Don't Make Me Choose Between You and My Shoes

by Dixie Cash

  “Thanks, friend. Knowing our history, you won’t have to wait long.”

  To Debbie Sue’s dismay, Matt lectured them again on the dangers of getting involved in something they weren’t qualified to handle. He preached statistics and gave more warnings than a father to a set of triplet daughters on prom night.

  “I spoke to Homer,” he said pointedly to Debbie Sue. “He doesn’t remember a conversation with you yesterday about a room change, but he assured me he’ll see to it this morning. I intend to stay here until that happens.”

  “There’s no need for that,” Debbie Sue said, chastened. “I confess I told you a fib. I promise not to do it again. Look, Ed and I have to give our session at ten o’clock, and we’ll take Celina with us.”

  “If I know you two, you’ll decide to stay up here in the room so you can eavesdrop or spy or whatever.”

  “Oh, we can’t do that. If we don’t fulfill our obligation to these conference folks, we’ll have to pay for this whole thing, the airfare between here and Texas and the hotel bill. Holy cow, the courtesy bar alone could put Edwina and me both in bankruptcy. We’ve had experience with that.”

  He gave her an arch look. “You’re changing rooms just the same.”

  Debbie Sue shot Edwina a look of desperation. When Edwina shrugged her shoulders, Debbie Sue turned her attention back to Matt. “We’re going to need some privacy to get dressed. Can you at least wait outside the door?”

  “That much I’ll do. I’ll be sitting in a chair by the elevators. When you’re ready I’ll escort you downstairs to the concierge.”

  He rose from his seat. Before leaving he stopped in front of Celina, tilted up her chin and kissed her. “Be careful,” he said softly. “Don’t blindly follow these two.”

  “Awwww,” Edwina said dreamily.

  Matt glowered at her and started for the door. “See you in an hour,” he said as he pulled the door shut.

  Debbie Sue watched his departure through the peephole. When she was satisfied he was out of sight, she turned back to her roommates. “Okay. With all the cops around here, it’s safe to assume that Rogenstein didn’t come back here, right?”

  “Right,” Edwina agreed. “And he had that friggin’ trunk. Somebody would have noticed.”

  “Maybe not,” Celina put in. “This is a hotel. Would it be out of the ordinary for someone to bring in a trunk?”

  “I don’t think he’s in that room. There hasn’t been a sound from over there. With all the commotion in the hallway, if he was in there, he would have come out to see what was going on.”

  “If no one saw Mr. Rogenstein go in,” Celina said, “maybe Cher left and no one saw her, either.”

  “I say we’ve got to go in and look around in that room,” Debbie Sue said. “We’ve got to look closer than those two cops looked. Rogenstink had them bamboozled. If we don’t find anything, great. We’ve satisfied ourselves.”

  Adrenaline was still rushing through Edwina’s bloodstream. She needed action. “I’m for that.”

  “Okay. Any idea how we can get in there?” Debbie Sue asked.

  “But what about the warrant Matt’s waiting for?” Celina asked. “If Mr. Rogenstein goes on trial, wouldn’t our entering his room without a warrant put the evidence in question?”

  “If we were cops, I suppose it might. But we’re not. We’re private citizens just snooping around. We haven’t been hired by anyone to do anything. At the worst, I suppose they could get us for breaking and entering.”

  “Hmm,” Edwina said. “I’ll bet Homer would like to do just that.”

  “Well, I’m willing to take that risk.” Debbie Sue’s tone had a ring of finality.

  “You may be willing, sweet cheeks,” Edwina said, “but it ain’t gonna’ happen. Not with ‘Steel Jaw McDermott’ waiting for us to relocate.”

  “Maybe he’ll get a call and have to leave,” Celina said as she chewed on her thumbnail.

  “Oh, yeah,” Debbie Sue said, and Edwina heard a plan in her tone. “That just might happen. Guess we’ll just have to hope the wheels of justice turn smoothly. We’re pretty much out of it at this point.”

  Edwina glanced at Debbie Sue, puzzled, but Debbie Sue gave her a wink.

  “We might as well get ready to go downstairs,” Debbie Sue said. “Celina, you take the bathroom first. Ed and I’ll finish packing.”

  “Oh, okay. I’ll hurry,” Celina gathered her things and headed for the bathroom.

  “No need to rush. We have plenty of time.”

  Once Celina closed the door and Debbie Sue heard the shower, she said to Edwina, “Listen, I’ve got an idea.”

  “Now there’s a surprise. I’d be shocked if you didn’t.”

  “I’d like to keep Celina out of this as much as possible. I think she’s starting to get a little weak-kneed over this whole thing and I don’t want to put her relationship with Matt in jeopardy. It looks to me like those two are in love whether they realize it not. You know that voice changer thingamajig you bought for talking dirty to Vic?”

  Edwina’s brown eyes narrowed. “Yeeaah?” she said cautiously. “What about it?”

  “There’s no way our real voices would fool Matt, so let’s give that thing a trial run.”

  Catching on glinted like a light in Edwina’s eyes. “What a great idea. Now, where did I put it?” She rummaged through the packages and sacks strewn about the room.

  At last she lifted a small box triumphantly. “Hello. Here it is, and I know how to connect it. I watched the demonstration about ten times.”

  “Good.” Debbie Sue reached for her purse. “Get it set to go while I look for Matt’s card.”

  By the time Edwina had disconnected and reconnected the room phone to the voice-changing device, Debbie Sue had found the card and Matt’s cell phone number and was waiting.

  “Okay, it’s ready.” Edwina handed over the phone. “Do you know what you’re gonna say?”

  “Yeah, but don’t look at me. This is a one-time shot and I don’t want to start laughing.” She hesitated before keying in the number. “You did watch when they adjusted the pitch on this thing, right? I don’t want to sound like an old man or worse yet, a cartoon character.”

  “Yeah, yeah. I did it right. Go ahead.”

  “Okay. This is it. Here goes.”

  Edwina opened her palms and urged Debbie Sue onward. “So do it.”

  “I’m nervous, Ed. I mean, I’m lying to a cop.”

  “Yeah, I know. But it could be worse. You could be lying to Buddy. I’m turning my back. Have at it.”

  Debbie Sue punched in Matt’s number before she lost her nerve.

  Three rings later he came on the line. “Detective McDermott.”

  “This is Judge Longoria’s assistant,” Debbie Sue said into the voice changer. “Would it be possible for you to come to our office? The judge would like to talk to you about the warrant application you’ve presented.”

  Debbie Sue considered it dumb luck that Matt had mentioned the name of the judge earlier and she had remembered it. She listened as Matt asked questions.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, detective, but Judge Longoria didn’t give me any details. He only asked that I call you and ask you to come to his office immediately.”

  She waited and listened again. “I’m afraid an hour might be too late, sir. He’s trying to leave town. I called and confirmed his flight out of Kennedy two hours from now, which means he’ll have to be at the airport in an hour.”

  She waited as Matt groaned and agreed.

  “Thank you, Detective. I’ll tell the judge you’ll be here soon…. Uh, what was that? My voice? Oh, I’m just a little hoarse. Sinus troubles…. Shrill?…It does? Well, I just never know what’s going to come out when my allergies act up…. Yes, sir. Thanks, I will.”

  As Debbie Sue disconnected, Edwina turned around and stared at her in astonishment. “God love a goose, Debbie Sue, that was great. I’m pretty much awestruck right now. I didn’t know you could think that qu
ick on your feet.”

  “We don’t have time for you to be awestruck. Lucky for us he bought it, even though I must have sounded like I had my tit caught in a wringer.

  “Now there’s a visual,” Edwina said.

  “Shut up, Ed. You’ve got to go downstairs and give our presentation. Alone.”

  “What? No way, José. Why do I have to go?”

  “Because I’m in the zone and somebody needs to make sure we fulfill our agreement and don’t have to pay for this hotel bill. Take Celina with you. She can sit by the fountain and keep an eye out for Rogenstein.”

  Just then they heard a light rap-rap-rap on the door.

  Not bothering to use the peephole, Debbie Sue opened it a crack and saw Matt standing there. “Oh, hell. We’re not ready yet. Is it time to go?”

  “Ladies, I’m sorry, but I have to leave. I’ll be back as soon as I can. I’ll ask Homer to send a bellhop for your luggage in an hour and to make sure you leave your rooms.”

  Debbie Sue feigned concern. “Oh, Matt, is everything all right?”

  “Judge Longoria has some questions. I’ve got to get to his office ASAP or the warrant may be down the tubes. Promise me you’ll follow my instructions.”

  “Oh, don’t worry about us. Celina’s in the bathroom getting dressed or she’d tell you the same.”

  He appeared reluctant to leave but finally nodded and turned to go. Stopping in mid-stride he turned back. “You have my number if you need me, right?”

  Debbie Sue summoned a beatific smile. “One of us has your card, I’m sure, but why don’t you give me another just in case.”

  The detective fished a card from his leather badge holder and handed it to her. “Don’t hesitate to call me,” he said.

  “Oh, don’t worry, we won’t.”

  chapter twenty-two

  For the second time this morning, Debbie Sue watched Matt depart. Feeling confident he was gone, she started talking rapidly to Edwina. “Okay, let’s get going. We don’t have much time. Take Celina and go downstairs. You don’t have to tell her I’m not doing the presentation with you. Just tell her we’re counting on her to watch for Rogenstein while we’re giving our program.”

  “Where will you be?” Edwina asked.

  “I’m getting into that room next door one way or the other.”

  “Oh, no. Cher was my friend. I’m the one who should get into it.”

  Debbie Sue gripped Edwina’s skinny arm. “Ed, listen to me. I’m a lot younger than you. I’m not as scared of stuff as you are and I don’t get as rattled as you do. I’m the one to do it.”

  “Well, you’re not doing it without me. I won’t allow it. You just preached me a sermon about us doing things together.”

  “I know I did, but this is different.” Debbie Sue grasped Edwina’s shoulders firmly and forced her to face her. “Listen to me, Ed. This is the only way it’ll work. You go downstairs and act like everything’s normal. Celina watches for Rogenstein. She can call my cell if he shows up and I’ll leave his room and come back into this one. It’s ten steps away. I’ll never be in any danger.”

  “Do I have to remind you of the last time you said words like that to me?” Edwina asked. “We were in the bottom of an open grave at night in Haskell, Texas.”

  “No, you don’t have to remind me. Just remind yourself that realistically, when you stop to think about it, the odds of me getting into Rogenstein’s room are pretty slim.”

  “Realistically, my ass. There’s nothing realistic about this whole damned thing.”

  “Ed, hurry. Get Celina and get downstairs. The quicker y’all go, the sooner I can get to work myself.”

  “I don’t have a good feeling about this, Debbie Sue. Not a good feeling at all. If Buddy finds out, he’ll ground us forever. Any day of the week I’d rather face Frank Rogenstein than a pissed-off Buddy Overstreet.”

  “You won’t have to face either one. Now, go!”

  Edwina walked over and tapped on the bathroom door. “Celina? Ready to go, hon?”

  Celina opened the door, a look of confusion on her face, “I’m ready, but are y’all? Neither of you has even been in the bathroom yet.”

  “Let me just give my teeth a quick swipe,” Edwina said pushing past her and grabbing her toothbrush. She ran some water on the bristles, made a couple of up-and-down movements over her teeth and announced, “There, ready to go.”

  Edwina handed a card to Celina. “Look, you’re gonna have to hang out at the fountain and watch for Rogenstein. I’ve written Debbie Sue’s cell number on the back of this card. Call it from your cell at the first sight of him. Your phone’s charged up, I hope.”

  “Oh, yes, it’s been plugged in all night.”

  Debbie Sue was holding the door open, making sweeping motions with her hand. Edwina urged Celina through. “Debbie Sue, see you downstairs.” Edwina gave her a huge exaggerated wink behind Celina’s back. Than she stopped and wrapped her arms around Debbie Sue in a huge hug. “Promise you’ll be careful,” she whispered.

  “I promise.” Debbie Sue said, wishing she felt only half as assured as she attempted to show.

  Once the two friends were gone, she gathered up half a dozen pieces of luggage and, struggling under the weight, moved them to the hallway. She went back into the room for her cell phone. Just as she picked it up, the University of Texas fight song blared. The caller was Edwina. “Ed, what’s up?”

  “I’m in the Big Apple Room. We’re set to start in fifteen minutes.”

  “Okay.”

  “Frank Rogenstein is sitting on the front row sipping a cup of coffee and talking to everybody around him. I don’t know what he’s got up his sleeve, but he’s smiling like a cat that just got in the cream jar. Bastard. He’s probably come to flaunt himself at us.”

  Debbie Sue’s heart plummeted. “Fuck. What if he’s already moved the body? Why else would he be acting so smug? If we’re too late, he’ll never be caught.”

  “Maybe he’s just an arrogant piece of low-class shit,” Edwina spat in a stage whisper. “Maybe he’s just a limp-dicked motherfucker who doesn’t know when he’s bit off more than he can chew. You get in that room, whatever it takes, girlfriend.”

  “Damn straight, Ed. I’ll talk to you later.”

  The plan has to work, Debbie Sue told herself.

  One way or another she had to make sure it would.

  She hung up and keyed in the hotel’s housekeeping number, then said a little prayer while she waited for an answer.

  “Housekeeping. I help you?” said a voice in broken English.

  “This is room six eighteen. I need someone to come to my room immediately with toilet paper.” Debbie Sue forced her words to drip aggravation. “When the room was cleaned this morning they failed to leave a new roll and now I’m stuck on the toilet.”

  “Oh, yes, ma’am. I send someone as soon—”

  “You’ll send someone this very minute or I’m calling the manager. I know him personally. For what I’m paying for this room the very least I should be able to expect is an adequate supply of toilet paper.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I send Angela right away.”

  “I don’t care who you send. Just send someone now.”

  Debbie Sue disconnected, feeling like an overbearing bully. She had worked in a service job long enough to know how hard it could be getting along with pains in the ass. She made a mental note to write something favorable to someone about the housekeeping department. It was the least she could do after being so rude.

  She scurried out to the hallway and stood and waited for the sound of the elevator’s arrival. Within minutes she heard the ping and the glide of the doors. Then a young olive-skinned woman came around the corner carrying rolls of toilet paper.

  At Room 618 the maid tapped on the door and waited. Debbie Sue busied herself with the luggage she had placed directly in front of Room 620.

  The young woman knocked several more times. When there was no response, she used her card and
opened the door slightly. “Housekeeping,” she called out. Still there was no response from inside the room. Opening the door wider, she said in a loud voice, “Ma’am, I leave toilet paper here by the door. You need more, just call.”

  Before she left, she fished a walkie-talkie from her apron pocket. “Rosie? Is Angela. You say six eighteen?”

  “That’s right, six one eight,” came the reply through heavy static.

  “Okay. She no answer. I leave paper inside.” Rosie said something else, but Debbie Sue couldn’t make it out. “Two rolls. I leave two rolls. She be happy now?”

  “She said she was stuck in the bathroom,” Rosie said with a snicker. “Besides wiping her butt, that’s all you can do.”

  Angela giggled. “Shhh, Rosie. Someone will hear.”

  As the maid started back toward the elevator, Debbie Sue said, “Angela? That’s your name, right? I couldn’t help but overhear you just now.”

  Angela smiled shyly. “Yes, ma’am, I am Angela.”

  “I’m in a little bit of trouble here. I’m in room six twenty. I’m checking out this morning and as you can see, I have all of my luggage here. I was about to go back in my room and get my purse and key when I accidentally let the door close behind me. Can you help me?”

  “I don’t know,” the young woman said hesitantly. “You need to call front desk—”

  “But I can’t get back into my room to use the phone. If you could just open the door for me, I would be so grateful.”

  “Oh, ma’am, I cannot open a door—”

  “I know, I know. I’m sure it’s against rules. But I have a cab waiting outside and a plane to catch. I don’t have time for the front desk to help me. At this time of day everyone is bound to be trying to check in or out and the desk will be swamped. Since you’re already here, couldn’t you please just open the door?”

  “I call the front desk,” Angela said, taking the walkie-talkie from her pocket again.

  Money. Debbie Sue had money in her pocket. She dug inside it and pulled out the first thing she felt. “Angela, I’ll give you twenty dollars if you’ll just open this door now.” She dug in her pocket again. “Look. Here, here’s another twenty. Forty dollars total. I really am in a big hurry.”