Judgment (The Alternate Earth Series, Book 3)

by S. J. West

  “Ok,” I say looking at everyone, “how do we do this?”

  “We usually hold hands,” Chandler says, taking one of mine while JoJo takes the other, “and stand in a circle.”

  “Once the circle is made,” Gabe says, “we all concentrate and combine our powers to make the inner realm.”

  “Oh!” Leah says, turning to the fireplace in the library and flicking her finger at it. I watch as a small ball of fire flies from her fingertip and lands on the pieces of wood there. “Almost forgot a crucial element.”

  “What’s the fire for?” I ask.

  “The sound usually helps us focus,” Zack answers.

  “Normally, we use a fire or the sound of the ocean at your beach home,” Rafe explains.

  “Ok. So I just need to concentrate on the sound of the fire and making an inner realm.”

  “Easy as pie,” Zack says to me with a wink. “We’ve done this so many times, it’ll probably come right back to you, Jess.”

  “We can hope so,” I reply uneasily, not nearly as confident as he is.

  Both Chandler and JoJo squeeze my hands to show their support and belief in me.

  “You can do this,” Chandler tells me quietly.

  I nod my head and close my eyes to concentrate on the pops and hisses coming from the fire. After about two minutes of trying to make this inner realm thing work, I peek through slit eyelids to see if anyone else is ready to give up.

  No one else has his or her eyes open, so I close mine again.

  I feel like an idiot.

  I have no idea what I’m doing wrong. I’m positive I’m the reason we can’t make the inner realm. Everyone else is probably just waiting on me to make the connection. I start to feel a panic attack threaten to take control of my body.

  Ok, ok, ok… they told me to concentrate on the sounds of the fire. Let’s try that again.

  I shut down each thought my mind is busy with, like you would close tabs in a browser window. Finally, only the sound of the fire is inside my mind. As I listen to this static noise, I feel as though I’m falling into a trance-like state. My breathing becomes more steady and my nerves less frazzled. I know exactly when we’re inside the inner realm, because I’m suddenly at peace.

  When I open my eyes, the other vessels are also just opening theirs. Standing behind each of my friends are people I don’t recognize from a memory, but I instinctively know that they are the archangels tethered to my friends’ souls.

  I let go of Chandler and JoJo’s hands. With a deep breath to steady my nerves, I slowly turn around to find out if Michael is standing behind me or not. I have my head bowed, so I end up seeing his black sneakers first. I quickly look up to meet his happy eyes.

  “Hey, Jess,” he says, smiling brightly.

  I immediately walk up to him and throw my arms around his neck. Tears of joy stream down my face, and I feel like I’ve just come home from a long trip after Michael wraps his arms around me.

  “I still don’t have any memories of you,” I whisper to him through my sobs, “but I remember you, if that makes sense.”

  “I’m a part of you, Jess,” Michael tells me. “Now a piece of you is back where it belongs.”

  I pull back and ask Michael, “What happened when Ravan tried to phase me to Heaven? How did that take my memories away and break our connection with one another?”

  “When she tried to phase us,” Michael begins to explain, “it was like she stretched our connection with one another to its very limits. I think I actually did see Heaven for a moment. It was during that split second of separation that our connection was damaged, but it was never completely broken. I was afraid it might be permanent, but thank God that isn’t the case.”

  In a whisper so low that only Michael can hear, I ask, “So you really think the whole ‘sex cure’ thing will work?”

  “I hope it will,” he whispers back. “It certainly won’t hurt anything.”

  “What if it doesn’t work? What if I’m stuck like this forever?”

  “I don’t think that’s your fate, Jess.”

  “But what if it is?” I ask desperately, on the verge of panic. “How can I be a good wife and mother to people I can’t even remember?”

  “Listen to me,” Michael grabs me by the shoulders, to make sure I’m looking at him. “No matter what happens, you are still the same person you always have been. Memories naturally fade over time. It’s what you do in the present and the future that matters most.”

  “But it helps if you know where you’ve been.”

  Michael doesn’t say anything, because he knows I’m right.

  “We’ll work through it together, Jess. If tonight doesn’t work, we’ll find another way to make things feel right for you.”

  I nod. “Ok.”

  I trust Michael to know my limits, because I don’t. I hug him one more time before returning to my circle of friends.

  “One problem fixed,” Chandler says to me as I take his hand.

  “One down and one to go I guess,” I tell him as JoJo takes my other hand. “Now, how do we get out of here? I have a date to finish, and some kind of surprise waiting for me back there.”

  “Just think about getting back to Mason,” Chandler tells me with a crooked grin. “That always works.”

  I smile at the mention of my husband’s name and close my eyes. A picture of him quickly forms in my mind.

  I know the instant we leave our inner realm and return to reality. Mason’s presence behind me brings me comfort, but also makes my heart race at the same time. When I turn to face him, his expression is expectant.

  “Michael can talk to me now,” I tell him, “but it didn’t help return any of my memories.”

  Mason doesn’t look as disappointed as I thought he would.

  “Well, then, maybe it’s time you saw my surprise for you.” Mason holds out his hand to me. “Are you ready?”

  “Yes.” I step up and place my hand in his. Before we leave, I turn to my friends and say, “Thank you for doing that for me. It helped more than you can imagine.”

  “We would do anything for you, Jess,” Gabe tells me. “Anything at all.”

  “Thanks,” I tell them once more before letting Mason lead me out of the room.

  “Where are we going?” I ask.

  “To our bedroom,” he tells me, which makes me miss a step. Mason chuckles. “Don’t worry; I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.”

  I wasn’t sure if that was a threat or a promise. There were certainly things I wanted Mason to do to me. I just wasn’t sure if I was ready to experience them yet.

  When we get to our room, I can’t help but smile. A neat arrangement of comforters is laid out on the floor at the end of the bed, with an array of pillows propped up low against the footboard. There are unlit white candles scattered around in the room. What looks like a wooden dinner tray sits on top of the blankets, with nine cellphones neatly arranged across its surface.

  Mason lets go of my hand and walks over to the fireplace mantle. I watch as he reaches for something on top of it just before I hear the striking of a match.

  I begin to laugh.

  Mason turns to face me with his lit match and smiles as we share in his little joke.

  “I thought you might find that amusing,” he tells me, before walking around the room to light all the candles. “Would you mind turning the light off?”

  I reach over and flip the switch down on the wall beside me. The room is cloaked in a darkness that is only chased away by the flames from the lit candlewicks.

  Mason places his box of matches back on the mantle and says, “Take a seat so I can give you your surprise.”

  I walk over to the edge of the pile of comforters and slip off my shoes. Mason sits down between the end of the bed and the wooden tray. I sit next to him and wait for him to explain why the cellphones are in our room.

  “Are we calling someone?” I ask as a joke, knowing that the phones won’t work because of the dama
ge the meteorites did to the communications systems.

  “No,” Mason tells me, reaching for one of the phones. “We’re not making a call. We’re going to give you back some of your memories.”

  I sit up a little straighter at this news.

  “How?” I ask eagerly.

  “From the pictures and videos on these phones,” Mason says, sliding his finger across the screen of the phone to turn it on.

  “That’s brilliant!” I say excitedly. “I see why I love you so much.”

  Mason smiles. “Well, you have always loved the way I think.”

  “I’m sure that’s not all I love,” I tell him knowingly.

  “No, it’s not,” he confirms, angling the phone in my direction. “I have some photos from our wedding stored on my phone. I thought we would start there.”

  “You keep our wedding pictures on your phone?” I ask, wondering how many men in the world would do such a thing after seven years of marriage.

  “Of course I do,” Mason tells me. “It was one of the happiest days of my life. Besides, I always get a chuckle when I see you in your wedding dress.”

  “Why is that?” I ask, finding it a strange thing for him to say.

  Mason places his phone in my hands and says, “Take a look.”

  I look down at the screen and gape at myself in my wedding dress. I can’t help but giggle.

  “Why do I look like a giant marshmallow?” I ask. As soon as the word leaves my mouth, I realize I might have just discovered the source of our second code word. “Is that what we call a marshmallow? My wedding dress?”

  “Not exactly,” Mason replies as he leans over and whispers into my ear the exact meaning of the code word ‘marshmallow’.

  I involuntarily gasp from pleasure as Mason’s warm breath caresses the inside of my ear with his whisper. While he’s there, he gently tugs on my earlobe with his teeth, sending pleasurable tingles all through my body.

  “Oh,” is the only word I can utter after learning what a marshmallow is and attempting to stop my heart from racing out of control.

  Mason tilts his head and pays special attention to a rather sensitive patch of skin along my neck, one I feel sure he’s visited many times before. The sensations his lips invoke pull at hidden memories of moments spent very much like this one.

  “Keep looking at the pictures,” Mason urges me as he continues his gentle assault across my flesh.

  “How the hell am I supposed to concentrate on pictures at a time like this?”

  Mason laughs softly and plants one last kiss on my neck before abandoning his efforts.

  “Keep looking,” he says again.

  I flip through the pictures that chronicle our wedding day.

  “We look so happy,” I say. “I don’t know why I should be surprised by that. It was our wedding day, after all.”

  “You were extremely nervous about walking down the aisle in that behemoth dress JoJo designed for you. But your dad suggested that you float so you wouldn’t trip. He promised he wouldn’t let you fall.”

  “Does he call me Jessi?” I ask.

  Mason’s expression perks up. “Yeah, he’s the only one who does. Did you just remember that?”

  I shake my head, feeling frustrated with myself for having to tell Mason, “No. I didn’t remember that just now. I’m sorry.”

  Mason looks slightly disappointed, but asks, “Then how did you know?”

  “Lucian said something about not letting me fall, and I heard another male voice in my head say almost the exact same thing, except he called me ‘Jessi’.”

  “You were remembering your dad, then. That’s a good thing, Jess.”

  I lay Mason’s phone down on the tray. “What else is there to see on these phones?”

  “I’m not completely sure,” Mason admits. “I gathered them from everyone who came with us to this reality; well, except for Jered and Tristan. They’re still out looking for the princes.”

  “Nina said you had to get something from Xavier. Why would you need his phone? Isn’t he from this Earth?”

  “Yes, but Malcolm gave Xavier his phone shortly after we arrived. I wanted to get it back because I knew it would have some videos of Lilly’s family. She’s Michael’s daughter.”

  “But why did Malcolm give Xavier his phone?”

  “Xavier lost his son a while back,” Mason explains. “Malcolm thought he would like to see the Sebastian from our world.”

  “How did Xavier’s son die?”

  Mason instantly looks uncomfortable with my question, but he doesn’t sugarcoat his words as he says, “You killed him.”

  Stunned doesn’t quite cover how I’m feeling. Before I go completely numb, I have to ask, “Why did I kill him?”

  “It happened when Faison went through the Tear,” Mason explains. “Sebastian was in wolf form when he came through to our reality. When he got there, he attacked you. You did what you had to do to defend yourself, Jess. He didn’t give you much of a choice.”

  “Then why did Xavier help me? He should hate me for what I did,” I say, wondering why he would willingly help someone who killed his child. I wasn’t sure I could act as nobly.

  “He’s actually grateful to you for not allowing his Sebastian to bite you. If he had, his soul would have been darkened and possibly lost forever. Xavier is a lot like our Malcolm in that regard. All either one of them has ever wanted was for their son to find peace. Malcolm’s Sebastian was granted the privilege of becoming completely human, and actually has a family of his own now with our Brand’s Abby.”

  “Which one is Malcolm’s phone?” I ask.

  Mason picks it up and hands it to me.

  It takes me a while to go through each phone’s pictures and videos. Many of them have footage of my last birthday party. Mason tells me that it was the same night we traveled to this reality.

  As I watch videos of my family back on our Earth, I begin to feel homesick. I see my children playing in the background of many of the videos. It makes me wish I could reach into the phone and pull them to me.

  When Mason hands me the last phone to look through, he says, “This one is yours.”

  I stare at the rather nondescript black device in my hand. I feel no sense of connection to it, but maybe I just wasn’t a phone person to begin with.

  “The morning of your birthday,” Mason says, “I took a video of the kids on it. We got so busy that day that I forgot to show it to you later.”

  “And it’s still on here?” I ask.

  Mason nods. “Yes, it’s on there. Are you ready to see it?”

  I feel my eyes begin to tear up at just the thought of seeing my children, even if it is only through a video. All I can do is nod my head, because I don’t trust my voice to remain steady.

  Mason takes the phone out of my hand to cue up the video for me. He then hands the phone back to me and says, “Just tap the screen when you’re ready.”

  I hold the phone in both hands. On the screen, in a perpetual state of stillness, are my children. Just looking at their sweet faces brings forth a well of emotions from deep inside my heart. With a shaky hand, I lightly touch the screen to start the video.

  “What is today?” I hear Mason ask the kids from behind the camera.

  “Mommy’s birthday!” Max and Brynlee say in unison, with smiles on their faces.

  “And what do we say to Mommy on her birthday?”

  Both my children look a little confused, but Max pipes up and says like a question, “Happy birthday?”

  “And…” Mason says, hinting there should be more for them to say.

  “We love you, Mommy!” Brynlee proclaims before her expression goes back to one of confusion. “But, Daddy, we say that every day. Not just on her birthday, silly!”

  I hear Mason chuckle off screen. “Very true, Brynlee. And why do we tell Mommy every day that we love her?”

  “Because she’s the bestest mommy in the whole world!” Brynlee declares proudly with a smile as bright
as the sun on her face. “And she loves us more than anything.”

  Max and Brynlee’s faces begin to blur through a veil of unshed tears. I quickly wipe at my eyes because I don’t want to miss a moment of the video.

  “And who loves Mommy just as much?” Mason asks the kids.

  “We do!” They proclaim.

  Little Brynlee walks up to the camera and stares into it.

  “Mommy,” she says, staring at me like she’s peering into my soul. “If you have to go away on your trip tonight, I promise I’ll try not to cry. I’ll miss you, so don’t stay away too long, ok?”

  Brynlee kisses the screen, and the video ends.

  I drop the phone in my lap, unable to hold onto it any longer as I begin to sob uncontrollably. I feel Mason wrap his arms around me, holding me against him for support that isn’t solely physical.

  The images of my children stay clear inside my mind. I feel an intense jolt of longing to be with them again. Overwhelmed by this emotion, I begin to cry even harder.

  Out of nowhere, I begin to see visions of my children in scenes that weren’t captured in any video I just watched, or any picture I just viewed on the phones. I grip Mason’s shirt tightly with both hands as my mind is flooded with memories of them from the past. I can remember the first time I ever felt Max kick me and joking with Mason that I had an alien inside my belly. I remember holding my firstborn for the first time, right after his delivery, and having him look at me with eyes that reminded me so much of his father. Following this memory comes one of Brynlee as she takes her first step all by herself. A treasure trove of moments from my past begins to flash through my mind, bringing with them pieces I had lost of myself.

  Mason soon takes center stage within my thoughts, and the love I feel for him is quickly put into context. He’s not just my lover. He’s my best friend, my partner in life, and my rock when life threatens to give me more than I can handle. He is my anchor when storms of doubt threaten to whisk me out to sea.

  As my memories return, my tears subside.

  I know who I am now. I know my purpose.

  I loosen my grip on Mason’s shirt, and lift my head from his chest to look up at him. I don’t have to say anything. I can tell by the look in his beautiful blue eyes that he knows what just happened.