He lunged, and she stepped aside just in time. Time to think of it later. She should keep her mind on her current bout. More than likely, he was going easy on her. She needed to make sure she didn’t disgrace herself.
At one point, they came face-to-face, no more than a hairsbreadth apart, his breath hot on her hair.
“Do you yield?” he whispered, his voice hoarse, eyes dark and indecipherable.
“To you?” She licked her lips and smiled at the twitch his mouth made in response. “I thought you knew me better.”
He leaned in, breathing heavy. She could taste him and willed him nearer. His eyes closed.
Almost.
But he moaned seconds before their lips touched and pulled away.
They returned to their starting positions. Lexy steeled herself and let out a deep breath. She didn’t feel like fencing anymore.
On the next move, Lukas suddenly lunged forward in a wild attack that left her spinning.
The hit took her breath away, and she glanced down in surprise to find his sword stuck in the apron above her heart. Did her lungs still work? She took a deep breath, pleased to find they did.
Lukas stood watching, the color drained from his face. “Have I hurt you, Alexia?” His sword fell to the ground.
“No, I’m fine. Just a bit shell-shocked. I wasn’t expecting that last move.”
“If I hurt you…“
“You didn’t.” She took the apron off, checking to make sure the strike hadn’t ripped Ebbe’s shirt. “Don’t worry about it, the whole thing was my idea. Come on, let’s try again.” She slipped the apron back on. “I’ve never seen that last move you did. Teach it to me.”
“No.” His voice was strained, and she knew he would not back down. “Practice is over.”
With that, he spun and walked into the house.
****
“Small dinner, she said!” Lexy exclaimed the next night, leaning forward in her seat to look over the crowded yard at the home of Lord and Lady Rosemund. “She explicitly said, ‘small dinner.’”
She huffed and sat back against the carriage seat. So much for a small, intimate dinner. By all evidence, she’d once again be subjected to meeting hordes of people she had no hope of keeping straight.
“There are no more than ten carriages at present,” Lukas mused. “It is a small dinner.”
She glared at him.
“Perhaps she meant the size of our meal would be small?” he pondered, taking her hand to help her out of the carriage.
“Why, Lukas, that was almost funny.”
“Princess Lexy. Price Lukas! How honored we are you came.” Lady Rosemund interrupted their exchange. “Please, come meet everyone. Dinner is almost ready to be served.”
‘Everyone’ ended up being many of the same people she met at Lord Weston’s. Not long after arriving, they were ushered into the dining room. When shown a seat at the opposite end of the table from Lukas, she didn’t know if she should rejoice or be upset. Once she discovered Lady Rosemund would be sitting next to her, any objections ceased.
After dinner, the group assembled in a music room. A large piano occupied the far corner of the room surrounded by a cluster of chairs. Lexy sat next to Lukas while Lady Rosemund sang to the accompaniment of Miss Honer, a young lady who had spent dinner making eyes at Lukas. While Lexy didn’t recognize the lyrics or music performed, she appreciated Lady Rosemund’s delicate soprano voice.
When Lady Rosemund finished to the applause of the couples gathered, Lord Rosemund stood and addressed the crowd. “Princess Lexy, we would be most honored.”
Her smile, which had been genuine, began to fade as she whispered out the side of her mouth to Lukas. “Most honored about what?”
“For you to sing,” he answered.
“You’ve got to be kidding. No one would recognize the songs I know.”
He shrugged. It was probably like dancing--something she needed to do no matter how uncomfortable it made her. Miss Honer looked at her in question when she reached the piano, but Lexy shook her head. She wouldn’t need accompaniment. She’d have to do this number alone.
Glancing over the crowd, everyone sitting on the edge of their seat in expectation, she sang the first song springing to mind. Amazing Grace. In her mind, she asked the forgiveness of John Newton for singing his song well over two hundred years before its composition.
When she finished, the crowd sat unmoving and not speaking. Lady Rosemund stood and clapped. Everyone else eventually joined. Lexy made her way back to her seat, feeling the stare of every eye in the room on her back.
“What a beautiful song, Princess Lexy,” Lady Rosemund said when she sat down. “Did you learn it in your…exile?”
Exile. How appropriate. “Yes, Lady Rosemund. As a matter of fact, I did.”
****
“You have a beautiful voice, Alexia.” Lukas said on the way back to Hullington.
Her face heated, and she offered a small prayer of thanks for the dark cover of night. “Thank you.”
“A most incredible song. Is it your composition?”
“No.” A nervous laugh escaped her. “A gentleman in the late seventeen hundreds will write it.”
She knew he was thinking about the song and thought maybe she should bring up its meaning, but before she could form a coherent thought, he draped an arm around her. Sitting in the rocking carriage with her in-name-only husband so close she could feel him breathe, any chance of coherency flew straight out of her mind. All she was left with was a realization so startling she spent the rest of the ride home in shocked silence. She had fallen in love with her husband.
****
The next morning, she sat in the gardens thinking about the realization and what, if anything, she should do. Slow, she thought, with small steps forward. Little touches during dinner, “accidentally” brushing against him as they walked together. Maybe in a few weeks she would work up the courage to—
“Princess Lexy.”
She jumped up. Margaret stood nearby, wringing her hands.
“Margaret, come sit down,” she said, indicating the empty spot beside her.
Margaret sat down. “I’m sorry to disturb you. But I had to find you.”
“Don’t apologize. What’s the problem?” If the wringing hands hadn’t tipped her off something was wrong, the fact Margaret sat down with such little prodding would have.
“Ebbe said he has found peace with God.”
Lexy sat up taller. Ebbe? She should have known the kind, quiet man would be the first. “That’s wonderful!”
Margaret nodded and glanced around the garden. “He said all his sins were forgiven, even the ones he hasn’t committed yet.”
“Yes,” Lexy said. “That’s true. Do you want the assurance that your sins are forgiven? That you’ll live forever with Jesus when you die?”
“You can help me?”
“I’d love to. Pray with me.” She took Margaret’s other hand and the two prayed together, Margaret repeating after Lexy. “Dear Lord Jesus. I know I’m a sinner and not worthy of heaven. I know only Your blood can save me. Please forgive me of my sins, wash me clean, and take me to heaven when I die.”
When finished, Margaret couldn’t hide her shy smile. “Thank you, my lady.”
Lexy hugged her. “I’m so happy! You belong to Christ forever. Nothing can ever take that away.”
“I feel so much better.” Margaret wiped her cheeks with her thumbs. “Lighter, I think.”
“I know the feeling.”
Margaret’s eyes sparkled. “I have to find Ebbe.”
Moments later, Lexy felt she floated up the stairs. To think Margaret was a fellow sister in Christ! And Ebbe too. What a glorious feeling. Nothing could dampen her mood, not even Lukas.
Opening the door to their sitting room, she found him facing the window. He turned in slow motion at her entrance.
As he faced her, she knew immediately that something, or Someone, had removed the invisible mask he�
�d always worn. The Lukas standing before her was raw and…broken? She felt she could see to the innermost core of him. But what she saw made her blood run cold.
“Alexia…” He spoke as if it hurt to talk, her name coming out in a coarse whisper. “I…I heard you in the garden with Margaret. I listened to what you said and when she prayed, I did as well.”
Lukas prayed to receive Christ? Could the day possibly get better? “Lukas, that’s wonderful! I’ve been—”
“I made my peace with God, but I am still tormented.” As he spoke, tears gathered in his eyes. He walked to the couch and sat as if no longer possessing the strength to stand.
She felt the urge to reach out, to touch his shoulder or hold his hand, but refrained. He had never claimed her as a true wife and such an act spoke of more intimacy than what they had between them.
He buried his face in his hands and sat for several long minutes.
When he lifted his head, the look in his eyes caused the hair on the back of her neck to stand up. “I knew not,” he said. “I never thought…”
His expression scared her. “Lukas?”
He took a deep breath. “I betrayed you.”
Chapter Fourteen
“What?” she asked blankly. “Today?”
“Yes,” he said. “Today. Yesterday. Every minute of every day since your return.”
Gooseflesh rippled up her arms, and she looked at him confused. “I think you better explain what you’re talking about.”
“I have been in Severon’s employment for the last two years.”
It was as if he hit her. The breath left her body, and she stumbled to a chair. She tried to speak, but nothing came out when she opened her mouth. She swallowed and tried again. “What?”
“I am a spy,” he said. “Under orders to keep watch over you and report Bixby’s movements.”
“Severon knows where I am?” For some reason, that question seemed more important than the fact Lukas had betrayed her. Or perhaps it was the only question she possessed the courage to address at the moment.
“Of course he does. He knew you had been sent to the future from the beginning. He had spies amongst King Torsten’s nobles when you went back.”
She pushed aside the creepy realization that for her entire life an unknown, evil dictator had been watching and waiting for her return. “But if he knows where I am now, why hasn’t he done anything?”
A reasonable question, she thought, considering the lengths everyone took to keep her movements secret. But Lukas paled even further and didn’t move for a long time.
“He waits for me,” he finally said. “I am to let him know when Bixby plans to attack. The battle will be over quickly. Once it is, Severon will have you…” His gaze moved across the room, landing on anything but her.
“Have me what?” she urged.
He blinked several times and took a shuddering breath. “Have you executed for treason. Beheaded in the courtyard of the castle so all will see what becomes of those who oppose him.”
Black spots danced before her eyes, crowding around her vision, and threatening to overtake her.
Across from her, he clenched his fists with such force his knuckles grew white. Her shock and fear blossomed into anger. All directed at him.
“I’m to be killed, and you knew this whole time?” she yelled. “You helped plan it?”
His eyes widened. “I tried! I tried to send you back! When we departed Lord Yager’s, I told Bixby you should go back. Remember? You were so upset. Then at Haddon House, when I rode ahead, I had a message waiting from Severon. That night I tried again to get you to go back. I all but told you.”
“You did no such thing!” she said, appalled he thought he had warned her. “You never said anything about being executed for treason!” Not just executed. Beheaded. The spots reappeared, and she forced herself to take deep breaths.
“I know.” He slumped in his chair. “I handled it poorly.”
“Poorly?” she snapped. “I think that’s the understatement of the year!”
He ignored her outburst. “I thought to change his mind. I sent a message from Haddon House suggesting we work something out. Mayhap send you back to the future or to England. He would have naught to do with it. He wants you dead.”
He stood and walked to the window. “That afternoon in the gardens when I received the message? It was from him. When we met, he informed me if I ever again thought to undermine his plan, he would have me killed as well.”
Everything was starting to make sense to her. “So you went along with it to save yourself. You went along with it, and then you had the nerve to marry me?”
“I refused to consummate the marriage.”
“What? And I should thank you for that?”
“I fought against the marriage in the first place. You know I did. I begged you. You were the one who decided to marry me.”
She couldn’t do it. She could not accept his excuses. Nor could she continue to look in his eyes. He’d convince her if she did. “You should have tried harder.”
“The fight was out of me,” he said. “I had nothing left. I thought betrayal easy, but then I met you, and I knew I could not give you up. Yet I still had to report to Severon, even as I was…There was nothing I knew of to do.”
“Right, because telling the truth, who’d have thought of that?”
“I tell you now,” he said. “Once I accepted Christ, I knew I must tell you.”
She ignored his acceptance of Christ. He’d planned to have her killed. “Gwyneth?”
“Severon’s men. I found them the next day. They told me I was being watched.”
She narrowed her eyes at him. “You are a liar and the scum of the earth! I can’t believe this! I trusted you. We all trusted you.”
But she had done more than trust him. She’d fallen in love with him, spent the last few days trying to decide how to convince him to consummate their marriage. And the whole time, he’d played her the fool, all while carrying out a plan that ended in her death.
“I know,” he said. “But there is something I can do now. You must go back. Bixby will not be victorious. Severon is too strong.”
Yes, she would go back. It was the most sensible thing he’d said so far. She could leave as soon as possible. Except for one thing.
“I don’t know how to get back,” she said. “Even Ebbe doesn’t know.”
“I know how to get you back.”
Suspicion clawed at her. “How do you know?”
“I know where the cave is that took you to the future in the first place. Bixby is right, you cannot go back the way you returned last month. Pardon me for a minute.” He walked to his room.
In his absence, she stood and paced. Thoughts swirled around her mind and made her dizzy. Lukas. Betrayed. Executed. Going back. Beheaded. She rubbed her forehead. A low, dull ache pounded above her eyebrows.
He returned carrying a small bundle he placed on the couch. “I have the clothing you arrived wearing. You should change before entering the cave.”
On top of the bundle, he set a piece of paper. “I made a map, showing the way. It will be a long journey, requiring you to sleep in the open. You must take care, the cave is not far from the castle, and he is in residence.”
Lukas had kept her clothes the entire time. Did that lend truth to his statement he wanted her safe?
He glanced at her in question. “I would offer to go with you, but I do not suppose I would be welcomed.”
She snapped her head up. “I don’t suppose you would,” she said curtly. “How do I know this isn’t some plot you came up with to wash your hands of me forever?”
A pained look covered his face. “If you cannot trust me, Alexia, trust the One who now lives inside me.”
Her heart threatened to soften, but she steeled herself, refusing to give in. “What are you going to tell Ebbe and Margaret?”
“The truth,” he said. “I will continue this battle alongside Bixby. We have no chance of w
inning, but I shall carry on in your father’s name.”
“My parents?” she asked. “Do you know anything about them?”
He shook his head. “No. Severon never told me what became of them.”
She snatched the bundle and walked to the door.
“Alexia?” he called.
Don’t do it. Don’t look back. But she couldn’t help herself and faced his pleading eyes.
“Do you hate me?” he asked in a whisper.
Her gaze fell to her wedding ring and she put the bundle down to jerk the wide band off. “I wouldn’t ask that question if I were you.”
“Please. Keep the ring. I want— ”
“You want?” She stomped toward him, and he winced as she slapped the ring on the table. “How come no one ever asks what I want? Maybe I didn’t want to be sent away from my parents. Did you ever think about that? Or maybe I didn’t want to be brought back here. I most certainly didn’t want to marry you. And yet you think I give two figs about what you want?”
The afternoon sun bounced off one of the diamonds in her ring, taunting her with all she’d never have. Her heart felt hollow. Someday soon she’d weep bitter tears over what could have been.
“You never asked what I wanted.” She turned and walked out the door.
****
The wind whipped her hair from its knot. She pushed an errant strand behind her ear, tipping just a bit on the horse as she did. With a sigh, she pulled her mount back to a slow trot. No need to make Severon’s job easier by killing herself.
The mare snorted and tossed her head in agitation. Lexy petted her neck, murmuring reassuring words. She wondered idly if the groom kept her shocking exit to himself. The poor man practically fainted when she told him to prepare a horse with Ebbe’s saddle. Too bad—no way would she ride sidesaddle for two days.
The Peculiar Princess Page 15