She kept her focus straight forward, not looking to the left or right as she spoke. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. I don’t even talk about it with my girlfriends, but that’s probably because I don’t want to hear it from them, too.” She stopped talking for a second to try and think of how to word her question, but decided to simply blurt it out. “Does your family ever bug you about why you’re not married?”
“Not really, but I can feel it coming this Christmas. My cousin Trevor is younger than me. Not only is he married, but their baby is due just after Christmas. Watching Janice walk around looking like she’s got a basketball under her shirt is a kind of in-your-face reminder. With my aunt about to become a grandmother, I can only imagine that my mother is going to ask when it’s going to be her turn. The concept of potential grandchildren generally does that to parents. Why do you ask? Did your mother give you a rough time on Thanksgiving?”
“She dropped a few hints, but the one who wouldn’t leave me alone was my sister. You know, the one who gave me the Name Your Baby book?”
“Ah, yes. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that one.”
“Pardon me?”
Grace turned her head as they continued walking, but this time Phil wouldn’t turn to look at her. “Nothing,” he mumbled.
“I tried to tell my mother and my sister that when God’s timing is right, it will happen, but my sister just doesn’t know when to quit. Usually it doesn’t bother me, but this year I just couldn’t listen anymore. I excused myself by saying I had to get up early for work and left shortly after supper, which was rude, and I’m not normally like that. Now I feel I should phone and apologize, but I don’t want to reopen the same can of worms.”
“I don’t want to make excuses for them, but they probably just want you to be happy and don’t realize how much it hurts to keep hounding you about it. I don’t know what the solution is. Maybe there isn’t one. You can’t get married just to please them. You said it yourself earlier. It will happen when God decides the timing is right. I say the same thing about my own life, too.”
They reached the car, saving her from having to respond. Phil unlocked the passenger door and held it open for her as she bundled the skirt of her coat around her knees and slid in. He stood behind the car until traffic eased up enough for him to open the driver’s door, and soon they were on their way.
Fortunately, Phil didn’t say anything more. She didn’t know if he thought the conversation on the topic was finished, or if he knew she didn’t want to talk about it anymore. Either way, she appreciated his silence more than words could say. How-ever, even though she definitely was finished talking about her prospects of a future marriage, she wasn’t finished thinking about it.
The main reason her sister and her mother had pushed the issue of marriage was that they were counting on their fingers the months she had been dating Neil. Over the past year she’d learned much about Neil, and he was very much the type of man she wanted to marry versus the type of man she wouldn’t.
During her growing-up years, she’d always considered her father to be brave and strong, as most children did. Also, like most children, she’d never considered whether or not her parents were happy. In her teenage years, when she was starting to take interest in the interpersonal relationships of those around her, especially her family, she suddenly didn’t like what she saw.
Instead of seeing her father as the strong, silent type, she started seeing his true colors as controlling and manipulative. As a child, she’d always thought her mother was merely anxious to please her father, but as she grew older, she learned the reasons why, and they weren’t good, or acceptable, to Grace as an adult. Her father never actually threatened her mother with physical violence—his methods were far more subtle. He said and did things that left her mother unable to complain, yet still very much under Grace’s father’s thumb. The constant belittling and unfair demands, which resulted in her mother being completely under her father’s control, amounted to nothing short of emotional abuse. Over the years, Grace had tried to convince her mother to attend counseling sessions, but her mother wouldn’t go, claiming all was fine, when Grace knew it wasn’t.
And then her sister married the same type of man as her father. Selfish, demanding, and controlling.
Grace had seen too much of that to let herself fall into the same trap. When she became a Christian, she learned of God’s desire for his children to be happy and successful in their marital relationships. Therefore, when the time came for Grace to get married, she planned to marry a man who would love her in the way the Bible directed—a man who would love her in the same way that Christ loved the church, un-selfishly and completely, enough that he would lay down his life for her. Of course, she expected no less of herself.
Rather than starting by weeding out the negatives, Grace wanted to seek out the positives. In Neil, she had met and developed a relationship with a man who made no demands, who valued her opinion, and always offered her free choices. His easygoing nature and flexibility made him easy to like, and she always enjoyed the time spent with him. Now, after dating each other exclusively for a year, she wondered if the time would soon come when Neil would broach the subject of marriage.
“Grace? We’re home.”
Her cheeks turned pink, not from the cold, but from the heat of her blush. “Oh, sorry, Phil. I was thinking about something.”
“So I gathered. If you want to think about something, why don’t you think about what Neil made for supper while we were gone? He said he was going to try and make something special.”
Grace forced herself to smile. In the entire year, Neil had never cooked for her, and from what Phil had said about Neil’s cooking, that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.
“You claim to be a better cook than Neil, and you know what he’s like in the kitchen. What do you think he’s doing? Just so I know what to expect.”
“If we’re lucky, it will be one of those hamburger casseroles that come in a box.”
“And if we’re not lucky?”
“I really haven’t a clue. We just have to take our chances.”
The scent of something cooking wafted at them when they opened the door to go in, but Grace couldn’t identify what it was, other than cooking beef.
“Hey, Neil! We’re back! Grace found the beads, so we had a great shopping trip.”
Neil appeared in the hallway, wiping his hands on the dish towel. “That’s great. Supper’s not quite ready, but there’s still some coffee if you want it.”
Phil turned to her. “Want some? I think I’m going to have a cup. I need something to warm me up.”
“Sure.”
The three of them walked into the kitchen together, where Grace saw that the meal of the day was spaghetti.
She turned to Neil and smiled. “Since you’re making supper, would you like me to set the table?” Grace reached up to the cupboard she suspected held the plates, but Neil raised one finger in the air and wagged it at her.
“Nope. I said I’d make supper, and that means doing everything. You guys can go into the living room, and I’ll finish up.”
She smiled. “I won’t argue with that.”
Her smile widened when Phil turned off the television and selected a CD.
“I see you have the haloless Dale still on top of the television.”
Phil picked Dale up, patted the hair, then put her down again. “Yeah. I still figure it’s the safest place in the house. The only reason the halo got broken was because I was fooling around with it. I figure he looks good here, don’t you? Besides, in a few weeks we’ll have our Christmas tree up, and he’ll be moved to his place of honor, where he belongs in the first place.”
“I can’t believe Christmas is coming so fast. With Thanks-giving over, the Christmas stuff will be out in full force. I wonder if they’re going to start playing Christmas songs at the coffeehouse. Are you sure you won’t come with us?”
“Positive.”
Grace waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t. Before she could ask him a second time, Neil called them into the kitchen to eat.
The spaghetti was very average, neither good nor bad, which was to be expected with canned sauce mixed with the ground beef, which was slightly overcooked, but still quite edible. Neil also served a slightly overheated garlic bread, which was okay if they cut off the outer crusts and no one ate the end pieces. Still, considering what Phil said about Neil’s cooking skills, she had to give him credit for his work. More than anything, it gave her heart a thrill to know he’d cooked just for her.
They had barely finished eating when Phil reminded them that since it was only the second week the coffeehouse was running, it would be best to leave early to ensure a good table. Once again, Grace asked Phil if he was sure he wouldn’t go with them, but his answer remained the same.
Seeing they had less time than expected to get there, Neil conned Phil into doing the dishes, and they left.
Somehow, the trip to the coffeehouse seemed odd, like something was missing. The something was someone, and that someone was Phil.
They were seated at a small table for two. Automatically, Grace sat so that she faced the stage. Neil sat opposite her, and they made pleasant small talk while they waited for everything to begin. To her relief, Neil didn’t talk too much about the latest hockey game. Right on time, the emcee stepped onto the stage, introduced the band, and the music began.
The building was the same, the band was much the same, but Grace couldn’t help but think of the difference from the previous week. This week, there was no Phil. Instead, she was with Neil, and Neil alone. In the past few weeks, she’d spent so much time with Phil or with Phil and Neil together, she’d almost forgotten what it was like to be alone with Neil.
To her surprise, at the end of the first song, Neil dragged his chair almost beside her. He positioned his chair so the two of them sat at angles at the rear of the small table, as close to side by side as was possible around a table with a top not much bigger than the size of a large pizza.
Grace thought it was the most romantic thing Neil had ever done. Unfortunately, it was probably less to sit close to her and more so that he wouldn’t have his back to the band.
Neil leaned toward her and nudged her arm. “They’re really good, aren’t they?” he whispered barely above the volume of the music.
“Yes. Phil would really like them, too,”
Before she could close her mouth, Grace nearly choked on her words. She was on a date with Neil. The man to whom her sister said it was time to get married. She shouldn’t have been thinking of Phil and how much he would be enjoying the music.
Neil leaned toward her again. “Isn’t this the song Phil wanted the music for?”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “Yes, I think so.”
“It’s too bad he didn’t come, but then this is the first time in a long time we’ve had the chance to be alone together on the weekend. I don’t really miss him.”
Neil moved his hand between the two chairs, almost like he was reaching specifically toward her.
Quickly, Grace leaned forward and wrapped both hands around her warm coffee mug.
Pointedly, she didn’t respond to Neil’s comment. She had to agree that it had been a long time since they’d been out alone together. But, unlike Neil, she did miss Phil, even though it had only been an hour since they parted.
Grace cleared her throat. “I wonder what Phil’s doing right now? He said he had something planned for tonight. Any ideas?”
Neil also leaned forward and also wrapped his hands around his coffee mug.
“Nope,” he mumbled as the music played. “I have no idea what he had planned for tonight.”
twelve
Phillip closed one eye and let his tongue curl out the corner of his mouth as he painstakingly positioned the microscopic bead between his fingers and poked the hairlike wire through the hole. With one more bead on the wire, he stopped to rub his sore eyes and wondered if maybe he needed glasses. He couldn’t count how many beads he had dropped or how many had rolled off the kitchen table onto the floor. Since he had a whole tube for a small project, at this point Phillip had no intention of picking up the ones that had rolled away to parts unknown. He would save his eyes and simply sweep them up and give the remainder of the tube to Grace for future projects, if there were any left by the time he was finished.
Phillip stared at the small length of beads on the wire. All he was doing was making a single length. He couldn’t see how people made massive artworks of beads, some of them distinct mathematical patterns or even pictures, and called it fun. He wasn’t having much fun. Actually, he wasn’t having any fun at all.
Once more, Phillip rubbed his eyes, then added another bead to the wire, knowing soon he was bound to reach the length he’d calculated his granny had used to make the right-sized halo. The closer he came to filling the wire, the more he couldn’t believe how much time the small project was taking.
When he finally filled the required length of wire with enough beads, he pushed the beads together tightly and twisted the wire closed to form a circle with his fingers. He decidedly avoided using his needle-nosed pliers, as that was how his troubles with Dale began, this time.
Finally, he poked the base of the halo into the spot on the back of Dale’s head where the original halo had been, and he was done. Immediately he returned Dale to his new home atop the television.
With Dale once more restored to normal, Phillip allowed himself to relax. He was starting to see why Granny valued the angel so much, if each step of the creative process required such painstaking effort and concentration. The starching alone, when the angel was complete, was grueling enough. Now, after making a new halo, Phillip could only imagine the work involved in the actual construction of the angel itself, if he was so exhausted after making what was probably the easiest part of the whole package.
Phillip stood back from the television, crossed his arms, and continued to study Dale from a distance. Dale was truly beautiful, of that there was no doubt. Knowing now what he didn’t know before, Phillip couldn’t help but wonder why women made such items when they were so much work. If it were up to him, he wasn’t sure all the effort was worth it.
Yet, he knew that Grace enjoyed doing crafts, and she was good at it. Now that he knew how time-consuming such things could be, he wondered where she found the time.
The more Phillip stared at Dale, the more he thought of Grace. In fact, lately thoughts of Grace were filling inordinate amounts of his time, and he couldn’t help himself. It wasn’t only when Dale was involved that he thought of her either. At different points in the day, he found himself simply picturing her smile or remembering something she’d said.
And right now, she was on a date with her boyfriend, Phillip’s best friend, which was how they met in the first place.
The knowledge hit him right in the solar plexus.
He didn’t know when it started or how, but he had it bad.
Phillip didn’t know how he’d gotten himself into such a mess, but he did know that he had to get himself out of it. Of course, the most obvious solution would be to simply not see her again, but he’d already tried that. It not only didn’t work, the idea had completely backfired on him.
He didn’t know how it happened, but after Neil’s feeble attempt at impressing Grace with his cooking skills, they had somehow decided that once a week the three of them would have a home-cooked supper together, and they would rotate who did the cooking.
After seeing Grace on Monday for his guitar lesson, Tues-day he would be cooking her supper. Of course Neil would also be there, but at this point he didn’t know which was worse, being alone with her or being forced to watch her with Neil. Either way, being with her only rubbed in his face the fact that he couldn’t have her.
Then, Wednesday was Bible study night. Since he already knew many of the people present, they asked him to switch and make that one his home group. He’d
been so honored to be asked that before he thought about what he was doing, he agreed. It hadn’t been until afterward that he remembered the reason he had picked the other group in the first place. He and Neil had decided to attend different groups because they didn’t want to see too much of each other, since they already lived together. Now, to make matters worse, not only would he be going to Bible studies with Neil, he would also be going with Grace.
Friday evenings were usually wide open. Typically, after a busy week at work, unless he had specific plans, Phillip preferred to stay home on Fridays. However, in discussion, an earlier conversation had come back to haunt him. He’d opened the door for Grace to come over to their house with Neil, regardless if he was there or not. Grace had said that, like Phillip, she welcomed the chance to relax on Friday evening and not have to make plans just because it was Friday.
Before Phillip could take her reasoning to the next step, Grace had made plans with Neil that she would come over more often on Fridays if he agreed to keep the television turned off. Then she had said with a wink toward Phillip that they would turn the music on loud. Starting, of course, the next Friday.
Phillip couldn’t protest without having to explain why, so therefore he forced a smile and agreed.
For the next month, Grace had a list of activities she wanted to do on Saturdays as a group, all with himself and Neil, and even a couple including her friend June. At the top of the list were skating and more trips to the Christian coffeehouse.
And then Sunday there was church, where they attended together.
Fortunately, Thursday was Grace’s ladies’ group craft meetings, where no man dared to go.
Thursdays, he would be safe.
❧
“Phil? What are you doing here?”
The sounds of snipping and the rustle of fabric faded into silence as all the ladies in the room stopped their projects and turned to look at him, the only male in the room.
Phillip felt the heat of his blush spread from his neck all the way to the tips of his ears. From the back of the room, his granny waved at him, so he waved back while he waited for Grace, who had left her table and approached him.
Truly Yours Contemporary Collection December 2014 Page 28