Bulky & Beauteous

by Mary E Thompson

  She ducked her head and blushed. She’d been thinking about sex far too much for that to ever be the reality.

  “If you’re thinking about it then you’re probably starting toward being ready, but the most important thing is that you want to and not that you’re being pressured into it.”

  Kendall shook her head adamantly. If Braden was pushing, he was doing it very well because she wasn’t feeling like he was forcing her to make that choice. At least, it didn’t seem that way.

  “No, I’m not being forced or anything. It’s just something we’ve talked about. I mean, Braden has before and he was telling me how much closer it brought him and her, and how he wants to share that with me too. How, for girls, they have sex because they’re in love, but guys, well, he said guys have sex to fall in love. Like they don’t really love someone until they sleep with them. And I, well, I love Braden. At least I think I do.”

  Think. I hated when people used ‘think’ and ‘love’ in the same sentence. It never ended well.

  “Kendall, I hate to sound like a mean grown up when I say this, but if you aren’t sure if you’re in love with him then you aren’t. If you have to question it, then you’re not really in love with him. And as for guys having to have sex to fall in love… I’m pretty sure that’s a line to get you to sleep with him.”

  Kendall scoffed and stepped back from me. Damn. I pissed her off. I knew I shouldn’t have said that last part. I knew she’d just get mad at me. So why come to me for advice if she was just going to ignore it? Or just going to do whatever the hell she wanted anyway?

  “You don’t know that. You’re still single, Miss James. Have you ever been in love? Maybe you just don’t know what it’s really like.”

  Kendall stormed out, anger billowing behind her. I did not need her drama, or anyone else’s, when I was already so anxious about seeing Joey. Part of me wanted to chase her out the door and talk to her, but really, what would I say?

  I sighed heavily and gathered my stuff. After a quick trip to the bathroom I was dressed for the slopes and headed to the bus. Kendall was talking to Braden, draped over his arm like an accessory. I tried to catch her eye, but she studiously avoided me. I would talk to her later.

  When she’d calmed down.

  The ride out to Winter Ridge was loud and grated my nerves. I wanted to get the day over with. I wanted to see Joey and resolve things. I wanted to talk to Kendall and straighten things out. Then I wanted to go home and sleep. Putting as much space between me and the pile of garbage I’d created as possible.

  When the bus stopped I piled out with everyone else, hoping to catch Kendall before she headed out with Braden, but I was out of luck. She darted over to the rental lodge before I could say anything to her, leaving me unloading the bus. Again.

  “Need some help, Ms. James,” Joey said in my ear as I pulled a pair of skis from the bus.

  “Sure,” I answered, hoping my confusion didn’t come through in the word.

  We worked silently for a while, emptying the bus and handing over skis and snowboards to the eager students. When everything was out, Joey turned to me and asked, “Wanna go skiing with me?”

  Unsure if it was a euphemism or not, I nodded and followed him to the rental lodge. I clicked into my skis as he locked into his snowboard and we headed for the chair lift. Up on the lift I watched my students ski beneath me, wishing I had their innocence again. Life was simple in high school. Yeah, you worried about everything and always felt like you had to be perfect, but those problems were easy compared to deciding if the guy you were sleeping with should be your boyfriend or trying to save your parents’ marriage or saving your sister from drunken assholes every night of the week.

  At the top of the lift I followed Joey to the edge of the slope. We stood side by side looking out for a few minutes when he finally said, “I’m sorry about the other day. I shouldn’t have pushed you. You’re right. We’re good as we are. We have fun. And I don’t need to screw it up by trying to change things.”

  Flabbergasted, I stared up at him. I tried to read his eyes, but he wasn’t looking at me. He watched the ski slope as though it was his life. I guess it was. I realized just how little I actually knew about Joey and it bothered me. I’d pushed so hard to keep things casual between us and I’d pushed hard enough that I didn’t have a choice anymore. Joey was making the choice for me. Just like I didn’t want.

  How screwed up was I?

  “Do you want to ski today? Or…” Joey trailed off, giving me the option to choose. Letting me define our relationship how I wanted.

  I knew it was wrong, but I needed him. I needed the release he could give me. I needed to forget about the horrible date I’d planned for my parents and my conversation with Kendall. I needed to put all of it aside for a few minutes and feel good about me. And Joey could do that. He always could.

  I glanced up at him, and he finally looked at me. Something in my expression must have given him my answer because he laughed and nodded. “I should have expected that. One day I’ll get you skiing, Ms. James.”

  “I’ll ski today. About halfway down this slope, then I’ll take a break, and I’ll finish up the other half a little later.”

  Joey laughed again, not a full belly laugh, but a chuckle. I could tell he wasn’t feeling what he was saying. That he was trying to do what I wanted. I needed to figure out what I wanted. I needed to quit stringing him along and make a damn choice. I needed to find out if I wanted him in my life. Or not.

  I followed Joey down the slope and to our turn. In the privacy we’d created we faced each other, neither of us saying anything. My heart beat faster, a rhythmic drum against my chest. I reached down and unsnapped my skis, stepping out of the confines of their tracks. Joey watched me, then mimicked my movements, unhooking his boots.

  Slowly I unzipped my jacket and let it fall to the ground behind me. His eyes followed the movement of my hand, tracing the zipper down to my waist then watching my jacket hit the floor. A small flurry erupted behind me that matched the madness inside. I watched Joey drag the zipper of his jacket down, exposing his sweatshirt. I knew more was going on than simply sex. It wasn’t about that anymore. Joey was seducing me, drawing me into his world, and making me see how it could be if I would give him the time. If I would let go of the tight control I kept over my schedule, over my life, and let him in.

  When his jacket hit the ground he paused, waiting for me to make the next move. Feeling bold, I reached for the edge of my sweater and slowly raised it. Green eyes turned brown then black as inch upon inch of my stomach then my breasts were exposed. He vanished momentarily as I pulled the sweater over my head and when I could see him again he was closer, like one of those animal videos where the cat moves closer every time you look away.

  His hands hovered inches from my skin, trembling, whether from the cold or from the intensity, I wasn’t sure. My body heated just from the look in his eyes and bent toward him, desperate for his touch, for the way he could make me feel. The way I only felt with him.

  His palm finally contacted my skin and I nearly came from the simple pleasure of feeling him. His hand grazed over my belly and drifted up to cup my breast. His mouth dipped down and captured one lace covered nipple as he tweaked the other. I moaned, my knees softening, and his other arm closed around my waist, keeping me from falling into the soft snow.

  I needed to feel him, to touch him, to anchor myself with him. Tugging at his sweatshirt, I freed his skin to my hands, stroking over his muscles as they jumped away from my touch. He bit down on my nipple, eliciting a yelp from me, and I scratched my nails over his chest, drawing a groan out of him.

  “Kiss me,” I demanded, the first words spoken since we vanished into the trees.

  He tore his lips from my breast and sealed them against mine, pushing me back against the tree as his hands covered every inch of my body. One arm ran up my back, protecting me from the roughness of the bark, and the other toyed with my breast, pinching, tweaking, and
caressing, until I couldn’t take it any longer.

  I broke away from our kiss, panting, needy. I yanked at his sweatshirt, needing to get it off him. He grabbed the collar and tugged it off, tossing it aside. He unclasped my bra and threw it toward the trees, then pressed his warm skin against mine.

  Stomach to stomach. Chest to chest. Lips to lips.

  His chest hair brushed my nipples, further igniting my already fired up body. I wasn’t sure how I was going to walk out of there without smelling like sex. There would be no mistaking what we were doing when we emerged if anyone got close enough to smell me, or the desperate need I felt.

  Joey’s hand went to my waist and dipped inside my pants. Teasing me, he brushed against my belly, but never went further, painfully out of reach from where I needed him. I reached down, and stroked him on top of his pants, my panties dampening more when I felt how long and hard he already was.

  He groaned and tore his mouth from mine. He looked down at me, his eyes burning with need and something else. Something deeper. Something I wasn’t ready for.

  Then he tugged my pants down and dipped his hand between my legs, and I forgot all about what else was in his eyes.

  His fingers slid into me effortlessly and Joey groaned right along with me at the feel. I spread my legs as far as they could go in my ski pants and boots as Joey dragged his fingers in and out at a painfully slow pace. I wanted to shout at him to go faster, but it felt so insanely good I couldn’t form a coherent thought, let alone a word.

  Joey took my hands and guided them to the tree behind me so I could brace myself. I held on, waiting for my reward, waiting for him to pick up the pace and drive me crazy.

  Then I felt something else.

  My eyes flew open and found Joey on his knees in front of me, his head buried between my legs and his tongue working its way over me.

  “Joey, you don’t have toooooo. Oh, dear fucking God,” I moaned, my protest quickly forgotten as he sucked on me and drew me into his mouth. Holy fuck it felt amazing.

  I gripped the tree behind me, desperate for something to hold on to. My knees went weak and I worried I was going to fall on him, but dear God, he could not stop. His fingers curled inside me and his mouth worked on the outside and I knew within seconds I would be in free fall.

  “Oh, Joey, Jesus. I’m gonna come. Right now. I… holy fuck. I’m coming,” I warned him as I burst into a kaleidoscope of pleasure. Over and over my body convulsed, one orgasm after another coursing through me. I’d never known pleasure like that before, and I knew, without a doubt, I would never find it again.

  Slowly, Joey withdrew from me, his lips leaving my skin first, only to trail kisses over my stomach, across both breasts, and up to my lips. I could taste myself on his lips, something that turned me on more than I expected. He slid his fingers out of me the same time he plunged his tongue into my mouth, the give and take of the two actions making me whimper for more.

  He kissed me, a man possessed, fiercely, but sweetly. I could feel him holding back from devouring me, but I needed that, I wanted that. Devouring was safer. It was physical. What he was doing to me was emotional. It wasn’t a quick fuck in the woods. Joey was doing his damnedest to make love to me.

  And damn if I wasn’t falling for it.

  His tongue brushed against mine, giving me another taste of myself. The smell of Joey surrounded me, but with the taste of my own orgasm on our tongues, I was dizzy with desire. I wanted him. I wanted him inside me. I wanted him any way I could get him.

  I let my hands fall to his hips, needing to feel him close to me. As he kissed me, I went for his waistband again, this time not bothering to stroke him from the outside. I plunged my hand into his pants and wrapped my fingers around his cock.

  He jerked away from me, but my hand went with him. I stroked him slowly, drawing my thumb over the tip and spreading the moisture that was dripping out. His kiss faltered, his tongue pausing in his perusal of my mouth, then he restarted with an urgency that I craved.

  His teeth clattered against mine. His hands went to my hips and tugged me tight against him. His tongue thrust deep into my mouth, giving me everything he had.

  Then he yanked down his pants, rolled on a condom, and impaled me.

  “Holy fucking Christ,” he murmured when our bodies met. His pants barely made it to his knees and mine weren’t much further down than that, but Joey made it work. Bracing my back against the tree again, my knees anchored against his hips, he held me up with his hands on my hips, my ass nearly resting on his thighs.

  Slowly, he slid out of me, rasping against every last inch of me and making me need him. Dear God, I needed him. To finish what he’d started. To move again. To make me feel good.

  To love me.

  Where did that one come from? I wasn’t ready for love. I knew it. But something changed. In that moment, when Joey slid slowly out of me, our eyes met, and I knew it was different. I knew exactly what he was feeling. I could see it in his eyes. I could feel it in the gentle way he held me up, tight enough so I wouldn’t fall, but loose enough so he wouldn’t hurt me.

  He stilled, a shuddered breath retreating from his lungs, and rested his forehead against mine. He saw it. He felt it, too.

  When he began to move again, our eyes stayed locked on each other, our foreheads together. His breath became my breath. His skin became my skin. His heart became my heart.

  The intensity of the moment was too powerful. I couldn’t handle it. I pulled him closer and held on as our bodies slapped together, the only sound the shouts of nearby skiers and the quiet connecting of our flesh. When I got close, I simply gripped Joey tighter, my arms wrapping around his neck so hard I was sure he would pass out. As the end of my ride approached he grunted and thrust deeper and harder into me, his own orgasm following mine.

  We stood there for a few minutes, clasped together, hearts pounding, skin sweating despite the cold, breath labored. I knew we needed to talk, to say something about what just happened between us. To make sense of it all.

  Until a radio crackled, and we heard the worst possible thing.

  “Missing skiers. Two of the kids from the school group. All available employees report to the lodge for further instructions.”

  Twenty-One

  We dressed silently and I followed Joey to the lodge. Rich and Amber were already there, Amber looking worried.

  “What happened?” I asked as I approached them.

  Rich looked me over carefully then glanced toward Joey. He raised an eyebrow at me but didn’t say anything.

  “Kendall and Braden are missing. Jessica said she saw them heading off somewhere an hour ago, but they didn’t come back to check in like they were supposed to. If any student doesn’t check in we have to send out a search party, just in case,” Rich explained.

  I nodded but worry clenched my gut. If Kendall and Braden went off somewhere to have sex, like she was thinking about earlier, this could be all my fault. She came to me to talk and I didn’t give her good advice, then she disappeared. With her boyfriend. Who was trying to convince her to have sex.

  I was the worst teacher ever.

  A voice behind me, frantic and whispering, said, “Dude, just tell me where you are. They’re already gearing up to send out a search party. You’re gonna be in worse trouble if you don’t come out. Just get the fuck back here.”

  He was quiet for a minute then said, “Shit. What happened? Is she okay?”

  I couldn’t stay still any longer. I turned and found Braden’s friend, Justin, on the phone. “Hand it over,” I demanded.

  Justin hesitated, but when I raised my eyebrow at him he relinquished the phone. I carried it over to Joey and said, “It’s Braden.”

  Joey snatched the phone. “Braden. Where are you? Are you okay?”

  I leaned in close hoping I could hear something, but it was useless. All I could hear was panic in his voice.

  “Okay, we’ll come get you. Stay with her, you understand me. Keep her warm. We’l
l be there soon.”

  Joey hung up the phone and handed it to me. He addressed the other instructors and guides, saying, “They’re up on Blue Ridge. He’s afraid he’s gonna be in trouble, so let’s keep that part until later, let the teachers deal with him breaking the rules. She’s hurt. They went down the hill and she lost control and skied into a tree. Possible concussion, likely a broken arm from what he said. They tried to get back, but she got sick and he hasn’t been able to get her back moving again. Call the parents and 911. Let’s have the ambulance here when we get her back, have the parents go to the hospital.”

  Joey in charge was kinda hot, but I knew I shouldn’t be thinking about that when one of my students was hurt. On my watch. When I made her feel like she wasn’t making a good decision.

  The guides all dispersed, many of them following Joey to the trails. Rich called Mr. Rockwell, as was policy whenever a student was hurt at a school sponsored function. I could tell the conversation was not a pleasant one by the look on Rich’s face when he ended the call with, “See you soon, sir.”

  “He’s coming here?” Amber squeaked.

  Rich nodded. “A student is hurt. He’s on his way. He doesn’t sound very happy. I’m sure he’s going to blame us for this.”

  “How was any of this our fault? We didn’t send them off to some random spot. We didn’t tell them to break the rules,” Amber whined.

  Her voice grated my nerves. After the emotional high of being with Joey and the plunge of finding out something happened to Kendall, I was about done. I needed to get out of there, away from Amber, away from the others talking and speculating about what was going on.

  I burst into the open air, sucking in a breath. Fear consumed me, wrapping around my chest like a vice. The need to be out there, to be helping, drove me forward, toward the ski lift, but I stopped. I couldn’t help. I didn’t know where I was going and me going up there would only require a second rescue when I got lost or hurt.

  Being one of the people who had to stay put and wait, and trust the others, was hard. It was harder than I thought it would be. I was used to fixing problems, finding the solution and doing it, not sitting around and waiting for others to take care of things. I had no choice though. I found a bench outside and waited. I ran through my conversation with Kendall again and again in my head, wondering how I could have fixed it. I knew I shouldn’t have been so harsh with her. I should have been kinder, gentler, and talked through it more.