Love is Blind (G Street Chronicles Presents)

by Nicole Jackson

  “We have to do this more often,” she told her girls as they departed.

  “I know. Call us,” Cali said as she climbed into her new Jeep.

  “I will,” Necole nodded as she hopped into her car. Although she would have liked to hang longer, she was content with getting out even if it was only for a few.

  She drove home listening to the radio. 97.9 The Box was jamming Big Moe’s, “Just a Dog.” The music brought back memories as she bobbed her head to the beat. She reached in her ashtray and grabbed a roach. She lit it up and took a few puffs. It was just enough to give her a buzz. As she pulled up at home, she saw Carmelo’s car in the driveway. She smiled liking that he didn’t try to stay out all night.

  She parked her car and hopped out. She almost skipped to the door before walking in. “Who the fuck told you to leave?” he hit her with the question as soon as she entered the house.

  “What you mean? Your mama knew where I was. I wasn’t gone that long anyway.”

  “Okay, but why didn’t you pick up the phone and ask me if you could go?”

  “Ask? I didn’t know that I had to ask you anything. I don’t recall you asking me to leave earlier.”

  “I didn’t just have a baby either.”

  “What does that have to do with anything? You don’t ask me to do a damn thing. You come and go as you please and I never say a word. So why is it a problem when I step out for a couple of hours?”

  “‘Cause, man. You always trying to pawn him off on my mama. She didn’t have him.”

  “I don’t pawn him off on anybody. She volunteered to keep him. I don’t have a problem with keeping my own baby. I could have easily taken him with me.”

  “I wish you would take him. You got me fucked up!” he seethed.

  “What you mean? He is six weeks old now and it is perfectly okay for him to go places. He’s not just your son.”

  “You heard what the fuck I said,” he told her as he walked back to their room.

  She stood blowing out hot air. He had just blown her high with his bullshit. She didn’t even want to go in the room with him because she knew that he wasn’t about to let this go. “I don’t feel like this shit tonight,” she mumbled to herself.

  She walked to the hallway and peeked into Brenda’s room. Junior was sleeping peacefully on the bed. “Aw, look at my bookey,” she cooed as she walked into the bedroom.

  “That nigga on a rampage again?” Brenda asked as she sat on the edge of her bed.

  “Yeah,” Necole sighed.

  “Is he high?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think so. He seemed like he had all his marbles.”

  “Ooh,” Brenda lifted her head. “He’s just jealous. He sees how that body bounced back and he wants to keep you in the house,” she whispered.

  Necole nodded.

  “See…that’s why you gotta make sure that you stay on top of your shit. Nigga’s are some fucked up creatures. If you sit around here and let yourself go, he’ll be looking on to the next one. Then if you maintain and let him see that you about your shit, he’ll be hating, trying to hold you back. Keep that nigga on his toes. Don’t let this baby stop you from handling your business. Go to college and be whatever you want. He gon try to throw shit at you to slow you down, but you block that shit out. His insecurities gon try to hold you back. But don’t worry ‘cause I got your back. As long as I see you trying, I’m here for you. If you need a babysitter, I got you. Don’t let him fill your head with that bullshit about pawning Junior off on me. We family and family helps each other out. And I know that you getting an education means that my grandbaby will be better off. So just stay focused and know that I’m here.”

  “Thank you,” Necole hugged her as her eyes became misty. She was very grateful for Brenda’s support.

  “Girl, gone,” Brenda waved her off. She had really grown to love Necole like a daughter and was praying that her son got his shit together and treated her like she deserved to be treated.

  * * * * *

  The next few months flew by and school had started again. Carmelo thought that Necole was going to sit out a semester, but she showed him differently. She’d taken care of everything and started her freshmen year on time. She wasn’t as hyped as she would’ve been had she been at Spelman, but the University of Houston would do for now. There were plenty of classmates from high school there, so she had associates there. Still, her main girls were missing in action. Corrine and Cali had both gone to Spelman as planned and Amber wasn’t enrolled in school yet. She claimed that she was waiting out until the next semester, but that was yet to be seen. Tory was the only friend going to school with her and Necole wasn’t so sure if she liked her anymore. She’d been dating Mark for about six months, leaving Cole feeling betrayed. Even though he was never officially hers, Tory had witnessed them kissing and still got with him. Necole would have never done something like that; besides, who wanted to be second choice?

  Necole had heard the horror stories about people getting to college and getting caught up in the hype. She had vowed to remain focused. She didn’t have the luxury of floating around from major to major trying to find herself. She had created a career plan for herself that needed to be executed as soon as possible. The excitement of the hood had worn off and she wanted an upgrade. So, she was determined to buckle down in her studies. The only distractions were Junior and Carmelo.

  After school had been in for a month, she got a part-time job on campus. She had a full academic scholarship along with several smaller scholarships that she received reimbursements for. So she had a little nice cushion that Carmelo didn’t know about. Her plan was to save up enough to pay a year’s worth a rent upfront and still have a little money stashed away. She knew that working would allow her to save without touching her money for incidentals. If she hadn’t learned anything else from her mom, she’d learned to never let your right hand know what your left is doing. Her objective was self-preservation for her and her child. Anything else was secondary; including Carmelo.

  Ms. Brenda’s words were stuck in Necole’s head. Don’t let him hold you back, she constantly told her. If her man’s own mother said this behind his back, then she knew to take heed. Ms. Brenda made sure to remind Necole to put her child first. That’s my son and I love him, but niggas will come and go. You do what you got to do for you and yours before anything else.

  At times she couldn’t help but look at Carmelo sideways. His mom didn’t say the things she said for her health. She knew her son in ways that Necole never would and not even she would encourage her to stay indefinitely. She’d say, If you get tired, leave. Don’t let no nigga drag you down.

  Necole took everything in, but her relationship with Carmelo wasn’t really her focal point. She was into school. She didn’t care about what he did, who he did it with, or how he did it. Whether she cared or not wasn’t going to change him or his actions. She figured that it was less stressful to just tune him out.

  Carmelo hated her nonchalant attitude toward him. Her lack of concern was disturbing. All she ever talked about was school and the people she worked with. It seemed like nothing else mattered to her and he didn’t like that. He didn’t want to fight for her affection, so he sought attention in other places.

  It took a while, but Necole noticed Carmelo’s sudden change in behavior. He barely slept at home and he stepped out of the room every time his phone rung. She knew that it had to be another chick. For a little while, she tried to ignore it; but his absence was ringing louder by the day. Eventually, her feelings were hurt. He wasn’t even trying to hide the fact that his interest was elsewhere. This became painfully obvious as she spotted his car cruising down the street with him riding shotgun while another girl drove.

  She was completely embarrassed as she and Amber both held their babies. They were leaving Lil’ Daddy’s house as the car passed by. Everybody was outside and saw her man with another broad.

  “You see this shit,” Amber shook her head.

/>   Necole sucked her teeth. “So, that’s the bitch he’s fucking now,” she said, trying to sound unaffected while her heart silently bled.

  “Yeah, I heard that he was messing with Erica.”

  Necole looked at her friend. “And when were you going to tell me?”

  “What?” Amber hunched her shoulders. “I thought you knew. Supposedly, she uses his car all the time and they are like Bonnie and Clyde.”

  “What?” Necole looked at her confused.

  “Yeah. He hustles with her and everything.”

  “When did you hear all of this?” Necole questioned with her hand on her hip.

  “About a month ago. The way they’re so open about it, I thought that you knew. Shit, the last few times I came over here he was with her. The bitch hopped in the car and left his ass here. He didn’t seem to care that I saw it either. I figured that ya’ll had broken up and you just didn’t want to talk about it.”

  “That is so fucked up, Amber. How could you just assume that? You could have at least asked.”

  “My bad. I didn’t know.”

  Necole rolled her eyes. “So, what do you know about this Erica girl?”

  “Well…I know that she is from Fifth Ward. I heard that Black used to fuck with her a few years back. She got two kids. She lives in the Gulf Coast Arms. She is like twenty-one and is a true to life hood rat. She sips drank, sells crack and is crazy. I ain’t gon lie; I heard she got some hands. That’s why she runs with a bunch of niggas.”

  “Oh, really?” Necole questioned with a raised brow. “He loves those hood rats, I see.”

  “What do you expect? He’s a hood nigga,” Amber said as she opened the Toyota’s back door and placed her baby in the car seat.

  “He should want better. I thought after you’ve had Moet that you wouldn’t want to go back to Old English,” Necole shook her head she placed Junior in his car seat.

  “Shit, tell that to them niggas around here. Pussy is all the same in the dark.”

  After the knowledge of Carmelo cheating, Necole did nothing right afterwards. She gathered all of the information; the more she dug, the deeper things became. She found that his history with Erica was long. She’d been in the picture for years and even Ms. Brenda was fond of her. Suddenly, she felt threatened. She couldn’t believe that some ghetto girl could come along and knock her out of her position.

  After a few weeks, Carmelo stopped coming home altogether. Necole never realized how much it would hurt. She couldn’t eat, sleep or think. Going to school was suddenly the last thing on her mind. She was losing it.

  After Carmelo had been gone for five days straight, she broke down and called him.

  “Hello,” a female voice answered his phone.

  “Hello, who is this?” Necole questioned.

  “Uh, who you want to speak to?” the girl asked with a husky voice.

  “Carmelo.”

  “And who is this?”

  “Who are you?” Cole asked getting indignant.

  “Baby, good-bye,” the girl said before hanging up on her.

  Necole’s heart was pounding in her chest as she frantically called the phone again. Her hands were trembling as she held the phone to her ear. She had never been so mad in all her life.

  “Hello,” the girl answered again.

  “Let me speak with Carmelo,” she demanded.

  “And once again…who the fuck is this?”

  “This is Necole! Put Carmelo on the phone!”

  “Hold on,” the girl said before she fumbled the phone around. Necole listened closely. She could hear voices laughing in the background.

  Finally, “Hello.”

  Her heart skipped a beat as she heard his voice. “Carmelo, what the hell is going on?”

  “Huh? What’s up?” he asked as he laughed with somebody in the background, clearly not giving her his undivided attention.

  “Where are you?” she asked.

  There was a lot going on in the background and it didn’t seem like he even had his ear to the phone. “Huh? What’s up?” he finally asked again.

  “I said, where are you?!”

  “Hey, hey. What’s all that screaming about?”

  “You know what the fuck it’s about! Where the fuck are you?!” she barked.

  The line was silent.

  “Hello!”

  Still nothing.

  She glanced at the screen and realized that he’d hung up on her.

  Necole sat feeling like she was sinking. She never imagined Carmelo just walking out on her like that. He did it without warning and no hesitation. He was acting as if she meant nothing to him.

  Ms. Brenda walked past her room and caught the distraught look on her face. “That was Carmelo you was hollering at?” she asked from the doorway.

  “Yeah,” she nodded, choking back the tears.

  “What did he say?”

  “Some girl answered the phone and then he got on and hung up on me,” she said exasperated.

  “You told him that Junior needs some diapers?”

  “No.”

  “Well, let me call his ass,” Brenda said as she went for her phone.

  Necole knew that she didn’t need Carmelo to buy diapers. Brenda thought that since Necole had quit her job that she was short on funds, so she was about to make sure that her son came through for the baby.

  About two hours later, Carmelo stepped into the house with a case of diapers. Necole was sitting on the couch holding their son when he walked through the door. “What’s up, little man?” he asked as he took him out of her arms before she could protest.

  She was disappointed at the sight of him. She was hoping for him to show some signs of regret of leaving his family. His appearance told her that he was fine while her world was slowly crumbling. He had a fresh haircut, brand new Jordans on his feet, denim Armani shorts and a crisp white tee on.

  “You miss daddy?” he asked his son while ignoring Necole.

  The baby cooed and smiled while his father lifted him above his head before letting him ride the curve of his forearm. He then walked over to the door and opened it. “Here I come,” he said to whoever he had waiting in his car. He gave his son one last kiss and walked back to his mama’s room. He handed her the baby.

  “Why you didn’t give him back to his mama? She’s sitting right in there,” Brenda said as she held the baby.

  “I ain’t got time,” he told his mama before leaving back out.

  It was the hardest thing ever watching him leave out the door. Necole’s pride was telling her to be quiet, but her heart was crying out to him. She had to say something.

  “Carmelo,” she called out to him as she went to stand in the doorway.

  He glanced back at her. “What?” he threw over his shoulder.

  “Let me talk to you.”

  “About what?” he asked as he placed his hand on the car’s latch.

  She stepped off of the porch. “Why did you just leave?” she asked as the passenger in the car became a clear view. There in the car was a chocolate-toned chick with black hair. From where she was standing, she could see that the girl was wearing weave and it looked freshly done. She had Farah Faucet flips that framed her diamond-shaped face. Her Bambi inspired eyes were penetrating her. The false lashes she was rocking only enhanced the enchantment her eyes held. From what Necole could see, the chick was pretty and had obviously taken her man.

  “Man, now you wanna know…” he tried to get out before he was cut off.

  “Uh, you better get yo ass in this car. Don’t make me fuck you up!” the girl threatened.

  He chuckled. “Erica, main…chill out.”

  “Don’t fucking play with me!” she spat as she hopped out of the ride giving Necole a view of her entire body. She was slim, but had a bodacious ass. She had a small waist and flat stomach. She even had a bowlegged stance and was at least 5’8”.

  “Okay, okay. Get in the car, main,” he told her playfully as he slid in the driver’s seat. E
rica hopped back in on the passenger’s side.

  “So, you don’t hear me talking to you?” Necole asked even though she had all the answers to her questions. He was with this new chick.

  “Naw, he ain’t gon answer you,” Erica said as she stuck her head out the window while Carmelo backed out of the driveway.

  Necole stood fuming. She could tell by Erica’s demeanor that she thought that she was a bad bitch. She didn’t seem the least bit phased by her presence. She figured that it was because she thought that she could whip her ass. Necole had heard more than a few stories about Erica’s scrapping abilities, so she wasn’t surprised at how she handled herself.

  * * * * *

  For two more weeks Necole sat around looking pitiful. She was in a funk and for the first time in her life, she didn’t comb her hair or get dressed for the day. She didn’t do anything other than take care of her son. She sat in the same spot on the couch and that was exactly where Amber found her when she walked through the door.

  “Cole, what the hell is wrong with you? Why you over here looking like you related to Tory?” Amber questioned.

  Necole cracked a smile. “You are so silly.”

  “No, you are. What’s up with the new homeless look?”

  Necole shrugged. “I’m in the house. I don’t need to be dressed up.”

  “Bitch, fuck getting dressed, it looks like you haven’t bathed in days.”

  She gave her friend the finger. “Fuck you.”

  “No, fuck yourself. You do it better,” Amber shot back. “Go wash ya ass and come roll with me.”

  “Where?”

  “Riding.”

  “You got the baby with you?” Necole wanted to know.

  “No, so go ask Brenda to babysit.”

  “Okay,” Necole sighed as she lifted from the couch. Before she could even get to the hall Brenda stepped in.

  “I heard her. Go ahead and get yo crazy ass out of here. I don’t care how late you stay out either. You need a break,” Brenda told Necole.