Ecstasy Wears Emeralds

by Renee Bernard

  “On my way to Blackwell’s, I was going to take a headache powder but discovered by accident that it was poison. I went to Rutherford’s instead, and Michael pushed me to consider that the poisoner might be a member of the household. And when I refused to believe it could be one of my own, because they’re like family, it occurred to me that not everyone feels the same. Lately everyone I know in my field has been harping on how sentimental I am, and indulgent . . . because not everyone is when they run a business. And I thought of Fitzroy, and I knew I had to ask him the same questions that Michael was pressing on me. It started to come together, and when Fitzroy said that James had left for a delivery to my home and was already there and that we could just ask him directly—I just knew. I flew back to the brownstone while Michael went to the police to get help. As for the bells, anyone can trigger them, can’t they? So I had Carter pull the bell to signal that I’d left to try to put Peter off his game. Then I came up to try to delay him long enough for the others to arrive and arrest him.”

  “And it worked. It was mesmerizing, Rowan, to hear you speak.”

  Reaching over to his bedside table, Rowan poured a glass of warmed cider out of the pitcher that Mrs. Evans had sent up and offered it to her. “I was going to try bribing him next, but that’s when it all fell apart.”

  “No, thank you,” she said, changing to the wire for one particularly elusive sliver at the crown of his head. “What was that about the Jaded? How do they come into play with all of this?”

  “It’s a long story, Miss Renshaw.”

  “Just this once, Rowan. I-I would very much like to hear you tell a long story.”

  For a moment, she was sure he would refuse, and that like Charlotte’s tale, he would shield her from some truth in his past. But he took a deep breath, crossed his arms defensively, and spoke. “While I was India, my wild notion about tropical fevers had me off in Bengal, and when the Troubles began, I’m sad to say, I was obliviously filling up notebooks and rattling around with bug traps and my medical kit. My guides, however, were happy to deliver an Englishman to some insane raja who had decided to collect them. I never knew why, Gayle, but I spent most of my time in India in a dungeon in the dark wishing I’d stayed in London. There, the unheroic truth!”

  “Oh!” Gayle was astonished.

  “The other men I met in that hole became my very best companions, and I would not be standing here if it weren’t for them. We had had no hope of escape, when suddenly, there was some sort of horrific attack on the place where we were held, and in all of the damage and confusion, the dungeon opened up and we walked out. Of the original eight, only six of us survived.”

  “The Jaded,” she whispered, her brain beginning to spin with the implications of his tale. “But how is surviving such a dreadful experience a thing to make you all fearful of some murderer? Why are you being pursued?”

  “Apparently, the treasure rooms weren’t far off from where we were and . . . we picked up a few pocketfuls on our way out the door. At the time, it was simply because we expected to have to bribe our way across the country, and after over a year, it didn’t seem outlandish to think the landlord owed us a bit of compensation for our time. Naturally, we’ve kept all of that secret. I’m telling you only because I trust you with my life, Gayle.”

  “Thank you,” she echoed, amazed. She put down her tools and pressed the cloth against his head, hoping to soothe his cuts. Then she put everything down to sit on the edge of the bed facing him. “Your secrets are safe with me.”

  “The bad news is that apparently, amidst all the jewels we took, we acquired something that has earned us a terrible enemy.”

  “What is it?”

  “We don’t know. If we knew, trust me, we’d be happy to return it to its owner if the price of keeping it is our lives—or the lives of those we love.”

  She shook her head, smiling sadly. “But, it’s . . . so fantastical. I’m trying to picture you like a pirate with a hidden box buried in your garden full of diamonds, and it’s—so silly.”

  “That would be silly. But my share was emeralds, and I’ve already told you where they’re hidden.”

  “What! You never did!” She fisted her hands at her hips, slightly affronted. “I would have remembered a conversation like that, Rowan!”

  “I told you that my fortune was tucked away in the books in my study. I meant it literally. I had the emeralds sewn into the spines of my reference books and favorite novels for safekeeping. Last year when the house was overrun in a search for the jewels, the thieves tore apart my furniture and upended everything. But they never thought to bother with dusty medical tomes or the family Bible.”

  “Then you really are the first West to make his fortunes on his travels.”

  “I’m not sure my father would have been proud of the accomplishment. Stumbling into wealth isn’t the same as earning it, Gayle. The Jaded have been wise enough to know it and steer clear of unwanted attention. At least, until recently . . .”

  “My! You do lead a life of adventure, don’t you?”

  “Not always by choice,” he conceded. “But now you understand why it’s for the best that you’ve determined to leave.”

  “I don’t want to go.”

  “Your bags are packed. Women intent on staying don’t generally pack their things.”

  “I didn’t . . . know what else to do. You’d left and after Aunt Jane went home, I . . . I don’t want to go.”

  “I don’t want you here.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  He held his ground, the granite in his eyes unyielding. “I’m not going to argue about this.”

  “Rowan, there have been so many misunderstandings between us—all of them fall at my feet. You have to accept that I’m so sorry for—”

  He stood abruptly and took a step back. “Don’t. Don’t apologize. You are just as you should be, and if we’ve clashed, it’s because we are each of us dancing over daggers and refusing to look down.”

  “I want to stay with you, Rowan.” She also stood, stubbornly matching his every move.

  “Your imaginary tour of the Continent is over, Gayle. For all your talk of independence and a lack of concern about anyone’s opinions, you certainly went to great lengths to lie about where you were.” He shifted his weight to lean against the bedpost. “Maybe it’s time to stop lying and go home to Standish Crossing.”

  She stomped her foot in frustration. “It was a mistake to lie to Aunt Jane! But I’m not going anywhere, and if there’s a gauntlet to be run, I’ll do it. I’ve stood up to her, Rowan. I’ve made my choice, and it’s you.”

  “And what of Charlotte? Have you decided to forgive me, Gayle, and just put the past aside?”

  She started to say yes, but something in his eyes caught her attention and she froze. I was going to, wasn’t I? Because if you were so careless in your youth and so thoughtless, then . . . But Rowan was never careless or thoughtless. If he thought nothing of such things, then why not be careless with me? I was blackmailing him. I was horrible. What better way to keep me from interfering with the male world of medicine than to show me my place. If he truly were that kind of villain . . . he would never have protected me from an unwanted pregnancy.

  But he had.

  He’d been careful.

  I begged him to use me in that carriage.

  Even in the heat of searing passion, Rowan had been careful.

  Rowan took a step closer, studying her face. “Yes?”

  “You told me once to use my own observations—not to rely on emotional sources to draw my conclusions and . . .”

  “Yes?” he asked, the intensity of the question dismissing the last of her fears.

  “You didn’t overcome Charlotte. You never touched her, did you?”

  He shook his head. “I never did.”

  “You never did. But Aunt Jane . . . It was natural to blame you and you let her.”

  “I let her.”

  “Because you did love Char
lotte and you wanted to protect her mother from the truth.”

  “Yes. I let it happen because the death of a child is a staggering blow. How could I add to Mrs. Hamilton’s agony and smear the good name of her darling girl? To what end? Finger-pointing and some horrible hunt for the heartbroken boy residing somewhere in Standish Crossing? So that his life could be ruined, too?”

  “But you’d have been cleared. Your reputation restored.”

  “It was too high a price to pay. And the shadow of it hadn’t touched me here, until . . .”

  “Until I arrived and brought all of those troubles to your doorstep. And you’d come from Lady Pringley’s! My God, the gossip that woman will create will ruin you!”

  He shook his head. “Hardly. I averted most of it, and Lady Pringley’s innate curiosity will keep her tethered to me forever. Women of good breeding have a strange weakness for men with dark and mysterious pasts.” His smile was full of painful irony.

  “I don’t have a weakness for men with dark and mysterious pasts.”

  “No?”

  “I have a weakness for you, but we’ve already established that you are the furthest thing from a villain imaginable, so my tastes clearly run toward respectable, handsome, kind doctors.”

  “One ghost banished doesn’t solve our problems, Gayle. Whatever enemies I have, they aren’t going to give up just because one of their puppets failed. You cannot stay.”

  “I’m not going anywhere!” She reached out and caught his arm. “If you know anything of me, surely you know that once I’ve set my mind on something, it’s impossible to dissuade me.”

  “I can’t—”

  “I have a contract and a teacher. I have a friend and a lover. I have a home and a family. All my dreams, Rowan, are just within my reach, and all I have to do is not let go. I can’t let go.” Her eyes filled with tears. “I love you, Rowan.”

  He said nothing, and she seized on her chance.

  “I’ve fought you on every turn. I thought that if I loved you I would be diminished into something or someone else. All my life, I’ve been less because I was a woman and told that I couldn’t do what I wanted. But you’ve never said no. You’ve never made me feel like I was less of a physician or less of a person. And when you look at me, Rowan, God help me, I feel like I’m more.”

  “It would have been kinder to refuse you that night, Gayle, when you appeared in my home and demanded that I take you on as an apprentice.” He ran a hand through his dark russet hair, his expression full of agitation and uncertainty. “A better man would have thought to protect you, even then. I want you to achieve your dream, but I know just how cruel and unyielding the world can be, and I don’t know if I can bear to see you hurt.”

  “I can bear anything if I have you, Rowan.” She gently caught his bloodied sleeve in her hand, her fingers moving up his arm above his injuries. “Anything.”

  “You could have said as much earlier and spared me some pain, Gayle.” It was a gentle admonishment and she felt the weight of all her fears disappear like so much smoke.

  “There wasn’t time.” She reached up to touch his face. “It seems when I’m not thinking, the words fly, but when it’s truly important, I require preparation.”

  “And what have you prepared to say at this moment?”

  “I was going to say something very eloquent about how you are the man for me and that I couldn’t have fashioned a better one. I was going to insist that you marry me even if I do have a terrible temper and a wretched talent for eavesdropping.”

  “A husband is going to get in the way of your achievements. You told Caroline as much.”

  “Now who is guilty of eavesdropping? A husband might present a problem, but my husband will let me use his microscope—and hide under his tables without yelling at me for making tonics that smell like bile.”

  He smiled and put his hand on the small of her back to pull her closer. “He does sound perfect. Does your husband still have the final word . . . over anything?”

  “I am sure to be the meekest and most obedient wife in the world.” The lie was as sweet as butter on her tongue, and she couldn’t stop the blush that crept across her cheeks at the merriment in his eyes.

  “You are the most delicious liar, Miss Renshaw, and the devil’s own when it comes to getting your own way—you realize this?”

  “But I have the handwriting of an angel,” she reminded him softly.

  “And what of Whitfield and Jessop and the hundreds of others like them who are going to spit insults when they hear I’ve married my apprentice?”

  “We’ll outwit them. You’ll casually mention that you’ve married a wealthy young woman fascinated by medicine and entirely supportive of your research. As a wise man once said, we’ll let the old goats fill in the gaps as they wish.”

  “A wise man said that?”

  “The most brilliant man I’ve ever known.”

  He pulled her into his arms. “You do know the way to my heart, don’t you, Gayle Renshaw?”

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  Epilogue

  The church was glowing with candles set amidst evergreen finery and holly rings, with garlands hanging from every archway to herald the Yule season and the upcoming new year. It was a small gathering of the Jaded and their closest family inside the ancient stone chapel at Bellewood, and the chill of that Christmas morning was forgotten in the warmth and beauty of the occasion.

  The bride wore a dress of Lady Winters’s clever design, and the groom had deigned to wear a new coat and hat to honor the day. Rowan and Gayle exchanged their vows, and then everyone burst into cheers at the sight of the beaming couple stepping back through the arches out into the daylight. The emerald ring on Gayle’s hand gleamed and sparkled with an evergreen fire all its own, and the men exchanged knowing glances at its significance.

  The wedding party made their way quickly back to the warm hearth and hospitality of the home of Ashe’s grandfather, Mr. Gordon Blackwell, and glasses were immediately raised to toast the doctor and his wife’s health and happiness.

  The bachelors in their midst made a subdued effort not to roll their eyes or enter into any debates that might draw attention to their dwindling numbers, but dutifully drank after each toast was made. Only Josiah Hastings wasn’t present to raise his glass, but they still had numbers enough to hold their own against the growing pro-matrimony faction.

  Caroline and Haley pulled Gayle aside to escape the open rivalry and manly camaraderie that was taking over the small party. “We wanted to wish you happy, Mrs. West. And now, naturally, we’ll insist that we use our Christian names and become the best of friends.”

  “I’d like that. I’d like that very much.” Gayle’s eyes misted at the sincerity of their offer, thrilled to have found two such allies. “Do you think the men have any idea of the coalition forming in their midst?”

  The women shook their heads and laughed. It was Haley who answered, “No, and I don’t see any reason to enlighten them!”

  Ashe came up behind his wife, a glass of wine in hand for her. “Would you like a chair, ladies? Grandfather Walker just pointed out that there are three very comfortable places by the fire. . . .”

  “You’re hovering again!” Caroline chided, but a blush revealed that she was not unaffected by his attention. “I am well enough to visit in an ice house if I choose, Mr. Blackwell.”

  “Of course, you are, darling! I can ask Rowan and Gayle to move the party outside if you’d like to prove it since we’re expecting snow, but if you indulge me and sit nearer the warmth, then the Old Monster will commend me for my thoughtfulness and stop glaring at me.” Ashe’s smile was a wanton and wicked thing to behold, and Gayle had to avert her gaze since the pair seemed to have forgotten she and Haley were there.

  “Ashe! You rogue! I’ll . . . sit by the fire, but only because . . .” Her blush deepened. “You are impossible!”

  The women dutifully moved to sit by the fireplace, and Gayle almo
st laughed as Caroline waved away her overprotective husband. “Ever since—the difficulty—the man has been . . . very attentive,” Caroline finished, her color subsiding slowly as Ashe retreated. “I think he’ll wrap me in cotton-wool batting and lock me in my room when he finds out we’re expecting again.”

  “Congratulations!” Haley exclaimed.

  “Are you?” Gayle asked softly, instantly excited at the wonderful news.

  “I believe we are. I’m going to tell him tonight as a Christmas present.” She reached out to grasp their hands. “I’m a little nervous, so I’ve told you for practice just to make sure that when I said it out loud, the world didn’t fall away.”

  “If he locks you up in a garret, just send a note by pigeon, and Rowan and I will rescue you.” Gayle squeezed her hand.

  Haley nodded. “I can always send Aunt Alice to draw him off so that you can slip out for a visit. She’s fearless!”

  Gayle looked for Rowan to enjoy the sight of him so relaxed and happy amidst friends. It was the perfect occasion for new beginnings and she couldn’t wait to tell Rowan his fears had proven false.

  “It’s hard to imagine, isn’t it?” Caroline asked softly. “Your life without him. But it wasn’t long ago when you’d have traded him for a bonnet. . . .”

  “Did I say that?” Gayle put a hand on her chest in mock horror. “You must have misunderstood me.”

  Rowan approached. “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I wish to steal my wife away for just a moment.”

  Gayle went with him, curious about his purpose as he led her out of the room and down the hall to a quiet alcove overlooking the garden. It had begun to snow, and for a minute, they both just watched it fall and transform the world outside.

  “What are you thinking?” he asked, the warmth of his breath against the outside shell of her ear making her shiver with delight.