Worth Every Risk

by Laine, Terri E.

That satisfies her and she switches her gaze back to the movie.

  Not much after that, her head droops and she’s sound asleep. I carry her to bed, tucking her in, and stand there staring at this beautiful child. There is no way in fucking hell anything serious is wrong. Only a bump in the road, and they’ll patch her up and send her on the way.

  Andi stands in the doorway observing. When I turn, she backs out of the room.

  “She’s good. You’ll see.” I’m not sure if I say that for her benefit or mine.

  A couple of days later, Max calls.

  “Chase, I’ve gotten word from the PI we hired to tail Lucia. In the past several weeks, she hasn’t made any visits to an obstetrician, and as far as we can tell, isn’t planning on it. They’ve gotten a list of her phone records going back several months and she hasn’t made any calls to any doctors at all. I think she’s scamming you.”

  This isn’t a surprise. I say, “Just as I suspected.”

  Max isn’t finished. “That’s not all. She’s going out and partying. We have pictures of her at clubs, drinking and dancing. If she’s pregnant, she shouldn’t be smoking either. But she is. I have the evidence. Also, she sure is thin for being pregnant. Not that every woman shows, but by my calculations, the last time you two were together was at least six months ago, so that would put her at least that far along.”

  “Yeah. I’m almost positive she’s not pregnant. What do you recommend?”

  “I think we should confront her, and I say we because you don’t need to go in without a witness. I’ll go with you when you show her the pictures and phone records. Then you tell her to leave you alone. If she persists, you end the rent on her lavish apartment. That should take care of things. If it doesn’t, we move in with a restraining order to get her to stop stalking you.”

  After a moment of thought, I say, “I agree. With everything going on here, I don’t need her around to add to the stress level for Andi. “When can we do this?”

  I can hear Max shuffling some papers. Then he says, “Is tomorrow okay? I know it’s Saturday, but if you can call her and ask to see her, we can get this over with.”

  “Sure. I want to check with Andi first. I promised to keep her in the loop.”

  Max and I end our call and I immediately find Andi to explain everything to her.

  Andi pulls in a long breath. “Wow, I can’t believe she lied about something like that. Actually, I take that back. Am I being selfish that I’m actually relieved? I can only hope she doesn’t continue to just show up.”

  “Believe me, I’m just happy to have the truth. And don’t worry about her. You have the extra security too. Max and I are planning to go over to her place tomorrow and confront her about this. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”

  “No. You should go and get it over with.”

  Leaning into the woman I love with all my heart, I wrap my arm around her and hug her. Then I find her lips, pressing mine to hers. “Thank you for being so patient with me.”

  Now I have to call that lunatic. Fortunately, she answers and agrees to see me the next day, so I call Max to let him know.

  Then I look at Andi. “I’m relieved too. But more importantly, I’m in love with you. I hope you realize that.”

  Though I’d said it the night before, she looks speechless. I slide my arm around her. “Team Wilde, right?”

  “Yes. Team Wilde.”

  I remember the words of wisdom my coach shared with me.

  “My coach told me something the other day, and you need to hear this. The fear of the unknown is what kills athletes. They let it fuck with their heads. We’re not going to let fear fuck with ours when it comes to dealing with whatever is going on with Violet. We’re going to face it head-on with two feet planted firmly on the ground, and fight it with everything we’ve got. You got that? Because you and me … we are a team.”

  She stands on her tiptoes and winds her arms around my neck. “Thank you, Chase. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Then she plants her lips on mine. When she pulls away, I lighten the mood and slap her on the ass.

  “Okay, tiger, you can talk to me like a player, but none of that locker room stuff.”

  “Hmm. And here all this time I thought you liked an ass slap here and there.”

  We’re interrupted by a two-year-old as she halfway runs into us, yelling, “Hungy, Mama.”

  The following morning, Max and I show up at Lucia’s. Her eyes betray her shock when she opens the door to see the two of us standing there.

  “Max. I didn’t know you’d be coming too.”

  That’s obvious. She’s wearing a silk nightgown you can see her nipples through. Evidently, she had different ideas about this meeting.

  Max, God love him, doesn’t break stride. He walks in and briskly says, “Buongiorno, Lucia.” He doesn’t stop until he gets to her table in the kitchen, which can be seen from the entryway.

  I follow, keeping an eye on her and hiding my grin. She’s in for a shock.

  She’s my problem. I figure I’ll start this painful conversation. “Lucia, we came here to discuss the issue of your pregnancy.”

  Her hands immediately fly to her belly, which is a mistake, because that silk gown only emphasizes how flat it is.

  “Oh, yes, Chase, I’ve been meaning to tell you when my next appointment is.”

  Max doesn’t wait for me to comment. He gets right to it. “Stop with the lies, Lucia. There is no appointment because there is no baby.” He commences to pull everything out of his folder that he carried in. First, he pulls out the phone records, then the pictures. “I believe if you were pregnant, one of these calls would’ve been made to an obstetrician, which they weren’t. Also, these are pictures of you. You can see the dates on them. You’re smoking and drinking. It doesn’t look like the behavior of a pregnant woman.” Finally, he pulls out a pregnancy test and hands it to her. “Here, go take this now to prove you’re pregnant.”

  She starts bawling her eyes out and begging me to come back.

  “Stop it, Lucia. I’m not coming back now, or ever. If you don’t stop with this ridiculous behavior, I’ll get a restraining order on you. This is the last time I want to deal with you.”

  Max pulls out a piece of paper. It states that Lucia admits she’s not pregnant. Technically, it’s not a legal document, but at least it’s her admission she’s not pregnant. She signs it along with the two of us. Then we leave.

  “You think that’ll work?”

  “She’s not pregnant. She can’t create a baby out of thin air. She has no legal binding on you.”

  Shaking my head, I say, “That’s not what I meant. I was thinking more on the stalking level.”

  Max pats my shoulder. “That’s what the added security is for. Now go home and be with your family.”

  When I walk in the door, my smile fades. One look at Andi and my gut twists. She doesn’t even have to tell me. I know my little one has another fever and I want to punch my hand through a wall. Instead, I take Andi’s hand firmly and say, “Team Wilde, remember?”

  Thirty-One

  Andi

  Every fever, every night until the doctor’s appointment, I worry. If not for Chase’s comforting presence, I probably wouldn’t have gotten one hour of sleep. As it is, I get a few hours a night.

  “You have to tell Mom and Dad,” Mark says. “You can’t keep any more secrets.”

  It’s the same thing Beth says when I call her and tell her about my fears for Violet. I miss her so much.

  “I promise I’ll tell them. Can you give me until after the doctor visit tomorrow?”

  “Andi—”

  “Mark, what if it’s just basic anemia that an iron supplement can fix? Why worry them for nothing?”

  He sighs. “Fine. But no matter what, promise me you’ll tell them.”

  “I promise.”

  “So what’s going on with you and Chase? Is he still pissed?”

  He’s told me he loved me twice. And I know he’s co
mmitted to our family, but I don’t say any of that to my brother.

  “No. I think he’s forgiven me.”

  “But?”

  “But, I can’t expect anything more.”

  “You deserve happiness.”

  “Do I?” I shoot back.

  “I don’t agree with how you went about things, but even I know you thought you were doing right.”

  “And I’ve made a mess of everything. If something’s wrong with Violet, it’s my fault.”

  “How can you say that?”

  “I don’t know if my biological parents have this type of problem in their DNA. Maybe if I’d known …”

  “You’d what? You wouldn’t have had Violet? Come on, Andi. You’re better than this. You just need to get some sleep. Violet’s going to be fine. Mom, Dad, and I can come to Italy if you want?”

  “Mom was just here, and you’ve just started your own business. Maybe we can come home if Chase agrees.”

  “I think it’s better if we come there.”

  What he doesn’t say is that I shouldn’t take any Violet time from Chase.

  “You’re right. I just miss home.”

  Italy is beautiful, but I miss Beth, Chicago, work …

  “Hang in there.”

  “Thanks, Mark.”

  When we hang up, I sit looking at the four walls in my room and feel claustrophobic. I pull my hair into a messy bun on top of my head and head out into the darkened hallway. Faint light shimmers through the wall of windows. The sky is a dusky purple and calls to me. I pour a glass of wine and walk out into the chilly night. Violet had gone down early and Chase hasn’t come home yet.

  The view from the hilltop home is priceless.

  When a warm body molds against me, I lean into it. Chase’s scent is more familiar to me than my own.

  He kisses the top of my head. “Everything’s going to be okay.”

  I turn in his arms and set my empty glass down. I press my cheek to his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

  “I would give up my own life for her to be okay.”

  “I happen to love your life and intend to spend it with you, so I need you both safe.”

  I lift my head and search his eyes. “You want to spend your life with me?”

  He seems more confused than I feel. “Team Wilde.”

  “Yes, but that’s for Violet. I don’t expect anything more after everything.”

  My emotions are on the cusp of bursting from my eyes in a torrent of tears. He tips my chin up.

  “I have only ever loved one person. And that person is you. I want us to be a family in every way. You, me, and our daughter, we are going to make it through this.”

  “You mean that, don’t you?”

  “When have I ever lied to you?”

  “Never.”

  He kisses me and it lingers as the sun dips, making the sky turn a midnight blue. We end up in his room, where he shows me just what love is. It ends with the most restful night I’ve had in a while. I would need it the next morning.

  With Violet playing in a room with glass separating us, Chase holds my hand as we wait for the doctor. Salt-and-pepper hair crowns the very distinguished-looking man. But it’s his gentle smile that puts me at ease.

  As he speaks, his pristine English comes out in the loveliest accent. “I won’t lie to you. Between your daughter’s CBC panel and her continued fevers, some explained and others not, I suspect as your pediatrician has suggested that this is more than just basic anemia.”

  “Doc, just give it to us straight. What do you think it is?” Chase asks.

  He sits up and flattens his hands together.

  “If I were to venture a guess, I would say her symptoms line up with aplastic anemia.”

  I close my eyes, knowing the news can’t be much worse.

  “How will we know for sure?” Chase asks.

  “We’ll run some additional tests with the sample we’ve taken today.”

  Chase squeezes my hand as if he knows I’m going to shatter to pieces.

  “Will we know for sure what it is?”

  “We are ruling out other things. The only test to confirm an aplastic anemia diagnosis is a bone marrow test.”

  “Is there a cure?” Chase pipes up because my throat has seized.

  My worst nightmare has been realized.

  “I’m afraid not. Though we have great results with a bone marrow transplant.”

  “I’m willing to donate,” we both offer, even though I know better.

  The doctor lifts a hand. “We’re getting ahead of ourselves. Let’s run the test and see. Besides, it’s unlikely either of you would be a match.” When Chase looks as though he will argue, the doctor continues. “We will run the test if you like, assuming it comes to that. But parents are usually not matches. A sibling is more likely a match.”

  “We don’t have any other kids.”

  The doctor nods. “Just something to consider. In the meantime, keep doing what you are doing. Children with this disease are more prone to catch viruses and other illness due to a compromised immune system. This can explain the fevers she’s been having. If this is her diagnosis, there are many options afforded to us to manage the disease.” Violet’s laughter has us looking up, but her arms are raised and the delight on her face takes any fear from my heart. “You have a wonderful child. We are here for you every step of the way.”

  “Next steps,” I finally say.

  “I’ll give you a call. If we need to run the bone marrow test, I’ll get that scheduled.”

  He reaches out a hand and I shake it. Chase does it next before he practically has to lift me from my seat. The idea that Violet could be saddled with this disease kills something inside me.

  Chase rubs my back and I nod at him. He heads into the other room to gather our daughter.

  “Doc?”

  He turns.

  “You mentioned a sibling. What are the chances that if we had another kid, he or she could have the same thing?”

  He bobs his head. “A valid question. There are no guarantees in life. However, this disease is rare. The likelihood is slim that another child would have it.”

  Chase comes back in with Violet, so I don’t bring up that I read that this could be inherited or that I could have unwittingly passed this to our daughter. Guilt continues to eat at me on the ride home.

  Violet is asleep when we arrive home. I cradle her in my arms and remember holding her like this after she was born. When I lay her down in her room, I kiss her head.

  “Sleep well, my love,” I whisper, even though she’s too far in dreamland to hear me.

  Chase is at the door and presses a hand to the small of my back.

  “This is really a bad time, but I have to go to Germany for a few days. You guys are welcome to come, or maybe we can get our moms to come back. I don’t want you to be alone here.”

  I stop in the middle of the hall. “You have a game in Germany?”

  “Not exactly. It’s something we should discuss, but a German club wants me. I’ve put off this visit too long. Max says Germany wants me to come check them out.”

  “But now?”

  He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Time is quickly running out on a winter trade. But I can cancel.”

  I want to be selfish and agree, but I don’t. “No, you should go.”

  “Do you want to come?”

  The idea of being here alone isn’t appealing. At the same time, if Violet really does have aplastic anemia, the last thing she needs is to come in contact with more germs most people could easily fight off.

  “I should stay. You go. Maybe Beth could come.”

  Though that is a crazy idea. I don’t know if she has a passport or time off available.

  “That’s great. You find out and I’ll pay for all her travel arrangements.”

  This man, I’m not sure how I lived without him. I draw him down and kiss him deeply.

  “I love you,” I say, knowing it is more
than love.

  “There is nothing I won’t do for you and Violet.”

  And his words arrow straight to my heart, because they are a statement more prophetic than the three I said.

  “Me too.”

  He scoops me up and leads me to his huge suite. “Your room?”

  “No, ours. If we’re together, we share a bed together. From now and always.” He pointedly waits for me to say something. “Agree?”

  “Yes. Together and forever. You, me, and Violet.”

  Thirty-Two

  Chase

  Germany is the last place I want to go right now, but if I don’t get this taken care of, the trade time will expire. I’ve put this off for as long as I can. Leaving Andi and Violet is more painful than anything I’ve ever experienced—worse than when I walked away from her the first time. If Violet’s diagnosis comes back as the worst-case scenario, I’ll have to make some contingency plans. Andi can’t be left alone with me gallivanting all over the damn place while she’s left to care for Violet alone. That won’t work at all.

  Luckily, Andi’s friend was able to come and stay with her while I’m away. If she hadn’t, I’m not sure how I could’ve left them.

  Max meets me at the airport in Rome and we board the chartered jet. I’m not fit company for anyone.

  “Chase, you need to calm down.”

  “Easy for you to say. My daughter is sick, Max. What I need is to be staying in Rome and not be flying anywhere for this contract bullshit.”

  “Right. But this is your livelihood.”

  I take my seat and think for a minute. If the worst happens, and Violet truly has aplastic anemia, there’s no way I’ll be able to travel constantly. What the hell am I thinking? I cross my ankle over my thigh and huff.

  “What is it?”

  “I can’t do this, Max.” My head swings back and forth as I weigh out my options.

  “What do you mean?”

  My arms fly out as I begin to explain. “It’s easy really, when you think about it. I can’t be here when they’re there. If Violet has to undergo treatments, I have to be there.” My finger points in the direction of where I believe my house is.