Beautiful Undoing

by Scarlett Jade

  Camille grinned in relief. “Thank you for giving me your discount and for being so nice to me.” She pulled her debit card from her wallet, feeling slightly guilty that she spent that much on clothes.

  “You’re welcome! Based on what you came in here wearing, you needed this stuff, so don't feel bad, yeah?” Sarah swiped her card.

  “I'm not feeling guilty.” Camille blurted.

  “Sure you aren't. What. are you in crazy debt and shouldn't be spending or something? Gah, you have classic I-feel-bad-for-shopping-syndrome. Believe me, I see it everyday.” She shook her head and handed her the receipt. “Sign for me please.”

  Camille signed the receipt and handed it back, chuckling. “No, it’s nothing like that. I just don't like spending money.”

  Sarah sighed heavily and pressed a hand to her forehead. “I see, you don't just suffer from the I feel bad shopping syndrome.. you also suffer from tightwaditis. Damn. I'm gonna have to loosen you up.” She teased, pushing a pen and piece of paper across the counter. “So Tighty, can I get your digits so I can pick you up later?”

  Camille scribbled the number down and slid it back. “You’re going to think this is so caveman-like.”

  Sarah snorted. “What?”

  “Well, you know. Old school. Caveman sounds cooler though. I don't have a cell phone.” She grimaced a little.

  Sarah laughed hard. “What? No cell phone? Why?”

  Camille shrugged, her cheeks pinking in embarrassment. “Because my parents were firm believers that they caused brain cancer. I just recently got a microwave.”

  Sarah shook her head in mock horror. “That's crazy! How do you survive?”

  “I-I don't really talk to people.” She stuttered awkwardly.

  “Okay, well I'm going to call you later. I get off at five. I'll be by to get you probably at six. Does that sound good?”

  “Yeah. It sounds okay.”

  “Sweet. See you then! Bye, girl. I have to get back to work before my boss fires me.” Sarah giggled softly and motioned her to the door.

  “Okay, thanks for everything, again… I hope to hear from you.” Camille bumbled, flushing hotter as she realized how pathetic she sounded. Sarah was alive, so vibrantly alive, and for a little while, it made her feel alive too. She worried about losing that.

  “I’ll call, I promise.” Sarah reassured her. “Go home.”

  “I am. See you later.” Camille hefted her bag and ambled through the mall, floating along, barely noticing the people who passed her. Lifting a hand, she waved at the next woman who walked by. “Hi,” she called.

  “Hey there,” the woman replied, smiling warmly. “Have a great day.”

  I am… I am!

  Leaving the mall, she puttered across the parking lot and opened the door of her car. Sliding behind the wheel, she stuck the key in the ignition. The car refused to start. Beating the wheel, she groaned, “Don't give up on me now!” The horn tooted pathetically, and she laughed, letting tension run off of her like water on a duck's back. It felt good.

  “Have you ever thought of fixing her up or maybe even breaking down and buying a better car?”

  She screamed in panic and whirled around to check the backseat for an axe murderer. She hadn’t locked the doors and her heart slammed in her chest. “Don’t kill me,” she whispered. She couldn't see anyone and her heart rate accelerated tenfold.

  “You’re safe with me,” he said softly. “Don't be afraid of me. I'd never hurt you.”

  “I’m losing my mind,” Camille wailed, leaning forward and pressing her head to the steering wheel. “I’m really losing it now. Oh my God, Joanna was right.”

  “No, she wasn’t,” the voice replied roughly. “You know you’re not crazy. You can hear me.”

  “Who are you? Why can I hear you? Why can I feel you? This isn’t normal.” She gasped, her chest tightening in panic.

  “Sure it is, it’s your normalcy. For someone else, it wouldn’t be normal, but for you… Sure,” he reassured her. “Don't be afraid of me, please. You know me.”

  Camille shook her head and glanced over at her empty passenger seat. “You know something, I still don't know your name. I've seen you so many times in my dreams and I still don't know what you are. I'm sitting here talking to an angel-ghost-thing who won't even tell me his name. If you tell me it is Casper, I swear to God, I will piss my pants.”

  He laughed. “My name isn't Casper. I'm not your friendly neighborhood ghost. Maybe my life would be easier if it was.” He paused then continued, “You know, your friend Sarah is very close to the mark. Uncannily close, actually. It's one of those I-can't-officially-tell-you-but-if-you-figure-it-out-kinda-things....”

  “She is?” Her breath caught in her throat as she thought hard about everything Sarah had said. Aura? No. Superhero? No. Angel... Angel when my....Oh my God!

  “Yeah, she's pretty much is on the mark,” he sighed, as if he waited for her to say the words.

  “You're an angel?” Her pulse sped up again and she reached out for him, only touching air in the passenger seat. “I can’t see you. Shouldn't I be able to see you?”

  “Only in your dreams, Cami. You can hear me though, right?”

  “I can.” she admitted. “Who are you? Please tell me.”

  He sighed again. “There’s a long story about who and what I am, but basically that is the answer I'll give you for right now. You said I'm an angel. Also, I like Sarah. She's good for you, you need someone to help you. Someone... tangible. She just puts me on edge like she knows too much, and she really reminds me of someone. I'm looking too much into it. I forget there are empaths who can sense us.”

  Camille turned and stared at the empty seat, hoping she looked at his face and not like, his butt or something. “Are you my guardian angel? It's the only thing that I can piece together.” They sat quietly for a few minutes and she worried he'd left her. “Hello?”

  He replied flatly, “No. I'm not good enough to be one of those.”

  “What? Like there are angel levels or something?” She didn’t understand, but she wanted to.

  He continued gently. “You got me the night your parents died. But I'm not your guardian angel. Only the best of the best get to be guardians.”

  Obviously this is a point that really bothers him... But wait... “The night my parents died?” Her voice cracked and her heart thumped harder. He came to me the night my parents died. Did he…

  “Yes, Camille. I came to you that night. I kept you warm and I tried to calm you until first responders came. I’m here for you until you finish your grieving process. I am for lack of a better word, a grief counselor angel... thing.”

  “Can I know your name?” Her heart tripped in her chest as she waited for the response.

  “I'm not supposed to tell you,” he replied sadly. “I'm not even supposed to be here right now. It’s taking all the energy I have to sit here with you. I'm breaking the moral code again. Pardon the pun, but there will be hell to pay if the Big Man finds out.”

  “Why can't you tell me and what’s the moral code?” She twisted her fingers together.

  “I'd be breaking yet another rule when it comes to you.”

  “You're breaking rules? Why? I didn't know angels had rules,” she mumbled breathlessly.

  “Because I can't seem to help myself when I'm with you. You make me want to break every rule ever created for us... Believe me, that list is preposterously long.” He sighed gently. “I’m sorry.”

  “When you're with me? Why me? Why are you sorry?”

  He groaned and replied slowly, as though he gritted teeth, “Because you’re the biggest temptation I've ever faced and I've faced plenty. But I'm failing miserably at keeping my distance from you. You’re an extraordinary habit I'm not willing to break yet.”

  She flushed. “I'm nothing special, certainly not something to screw your life up for.”

  He chuckled roughly. “Don't sell yourself short, Camille, because you are going to be my undoi
ng. A beautiful undoing, but an undoing, nonetheless. An angel shouldn't fall in love with the human he's sworn to help.” His voice softened and was barely a whisper at the end.

  “You love me?” she gasped, her hand coming up to cover her mouth. “I don’t understand. Why am I going to be your undoing? Can’t you tell me more?”

  “I wish I could, sweet Camille. Now isn’t the time. I’m fading out, and I can’t stay. I’m with you though, and when you need me? I’ll be there. When the time is right I’ll tell you everything. I promise…” his voice weakened further, til it was barely a murmur.

  “Please! Tell me your name!” she begged.

  “My name is Casey,” he whispered.

  Reaching for him again, her eyes filled with tears. “Casey, who says I have to be your undoing? Who has to know about this but us?”

  “I have to go for now, Camille,” he murmured wistfully.

  “I wish you could stay. I-I need you,” she stuttered weakly.

  “As do I. I would love nothing more than to stay right here in this car with you. For now, that's an impossibility. Just like you and I. It's simply not meant to be right now. Oh, how I wish...”

  The warmth she felt suddenly disappeared and she knew then he was gone. Her mind whirled with all the unknowns, and she would figure out the truth eventually. She had a funny feeling that her future depended on it.

  Stay tuned for the continuation of the Beautiful Serial with Beautiful Disaster, coming soon!

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