by Brunstetter, Wanda E. ; Brunstetter, Jean; Brunstetter, Richelle
After Mark said good-bye, Karen watched his horse and buggy head down the driveway. Obviously Mark wasn’t thrilled about John showing up here, but at least he’d agreed not to pressure Roseanna. Karen felt sure her daughter would make the right decision. God was watching over her family and would continue to do so, no matter what happened.
“Mamm.” Mary peered out through the open window. “I got all my chores done. Can I go hang out with my friends?”
Karen looked over her shoulder. “Even cleaning the bathroom?”
“I’ll be right back.” Mary slid the window shut.
Looking out to the field, Karen smiled as she saw Adam cropping in the distance. It looked like a good hay harvest. Lord, thank You for watching over my family and for keeping us safe.
Paradise, Pennsylvania
Roseanna sat on one of the couches in her grandparents’ living room. She had been staying at Grandma and Grandpa Zook’s home for almost a week but still hadn’t figured out what she would do when she returned to Lykens.
I wonder if Mark knows that I’m no longer at home. I should have let him know that I’d be leaving for a while. Roseanna stuffed a throw pillow behind her head. Maybe I’ll give Katie a call and visit with her in a day or two.
She’d been focusing more on working on another dress and was fortunate that her grandmother had some supplies she was able to borrow. But Roseanna couldn’t stay with her grandparents forever, and she didn’t want to overstay her welcome, even though she knew they enjoyed her company.
Roseanna was on the verge of resting her eyes for a bit, when she heard footsteps coming from the hallway.
“How’s my lovely granddaughter this morning?” Her grandfather’s wrinkles were defined by his pleasant expression.
“I’m doing okay.” She eyed the coffee mug he held. “I see you’re having your boost of energy for today.”
“Jah.” Grandpa took a long sip. “But only one cup of coffee per day. It’s all I need to stay awake.” He sat down in his recliner and pulled the lever to elevate his feet. “I could brew you a cup once I finish mine if you want, Roseanna.”
“That’s okay, Grandpa. I’m not much of a coffee drinker.”
Coming from the kitchen, Roseanna’s grandmother entered the living room. Her blue eyes twinkled as her gaze went to the front door. “It’s nice out this morning. Why don’t you join me on the porch and take in God’s beauty for a while?”
“Sure.” Roseanna stood from the couch. “Would you like to join us, Grandpa?”
“Nah. I’ve been outside for most of the morning anyway. I’ll be fine in here.”
When Roseanna stepped outside with Grandma, the breeze from the morning air brushed the fine hairs on her arms, creating a tickling sensation. She and Grandma shared a seat on the porch swing and talked about several things, like how Roseanna felt when she created the dresses her neighbors requested—especially the dimples that formed on little girls’ faces when they got pretty new outfits. But Roseanna’s thoughts still centered on the larger issues she was facing.
Once her grandmother paused to look out to the yard, and since they were alone on the porch, Roseanna figured it would be the perfect opportunity to confide in her grandma about what was really going on.
“Grandma, I need to confess something to you.” Roseanna fumbled with her fingers. “I didn’t come here for a simple visit. I actually came here to give myself time to think over a huge problem. But I haven’t been able to come up with a proper solution.”
“You’re being a little vague.”
Roseanna lifted her head. “I know. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay, dear.” Grandma leaned forward to make the swing rock. “Whenever you’re ready to tell me, I’ll be here to listen.”
Sitting in silence, Roseanna intertwined her fingers as she tapped her feet. She trusted her maternal grandmother to give her some encouragement. Even though she didn’t see her grandparents as often as she would like, they’d always done their best to be there for her.
Roseanna sighed and then told Grandma about John and how he apologized to her. She expressed her conflicting feelings and said she hadn’t stopped thinking about him, even after he first left. She sighed. “Mark made me happy while I was trying to move on. He gave me a sense of hope to commit to a relationship again.”
Roseanna paused. “But when I saw John standing there… Well, I wanted to tell him to leave and that I never wanted to see him again.” Roseanna felt cold, and she knew it wasn’t from being outside. “Yet I knew that I would’ve been lying. To him and to myself. When I saw him, part of me felt happy.”
“Hmm…” Her grandmother leaned forward, concentrating on Roseanna. “You know, I was in a similar predicament before I married your grandfather.”
“What?” Her heartbeat quickened. “What do you mean, Grandma? Grandpa ran from your wedding?”
Her grandmother giggled and patted Roseanna’s shoulder. “No, dear. But there was another man who was determined to have me. And for a time, I even considered that option.”
Roseanna slapped a hand against her cheek. “You mean you almost didn’t marry Grandpa? But what made you decide he was the one?”
“It was not a difficult choice to make, because I loved him very much.” She brushed Roseanna’s shoulder and smiled. “But my folks didn’t approve of our relationship because Grandpa was sixteen years older than me. All I could do was pray about it and rely on God to give me a sense of peace. Of course, in the end my parents gave us their blessing, and we’ve been happily married ever since.” Grandma patted Roseann’s arm. “When you ask the Lord for guidance, He will surely have an answer for you.”
She shook her head. “Grandma, I have prayed about it, and I still don’t know what to do.”
“Answers don’t always come right away, Roseanna. Everything happens in God’s time, but it will all work out when you have faith in the path He has for you.”
Roseanna fiddled with her sleeve, feeling her muscles tense up. I know I need to continue to pray, but I need an answer now. I can’t wait any longer. If I do, then I may not have the chance to be with John or Mark.
“I also refer to a verse that has been with me throughout my long life.”
“What is the verse, Grandma?” Roseanna swallowed. “Maybe it could help me, too.”
Her grandmother sighed with contentment. “ ‘For thou art my rock and my fortress; therefore for thy name’s sake lead me, and guide me.’”
“Where is that verse found in the Bible?”
“Psalm 31:3.” Grandma closed her eyes as she kept the swing moving. “I am surprised you aren’t familiar with the verse.”
“What do you mean? Should I have memorized it?”
“I would suggest you memorize many verses from the Bible. We all need to be reminded that God is always there to guide us through even the most difficult times. That constant reminder will be what you need to get through your decision.”
Leaning back in her chair, Roseanna noticed how some of the leaves were beginning to drift away from the branches of the sugar maple tree. Fall is just around the corner. Roseanna took in a deep breath. Please, Lord. I know everything happens in Your time, but I hope You’ll answer my prayers soon. Please give me a sense of direction.
CHAPTER 12
Lykens
December started snowy and cold. Roseanna compacted the cold powder in her hands, trying to form a snowball, but it crumbled away. “Looks like we can’t have a snowball fight, after all.”
“Again?” Adam’s shoulders slumped. “Why can’t it be the good kind of snow? It would make the cold weather better if it was.”
She rubbed her hands together, quickly enough for them to ignite with warmth. “Hey, Adam. You know that one hillside we go to every year?”
His mouth stretched wider than taffy. “Are you suggesting we go sledding, Roseanna?”
“Maybe. Why don’t you go and fetch Mary and Nancy Anne, while I get the sleds?”
> “Can do.”
As Adam took off to the house, Roseanna hurried to the shed and flung the door open. Maybe we could invite Mark on the way there. She giggled as her face heated up. When she’d returned to Lykens over a month ago, Roseanna had decided she wouldn’t let John influence how she felt toward Mark, so she continued to turn him down regardless of his persistence.
Roseanna realized it was best to move on, but John had yet to give up on her. He stopped over to see Roseanna several times a week, saying he’d changed, and always with the promise that he would never hurt her again. Roseanna couldn’t find it in her heart to trust him. He’d hurt her deeply, and she couldn’t let it happen again.
Her lips pressed together in a slight grimace. It would be much easier for me to move on if John would, too. Having him around makes me think about what we once had.
“We’re ready to go, Roseanna!” Mary called.
“Okay.” Roseanna pulled two of the sleds out of the shed. “Could you help me carry these to my buggy?”
“Of course.” Mary scooped up her sled, and Roseanna took Nancy Anne’s. Then they headed to the buggy.
As they turned onto the road, not far away from where they lived, Roseanna directed the horse to Mark’s home. She pulled into his driveway, and after halting the buggy, she climbed out and hurried to the front door. The snowflakes slowed, and it seemed as if time had almost stopped.
“Do you have a sled, Mark?” Roseanna called when he came out of the house.
“I do.”
“Good to hear. Would you like to go sledding with us?”
“Think I’d rather watch you enjoy the snow, so I don’t need to bring my sled along.”
“Oh, okay.” Roseanna couldn’t hide her disappointment.
Mark leaned over and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Don’t lose that beautiful smile of yours.”
Even though her face felt numb from the cold, the heat traveling to her cheeks seemed to remedy the feeling. Mark had a way with words, and she couldn’t help but smile whenever he said something nice about her.
Mark climbed into the buggy with them, and when they reached their destination, Roseanna’s siblings were quick to get out of the buggy and run up to the top of the hill, hollering all the way.
“So this is where you guys sled every year?” Mark helped Roseanna down and picked up her sled for her.
“Thank you. And yes, some of the other people from our community come here, too, this time of year. It’s kind of our designated place to sled.”
They walked up the hill together, giggling and bumping one another’s arm as their feet sank in the fresh-fallen snow. When they reached the top, a handful of people were already sliding down the hill to the edge of the road.
“Roseanna!” Samantha ran over, waving her arms above her head. “How are you doing today?”
“I wanted to do some sledding. Now that we’re here, I’m doing okay.”
“I can see that.” Samantha glanced at Mark and smiled. “How have you been, Mark?”
“Work has been keeping me busy. Fortunately, I’m able to make horseshoes quicker than most blacksmiths, so I take enjoyment from it.” Mark looked at Roseanna. “But I’m never too busy to see her.”
Roseanna gazed at him, noticing how the soft strands of black hair lying across Mark’s forehead contrasted with the pure white snowflakes. The way he laughed made Roseanna feel like there was nothing to worry about, that nothing else mattered.
I felt this way about John, too, didn’t I? Roseanna looked away from Mark. What is it going to take for me to move on? Why did John have to come back and mess with my emotions?
Her vision began to rock, like the time she went fishing with John on one of their first dates. Roseanna had bet him that she could stand while he paddled the boat back to the dock, but she ended up losing her balance and toppling over into the pond. When she surfaced, Roseanna started laughing, and John joined in as he pulled her out of the water.
“Roseanna? Are you okay?” Mark’s thick eyebrows drew together. “You’re awfully quiet, all of a sudden.”
“I’m fine, Mark. Really. Don’t worry about it.” Roseanna knocked her knuckles against the sled. “But I am going to need this if I want to go down the hill.”
Samantha snickered. “Good, because I was wondering how long you two lovebirds were going to stare at each other with adoration in your eyes. I’m feeling kinda envious.”
Roseanna’s face heated in a matter of seconds. “I’m sorry, Samantha. We’ll avoid doing that from now on.”
“No promises.” Mark winked.
Samantha told them she wanted to stay longer but needed to head home soon to go to a family gathering at her uncle’s place.
Once Samantha left, Roseanna took Mark’s gloved hand and hurried in the direction of where her siblings had gone. The ice from the ground cut into her arm a couple of times as she rode her sled down the hill. When Roseanna rolled up the sleeve to check her arm, she had only minor scrapes. It was hard to tell when most of her body was numb from the cold.
Roseanna headed up the hill, massaging the tender spot on her arm. She could see Mark near the top, his hands stuffed in his jacket pockets.
“What’s wrong with your arm, Roseanna? Did you hurt yourself?”
“No, I’m fine. I just—”
“Nancy Anne!”
As soon as she heard Mary’s shrill voice on the other side of the hill, Roseanna lunged forward, adrenaline rushing throughout her body. Nancy Anne was at the bottom of the hill with a vehicle heading straight toward her.
Roseanna shouted out to her, forgetting for the moment that Nancy Anne couldn’t hear anything. By the time Roseanna slid down the hill, it was too late. It all happened in a matter of moments, yet it seemed like everything around her had slowed down. Holding back the scream building in her throat, Roseanna fell to her knees beside her youngest sister.
“Nancy Anne, please, say something. Please.” Roseanna placed her hand on Nancy Anne’s forehead. Mary crouched beside her, shaking uncontrollably.
Adam came over and knelt next to Mary. “Oh no.” He looked at Roseanna with teary eyes.
“Is she okay, Roseanna? Please tell me she’ll be okay.”
Roseanna turned to Mary and glared. “Why?”
“Huh?”
“Why did you just stand there? You could’ve done something, Mary! Why weren’t you watching out for her?”
Adam stayed right where he was. “Let’s calm down, you guys. Our sister doesn’t need this right now.”
“I didn’t mean to! I just yelled, and… I…” Mary covered her face with her hands. “I’m so stupid.”
“No, you’re not.” Adam rested his gloved hand on Mary’s shoulder. “When the ambulance gets here, I’ll rush home with the buggy and let Mom and Dad know right away about Nancy Anne.”
“That would be a good idea.” Mary smiled briefly with tears clinging to her lashes. “Thank you, Adam.”
He nodded.
Roseanna wiped her cheeks with the collar of her jacket. As much as she fought the urge to sob, the tears kept trailing down her cheeks. “You’re not stupid, Mary.” She forced those words out, not wanting to upset her sister even more. Roseanna reminded herself that she had made many mistakes in the past. She’d always assumed she would be prepared for the worst. Obviously she wasn’t.
Nancy Anne’s petite body lay motionless, like a faceless doll. Roseanna was beyond keeping any sort of composure, yet she refused to let the sadness seep through. All she felt was anger toward herself for failing to protect Nancy Anne.
“An ambulance should arrive soon.” The person who owned the van approached. “I’m so sorry. I tried to stop, but the roads were slick, and the sled came out of nowhere.”
Roseanna said nothing. If she spoke, she might say something she would later regret.
“It isn’t your fault, Miss,” Mark spoke up. “She may have gotten out of the road faster if she’d heard you. You see, the girl
you hit is deaf, so that’s why she didn’t realize your van was heading her way.”
“Oh, that makes sense. I hit my horn, but she didn’t respond.” The woman’s voice trembled.
“Jah, and honestly, people like her shouldn’t be doing activities like this, anyway.”
The faint sound of a siren could be heard in the distance. Roseanna noticed Mary and Adam’s dissatisfied looks at Mark after his unjust comment.
Roseanna’s muscles quivered as she rose from the ground. “What are you saying, Mark?”
“I’m saying this wouldn’t have happened if your sister weren’t sledding in the first place—especially when she can’t hear anything.”
“Are you implying that she shouldn’t have a normal life?” Heat flashed through Roseanna’s body. At other times Mark had made negative comments about Nancy Anne’s disability, but because he’d shown a willingness to learn sign language, Roseanna had seen his critical comments simply as minor teasing.
“She has been causing you nothing but grief with her constant reliance on you, hasn’t she? What happened here is an example of that. Your sister could’ve stayed home and would have been safer there.”
“Nancy Anne does not cause us grief!” Roseanna’s voice shook. “She has done the opposite of that. She is encouraging, endearing, and courteous. Qualities that you seem to lack!”
Mark’s eyes flashed. “I’m not courteous? Do you not remember the many dates we went on? How much of a gentleman I was?” His nostrils flared. “I even learned sign language to communicate with her.”
“But you weren’t doing those things to be kind, were you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You were only trying to appease me the whole time. None of it was for her.”
“Roseanna—”
“I don’t want to hear your excuses, Mark.” She drew in a long breath.
Their quarreling ended because of the arrival of the ambulance. Roseanna was relieved when the EMTs on scene began checking Nancy Anne’s vitals. They asked Roseanna some questions about her injured sister and wanted her to come along for the support. Roseanna could help with communicating to Nancy Anne if she became conscious.