Lily's Mirage (Hell Yeah! )

by Sable Hunter

  “No, no doctor.” She’d seen enough doctors to last a lifetime. “I’d just like to lie down a bit.”

  Blade escorted Lily to the Jeep and when they arrived at the dock, he helped her onto the boat. The trip back to the private island was made quickly. Blade arranged for Seba to return the next day, same time, with a promise to pay his fee if they chose not to go sightseeing again. When he helped Lily from the boat and onto dry land, he couldn’t hold back his concern. “Any better? Anything I can do?”

  “I’ll be good,” she mumbled, very aware that her heart was beating at a faster rate than it should’ve been.

  “Oh, no doubt of that,” he teased tenderly, leading Lily back to the house. As they neared the front verandah, Blade noticed the bottle trees and the mirror. “I wonder if we’ll receive another visit from our resident spirit tonight.”

  “I don’t know,” Lily mused. “I’m not afraid of her. She has a very sad history, now she spends eternity looking for her lost love.”

  Drawing her close, Blade wrapped his arms more tightly around her. “I’m glad I don’t have to keep looking for mine, the day our paths crossed was the luckiest day of my life. Lily…”

  “Don’t.”

  Lily’s heart was thudding in her chest like a bass drum. “No, please…”

  Blade didn’t know what to think. “What’s wrong?”

  “We can’t.” She backed away from him. “I can’t…”

  Reeling with panic, Lily turned and ran toward the beach.

  Blade stood still for a few moments in shock, before he took off after her. “Lily? Lily? Stop! What’s wrong?”

  Lily was crying. Sobbing. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Running blindly, she fled through the trees and out onto the open sand. Her breath was coming in harsh gasps, tears were streaming down her face. “I hate this!” She stopped at the very edge of the ocean, the waves lapping at her feet. “Why?” she screamed at the dying sun. “What did I ever do to deserve this?”

  Blade caught up with her, his hand going out to grasp her arm. “Lily? What did I do?” He didn’t understand. “I thought…”

  Lily tore away from his touch, almost as if his hand burned her skin. “You didn’t know. I couldn’t tell you. I was a fool. I did this, I thought I could be with you and neither one of us would get hurt. I’m so sorry.”

  She broke down and began to cry in earnest and Blade could no more help taking her in his arms than he could cease breathing. “I don’t understand. What are you talking about?” Fear began coiling through his gut. “There’s someone else?”

  The anguish is his voice pricked Lily’s soul. She should lie. This would be an easy out, he would be angry but not devastated. They both could move on, he with the rest of his life, and her…

  She couldn’t. The falsehood wouldn’t rise on her tongue. “No,” she protested weakly, sinking to her knees. “There’s no one else.”

  “Do you dislike me so much?”

  This question ripped into her with sharp talons. How could he think that after everything they’d shared? “I like you too much,” she cried, her head bowed in grief.

  Blade picked her up and began striding back toward the house, kissing her face with every step. “Just tell me what’s wrong. I can fix this.”

  Lily clung to him, her heart breaking in two. “No, you can’t fix this, no one can.”

  “Hush, let’s get back inside. I’ll get you something to drink and you can tell me what’s bothering you.”

  Burying her head in the curve of his neck, Lily cried. She couldn’t stop crying. For the first time, what she was losing hit home with a vengeance. Now, she knew the full extent of her tragedy. Now, she knew exactly what she’d be forfeiting.

  When he mounted the steps to the cottage, Blade didn’t relinquish his hold on her to open the door. He settled Lily on his raised knee and steadied her with one hand while turning the knob with the other. She held him tightly, her every thought in turmoil. “I never intended for you to know.”

  Blade carried her inside and sat down on the couch with Lily in his lap. “Before I ask what you meant, let me say something. You didn’t let me finish what I was about to tell you.”

  Lily put three fingers to his lip, sealing them shut. “There’s no need.”

  He gently pulled her hand away and held it in his own. “There’s every need.” He kissed her palm. “Before I met you, my life revolved around the pain of losing my daughter. I hated the world. I hated my career. Even going home to my ranch held no joy. I’d lost all the light in my life.” He kissed her hand again. “You changed all that, Lily. I found the light again and it’s you.”

  Closing her eyes, she fought to contain the agony shooting through her chest. She didn’t know what a heart attack felt like, but surely it could be no more painful than this. “Please, Blade, stop.”

  She pushed from his embrace and Blade let her go. “Why? Tell me you don’t feel what I feel. If that’s true, just tell me.”

  “I can’t,” she whispered, standing up and moving in front of the cold hearth. “I didn’t intend to lead you on.” She placed her hands on the rock fireplace. “You weren’t supposed to be here.”

  “Fate, kitten.” Blade came to her. “Some things are just meant to be.” He placed his hands on her shoulders. “This is no vacation fling, no matter what you call it.” Blade pushed her hair to one side and brushed his lips across the soft skin of her neck. “I know you weren’t expecting this and neither was I, but it’s here. It’s real. I think I’m falling…”

  “No!” She whirled around in his arms. “Please don’t say it. Please don’t.”

  “Why?” Blade asked, his voice full of despair. “I have to say it. I’m consumed with how I feel about you. You’re in my every thought!”

  Lily curled her arms around herself, a vain attempt to stave off the chill in her soul, the ache in her heart. “Blade, you’re torturing me. You’re offering me my heart’s greatest desire, but one I can never have.”

  Blade wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on the top of her hair. “Just tell me, baby. You’re scaring me. What are you talking about?”

  Lily closed her eyes, absorbing strength from his powerful form. “I’m sick,” she whispered. “I have a glioblastoma, it’s inoperable. I’m not going to live much longer.”

  Pain lanced through Blade, no less real than if a sword had pierced his heart. His whole body went cold. “What did you say?”

  Lily closed her eyes, hating the very words she had to say. She was hurting him and this was what she’d dreaded most of all. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you sooner.”

  “A glioblastoma?”

  “A brain tumor. Malignant.” Her words were so soft, they were barely audible.

  “No, don’t tell me that.” Blade’s voice quaked. “It can’t be true.” Unsteady on his feet, Blade raised a hand and raked it through his hair. “No. No. No.”

  Without a word, he turned and walked out, leaving Lily to stand there all alone.

  Out of the room and out the door Blade walked, unseeing, a lump in his throat as big as a baseball. The very idea that Lily was sick was more than he could bear. How could this be? She was so beautiful, so perfect. To think this world might miss out on her being in it was beyond his comprehension. As he strode across the beach, it wasn’t his life flashing before his eyes, it was what he’d been imagining his future to be – with her.

  He wanted more days like the one they’d spent today. He wanted to wake up with her in his arms tens of thousands of times. He wanted anniversaries.

  He wanted more time with Lily.

  Facing the raging tide, Blade let the wind coming off the water hit him in the face. The ocean spray mixed with the tears rolling down his cheeks.

  “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” He raged, raising his hand to the sky, bellowing to the heavens. “This isn’t fuckin’ fair!”

  There had to be something he could do, someone who could help. He refused to think that
his time with her would be anything less than a lifetime.

  Scrubbing the palm of his hand over his face, Blade turned back toward the house. He had questions and he needed answers, but even more than answers – he needed to hold Lily in his arms.

  6

  Throwing her belongings into a suitcase, all Lily wanted to do was escape. She’d made such a horrible mess of things. Blade was a wonderful person and she’d hurt him. She wouldn’t blame him if he hated her. He might even think she’d used him. This wasn’t true, she’d never intended for them to… “Oh, hell. I love him. What am I going to do?”

  “Where the heck do you think you’re going?”

  Lily frantically wiped her face, uncertain if he’d heard what she said. “I don’t know. I don’t have anywhere to go, not unless I swim.”

  “In my arms is where you belong.” Blade came to her, going to his knees to gather her close, pressing his head right below her breasts. “I apologize for walking off. I just needed a minute. I couldn’t breathe when you…”

  “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before, I know it was wrong.”

  “Doesn’t matter, I know now.” He kissed her right over her heart. “I’m so sorry. I’d rather there be something wrong with me instead of you.”

  “Don’t say that, I wouldn’t wish this on anybody, much less you.” She tugged on him until he rose and joined her on the bed. Lily could tell he was upset. “It’s all right.”

  Blade scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re comforting me?” He picked up her hand, kissing the palm gently. “I want to know everything. What do the doctors say? Are you getting treatment? Why are you here and not in the hospital?”

  Lily smiled sadly. “So many questions.” She wove her fingers with his. “This is something I’ve dealt with since before my parents died. The first time, I underwent surgery. I was clear for a few years, but it came back. The second time, I took chemo and radiation. Again, I was cancer free for a few years. When it returned this time, the doctors have said there is nothing more they can do. I’m not undergoing any treatment.” She smiled at him sadly. “I’m just trying to live what time I have left.”

  “Unacceptable.” Blade was holding it together, he didn’t let on how her revelations crucified him. There was still more he needed to know. “As long as there’s life, there’s hope, that’s what I’ve always heard. You don’t look sick.” He leaned in to kiss her. “You don’t act sick…unless that dizzy spell…”

  His look of agonized concern cleaved her heart in half. “Stop.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “There’s no need. I don’t know if it was related or not. I don’t really want to know. I’d rather just enjoy every day and not dwell on what’s coming.”

  Blade swallowed, trying to weigh his words. “You have to. Let’s leave here and let me help you find a specialist, there’s got to be one somewhere you haven’t talked to, some program…some research.”

  Lily touched his face, tracing the track of a tear that had run down his cheek. “You sound like Flora. She has a friend of hers searching now. I don’t expect them to find anything. I’ve been under a doctor’s care for years and if there was something to be done, they would’ve told me.”

  He kissed her palm again. “I should’ve told you this, but I didn’t want you to leave when we were teasing one another about who would stay here. Isaiah left a satellite phone. We can go anytime you get ready. If I’d known you were sick…”

  Lily raised her arms to his shoulders and embraced him. “I’ll understand if you want me to leave or if you want to go.”

  “I’d stay here with you forever, kitten, if we could,” he whispered against her neck. “Every cell in my body is screaming for action. I want to throw you over my shoulder and run for help, like we’re escaping a deadly fire or an explosion.”

  “Stay with me, just a few more days. I know we both have our own lives, but being here with you like this is such an unexpected miracle.”

  Blade pulled her down on the bed with him, until she was lying half on his body, his arm around her. “I’ll not only stay here, this isn’t over when we leave.” Lily tried to raise up, but he held her fast. “This isn’t up for discussion. The only way I’ll leave you now is if you don’t want me around.”

  Lily soothed her hand over his chest. “Why, Blade? There’s no future…”

  He grasped her tightly. “Don’t say that. I’ve just found you, I’m not about to give you up so soon.”

  “This has been so wild, so wonderful, so unexpected.” She closed her eyes, the events of the past few days rushing through her head. “I should’ve told you from the beginning. It’s just hard, you know? I don’t know how to do it. Saying something like, ‘Hello, I’m Lily Bastien and I have a brain tumor. I’m only temporary, so pay me no mind’, sounds so pathetic.”

  Blade didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Are you kidding?” He kissed her eyelids and stroked her cheek tenderly. “I wouldn’t have missed this for the world. Your value to me is not in the amount of time we have together, the value is in knowing you at all.”

  Lily clutched her fingers in his shirt, pressing her face to his chest. She wanted to scream at the despair she felt. “I came here to come to terms with things, to live a little, enjoy the sunshine and the ocean…” Her voice grew quiet. “And then, there you were. And you were so infuriatingly wonderful.” His chest rumbled beneath her cheek as he laughed. “It’s so hard to be grateful for this, when all I’m doing is worrying because I can’t have it for always.”

  “Let’s fight for always and be grateful for each day that comes.” He knew he sounded like a damn Hallmark card, but that was how he felt. Blade tilted up her face and looked in her big, beautiful eyes. “How do you feel? Are you in pain?”

  She smiled, shaking her head. “No, no pain. Just a hopeless dread, a longing to wake up and realize this is all a bad dream.”

  He gathered her hair in his fist, stroking the strands through his fingers. “I have a proposition for you.” He swallowed, forcing a smile. “Let’s stay here together for the time we had originally planned. After that, I want to see you again. I want to…”

  She covered his mouth with hers, kissing him tenderly. “A few more days would be wonderful, but let’s don’t look beyond that. I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.”

  “Shhhh,” he said, running his finger over her bottom lip. “Don’t you worry about me. Being with you could never hurt me, walking away from you, that’s what would hurt.”

  Lily pinched her lips together, trying not to cry. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  “Oh, honey, you don’t have anything to be sorry about.” He cupped her face, placing a chaste kiss on her forehead. “Let’s take this one day at a time. I just want to be with you right now, I need to be with you.”

  “Okay.” One simple word, but her acquiescence was more than agreement, it was surrender.

  “I want to take care of you.” Blade rose from the bed and picked her up, taking Lily to the bathroom. He sat her on the vanity and flipped on the shower.

  Lily reached out with her foot and skimmed it down the back of his leg. “I might be about to kick the bucket, Jensen, but I feel great. I don’t need babying.”

  “Hush.” Blade turned, his eyes twinkling and began to unbutton her shirt. “I’m not babying you because of your…” He cleared his throat, swallowing, then gave her a brave smile. “I’m pampering you because you deserve it and I enjoy it – very much.”

  While the water heated, he sat her on her feet, and they undressed one another slowly. When they were deliciously naked, she took a step closer to him and he cradled her in his arms to kiss her.

  With no more secrets between them, every touch seemed sweeter, every sensation more pronounced. His lips were so masculine, warm, and firm. He tantalized her, rubbing them over hers, his tongue teasing the corners of her mouth. Her hands came to his waist, skimming up and over his ribs, making him growl. When she giggled, he gras
ped her hair, pulling her head back and smothered her face with kisses. Lily loved it when he took control, she reveled in his possession as he licked and sucked on her lips, taking sensual forays to nuzzle her neck before returning to her mouth for more. “I think the water’s hot,” she told him.

  “The water’s not the only thing.”

  He picked her up and she clung to him, wrapping her legs around his waist. His rock-hard erection was nestled between them. Stepping under the warm spray, he pressed her up against the wall. Lily was on fire, her breasts were tingling, her feminine core was hot and aching. His reassuring weight against her was sexy enough to make her weak.

  “You’re so beautiful, kitten. I love being with you more than anything.” Blade soothed his hands from her hips up to cup her breasts, molding and kneading them in his palms, his thumbs rubbing the nipples until they were hard, throbbing points.

  Lily put all the darkness out of her mind and just concentrated on the man in front of her. He was magnificent, his chest and shoulders were so broad, she had to stretch her arms out to touch each bicep. She rubbed her face on the light furring of golden hair on his chest. His heart was pounding so hard it made hers skip a beat. “I want to forget everything, but you.” She reached between his legs to stroke his cock. He was a handful – so thick and long, hot to the touch. So alive.

  “Mmmm,” he moaned as she jacked him up and down, his hips bucking forward for more of her touch. Unable to resist, he cupped her mound, playing with her pussy, slipping two fingers into her slit from her channel to her clit. Rubbing. Rubbing. Back and forth. “So sweet,” he murmured as she writhed beneath his touch, the pink folds of her sex flowering, the sensitive button of her desire swelling from beneath its hood.

  “Blade, please,” she begged, “Don’t make me wait.”

  “Never.” Sealing his mouth to hers, Blade picked her up so she could clasp her legs around his waist. “Put me in,” he whispered as his mouth slid to the tender flesh beneath her ear.

  Lily’s clit tightened and tingled as she guided him to the entrance of her pussy. His cock was as hard and big as the man himself. Little by little, he worked his way in, Lily was keenly aware she was being claimed.