fact that she had to have her special pen to compose. She poured herself a cup of coffee, added her cream and sugar, sat down, and opened the book to her last entry from two nights ago.

  I wonder how different our lives would be

  You’ve been there forever, right in front of me.

  My hero, my friend, the one to always care,

  You’re the one that’s always there.

  Would you let me in if I confess my love to you?

  Or would you turn and walk away?

  Our friends say you love me. That you always

  have.

  If that’s true then why am I the last one to know?

  We’ve always been friends and you encouraged

  me.

  The hurt I caused because I didn’t see.

  I didn’t follow my dreams. I set them aside.

  Let the fear shove my feelings deep inside.

  Would you let me in if I confess my love to you?

  Or would you turn and walk away?

  Our friends say you love me. That you always

  have.

  If that’s true then why am I the last one to know?

  You say I live in my own little world, my own

  little bubble.

  Not seeing what is around me, it caused such

  trouble.

  You were invisible to me because I never saw

  you.

  Yet you are the one who has always been true.

  If I let you in and confess the love I hide,

  Will you stay and keep me by your side?

  I’ve found the courage to make my dreams come

  true.

  Don’t be the last to know, I do love you.

  Let me in, please don’t walk away.

  I promise to see you every day.

  Let me heal the hurt I’ve caused.

  Don’t be the last one to know, I do love you. I do

  love you.

  Shaking her head, she laughed. It sounded like something a teenager would write while she pines over the last boy she broke up with. Why couldn’t she think? She found herself thinking of his kiss last night, the way his lips had felt on hers. She closed her eyes, willing the feelings back, and found it didn’t take her but a second as the memory scorched her mind. Leona shook her head, bringing herself back to her task at hand. She started to rip the page out but stopped herself. It could sit there, maybe one day she could come back to it and make it better.

  Glancing at the clock, she had about an hour before everyone headed back, so she put pen to paper and started allowing her creative juices to flow. When she glanced up again, she was amazed to see the hour had flown by. Closing her notebook, she hurried to her room and stowed them out of sight. She loved Heather, but she didn’t want her snooping through it, and she knew the woman would if she saw it.

  Once out in the kitchen, she set to work making breakfast, finishing the biscuits just as she heard the back door open and the guys talking about how outstanding the waves were that morning. She turned just in time to see Johnny looking at her, his smile so wide that his dimples were showing. Hope and Alastair trailed in behind them. Apparently, they had shown up and gone straight to the beach.

  “Morning, y’all. I hope you’re hungry. There’s a fresh pot of coffee, and I just pulled the biscuits out.”

  “Smells wonderful, Leona. Thanks.” Heather grabbed a mug and poured a cup. “You should’ve come down this morning. The guys were incredible surfing those waves, and the weather was perfect.”

  “I didn’t set my alarm. Sorry.” Leona knew she should go and watch Johnny surf. In a few more weeks, they would be back at college and who knew when she’d see him again. “If you go tomorrow morning, I’ll watch.”

  “Sweet. I’d love that.” Johnny pulled her to him and kissed her on top her head the way he had hundreds of times before. This morning, it was different somehow. “Everything smells great by the way. You didn’t have to go to all this trouble.”

  “Yeah she did.” Sebastian laughed. “I’m starving. Thanks for cooking for all of us this morning. Y’all get in line because I’m going first.” He grabbed a plate out of the cabinet and spooned some of the scrambled eggs onto his plate. He moved to the potatoes and the biscuits before sliding some sausage next to them. He sat down and dug in, giving Leona the thumbs up.

  Alex followed suit as everyone else lined up behind him. “Slow down, man. You’re gonna choke yourself.” Alex slid into the seat next to him and dug into his meal.

  Sebastian’s mouth turned up slightly. “Yeah, when you taste it, you’ll see why I’m eating and not talking.”

  Leona watched as each person ate, smiling and enjoying the meal she’d prepared. She felt someone watching her and turned to find Johnny staring at her.

  “What?”

  He slid closer and put his arm around her shoulder. “Nothing. I just love the way your face lights up when you are doing something that makes you happy. I wish you could see what I see sometimes.”

  She snuggled closer and sighed. “I love having everyone around. It makes me happy. Especially having you here,” she whispered.

  “What did you say?” He leaned his head down. “I missed the last part.”

  “Nothing.” She sat up straighter, smiled, and placed her hand on his cheek. “I’m happy.”

  “Me too. I love spending time with you.” He stood and walked to the sink and placed his dish in the sink. “I’ll wash the dishes once everyone’s done, if someone else will dry and put them away.” He leaned back against the counter, crossed his arms over his chest, and waited for a volunteer. “Don’t everyone jump at once.” He laughed.

  “I’ll help you,” Leona replied.

  “Nope. You cooked. One of these bums is going to help. Can’t have you doing everything.”

  He winked and she felt the heat of yet another blush cross her face. Leona knew she was going to have to speak up soon about how she felt about him. I’m not letting him walk out of my life. Damn the consequences. I’m going to do something for me.

  ~~~

  John watched Leo’s reactions when he spoke to her. Damn she was so cute, especially when she blushed, caught her bottom lip between her teeth, and looked up at him through her thick lashes. He wanted to give her the chance to chase her dreams, but he also wanted to be one of those dreams. He prayed she would give him the chance. He also prayed she would mention the offer he made last night to Alastair. He thought they had a chance at making it and felt he could help further that chance. He was so deep in thought; it took him a moment before he realized someone was speaking to him.

  “What? Sorry, tuned out for a minute.”

  “I’ll help you,” Sebastian repeated. “Leona deserves a b
reak. She and Alastair should practice a bit more since tomorrow night is the mic night. Not that you guys aren’t already great, but I would think practice would be helpful.”

  “We know what you meant,” Leona and Alastair said in unison.

  “But I always like to practice a bit more before a show.” Alastair smiled. “I know she does, too.”

  “Hey, Alastair, I have something I’d like to talk with you about, if you don’t mind.” She glanced at Johnny, and he winked at her again.

  He hoped she was going to talk to him about his offer. John knew Alastair loved music as much as Leo did, and he would want to follow the dream as well. If not, he could probably find her a band, but it wouldn’t be the same for her. He watched them walk out onto the back porch and saw her eyes. His mind wandered back to when they were just kids, and how her skin would flush when she talked about something she wanted to try or know about. He loved that she still had a sweet innocence left from her childhood.

  He turned and started the water, feeling for the correct temperature before putting the stopper in the sink and adding the dish soap.

  “What’s going on with them? She seems excited about something.” Sebastian grabbed a towel out of the drawer by the sink. “She’s something else. Beautiful, talented...”

  “We’ll have to wait and see, won’t we. Thanks for helping me with these.”

  “Hey, no problem. So, how long have you been in love with her?”

  John’s breath caught for just a second before he replied, “What makes you think I’m in love with her?” He handed Sebastian a plate after rinsing it.

  “It’s all over your face when you look at her. I see it in your eyes. I’m not blind. She looks at you the same way. What’s holding y’all back?” He dried the dish and put it back on the shelf.

  John leaned against the sink for a moment and closed his eyes. “Life.”

  “I’ve known you for a few years, and I’ve never seen you go out with anyone. But these last few days watching you with her, I understand why you haven’t shown any interest in anyone else. You’ve loved her for a long time, haven’t you?”