Grace squeezed her eyes shut, lowered her head, and pressed into her brow with her index finger and thumb. Phillip didn’t think it was a good sign.
He held up the plastic bag containing the broken wire and remains of the beads he could find and cleared his throat to continue. “I did manage to recover this many, but it’s not enough to make a whole halo again. I need you to go shopping with me. I have no idea where to find this stuff.”
“Those are Indian beads, and they’re only available in select craft shops and specialty bead stores. But even of the few stores in town that actually carry a good selection of Indian beads, there is no way in the world you’re ever going to match up fifty-year-old beads. There’s dye lots to consider, and I know they’re glass, but they might have faded with age, too.”
“I thought of that. But certainly we can buy beads that are colored so they look fifty years old. All we have to do is match the color, and no one will know the difference, right? I already looked on-line, but I can’t get an accurate match because every monitor has a default color setting of its own from the manufacturer, and every brand is different. Besides, I don’t have the time to wait for shipping and then risk the chance it doesn’t match and having to go through it all again. Thanksgiving is tomorrow, and the Christmas shopping rush has already begun. I have to do this in person.”
“This is Wednesday. Nothing is open tonight. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and Friday not every place will be open. The major stores will soon be staying open late every night until Christmas, but I’m not sure about specialty shops like that, because they’re not holiday driven. I think the only thing we can do is go shopping Saturday. That means we’ll have to postpone our skating day for another weekend. By the way, what did Neil say?”
Phillip broke out into a wide grin. “He was really surprised that you suggested skating. But I think he was even more surprised about the batteries.”
Grace also broke out into a grin. “I wish I could have seen his face.”
A small chuckle escaped him. “I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard. It was like he went into shock.”
“But do you think he took the hint? We weren’t exactly subtle.”
“Don’t give me this ‘we’ stuff, Grace. It was your idea, not mine. All I did was show you how to open it. You’re the one who hid the batteries.”
“You know what I meant. Will it make a difference?”
Phillip opened his mouth, but instead of his voice, the only sound in the room was his grumbling stomach.
The heat of his blush spread from his neck to his forehead. He pressed both hands into his stomach. “Oops. Excuse me.”
“I guess I don’t have to ask if you’ve had supper. I don’t mind making you a sandwich. I made a roast beef for supper, and there’s always more than I can eat by myself. It’s a pleasure not to waste it.”
Before he could pretend to protest, Grace turned and walked into the kitchen, so he followed.
Rather than sit down at the table and wait for her to serve him, Phillip stood beside Grace as she opened the freezer to bring out a bag of buns. “I feel strange not doing anything. I didn’t come here so you could feed me, although I won’t complain. Your cooking is bound to be better than mine. I know it’s got to be better than Neil’s. You wouldn’t believe some of the things he tries to pass off as edible.”
He paused, expecting and even anticipating Grace to make a sarcastic remark about the two of them trying to put to-gether a decent meal, especially since she had to know the disaster Neil could be in the kitchen. Instead, she stopped slicing the meat and lowered her head.
Her voice came out so quiet he could barely hear her, even though they were side-by-side. “I wouldn’t care if the meals were less than perfect. It’s better than eating alone every day.”
Despite the fragrance of the bun just out of the microwave and the mouthwatering aroma of the warm, freshly sliced roast beef in front of him, Phillip’s appetite disappeared. While Neil wasn’t family, and living with Neil was far from living with the perfect wife, Phillip was never truly alone. He’d never really been alone.
After he graduated from high school, he and Neil decided to live on campus while attending college and, as best friends, they had roomed together. When they graduated from college, it had only been natural that they continue their living arrangements. Both of them had found jobs immediately, so they rented a house together and had been sharing the same house ever since.
Over the years they had settled into a comfortable routine. Some days they barely saw each other except for the morning rush over the coffeepot and getting out the door on time for work. Other days they spent the evening together in the living room. Most days, though, despite plans and activities, they at least ate supper together.
The bottom line was that no matter what their schedules were like and whether they did anything together over the course of a day or not, they were always there for each other, even if, at times, it only meant sleeping under the same roof. He always had someone to turn to when he needed a friend, and likewise, so did Neil.
He didn’t know much about Grace’s background, only that her parents lived in a small town not too far away. Still, it wasn’t close enough that Grace saw them very often. In order to find a job, Grace had moved out of her parents’ home and away from all her childhood friends to live in the city with her sister about five years ago. That had lasted about a year, until her sister announced her pending engagement. Grace moved out on her own and had been living alone ever since.
Even though Neil sometimes drove him nuts, he could well imagine how lonely it could be to live alone. Thinking of Grace being lonely drove a knife through his heart. He didn’t want her to be lonely or sad. The sadness in Grace’s voice made him want to reach out and touch her, to wind his fingers in her soft, flowing hair, to hold her in his arms and rest her head against his heart and take the pain out of her big, brown eyes.
But he didn’t have that right. Whatever rights he could claim were those of a friend—and a friend only. The way he wanted to hold her was more than simple friendship. Much more.
Phillip rammed his hands in his pockets. “Neil may be a rotten cook, and I’m not much better, but if you’re willing to take the chance, you’re more than welcome to join us every once in awhile. In fact, I’d welcome the chance to eat a decent meal now and then. Just be warned. We’d expect you to take your turn at doing dishes.”
Her weak smile drove the knife in a little deeper.
“Thank you. I didn’t mean to sound like such a sad sack, but I might just take you up on that, although you may not want me. I’m not a very good cook either.”
He tried to smile, but he knew he looked as lame as he felt. “Then the three of us would be in good company together.”
“Here’s your sandwich.”
“Thanks.”
Because Grace wasn’t eating, Phillip closed his eyes for a couple of seconds of silent prayer, then took a big, big bite. He paused mid-chew to savor the flavor. Instead of using a processed cheese slice, Grace had tucked some fresh cheese inside, which between the heated bun and the warm meat had become delightfully soft but not melted. It would have been polite to make small talk while he ate, but the best he could do was to grunt his responses between bites.
Adding fresh cheese was nothing he hadn’t done before, but this was the best sandwich he’d tasted in his life. The reason was because Grace had made it, and she’d made it just for him.
And with that thought, Phillip knew he was in big trouble.
He couldn’t help it. When he was done the last bite, he let out a rather contented sigh. “That was great. Thank you, Grace.”
She smiled so sweetly, he felt as soft and mushy as the cheese he’d just eaten.
She looked down for a second to check her watch. “I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s time to leave for my Bible study meeting. I guess you know that Neil had to work late tonight, so he can’t come. I don’t know which gro
up you usually go to, but if you want, you’re welcome to come with me. Just pretend you’re Neil.”
At the word “pretend,” Phillip’s world shifted.
For the past week, maybe more, that was exactly what he had been doing.
Pretending.
He’d been pretending that he could be friends with Grace, and he wasn’t good at pretending. He wanted more than mere friendship. Much more. But he couldn’t do more, because that was up to Neil.
If he was going to pretend to be Neil, then he would do what he suspected Neil wasn’t doing, and that would be to put all else aside and spend more time with Grace. Already, her hurts were becoming his hurts, and he was starting to go to ridiculous lengths to make her smile when he thought she needed it.
There had been a few serious girlfriends in Phillip’s life, but lately he’d been experiencing something that had never happened before. When he wasn’t with Grace, he missed her. He was no longer content to simply wait until the weekend when he would see her in church, at a distance. He wanted to be with her, and not only to spend time in the same room with her—he wanted to touch her and cherish her and make her happy to be with him, too.
That would be the way it was if he were Neil, but he wasn’t Neil, nor could he pretend to be. Of course he knew Grace had only been joking, but Grace’s significance in his life was no longer a joking matter.
To pretend to be Neil would be wrong. He needed to do the opposite—to spend less time with Grace. He had to step back to let Neil spend more time with her. Once already he had decided not to spend so much time with her, but all it took was for her to show up on his doorstep, and all his good intentions flew out the window.
As time went on, the more he saw Neil and Grace together, the less he could figure out their relationship or their level of commitment to each other. However, if they were happy to-gether, it was not his place to judge.
The only solution could be that, after tonight, he wouldn’t see Grace anymore. Otherwise, he was only setting himself up for future heartbreak.
“Come on, Phil. We should go now.”
He opened his mouth to tell her he’d changed his mind, but the warmth in her big, brown eyes stopped him. He couldn’t risk that he’d hurt her feelings when he was unable to explain his reasons for not going when he’d already said he would.
Therefore, after tonight, he wouldn’t see her again.
Rather than reply, he followed her to the door, where they put their coats and boots on.
Grace carefully locked the door, and they made their way down the hall toward the elevator. “Oh, about Saturday. I think Neil wants to go back to that coffeehouse. We both had a really nice time. Why don’t you pick me up after lunch? We’ll go to a few places to find the right beads, and then all three of us can do something for supper together. Then Neil won’t have to pick me up. I’ll already be at your house when it’s time to go to the coffeehouse. If you want to come, I’m sure Neil would like that. I can even ask June if she wants to come again. I know she had a good time.”
For some reason, the movement of the elevator set off the delicious sandwich he’d just eaten, something that had never happened to him before. At the same time, he’d also suffered significant memory loss. The reason he’d come to see Grace today was to do something about the missing beads. Already, he’d forgotten that they had made plans to go shopping together.
He couldn’t avoid doing the shopping, but he didn’t have to sit at the same table with Neil and Grace on Saturday night and watch them hold hands and stare into each other’s eyes. Even though he hadn’t witnessed such behavior yet, there was nothing to say that it wouldn’t start on Saturday night. If it did, he couldn’t take it. “Sorry, Grace. I think I’m going to pass this time. I have something else I’m going to be doing Saturday night.”
“Oh. Okay.”
Phillip gritted his teeth as he held the elevator door open for Grace to exit ahead of him.
The only thing he knew he would be doing on Saturday night was sitting home alone, stewing, because she was going to be out with Neil.
He was no longer sure he liked the idea.
Phillip shook his head.
For now, they were going to the Bible study. For the rest of the night, he was going to put thoughts of Grace and Neil out of his head.
Maybe.
eleven
Grace placed the two beads on the counter side by side. This was the third craft store they’d tried, and the last on her list, but this time, it appeared they were successful. “I think this is the best match we’re going to get, Phil. It’s not exact, but the variance is so slight that I don’t think anyone would notice.”
Phil’s expression was almost comical as he studied the two beads. “I can see the difference. The new ones are a bit lighter, but I think you’re right. If they’re not side-by-side, no one would be able to see they’re not the same. Besides, Dale is going to be on top of the tree. No one is going to be studying the color variations of the halo, not even Granny.”
Grace stepped back and Phil raised his head toward the clerk. “We’ll take them,” he said. “And a spool of that wire.”
He reached into his pocket for his wallet and opened it while the clerk scooped the beads back into the plastic tube and rang up the sale. When the clerk told him the total price, his eyebrows went up, he tucked his credit card back into his wallet, and paid with cash.
When the door closed behind them and they were out of the store, he turned to her. “I can’t believe that’s all they cost. I was expecting to pay much more.”
Grace shrugged her shoulders. “It’s only a tube of beads. They’re not expensive, really. They’re just hard to find unless you know where to look.”
“Which, of course, you did. Thanks, Grace. I don’t know what I would have done without you this time and every other time something happened to poor Dale. You’ve been my knight in shining armor through this whole fiasco.”
“I don’t think there is such a thing as a female knight. Female angels, yes, but not knights.”
His little lopsided grin did strange things to her stomach. “I don’t think I want to go there.”
She couldn’t help but grin back, not because Phil’s grin was doing funny things to her insides, but because his grin only added to the charm of the rest of the day. She didn’t particularly like shopping, but shopping with Phil had become an experience like no other.
Not many men hung out at the local craft shops. The few she’d seen today were very obviously with their wives, either there to watch children while their wives selected the items needed, or they had been reluctantly dragged inside rather than waiting outside on a cold winter day. Unlike most of the men, Phil had been openly fascinated by the crafting supplies, not so much by the beads and lace and adornments, but what he called spare body parts. His reaction to the doll heads was predictable as he could relate them to Dale, comparing the crocheted head to a porcelain ready-made head, complete with a smiling face and sometimes wire-rimmed glasses.
The trays of eyes and noses had sparked his interest more than anything else, probably because he’d never seen such things before. While Grace had been trying to select eyes and noses for a teddy-bear-making project for the Thursday evening ladies’ craft group, Phil had picked up and commented on every nose in every bin. First, he predicted what animal would have such a nose, then he matched the nose with a completely wrong set of eyes. He’d matched bear noses to cat eyes, dog noses to doll eyes, and every combination in between. The whole time, he commented on mixing the various traits of the different animals and made up names for his new creations until he had not only her, but everyone in the area in stitches. She couldn’t recall the number of times he’d made her lose count as she tried to compile faces for two- dozen animals, which the ladies’ group planned to donate to a local charity for underprivileged children.
A gust of wind caused Grace to shiver as she walked, so she pulled her collar up higher. Still, the day was beauti
ful and slightly warmer than average for the time of year.
Phil also shivered with the wind, but instead of playing with his collar, he slapped his upper arms with his palms.
“Your idea to go skating today was a good one. It may be a little windy, but otherwise the weather is perfect.”
The weather condition for skating was the last thing on Grace’s mind. The weather for the moment was being very good to Phil. Unlike her, he hadn’t worn a hat, and the wind gusts intermittently rippled through his hair. The winter nip turned his cheeks to an attractive rosy pink, giving him a fresh and carefree appearance. His charming little grin and carefree gait only made the whole picture of Phillip McLean more attractive.
As they walked down the block to where they’d parked the car, she noticed many women eyeing Phil in passing. Obviously he caught the interest of the general female population, because she knew no one was looking at her one-season-out-of-style coat.
Phil’s voice beside her interrupted her thoughts, which was not a bad thing.
“I forgot to ask, how was Thanksgiving dinner at your parents’ house? I hope you didn’t have a hard time driving home. The roads were fine in the city, but you were out on the highway, where it can get gusty and slippery.”
“The roads were bare in most places, and driving was good. Actually, I left a little early. Not because of the road conditions, but because I couldn’t listen to my sister any longer.” She stopped talking for a few steps while she collected her thoughts on the evening. “Phil, do you mind if I ask you something?”
“Not at all. Ask away.”
“You’re the same age as me, twenty-five, right?”
“Actually, I’m twenty-seven, but close enough. Why?”
Grace slowed her pace, forcing Phil to slow beside her so they wouldn’t arrive at the car before she finished what she wanted to say. This was one topic she wanted to be over before they had to share the close quarters of his car.
Truly Yours Contemporary Collection December 2014 Page 27