The False-Hearted Teddy

by John J. Lamb

“To sulk?”

  “Basically.”

  “Did any of the witnesses at breakfast say otherwise?”

  “At the time, we thought Tony was good for the murder, so we didn’t ask about Todd.”

  “So he could have grabbed the inhaler during the commotion while we were doing CPR.” I began tapping out the bass riff to the jazz-fusion classic, “Birdland,” with my middle finger on the desktop, a nervous habit of mine when I’m excited.

  “You still haven’t explained why you think Litten’s involved,” Mulvaney said.

  I pointed toward the purse. “For starters, I saw him reaching inside that thing yesterday afternoon—call it some time around one-thirty. I didn’t think it was significant at the time.”

  “Where’d this happen?”

  “Inside the Cheery Cherub Bears booth at the teddy bear show. Jennifer had her back turned to Todd and was trying to ignore him. My guess is, he lifted the card key then.”

  “I hope you have something more than that,” said Delcambre.

  “I do and it’s the classic wild card. Todd was in love with Jennifer.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “I chatted with him briefly last night at the cocktail reception and he thanked me for stopping Tony from clobbering Jen.”

  “You’re referring to the incident in the parking garage that morning?”

  “Yeah. And while we were talking he had this sad-puppy-dog-I-love-Jody-Foster-so-much-that-I’ll-shoot-the-president look and then he asked me why Jennifer stayed with Tony when he could give her a better life. From the way Todd was behaving, I thought they were having an affair.”

  “Were they?” asked Mulvaney.

  “My wife doesn’t think so, and I trust her judgment.”

  “But should we trust her judgment, considering she married you?” Delcambre deadpanned.

  “One little mistake and she’s tarred for life.”

  Mulvaney chopped at the air with her hand in frustration. “Can we please give the Marx Brothers routine a rest for just a couple of minutes? What are you trying to say, Lyon?”

  “The one thing we know about Jennifer is that she didn’t have any compunctions about using people. As far as she was concerned, they were nothing more than tools. So, what if she gently encouraged Todd to think there was a blossoming romance, when in fact, it was nothing more than a convenient scam?”

  “But why?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe she wanted to make Tony jealous. Maybe Todd actually was her boy toy. Maybe the guy writes a hell of a children’s book. Regardless of the reason, I think something happened to make Todd realize he’d been played for a fool. How did he react when you told him that Jennifer was dead?”

  “About the way you’d expect someone would when you tell them that a friend just died.” Delcambre rubbed his chin. “You know: The standard Oh-my-God-I-can’t-believe-it.”

  “And having been to more than a few death scenes as an EMT, he’d have the shocked reaction down pat. However, we now know Todd considered Jennifer far more than just a friend.” The phone trilled and I snatched up the receiver. “Homicide. Sergeant Delcambre speaking.”

  “Yes, this is Captain Darryl Gallagher. You asked me to call?” In the background, I could faintly hear voices from a TV. I listened more closely and recognized them as belonging to Joseph Cotten and Trevor Howard and realized I was missing The Third Man on Turner Classic Movies.

  “Yes, sir, thank you for calling back so quickly.”

  “Before I answer any questions, is Todd in trouble?”

  “No, sir, not at all. In fact, he did his best to save a woman’s life earlier this morning. You should be very proud of him.”

  “That’s not surprising. He’s one of our very best people. So, how can I help you?”

  “I just have a couple questions. Your department sponsored a community safety fair back in September and Todd was one of the presenters, right?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you remember what topic he covered?”

  “Of course. It was a class that he gave to a bunch of high school kids on the dangers of huffing inhalants. You know: spray-paint, toluene—”

  “And superglue?”

  “That would have been one of the chemicals. Sure.” In the background I could now hear a zither playing.

  “Did Todd have any special qualifications to teach that class?”

  “Absolutely. He’d taken a course at the State Fire Academy over in Lewistown and was nearly an expert on the subject.”

  “I think that’s all I need, so I’ll let you get back to your day. Thanks for everything, Captain Gallagher. Oh, and I almost forgot, should we send Todd’s letter of commendation to you or to the fire chief?”

  “The fire chief, definitely.”

  “And can you do me one more little favor?” I injected a large dose of warmth into my voice. “Please don’t call Todd and let him know that we’re doing this. He was really embarrassed and said he was just doing his duty when we told him what a great job he’d done. We’d like this to be a nice surprise.”

  Delcambre put his hand to his mouth and puffed his cheeks out, pretending he was on the verge of being violently ill, while Mulvaney shook her head in reluctant admiration. However, I wasn’t feeling particularly clever.

  “I sure won’t,” said Gallagher.

  “And again, thanks for your cooperation.” I hung up the receiver, slouched back into the chair, and massaged the bridge of my nose. “Just so that we’re all clear on this: I’m a freaking idiot. Earlier this morning, I Googled everybody involved in this mess. Among other things, that’s how I learned Donna Jordan is a high school chemistry teacher and I wrongly assumed that her specialized knowledge made her the logical suspect. However, while I jumped on that piece of information, I completely missed the real clue.”

  “Which is?” Mulvaney asked.

  “Litten is an Emergency Medical Technician, which means that along with all his other medical training he’d also be acquainted with—”

  “How inhalants work, too.” She finished the thought for me.

  “Exactly. And then, a couple of minutes ago, I remembered an article on the Internet about Litten that I’d seen on the local newspaper’s Web page. It said he gave a seminar at a community safety fair, but it didn’t mention the topic and I was way too interested in being brilliant and rushing to wrongly accuse an innocent woman of murder to bother to check my facts,” I said with a sigh.

  “And?”

  “And Litten took a specialized course on inhalants at the Pennsylvania State Fire Academy. He’s apparently an expert on aerated poisons.” I gave Mulvaney a chastened smile. “By the way, I sincerely apologize for acting so arrogantly. My performance in this investigation hasn’t been any better than yours. In fact, it’s been far worse, because I had more information to work with than you did, yet made the same errors. So, just say the word and I’ll happily excuse myself from anything else having to do with this inquiry.”

  It got so silent in the room I could hear the electric clock on the wall quietly humming and the distant grumble of traffic from outside. I reached for my cane and prepared to leave.

  As I pushed myself to my feet, Mulvaney said, “You may have been wrong and there’s no arguing the fact that you’re an utter know-it-all, but you’ve gotten us this far. What would you recommend we do now?”

  I discovered that I’d been holding my breath. Relaxing, I replied, “A couple of things. First, did your front desk really receive an anonymous call? If so, was it a male or female voice?”

  “Male,” said Delcambre.

  “And the call wasn’t made to nine-one-one, where the phone number would have shown up on the caller ID screen and been recorded. What does that suggest?”

  “That the informant didn’t want us to know his identity—”

  “And that he was someone acquainted with how an emergency dispatch center operates,” Mulvaney cut in.

  I nodded. “And a fire depart
ment paramedic like Todd would have that knowledge. Sorry for suggesting you made the story up about the anonymous reporting party.”

  “I can’t wait to get my hands on that little weasel,” said Mulvaney.

  “And charge him with what? We’ve got nothing on him, LT,” I said.

  “So, what’s the plan?” asked Delcambre.

  “We have to talk to Tony. We need an inside look at how Jennifer viewed her relationship with Todd and what was going on behind the scenes before the show.”

  “But, I told you. He invoked his rights, so we can’t talk to him,” said Mulvaney.

  “Of course we can talk to him. Miranda doesn’t mean we can’t continue to ask him questions. It just means we can’t use his answers against him. Once he understands we’re giving him the opportunity to shove the blame onto Todd, believe me, Tony will talk.”

  “I see what you’re saying, but don’t we have to release him?”

  “Not immediately. The inhaler you found in his room is enough to hold him for now.”

  “But Todd—”

  “Is probably the killer. But all we’ve got at the moment is an interesting theory and some suspicious circs. There isn’t a shred of proof to implicate Todd. However, you have solid physical evidence that, at least at face value, shows that Tony is the murderer. Correct?”

  “That’s true.”

  “And it’s merely our mean-spirited cop opinions that he lacks the G-2 to pull off such a complicated crime,” I said, using the old U.S. army term for military intelligence.

  “So, we’re under no lawful obligation to release him yet,” Delcambre said.

  “Give the man a cigar. We hang onto Tony for now because we need a twist on him. When I’m done, you can show him the door.”

  “But I’m not comfortable with you interviewing him,” said Mulvaney.

  “I’m not comfortable with it either. The guy hates my guts and if I don’t remember to move my hands frequently, there’s the chance he’ll eat one. But, it has to be me, because we’re running out of time and I’m the only one who knows the questions that have to be asked.”

  “Even if that’s true, you don’t have any authority to interrogate him.”

  “Who says?”

  “Our department rules and regulations—”

  “Which aren’t the same thing as statutory and case law and, like all regulations, are probably too rigid when a situation goes fluid like this.” I glanced at my watch. “Look, for the past hour or so, I’ve been acting as your de facto agent and you can’t un-ring that bell. It’s going to come out at trial, regardless of who’s charged with murder. So, type up something formalizing my role in the investigation. I’ll sign it and that will keep everything legal.”

  We heard footfalls and a moment later, a desk sergeant stuck his head through the doorway. “Lieutenant Mulvaney? We’ve got a bunch of TV crews and newspaper people starting to set up camp in the lobby, saying there’s going to be a big press conference. It’s the first I’ve heard of it.”

  “Sorry, Carl. I’ve been jammed here. I’ll come out in a second to update you.”

  “Thanks. I’ll be in the watch commander’s office.”

  Once the desk sergeant was gone, Mulvaney said, “You’re right, we’re running out of time, so I don’t have any choice. You can do the interview, but I’m going to be in there with you, while Delcambre monitors the video from the AV room.”

  “Absolutely. I want to upset Tony’s equilibrium, and you being there will do just that.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you scare him. Unlike his wife, you’re a woman that would not only fight back, you’d kick his butt. However, I want your promise not to interrupt because I’m liable to say some things that aren’t quite orthodox.”

  “Imagine my surprise at hearing that,” Mulvaney said with a sigh.

  I opened the envelope containing Tony’s property, peered inside, and took out the wrinkled bag of peanut butter M&M’s.

  Delcambre looked nauseous. “Please don’t tell me you’re going to eat those.”

  “No.” I tossed the candy into the air and caught it. “If you’re going fishing, you need bait.”

  Sixteen

  While Delcambre went back to the holding cell to get Tony and Mulvaney briefed the watch commander on what was happening, I used the phone to make a quick call to Ash. When she answered, I was relieved to hear the buzz of many voices in the background. It meant that she was back down at the teddy bear show.

  “You’re still at the police station, aren’t you?” she asked.

  “There’s a déjà vu moment. How many years have you been asking that question, my love?”

  “Twenty-six. I thought it was going to stop once you retired from SFPD and became a teddy bear artist.”

  “It would have, if I hadn’t been promoted to Chief of Fur-ensics.”

  Ash groaned.

  “I take it the reporters are gone?” I asked.

  “They took off out of here about a half-hour ago.”

  “And does everyone there believe I killed Jennifer?”

  “Nobody knows what to think…except for your special friend, Lisa. She came by our table a little while ago to offer her support.”

  “Oh, no.”

  “Oh, yes.” Ash began to mimic Lisa’s syrupy voice and I winced. “Gee, Mrs. Lyon, I’m surprised that you aren’t at the police station trying to help your husband. When you see Brad, please tell him that I don’t believe he killed anybody.”

  “I’m stunned the cops weren’t called back out there to investigate another murder.”

  “No, because that’s exactly the response she wanted. So, even though I wanted to break her bones in alphabetical order, I stayed cool.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes, I did, and I’m proud of myself.” Ash sounded tranquil. “I just smiled and told her that I was certain the foremost thing on your mind at the moment was some tramp’s opinion of you.”

  “That must have left a mark.”

  “Nope, she just gave me a nasty little smile and strolled off. So, when are you coming back here?”

  “Soon.”

  “Brad honey, that word has no meaning when you use it.”

  “I know, but we’re on the verge of breaking this case and I need to ask you a question: have you seen any sign of Todd?”

  “He’s down at the Cheery Cherub Bears booth. Why?”

  “I don’t have time to explain all the details, but it’s looking more and more as if he’s the real killer. When did he show up?”

  “About a half-hour ago. It looked like he made some sort of little memorial speech and now there’s a crowd of people around the booth—”

  “And the bears are flying off the shelves faster than plywood panels just before a hurricane, right?”

  “How did you know?”

  “With Jennifer dead, it’s the last bunch of angel bears she actually made. They’ve become instant collector’s items.”

  “God, I hadn’t looked at it that way,” Ash said, the distaste palpable in her voice.

  “That’s because you’re like most bear collectors. You buy them because you love them, not for their investment value.”

  “So, why did Todd kill her?”

  “I don’t know yet, but more than likely it has something to do with Jennifer’s proclivity for shivving people who made the mistake of thinking they were her friend.”

  “Which also means he planted the evidence in our room. Why?”

  “One unsolvable problem at a time, my love.”

  “What do you want me to do? Should I keep an eye on Todd?” she asked eagerly.

  “No. Stay the hell away from him,” I said, sounding far gruffer than I intended. At the risk of sounding like some overdramatic young teenager in the throes of puppy love, I couldn’t envision life without her.

  There was perhaps a moment’s worth of silence. Finally, Ash said, “I promise not to go near him, darling.”

  “
Thank you, and I’m sorry for snapping at you. But it’s the ‘nice guys’ like Todd who have the potential to be extremely dangerous—Cody Jarrett-top-of-the-world-Ma dangerous,” I said, alluding to James Cagney’s masterpiece performance as a mad-dog killer in the old film, White Heat. “They figure they’re trapped and already going down for murder, so there’s no point in worrying about the final body count.”

  “I’ll stay away from him. But do you want me to call you if he leaves?”

  “Yeah, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he’s intelligent enough to realize that he’ll attract suspicion if he suddenly bails. And, don’t ask me why, I also have a feeling he won’t leave until after the award ceremony this evening.”

  Ash was perplexed. “What does the award ceremony have to do with anything?”

  “With Tony in jail and Jennifer in the morgue, Todd’s the only member of the Cheery Cherub Bears team available to accept Jen’s posthumous trophy for best bear in the costumed, five-to-fourteen inch category…and you know that’s exactly what the judges are going to do.”

  “He’d stay for a trophy? That’s crazy.”

  “Maybe, but he was in love with Jennifer and if he had to keep that a secret from everybody while she was alive…”

  “He can pretend they’re together now? Even if he hadn’t killed her, that’s just sick.”

  “Yeah, but it’ll play well to people who, unlike us, don’t routinely expect the worst from other folks.” From out in the detective bureau, I could hear the muffled sound of Tony’s protests as he was led into the interview room. I said, “Look honey, I’ve got to go now. I love you and I’ll be there soon.”

  “There’s that word again. Love you, too.”

  A sudden thought struck me. “Wait, wait…don’t hang up. Are you still there?”

  “I’m still here. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing is wrong. I just want you to check your leather satchel and see if you still have your card key to our room.”

  “I’m going to have to put the phone down to look. Hold on a second.” I heard Ash unzip the black bag and in the background I could hear the happy sounds of the teddy bear show that I was missing. She came back on the line. “Yes, it’s right here.”