A Kachina Dance

by Beverley Andi

  As we finished, Mark leaves the table and asks Jay to join him on the terrace. I thank Mark silently. Father tags along. Cara and I clear the table and Mother follows us into the kitchen.

  “I could have had my girl come, to help with the dishes,” Mother says.

  “No, that’s the last thing I would want Jay to see, your hired help. This was to be casual, remember?”

  “Well, it is. Now, make the coffee; take out the cake and tarts. There are nice cookies too. Your young man doesn’t talk much, Kate. He seems very shy.”

  “Mother, please stop badgering him with questions. He’ll talk if you give him the chance.”

  “Mother,” says Cara, “Do you remember how nervous you made Mark the first time he came for dinner? I thought I’d never see him again after that night. Ease up, please.”

  “I’m just looking out for the welfare of my girls that’s all.” She walks out of the room with an injured look.

  We start setting the table for dessert. Mother has joined the men telling some jibberish about my many suitors in her loud voice. Then I hear Jay say very clearly, in his soft voice, “I love your daughter.” Every sound in the condo seems to stop except my heart which suddenly pounds loudly in my chest. It’s one thing to have Jay tell me quietly he loves me but to announce it boldly to my family gives me goose bumps.

  Cara hoots, “I like an ardent man; one that shuts up Mother is even better. Kate, you have a powerhouse with a gentle voice. I would love to see Mother’s face at this moment.”

  As we take the elevator down, Jay put his arms around me and asks, “Does your Mother know a lot of Native New York history?”

  “Probably just enough to make dinner conversation or 20 questions, if that’s what you want to call it.”

  “Is your Mother always like that or is she like that because I’m sleeping with her daughter?”

  “Yes to both questions. I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable. I totally understand if you go straight back to Arizona after this. My parents are an acquired taste.”

  Jay laughs and kisses my nose. “To tell you the truth I wasn’t uncomfortable. I was too bemused by all I was seeing. It was like being thrown into a TV sit com.”

  “Well, stay tuned, Thanksgiving dinner will be next.”

  Chapter 8

  By the end of November Jay’s job at the museum has dried up giving him time to paint all day. For a while everything seems fine. Slowly I notice he has trouble painting. His crystalline colors morph into muddy hues. He goes for long walks. He becomes moody. I feel the city is closing in on him. Once he could roam the mountains and paint wherever he chose. I am caging him in a little patch of garden. Winter is here. Soon he won’t even have that tiny backyard to use. It isn’t fair to him to stay. We talk the whole weekend but he doesn’t want to leave. I plead with him to go home for at least the winter months.

  “If I go I’ll only miss you and just turn around and come back again,” he says in his soft voice. “Your Dad said he would drive me to the mountains upstate maybe that will help.”

  “Jay, they’re not the same kind of mountains.”

  “He said he’d drive me to the Hamptons, on Long Island, too. I’ve never been there. The ocean and sand will be new for me. Kate, I’ll be all right. I just have to get used to this city living.”

  I look at his sad face. “I don’t know if I want you to get used to this city.” He’s breaking my heart. I can’t do this to him, he must paint.

  The ball is in my court now.

  ***

  At Christmas I make my announcement, “I’ve resigned from the museum. I’ve given my two weeks’ notice,” I pause until everyone around the family table has time to gasp. I smile and continued, “Jay and I are moving to Santa Fe. We flew down there last weekend and in 48 hours we both got jobs in galleries and rented an apartment.” Jay grins and squeezes my hand under the table while my mother has the vapors and everyone else prattles at once.

  You see it really was a no brainer once I realized we could compromise our life styles and still be happy. Santa Fe gives me the cosmopolitan art atmosphere I’m happy to live and work in and gives Jay the mountains and the desert he loves and needs to paint.

  Mother remains sullen and stoic the rest of the day but calls the next morning to meet for lunch. I try to make excuses but she will accept none. So I leave my darling painter happily packing boxes and trek over to my parent’s apartment. I strain to stay cheerful but I feel nauseous as I ring the bell. It is sure to be an unpleasant grilling.

  “You don’t look so good. Are you sick?” Mother guards the entrance.

  “Oh, my stomach is just a little queasy. I guess it’s all the excitement. I didn’t sleep too much last night.” I kiss my mother and walk in.

  “Humph, too much sex, I think.”

  “Mother, please!”

  “Well, I’ve made a nice lunch. You’ll feel better after you eat.”

  “I thought we were going out. I wanted to take you to that cute little café that opened down the block.”

  “So, we’ll go another time.”

  “But, Mother, I’m leaving in a week. There might not be another time.”

  “Katie, sit down and we’ll talk. You’ll eat a little something and you’ll feel better. I made my nice chicken salad, your favorite. Your Father went out to the bakery this morning and bought nice rye bread and rolls, like you like. See? Who needs the fancy-smancy, cute little café?”

  Glimpsing all the food was not helping my nervous tummy. Usually I devoured my Mother’s chicken salad but today it turned my stomach. I helped myself to some food that I pushed around my plate. “Where is Father?”

  “He said he was going to help Jay pack. I’m surprised you didn’t meet him. You know him, he wants no part of a confrontation. Eat, don’t pick.”

  I had to smile. My Father and Jay had really gotten quite close. They were both quiet men. I always thought Father felt a little in awe of Mark who had tons of degrees in architecture; my brother’s medical degrees were beyond his comprehension, too. Father’s education ended at high school. He found it easy talking to Jay. What surprised me was his interest in the southwest and the Hopi. He asked to borrow some of my books, a first for Father. Though Jay was delighted by Father’s questions, it left him homesick. It was a bittersweet occurrence.

  “Katie, are you listening to me or daydreaming?”

  “Sorry, Mother, I was just thinking how Jay and Father have bonded.”

  “Oh, your Father is an easy mark just like you. Please stop playing with your food.”

  “Maybe I’ll make a sandwich and take it home with me. I just don’t feel good. Maybe I’m coming down with the flu. Some of the people at work had it last week and were out sick for a few days.”

  My mother looks at me closely. “You’re not pregnant, I hope.”

  I laugh, “Of course, I’m not. In this day and age, everyone is having safe sex. Besides, you know I’ve been on the pill since college.”

  “Humph, that doesn’t mean you always remember or he always has a condom.”

  “Mother, I’m not pregnant. Please stop worrying about something that isn’t going to happen.”

  “And what if you were pregnant? Did you ever think what a mixed race baby would look like?”

  “Oh, Mother, really, you’re too much.” I give her one of my most exasperated looks. “I’d be a liar if I said Jay and I haven’t talked about marriage and children. It’s something that might not happen for a long time.” I give her a big smile. “But if I did have Jay’s child, I’d feel very fulfilled.”

  She looks at me with horror and grabs her water glass and takes a gulp.

  “Mother, Jay has a heart of gold, is strong, doesn’t have tattoos, pierced body parts, takes drugs, uses profanity or drinks to excess. He is so much like Father.”

  “Your Father doesn’t wear his hair in a bun and he married me before we slept together. What kind of money does this guy have, do you even know?”
>
  “Ok, first, he wears his hair in a traditional Native Pueblo style. The hair is knotted, Mother. Second, it’s not the dark ages. Today you live together first then marry. Third, I know he has about $20,000.00 from the sale of his last six paintings.”

  She harrumphed.

  “Now what did you call me to talk about today? Is it really a confrontation?”

  “Just this, Miss Smarty Pants, do you know what you’re doing with your life? You come from a privileged background, went to the best of Ivy League schools, had a wonderful job, a promising career and a nice social life. You go on a two week vacation and you say you’re in love with a poor Indian painter who has nothing. You decide to throw everything away and go follow him to God’s country. Katie, you’re a smart girl, this isn’t the movies, where do you think this will end?”

  “I don’t expect you to understand; truthfully even Jay and I don’t understand how all this happened. We’re not impetuous people. Jay is very level-headed and grounded.”

  “Yes, but you’re a sap for the underdog. When you were little you came home with every stray you found. You’re romantizing the hungry artist scenario with an ethnic person, no less. You want to protect him, nurture him and care for him when the cold cruel world beats him down. What happens in a few years to your dreams, Katie? Do you think there will be a happy-ever-after-ending?”

  “I sure hope so but if it doesn’t happen at least I’ll know I gave it a shot. I’ll have no regrets. Don’t you think I’ve thought about all the negatives of this relationship, too? Mother, I am almost 32 years old. I won’t marry anyone just because he has a pedigree and a profession. You should know me better than that. Jay is the only man who has ever made me feel so happy. We come from different worlds yet our chemistry is so right. It’s time to let love into my life.”

  “Eh, chemistry, you can’t live on it. You need money and a husband with a career then you’ll be happy. Katie, you live in a dream world. I’ll ask your brother to talk some sense into you. If you won’t listen to me maybe he’ll make you see how foolish you both are being.”

  I leave the apartment, sandwiches in hand, feeling my Mother just doesn’t get it. I decide to walk back home. It’s a long walk but it’s a warm, sunny afternoon. The fresh air seems to make me feel jubilant and no longer sick. I have an appetite by the time I reach home.

  “Hi sweetheart, I brought some lunch.”

  Jay turns from taping up a carton and gives me his half smile. “I’d love to eat. How did it go?” He takes me in his arms. “You look happy so it wasn’t the inquisition?”

  “Worse, she’ll never understand. But she does make good chicken salad and that I’ll miss.”

  “Hmm, I think there’s going to be a lot you’ll miss.”

  “Well, then you’ll just have to care for my needs. Now sit down, I could eat a horse.”

  As we share my goody bag Jay says casually, “Your Dad was here for a while to help with the packing. He brought some bagels and rolls. We had coffee together. He’s a great guy. Oh, he left this envelope for you. I am to tell you this is between you and him. You are not to tell your mother and you can underline that.” He laughs.

  I open the sealed envelope and find a stack of crisp, new $100 bills inside and gasp. “There must be a couple of thousand here.”

  “Correction, $10,000, and he said it is to be used for our new life together. If we need more, just give him a call.” Jay laughs. “Oh, he asked me how much money I had in the bank. I told him what I had but it wasn’t in the bank; it was under your mattress. He slapped me on the shoulder, laughed, and said, ‘I had less money when I married Katie’s Mother and we did alright’.”

  “Wow, do you think he knows what we’re planning?”

  Jay shrugs his shoulders and gives me a hug and his little smile.

  “Oh, expect a call from my brother tonight. If Mother couldn’t change my mind to stay, she’ll send in the big guns. Did you say there were bagels?”

  “Yeah, ya’ know I’m getting to like bagels, too.”

  ***

  Jay’s just finishing packing the truck. Yup, you guessed it, he wants to drive. Well, at least we’re not taking the bus. We’ll make it fun. Cara and Mark plan on coming down in a few weeks for our wedding. I almost forgot to tell you, Jay proposed in Santa Fe, the weekend we went looking for jobs. We bought the silver wedding bands there, too, from a local Native artist in the square. Don’t tell Mother. It will just be the 4 of us. Cara and Mark have been very supportive.

  I’m hoping Father will give me a down payment on a house since he won’t have to pay for a wedding. I’m sure Mother and Father will be down to visit or should I say inspect our new life. I know Father will have a grand time. He may even sneak a ride on Jay’s motorcycle. Mother, well, after she stops complaining about the heat, she’ll go shopping for some turquoise and silver jewelry and she’ll be fine. She’ll probably make her chicken salad, too.

  I know I keep smiling but I do have some rather unexpected news to tell Jay later. It looks like I don’t have the flu after all, it’s morning sickness.

  Mother was right after all!

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