The Beloved Christmas Quilt

by Brunstetter, Wanda E. ; Brunstetter, Jean; Brunstetter, Richelle

  The voices in the tent enclosed Roseanna like spiraling winds, as she waited with John on the bench near the entrance. Next to them sat their witnesses: Roseanna’s friend Katie, her sister Mary, and John’s friends Nate and Amos.

  She shifted, trying to get as comfortable as she could. With a forced smile, Roseanna shook hands with the people from her community while they walked past. Her fingers and toes were frigid, which was ironic given what she and Katie had discussed before. Maybe her inward feelings reflected her outer physique, but she hoped that wasn’t the case.

  She gazed at her sister. Roseanna noticed Mary bouncing her leg up and down while tugging at her kapp ties. About a month ago, Mary had commented on how she would find someone soon who’d want to court her, and then she’d be the next to marry. But it didn’t look like she was quite so matter-of-fact about it anymore. Yes, Mary. Getting married isn’t as simple as you thought, huh?

  As the first hymn began, Roseanna went with John to the house to be counseled by the ministers, while their witnesses waited in another room. Roseanna knew this was important to their marriage, but her eyes were heavy. If she’d had a better night’s sleep, she would’ve been able to listen wholeheartedly to what was being said. But as it was, she had to suppress a few yawns.

  Afterward as they walked outside, the reverberation of another hymn being sung from the tent caused Roseanna’s mouth to quiver.

  “It’s uplifting, isn’t it?” Roseanna whispered.

  “Jah.” She felt John’s fingers tremble as he squeezed her arm.

  Roseanna’s heart began to race as they entered the tent and sat in their seats in front of everyone they knew. Everything felt surreal, making Roseanna wonder if she were dreaming that all of this was happening. But Katie’s all-too-realistic coughing assured her that this was in fact happening. When Katie’s bout continued as the bishop talked, Roseanna handed her a cough drop from a small plastic bag she’d placed under her chair, knowing her friend was going to need them since she’d come down with a cold overnight.

  “Danki,” Katie mouthed, with a faint whisper as she removed the purple wrapper.

  “You’re welcome.”

  When the bishop stood among everyone and spoke, Roseanna made sure to give him her full attention. She knew what was coming next. She was about to become a Mrs., bound together with her groom so they would spend the rest of their lives together. Eventually they would have a house of their own, gain new responsibilities, and someday raise children. Was she certain this was the right choice?

  But she never got to ponder her question. Without warning, John got up from his chair and dashed out of the tent.

  Roseanna’s eyes widened. John? Where is he going?

  CHAPTER 3

  John’s heart raced, and sweat beaded on his forehead as he paced. He rubbed his face, dragging his palms to his chin. “How did I get myself in this predicament again?” he muttered. ”What was I thinking?”

  John’s breath caught in his chest. His mind raced through so much at once that he couldn’t organize any of his thoughts. Why did he walk out of the tent? He loved Roseanna so much, so why did he leave her there in front of their friends and family?

  “John!”

  He turned toward the familiar voice. His fiancée stood a good distance away.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah.” He shook his head. “No.” John didn’t know what to do. Part of him wanted nothing more than to run up to Roseanna, hold her, and apologize for behaving as he had. He wished he could tell her how much he loved her. He wished he could say everything would be okay.

  Roseanna, I thought this was the right choice. I was sure I could spend the rest of my life with you. I thought I was ready this time.

  She rushed toward him.

  “I can’t marry you, Roseanna.” John’s legs seemed to move on their own as he took off in the direction of the field. He wasn’t sure where he was heading, but he needed to get away from Roseanna. How could he begin to express the way he felt? She wouldn’t take it too well; he knew that much. Truth was, he didn’t understand it himself. All he could hear was his blood pumping through his ears and the faint sound of Roseanna calling out to him.

  Roseanna had attended a few weddings throughout her life. She recalled the chatter of people and the hymns she’d heard plenty of times. Even as the vows were being said, it was never entirely silent. But at the moment, the voices from the tent no longer existed. Surely everyone must be as shocked as she was.

  Although the sun lit the entire property, the cold breeze stung Roseanna’s cheeks as she ran over to the rows of buggies lined up in their field. It was a literal maze as she neared the line of horses, spooking some as she ran past.

  “Where is he?” Roseanna panted. “Where is John? I need to find out why he thinks we can’t be married.”

  Suddenly, Roseanna’s vision met the grass under her feet, and her nose rubbed the soil. She wasn’t sure what she had tripped over, but as she clambered to her feet, she had no time to figure it out. When she noticed a white shirt out of the corner of her eye, she jerked her head in the direction of where her groom was running.

  “John!” Roseanna bolted toward him faster than she’d ever run in her life. Although she was a fast runner, John had always been a smidge quicker than her. Tripping had slowed Roseanna down as well. But she was determined to catch up to him, so she breathed in heavy, cold air and rushed forward. She practically knocked John over when she bumped into his back.

  The impact stopped him. He turned and looked at her with an unidentifiable expression. “Roseanna.”

  “Why did you leave the tent? Why would you run away from me, John?” Roseanna murmured, barely able to swallow. Her mouth was moist, yet it was dry in the back of her throat.

  “I… I don’t know.” His voice cracked as he stared down at his feet.

  “What do you mean you don’t know? John, you left. Right before our vows.”

  “But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.”

  “Then what does it mean?” Her throat felt like it was burning. Roseanna despised it when people were dishonest, and she could tell John was hiding something from her.

  John looked away and rubbed his nose. He appeared disconnected from his surroundings. Kicking the ground a couple of times, he remained silent.

  “John, why did you leave? Please tell me. I need to know.”

  He clasped her fingers and lifted her hand. “Roseanna. I am truly sorry, but I have to go.” John squeezed her hand like he had done earlier, but then loosened his grip and turned away. “I can’t do this. I was dumm for thinking so.”

  “Please, John. We need to talk about this.” Roseanna trembled.

  He walked away and didn’t look back at her even once.

  Roseanna considered running after John again, but she was too hurt to do anything. She sank to the ground and wrapped her arms around herself.

  Roseanna stood by the tent as she tried to take in what had happened. How was she going to tell everyone? She was stunned. Glancing down at the front of her dress, she grimaced at the soiled spots left from when she’d taken her spill.

  This is the least of my worries. My major problem is that John left me and he isn’t coming back. Roseanna, still in shock, closed her weary eyes and asked the Lord to give her the strength she needed to enter the tent. She silently quoted Mom’s favorite verse: “For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.”

  As Roseanna stumbled into the tent, she felt eyes upon her from every direction. Her face heated up as she made her way over to the men’s side, where her father sat on a bench. She knelt down next to him. It was unusual for the men and women to intermingle during a church service or wedding, so she assumed a few questionable looks were being cast her way as she leaned close to her father.

  “D–dad,” she whispered.

  He gazed at her with concern in his eyes. “What is it, Roseanna? Where’s John?”

>   Roseanna looked toward the exit of the tent and asked her father to come with her outside to talk privately. He nodded and stood up, following her out of the tent. She could hear the murmurs filtering out of the tent. Roseanna could only guess what her family and friends were thinking as they waited to find out what was going on.

  She explained to him what had taken place between her and John. Dad’s wide-eyed expression made Roseanna wish she could disappear. She was aware of how devastated everyone would be, especially John’s parents. Roseanna was already humiliated by John leaving the tent, but the embarrassment could have been remedied if he’d come back with her and said their vows. But he didn’t come back. And he’d made it clear he wasn’t going to. She had to accept the fact that John was not going to be her groom.

  Dad gave Roseanna a comforting hug. “I’m sorry, Daughter, for what has happened to you. I can only imagine how you’re feeling right now.” He patted her back.

  “Thank you.” Roseanna swallowed against the burning sensation in her throat.

  Dad let his arms fall to his sides. “I’ll take it from here, Roseanna.” His deep voice had a reassuring tone, and it wrapped around her spirit in such a comforting manner. “I’ll go back into the tent and tell the bishop this news.” Dad lifted her chin. “Go back to the house, and wait for us there.”

  Roseanna barely managed to nod.

  Curious, she peeked into the tent, watching as her father went over to the bishop. She saw his lips move and the bishop nodding slowly.

  This is the worst day of my life. Roseanna grabbed the folds in her dress. She felt another flush of embarrassment after the bishop and her father stopped talking.

  The bishop stood up, clearing his throat while pulling on his coat sleeve. “It is with great regret that I must tell all of you the wedding has been called off.”

  Gasps and murmurs drifted through the tent.

  “At the parents’ request, however, you are all invited to stay and partake of the afternoon meal.”

  Unable to bear the humiliation, Roseanna dashed across their lawn and headed straight for the back door, not once looking back to see if anyone had noticed her. At least she hadn’t had to tell everyone, but Roseanna felt numb. Why her groom had left her with a broken heart was beyond comprehension.

  Slamming the door of her room, Roseanna gritted her teeth to prevent herself from screaming. Tasting the salt of her tears, she picked up one of her pillows and threw it across the room. Then Roseanna flopped on the bed and curled up against the mattress. She wiped the tears from her face with the sleeve of her wedding dress. To think I was worried that I might panic and run out on John. Her thoughts were scrambled and disjointed, for she never would have done something like that. If Roseanna had changed her mind about marrying John, she would have said something before the wedding.

  The door of her bedroom swung open with the whoosh of a hurricane. “Roseanna!” Katie yelled, but then was overtaken by a fit of coughing. “Roseanna, are you okay? Why was the wedding canceled? What happened between you and John?”

  “Katie, I don’t want to talk about it right now.” Roseanna sat up on her bed. “Can I be left alone for a while?”

  “No. I’m your friend, and I am here to comfort you in your time of need.” Katie came over to the bed and sunk her weight into the mattress. “Even if you don’t want to tell me anything, I still want to be here for my best friend.” Katie leaned over and gasped. “Roseanna—your leg!”

  My leg? Roseanna looked down and noticed a few drops of red on the wooden surface of the floor. Pressing her hand on her stocking and then lifting it, she realized there was blood on her palm.

  “How did you hurt your leg?” Katie covered her mouth. “Did John do this to you?”

  “Ach! No, Katie. It’s not what you think.” Roseanna pressed her hand back on her leg. “I tripped earlier, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”

  “Should I call your mamm? It could be a serious cut!”

  “I don’t think so, Katie. But you could go to the bathroom and get me the first-aid kit, please.”

  “I’ll be right back.” Before Katie headed out of the room, she looked back at Roseanna. “Good thing I didn’t leave like you asked, huh?”

  “I guess you’re right.” Roseanna rubbed her eyes with her sleeve again. She laid down on the bed once more, holding her leg firmly with her hands. Roseanna felt how sore her leg was now. How strange. I can’t believe I didn’t feel any pain after I tripped.

  Roseanna nearly choked on the bile rising in her throat. What a mess this morning has turned out to be. I can’t even begin to figure out what is going on in John’s head. Why’d he do this to us? Her brows furrowed. I thought I knew him well enough to sense how he really felt about me. His parents seemed so happy and sure about us living with them after the wedding. Wouldn’t they have noticed if anything seemed off to them?

  All the gifts people had brought to the wedding would have to be given back. For days—maybe even months—folks would talk about Roseanna’s runaway groom. She’d be bombarded with questions, curious stares, and well-meaning sympathetic gestures. Roseanna didn’t want any of that. She just wanted to be left alone to deal with her grief.

  As she remained on her bed, Roseanna heard voices now and then from the open window. She knew the meal would begin around noon, and it was getting pretty close to that now. If things had gone as planned, she and John would be getting ready to dine as man and wife with everyone else.

  She wondered how her parents were doing among all the guests. Roseanna felt bad, not only for them but for John’s parents as well. John had done a rotten thing, backing out like this with no explanation whatsoever. He’d left many individuals to stay and carry out their promise to do the serving and the cleanup of the meals, yet it all went to waste. Tomorrow, they’d take down all of the tents and put all the benches on the church wagons. Roseanna doubted that John would come back here and help with cleaning up the remnants of their failed wedding day. She wasn’t sure she would ever see him again.

  Her soul felt broken, like one of Mom’s delicate teacups that had shattered and could never be repaired. Would the pain ever end? Roseanna covered her face with her hands. How will I handle the challenge of seeing everyone at church this Sunday?

  CHAPTER 4

  A couple of days had passed since John ran away, and Roseanna wasn’t feeling any better. Church was scheduled for tomorrow, and while she wished she could stay home, Roseanna knew she would be expected to attend. In all of her twenty years, she had only missed church twice, and both times she had been ill.

  Heading into the bathroom, Roseanna lit the gas lamp near the sink and applied a fresh bandage to her leg. She’d hit a capillary when she tripped, which was why her leg had bled so much. The injury was now protected by a scab, and her skin wasn’t as dark as it had been at first. Thank goodness my leg is all right. Roseanna exhaled and pressed on the wound. It seems to be healing fine. But what did I trip over? A buggy wheel, maybe?

  Extinguishing the light, Rosanna walked out of the bathroom and went to the living room, taking a seat on the couch. She smelled the pungent aroma of her favorite tea.

  “Here, Rosey.” Her mother handed Roseanna a mug. “How are you feeling?”

  Roseanna took a sip of tea and then placed it down on the side table. “My leg is still sore, but it has gotten better.”

  “That’s good.” Roseanna’s mother sat in the rocking chair and leaned back. “But how are you feeling about what happened? Are you doing all right?”

  “As well as I can.” How can I be all right? The person I loved dearly decided he no longer wants to be a part of my life—no explanation given. Roseanna grasped her mug and sipped the warm liquid. Her heart still ached, but the tea was comforting.

  “Roseanna.”

  “I’d rather not talk about it, Mamm. Not now, at least.”

  Mom patted her arm. “Okay. But I’m here for you when you’re ready.”

  As Roseanna
finished the rest of her tea, Nancy Anne walked into the living room and sat down. She raised her hands and said good morning in sign language.

  Their mother got up from the rocking chair and walked over to Nancy Anne, patting her shoulder as she gave an earnest smile. Mom then signed to Nancy Anne, asking her if she slept all right and if she’d be interested in some tea to drink, as well.

  Nancy Anne’s nod was slow, like it often was when she was exhausted. She’d worked excessively hard the day before to clean up everything from the wedding. Not to mention all the things she’d done to help out for many days before the wedding.

  Roseanna’s heart warmed, knowing Nancy Anne had a spirit of helpfulness and a willingness to work, regardless of her disability. Her sister would be able to overcome any sort of obstacles that may come up in her future.

  “Come on, Roseanna.” Katie clipped a purple leash on the collar of her Pomeranian. “Walking is a great way to get your mind off of things. And I know that Ella certainly needs the exercise.”

  Roseanna lowered her gaze to the floor in Katie’s kitchen, focusing on the petite canine. With all its white fluffy fur, the dog resembled a cloud with feet. She knelt down and combed her fingers through the soft hair. “Gut hund.”

  “Ella is a good dog, isn’t she? She’s also very schmaert. Here, I’ll show you.” Katie got up and went over to the pantry. She reached in, pulled out a red box, and shook it. “Come here, girl! Come here!”

  Ella’s ears perked up and she galloped away from Roseanna toward Katie. Her tail whipped side to side as Katie continued to shake the box and then proceeded to pull out a bone-shaped treat.

  Katie held the treat over the dog’s head and pointed to the floor. “Sit, Ella. Sit. No. You’ve gotta sit if you want the treat. Sit!”

  Ella attempted to jump up and snatch the treat from Katie rather than listen to her command.

  Roseanna stifled a chuckle, admitting to herself that it was amusing to watch.