Working Desires: A Dirty Office Romance Boxset

by Hazel Keys

  You’d think now would be the reasonable time to have sex in a bathroom stall or something but not with this crazy girl…

  “I better just go home,” she said, as always sending me just one glance.

  “What? Oh my god! Seriously?! You…you know…you…”

  “What?” she said with a bit of a smirk.

  “I dunno. I know the type, man. Just wham bam thank you, sir. I’m not a sex toy, you know. I mean I am, but I’m a sex toy with feelings!”

  She laughed, still turning away and preventing me from getting closer. “I’m sorry, Jake. I’m not that type of girl. I don’t have sex on the first or second or even third date.”

  “All right,” I said, a bit disappointed but not giving up, not by a long shot.“Can I see you again?”

  “You are just incorrigible, Jake!” she said with a flirty snicker.

  “I am. I’m usually not like this…but you put a spell on me!”

  “Okay. We can get together and TALK again. But nothing else.”

  “Deal. How do I get a hold of you anyway?”

  She hesitated. “I was going to say by phone. But if you’re a gentleman and promise not to stalk me tonight…”

  “Promise.”

  “It’s room 232,” she said with a wink.

  Sounds like a great happy ending, right? Oh My God, no! I couldn’t believe what happened next. I was so elated about my date I told my FRIEND Stephanie everything that happened and she expressed support. A lot of “Go you!” and “Great!”

  I made the mistake of telling her the apartment number, because I wasn’t thinking. After all, what could go wrong?

  Well, I’ll tell you what went wrong…

  The next morning, after honoring my promise, I decided to come pay my very sexy mystery woman a visit. Maybe a little beach walking, or touring, maybe a breakfast out. Sounds romantic right?

  The door opens and behold! Stephanie sits there, just waking up and wearing an after-sex t-shirt. And believe me, I know what those shirts look like.

  She was in Catalina’s apartment! She seduced my girlfriend!

  Well granted, Catalina wasn’t my girlfriend yet. But come on, I have never met such a huge cock block and bro-beater in all my life. What, so lesbians just like to flex nuts and steal every guy’s dream woman? Is it some competitive thing?

  I stormed off in rage. She tried to holler at me and apologize but it was too late. How could a friend do this to me? How could anyone rationalize this? Stephanie wasn’t stupid…she knew exactly what she was doing. And I was the biggest schmuck in the world!

  Chapter 6: Stephanie

  “Ah, I see your dilemma” said Connor, who couldn’t help but laugh at my misfortune. “So you seduced yourself and broke Jake’s heart. He seems like a really smart and sweet guy…except for his stupidity and mean-spirited jealousy.”

  I laughed. I tried to be outraged but the whole thing was quite ridiculous. And in Jake’s defense, it was kind of my fault.

  “I told him I was gay. And any smart guy, which Jake is, knows that doesn’t change. He’s just taking me at my word. And I lied to him.”

  “Hmmm,” Connor said. “Well, only you would be having ‘Batman dating problems’, hon. You have always been the strong and mysterious type of woman, haven’t you?”

  “I suppose so! Well I’ll say one thing for me,” I laughed. “Jake will definitely remember this relationship for the rest of his life, no matter how short-lived! I am memorable and I take great pride in that.”

  “Aww, Steph,” Connor said, shaking his head. “What are we going to do with you? You’re a beautiful, smart woman and yet you play all these weird games with guys.”

  “I know, I do. I make my own hole and jump in it. Every single time. So do you think I should just tell him?”

  “Well…” Connor said, standing tall and rubbing his golden blond locks. The man is beautiful himself…I can’t even believe we came from the same parents. “Ordinarily I would say that. But I’m kind of curious to see if Jake really likes you or not.”

  “He doesn’t. He’s in love with her.”

  “Yes…but a character you projected, Stephanie. He fell in love with the image you projected. Remember that.”

  I wasn’t sure what my brother was talking about. Connor always had a way of making me second-guess what I thought I knew. His implication was that Jake and I maybe had a thing going…we were just both being stupid and needed to wise up and accepted what was right in front of us.

  I felt silly though, trying to “be myself” around Jake. He didn’t go for me because I wasn’t his type. That’s all there was to it.

  But…to my deep frustration, I figured I owed Jake a big apology, even if I did nothing wrong. But in his eyes, I was the worst friend in the world. I seduced his “girlfriend” and taunted him. Of course, with that perspective I look like a real hoe. But if he only knew…that I did seduce Catalina, and that I fucked her pretty good (thinking about HIM that night) the whole thing would be a hilarious misunderstanding.

  Er, hilarious and embarrassing.

  But it had to be said. I owed him that.

  We met in a local coffee shop the next morning as he was pouting and sending me death gazes all morning long. Naturally, I dressed up in my “lesbian” clothes and avoided any Catalina makeup or fashion sense. He had to hear it coming from me. Connor was right, sort of, but I knew that my honesty with Jake was at risk. And I couldn’t keep carrying that.

  “I’m sorry, Jake. The truth is…” I flinched and sighed.

  “Yeah. Say it!” he said with an angry stare.

  “I really…really…really stuck it to Catalina last night.”

  He frowned.

  “Like really hard. Like…made that bitch scream.”

  He shook his head in disgust.

  “Because I AM…Catalina…Jake.”

  He stared at me for a long ten seconds without any emotion, processing what I just said.

  “What?!”

  I stared at him with a straight face, letting him know the embarrassing truth.

  “What the hell are you saying to me?!”

  “Jake…I’m so sorry.” I struggled to speak and once again, could barely look him in the eyes. “I’m all fucked up.”

  “Yeah I know, believe me. But why are you lying to me?”

  “I’m not. I’ve been lying. Now I’m confessing the truth. I dressed up as Catalina, Jake. Because…I don’t know why I did it. I just did.”

  He stared at me again, this time slowly shaking his head in full denial.

  “I didn’t seduce your girlfriend. I just took off my makeup. My stupid fake clothes. And I went to bed. I woke up, the ugly trollop you see before you…the same girl you’ve laughed at for five years. Catalina never existed. It wasn’t nice. It was a cruel thing to do.”

  He finally stopped shaking his head. He finally looked into my eyes and gazed into the distracted, scattershot eyes of Catalina, the exotic beauty who never gave him her full attention. This time I stared back at him, in weakness, figuring I owed this to him. It was time to suffer my humiliation.”

  “No,” he laughed, resuming the head shaking. “I mean…I saw her. I made out with her!”

  He stared at me in discomfort. “I…in the theater…we…I…”

  “Yeah, sorry about that. You were a really good kisser…” I said with a nervous smile.

  “Holy shit!” he said, finally looking into my eyes and seeing the mystery of Catalina once and for all. “I mean…god! Stephanie what the hell?!”

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

  He sighed again and this time let the anger boil inside. He furled his brow and pounded his fist on the table. “You played for a fool? An idiot? You think it’s funny?”

  “No, I don’t,” I said softly.

  “It’s not funny! It’s a pretty goddamned mean thing to do. Why would you do that? I’m your friend…or I thought I was.”

  He shook his head in judgment. It was t
he worst look I had ever seen from him. I felt a fear of losing him for good, as a friend, as anything in my life. An overwhelming urge came over me. I started crying like a baby, like a stupid little “princess” that I swore I would never become. What the fuck was wrong with me?

  “I’m sorry…” I said, dripping tears and starting to panic. I rose up quickly and fled the coffee shop, not even giving him one look back. “I don’t blame him if he never talks to me again.”

  I ran out of the place like a criminal. My embarrassment for crying in front of him was only dwarfed by my horror at what I had done. What I became. Towards the very end of my run of shame, he called out to me. But it was too late. Too late, my love. I could never see him again. We had to part permanently and forget this awful memory.

  **

  Well, this was awkward. While I really wanted a tragic love story ending where neither of us ever spoke again…we did sort of have to share a plane ride back home, and sit next to each other. While I did rent Catalina a separate hotel room, I never actually bought another ticket. Looked like I was screwed.

  Back to wearing my shirt, pants and generally taking back my unkempt appearance, I tried to stay quiet. I didn’t say a word for about half an hour and just sat there in terrible silence. But eventually, Jake’s quiet calm helped me to talk more about what I was really feeling. I loved him for that.

  “The truth is I didn’t do it maliciously, please believe that. I was just so confused.”

  “Well that makes two of us.”

  “Just about where I was going in life. What kind of relationship I want. None of it made sense anymore. I wanted to become a new woman. Live inside someone else’s body. I hated what I had become. My pathetic life.”

  “Stop talking like that,” he said, getting miffed.

  “It’s true, and I deserve my humiliation.”

  “HEY!” he said in that strong Italian voice as his eyes met mine and stayed for a long exchange. “Don’t ever say that. It’s not true. We all go through stuff, Stephanie. All of us. It doesn’t mean you’re a terrible person. It just means it’s time for a change. That’s all.”

  “It is time for a change. I know that. I don’t really know where I go from here. I don’t even have any friends outside of the city. I’m just…really happy you didn’t leave me stranded in Florida. I think it’s best if we not speak to each other anymore.”

  Jake laughed. “Stephanie, gimme a break. I’m not going to stop being your friend. Okay? So just quit with all that bullshit.”

  “You don’t have to…”

  “I’m aware,” he said. “So just get over it. You embarrassed yourself and me, and we’re both going to just get over it. The end.”

  “Okay…but you know you don’t have to…

  “Just go to sleep, goofy,” he said with a smile, putting his arm around me and encouraging me to lean my head asleep on his shoulder. I was so tired. I hadn’t really slept the night before. He could tell I was cracking up. And all he wanted for me was peace. God, I loved that man. I never wanted that plane ride to end. I wanted to die in his arms, rather than return to mundane reality.

  Chapter 7:Jake

  When we got back home, we decided to go and have a “bro” dinner. No dating, no weird thing between us. Just as two hungry bros. Above all, I wanted to show Stephanie that I wasn’t going to take it personally. Yeah I was pissed at first. Who wouldn’t be? But she’s such a weird girl…a funny girl. How could I stay mad at her?

  I snacked on a burger and she chowed down on soup and salad. We tried to do the small talk thing but it didn’t go very well. Neither of us are very polite, anyway. Within minutes we were both keeping it real and just expressing all our nasty and angry thoughts. And hell, that’s the way it should be.

  “I just feel as if I’m having my midlife crisis early,” Stephanie said. “I feel like now that I have lived as Catalina my whole life thus far has been a lie.”

  “Don’t be so dramatic,” I teased. Your personal shit is not the center of the universe. You’re going to get over this. You’re going to make a change and find what makes you happy.”

  “I guess so.”

  “You will!” I said firmly. “Don’t underestimate yourself. I mean, hell, I relate to what you’re going through.”

  “You do?”

  “Yeah. I’m looking for…you know, stuff. I get it, Steph. More than you realize.”

  “Huh,” she said suspiciously. “I guess I know what you’re talking about. Sort of.”

  “I just mean…well…okay here’s what I’m confused about. Why did you choose me to experiment on? I mean, you’re gay, right? What did you have to lose by…”

  “I’m not gay, Jake.”

  He looked at me in confusion. “So like…why were you…you know, flirting with…why was Catalina flirting with me?”

  She sighed and covered her face. Finally, she looked at me and flinched as she told the truth. “I just wanted to see if I could be that kind of…you know…sexy girl that guys go for.”

  I smiled in curiosity. “Well if nothing else, you aced that test.” I leaned in closer to her and almost whispered my reply in shame. “The truth is I couldn’t stop thinking of Catalina. She really captivated my imagination. So if you’re wondering if you ‘got it’, kid, don’t sweat it. You were amazing.”

  “Aww,” she said smiling wide. “Well I’m glad you liked her so much.”

  “Yeah. Good show.” I laughed.

  “Well, sorry you never got to say goodbye to her.”

  I shrugged.

  “Would you like me to dress up as her…so you can…you know…say goodbye?”

  I flinched. And stuttered. And lost all my words in surprise.

  “Yes,” I answered without thinking.

  She was caught off guard too and we both just stared at each other in confusion, grasping for the “safe” thing to say in response. What the hell was that about? Was this some kind of Hitchcock thing, having her dress up like her fictional character?

  I had no idea what I was doing or what she was suggesting. But “YES” seemed to be on my mind.

  “Sure I could do that,” she said unsurely, touching her hair nervously. “But like at my place? What would we do…?”

  “Just…talk?” I said, blinking. Having no earthly idea what any of this meant.

  Until I finally got the point.Loud and clear.

  **

  I wish I could have been more of a gentleman, but the god honest truth is that as soon as “Catalina” was staring back at me, so trusting and finally looking deep into my eyes… I lost all control of myself. I kissed her with fire. I was a little ashamed at how selfishly, how fucking out of control I was when I grabbed Stephanie and unleashed my pent up frustration. And my pent up attraction. And hell, my pent up confusion!

  She was wearing a red dress this time with makeup and just enough skin to tease me. In an instant it all came back to me. The monstrous attraction I had towards her…the burning desire to kiss her and make love to her—oh yes all the while looking into those bashful eyes. This time she had to look at me. There was nowhere else to go.

  I kissed her thirstily and brought her closer, as she straddled me on the couch. It felt wrong…a little perverse, what we were doing. But mostly it just felt mad fucking hot. I necked her just like that day in the theater. Before I even thought about what I was doing, my hands were all over her body, fondling her sides, her legs, her shoulders.

  We both moaned in sharp breaths as I pulled down her bodice from her shoulders just so I could taste that sensual spot between her breasts. Full and warm, I buried my face in her cleavage. Her red bra peered from underneath the dress material and make me hard as rock. She held my face closer to her body and I hugged her with my grabby hands, rubbing her shoulders, her back, her bubbly ass!

  The self-awareness of realizing my hands were on her ass was driving me crazy. I was breaking a taboo but I was filling my intense hunger and it was worth all the stress of “What
if?” Soon, I was grabbing her ass and reaching under her skirt—under her panties—like a sex-starved virgin on his wedding night! I unbuttoned her top and pulled her bra cup down just to see her pink nipple popping out. I swallowed, sucked and licked it, losing all of my senses. I wanted her so bad. I needed to taste her. Every inch.

  I don’t know if things were getting too heated, or if she was too excited, or if she was too bashful and just wanted to climax fast. But just as I was warming up, she started unzipping my pants and looking for my cock. We were both touching each other desperately with only enough patience to undress half of the clothing we were wearing. She was impatient—she wanted my cock in her NOW and reading that thought made me tremble in suspense.

  I groaned loud, embarrassingly loud, as I penetrated her and felt her wetness cream me so warm and smoothly. I should have said something debonair…should have talked dirty or talked romantic…instead I just hollered and panted like a fool. But a fool who was living in the moment!

  She rocked back and forth and it was such an exhilarating feeling knowing that we were both out of our minds. We were both crossing a fine line and greedily, and wickedly, and selfishly endangering our friendship.

  But fuck it all, it felt amazing to lose it, and shoot ten hot explosive spurts into her. We couldn’t even mutter an “Oh God” we just grunted and groaned until our bodies shook and our faces tightened to red faced orgasm.

  All I remember about the afterglow was breathing so hard and her breathing back at me, all in my face…our cheeks so close together. Our eyes locked into a stare that seemed to go on for hours. Now with wetness surrounding me, I could finally think straight…

  My God what have we done? What was that? Oh God what did we do? Oh my God it was so good…

  **

  The awkward conversation that follows an out of nowhere glorious and intensely crazy fuck, is always the best part for me.

  And this was usually about the time when the girl, or the “woman” shall I say, would realize that I was just a one night stand and that it’s best she get dressed and get the hell out.