Leona finished eating and I put her over my shoulder and burped her as I thought about Leon’s threat. It seemed like I hadn’t much of a choice.
“I don’t have a job. I can’t afford to move back to Richmond.”
“I plan on letting you keep the house, which I will pay for. As well as a more than generous monthly child support payment.” He rattled off an amount that made my bottom jaw drop.
“In exchange, I want joint custody of Leona.”
I pretended like I was thinking about his offer when really it was the only option I had other than living with my mother in her one-bedroom apartment. And that definitely was no way to raise a child.
“Can my mother live with me?” Just being in the big house all by myself with a baby already scared me.
Leon looked surprised, then nodded. “As long as she’s off the drugs, she’s more than welcome.”
I nodded and didn’t know what else to say.
Reaching over, he stroked our daughter’s face. “Well, now that that’s settled, I’ll be back next week to take the two of you home.” He leaned over and kissed Leona, then rose, walked away, and didn’t once look back.
36
Nikki
I parked my Lexus near the back of the parking lot near the gate, then took a long, deep breath. The moment of truth would soon be at hand. A state mental hospital was the last place in the world I wanted to be. But it had been ten days and the police still hadn’t found Aiden, and Donovan was still in a coma. So what options did I have?
I climbed out of the car and looked at my reflection. I made sure my hair hung loose just the way Kenyon liked it, although just the thought of trying to please that man caused the acid to rumble in my stomach.
I had ten minutes to get inside. I straightened my dress and hurried in pink pumps into the building toward the front desk.
After I showed my ID and signed in on the log, I moved into the visitors’ room and waited. While I sat on the hard bench I felt agitated and nervous as hell. It had been almost four years since I last saw Kenyon, and that was across the courtroom before he pleaded not guilty due to mental insanity. The last thing I wanted to do was to sit across the table from the nutcase, but I had run out of options. If going to see Kenyon meant getting my son back, then it would definitely be worth it.
The door knob turned and I felt like my heart had jumped through my throat. And then I turned my head and there he was.
Kenyon.
I guess I had expected him to be wearing a straitjacket with his hair wild all over his head and deep, dark bags under his eyes for years of being medicated. Only that wasn’t the case at all. In fact, it was the exact opposite. All that dark chocolate still looked good in a white T-shirt that clung to his broad chest and loose-fitting jeans.
“What’s up, Kenyon?” I greeted him playfully the moment he walked into the room.
He looked pleased by the warm welcome, especially when I rose and allowed him to hug me. As he held me against his strong body, I quickly had to remind myself that this was the same psycho who had kidnapped and threatened to kill me.
“You’re still as beautiful as ever.” He slowly released me and gave me a knowing look.
“Thank you.”
While he took the seat across from me, I admired his good looks again. It was such a waste. How could someone who looked that good be so crazy?
“When my doctor told me you wanted to see me, you have no idea how shocked I was.”
Probably nowhere near as shocked as I was that my lawyer had gotten me permission to see him, especially since I was the reason Kenyon was locked up in this facility for eighteen more months.
“Well . . . you talked about finding closure and moving on, so I figured it was only fair that I come and give you a chance to do just that.” I gave a nervous laugh.
“Baby, I’m so glad to hear you say that.” He leaned across the table and grazed my fingers with his hand. I was ready to cringe when someone tapped on the glass. Touching and any other physical contact was allowed only when the patient initially entered the room. Kenyon pulled back. “I missed you.”
I frowned because I didn’t even want to go there with him. Yes, we’d had some good times together in the months that we were a couple, but I never stopped loving my husband, and that’s what kept us from ever really being together.
“How have you been?” I asked, because it was important for me to let him think I cared about him. It wasn’t a total lie. I didn’t hate him. I don’t think I ever could because he really wasn’t a bad guy. He was just crazy as hell.
“Baby, I’ve been taking it one day at a time. You’ll be happy to know I finally let go of my mother.”
About time. The woman had been dead for over eight years.
He had this far-off look in his eyes. “Yeah, I was happy to hear she was in heaven with your grandmother.”
Like I said, he was crazy. Kenyon knew how much my grandmother had meant to me. “That’s good to hear.” I was anxious to get this interview under way.
“Yes, but she still talks to me at night. Just don’t tell my therapist that,” he added with a wink. “Otherwise, he’ll think I’m crazy.”
Hell, I thought he was crazy.
“Seriously, Nikki, I wanted to let you know that I am sorry for everything I had done to you. When you didn’t accept any more of my calls, I put my feelings all into a letter to you.”
“You did?” I said and decided to play dumb.
He frowned. “Baby, didn’t Donovan tell you he read my letter?”
My heart started pounding. “How do you know that?”
He kept his eyes locked on mine like he was searching for the reason why I was really there. “Because he came down here to see me.”
“What?” Trinette had been right. Coming to see him had been the right decision.
He nodded. “Yes, baby. He was here last week.”
Okay, he was starting the baby crap again. It was one thing he used to do that drove me crazy. However, right now he could call me whatever the hell he wanted to call me.
“What did he come to see you about?” I asked like I didn’t already know.
He shifted on the bench. “First, let me ask you a question . . . Is Aiden mine?”
I didn’t hesitate. “Hell no. He’s not! Aiden is Donovan’s son.”
Did that freak of nature really think I had a baby by him? Goodness, we’d practiced safe sex. Okay, so maybe we were careless once or twice, but I had gotten my period. That I was pretty certain of.
“That’s too bad. Although . . . I’ve done the math and if my calculations are right, there’s a slim chance that Aiden is my son. I’m not ready to let go of that possibility.”
“Well, dream on. Aiden’s Donovan’s, not yours!” I sneered. There was no way in hell I was even going to allow him to plant that seed in my head. I know who’s my baby’s daddy.
There was no mistaking the disappointment on his face. “Whatever you say,” he mumbled, even though he didn’t seem convinced.
I was sick of his pathetic ass already. “Listen . . .” I tried to keep the panic from my voice. “What did you tell Donovan?”
Kenyon gazed up at the ceiling like he was collecting his thoughts. “Baby, I told him the truth.”
“Which is . . . ?” Damn, this was too much like pulling teeth.
He grinned. “That we were in love.”
I was seconds away from jumping across the table.
Kenyon sensed my anger. “Baby . . . baby, I couldn’t lie. Part of my therapy is telling the truth, and I thought by being honest with your husband I could move past the betrayal.”
This was way too much. How I wished I had just been honest and told Donovan about the affair when he had first returned from Iraq. If I had, none of this would have happened. Instead, I had to deal with the lies, deceit that led to my own husband trying to kill me.
“Kenyon, I—”
“Baby?” he cut me off.
M
y brows rose. “Yeah?”
“Can you call me your baby? Just once.”
Had he lost his mind? I had a hard enough time believing I used to have sex with him. I wasn’t about to call this nutcase baby. That was before he sulked on the seat and suddenly looked bored with the entire conversation.
“Kenyon . . .” When he frowned, I quickly started again. “Baby . . .” Oh, that nut was grinning brighter than a ninety-degree day. “Baby, please, I need to know what Donovan talked to you about.”
“Well, he wanted to know if Aiden was mine and when I neither admitted nor confirmed that he was, he got angry.”
“Angry how?” I asked, nibbling nervously at my bottom lip.
“He said something about serving his country and this being the thanks he got. That he had friends who lost their lives and their wives left to raise their child on their own and one woman had lost both her husband and her baby.”
I was so sick of Donovan singing Smitty’s wife’s praises all the time like she was the only one who had gone through anything. At least her husband had died in combat. Mine had come back broken. I wasn’t sure which was worse.
“What else did he say?” I asked, growing impatient.
“He asked if I had any family and when I told him yes, I have five sisters who live in Hannibal, he got up and left.”
Family, what the hell was he planning to do, drop Aiden off with one of them?
“Baby, is something on your mind?”
Kenyon always could read me. But there was no way in hell I was letting him know any more than he needed to know about my personal life. If Donovan didn’t pull through, Kenyon might think we had another chance to be together again. I definitely couldn’t have that.
“Kenyon, I hope you get better so you can finally get out of here and get on with your life.”
He stared across the table at me with those beautiful chocolate eyes of his and I felt myself remembering again some of the good times. “Baby, can I call you when I get out?”
I shut my eyes. “No, you can’t call me and I’m not your baby. I am the woman responsible for putting you in here! I came here so you can get your closure, so shut the door, dammit, and don’t ever open it again.”
“I’d really like to come by your bookstore sometime.”
“No!” I screamed. “If you want a book, then go to Walmart. Just stay away from my family and me. Listen . . . I love my husband and my son.”
“But your husband said he wasn’t going to be raising another man’s son.”
“But Aiden isn’t another man’s son.” I felt like I had stepped through the twilight zone because this conversation was one big circle. “Wait a minute. When did he say that?”
Kenyon looked puzzled by my question. “He said it just before he rose and stormed out of the room.”
37
Nikki
“You’re listening to Truth Hurts and if you’re just tuning in, tonight we’ve been talking about deadbeat dads. Yeah, I said it. Deadbeats. A sperm donor. Women have no choice but to be strong because we’ve assumed the roles of our children’s fathers.” At children, my voice cracked. I cleared my throat, then continued, “Ladies, the phone lines are open. Call and share your stories.” The phone lines were lit up and Tristan signaled for me to pick up the first line. “Caller, you’re on the air.”
“Good evening, Ms. Nikki, my name is Jae.”
I loved it when my listeners remembered to address me as Ms. “What’s going on, Jae? Let me guess . . . you got a deadbeat daddy?” I asked, getting really close to the microphone.
There was a long pause and for a moment I thought maybe she had hung up. “Hellllo . . . Jae, you still there?”
“Yes, I’m here.”
“Please, tell us about your baby’s daddy.”
“He’s locked up. ”
“Oooh! Another one of those.” I laughed. “What did he do?”
“Murder.”
I startled and my eyes snapped to Tristan. “Excuse me?”
There were sniffles and an eerie chill came over me. “He killed my daughter Miasha.”
I wanted to hang up the phone and end the call. The whole reason why I had picked deadbeat dads tonight was because I needed something amusing to lift my spirits so I could stop thinking about Aiden. There was no way with the thousands listening that I didn’t allow her to continue her story. “Jae . . . I’m so sorry for your loss.”
“It’s been three years, but it still hurts.” She got quiet again and I waited, giving her a chance to get herself together. I had an idea of the pain she was feeling. I felt a fraction of it every time I thought about my daughter . . . and Aiden.
“Can you tell us what happened?” I urged.
“He didn’t want to pay child support. Can you believe that shit? He was behind two years in payments. So when he got a good job with the state, they started garnishing his check.”
“Was he present in Miasha’a life?” I had to know if he had at least been a father to this child, even though that revelation would have only made understanding that much harder.
“Oh yeah. He and his girlfriend came around every other weekend and spent Saturdays with her. Our relationship ended long before she was even born, so I didn’t have a problem with it, but then one weekend he picked Miasha up and didn’t bring her back.” Her breathing grew heavy. “I called him, went by his house and nothing. I couldn’t find him anywhere. I was going crazy looking for my daughter, and yet no one knew where she was.”
I sat frozen in the seat, hands shaking. “And then what happened?”
“I went to the police and filed a report, but they couldn’t find him or my daughter. Then three days later, his girlfriend called and told me she thought something bad had happened to Miasha, and to look behind this old abandoned gas station off of Hanley Road. I was so scared I called the police and had them meet me out there.” She was crying softly into the phone and a chill ran through my veins. I wasn’t sure if she could go on and I didn’t blame her if she couldn’t.
“It took them less than fifteen minutes to find her wrapped in a sheet in a storage closet!” she wailed into the phone.
“I’m s-so s-sorry.” I was shaking and tears were running down my face. “No mother should have to go through that.”
“He strangled her. He said he did it because he was sick of paying child support. Can you believe that shit! He didn’t want to pay child support.” The phone line went dead and I was so stunned I couldn’t say or do anything except stare across the glass at Tristan. Within seconds I heard Adele coming on the air. I dropped my microphone and slid back away from the desk.
Ohmygod . . . ohmygod . . . ohmygod . . . what if Aiden is dead?
I saw Tristan rise from his chair and dash over to my room. “Nikki . . . gurrl, you okay?” He immediately wrapped his arms around me and held me close while I cried hard against his chest. “Oh my goodness, you’re shaking!”
I tried to speak, but my lip was quivering so hard I just couldn’t put what I wanted to say to words. I didn’t need to. Tristan already knew what I was thinking.
“Listen to me . . . Aiden is not dead. He is out there somewhere waiting for his mama to come and get him.”
I knew he was trying to make me feel better, but I was sick of waiting for someone to find my son. It had been almost two weeks. The longest twelve days of my life. I wanted Aiden back safely at home where he belonged.
“I don’t know what to believe anymore. Something is . . . is terribly wrong with this whole situation. If he was out there, then w-why hasn’t anyone brought him to me? W-Why haven’t the police been able to find him!” My teeth were chattering.
Tristan drew a deep, shaky breath. “I don’t know why, but he’s out there. I feel it in my gut.”
He was right. I felt it as well. My baby wasn’t dead. A mother knows when something was wrong with her child, and I didn’t feel like he had been harmed. So then where was he?
Tristan released me, th
en gazed down at my face, his forehead creased with concern. “How about I put on a CD for the rest of the show?”
I sniffed, then shook my head. I had a brilliant idea. “No, don’t do that. I want to go back on the air.”
Tristan gave me a weird look. “Oh, Nikki, I don’t know. You sure about that?”
“Yes, I’m sure. The police can’t help me, but I am confident that one of my listeners out there can.”
He hesitated, almost too afraid to leave me because there was no telling what might happen if he did. I swung my chair back over to my desk and signaled for him to go back to his office as I put the headphones over my head.
At the close of the song, Tristan put his fingers in the air and signaled four . . . three . . . two . . . one . . . “You are tuning in to Truth Hurts and I am your hostess with the mostest, Nikki Truth. Tonight we had a startling story about a deadbeat father that I’m sure ripped at the hearts of many of us. I know it did for me. My prayers go out to Jae and her family. No one can begin to describe how much it hurts to lose a child. As most of my listeners know, several years ago I also lost a daughter when she ran out into the street and was hit by a car.” I paused a moment to catch my breath. “Right now, I’m going to change it up a bit and we’re going to talk about a good man.” I reached for a Kleenex and mopped my eyes as I spoke. “I am married to a good man. He’s such a good man he dedicated his life to serving this country. As most of you already know, my husband has been down range twice, once in Iraq and the other in Afghanistan. He’s been home almost a year, yet it took months before I realized he suffers with PTSD. Mood swings, heavy drinking, insomnia, and the tragic nightmares. His case was so severe that almost two weeks ago he tried to shoot me, but instead he accidently shot himself.” My voice had trailed off to a whisper, so I cleared my throat. “Now he’s lying in the hospital in a coma fighting for his life. The big problem is before he was shot, he took our three-year-old son somewhere. Where? I don’t know, and I haven’t seen my baby since. I have no idea where he is and my husband isn’t conscious to tell me. And even if he wakes up tomorrow, there’s a chance he might not even remember. Now I’m grieving for not only my husband, but for my son . . . Aiden. I have no idea where he is or . . .” my voice broke.“. . . or where else to look, but I’m hoping someone out there knows something and can help me find him. So please . . . if you know something . . . anything . . . please call me. All I want is m-my b-baby back.” I ripped the headphones from my ear and leaned back onto the seat and tried to pull myself together. I’d dealt with difficult issues on the show before, but this one was truly my biggest yet.
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