Love is Blind (G Street Chronicles Presents)

by Nicole Jackson

  “Okay, if it’s like that then why are you with him?”

  “Uh, hellooo. Weren’t you there when he and your daughter’s father damn near killed two men? Two men that we still haven’t heard from since. What choice do I really have?”

  Amber sucked her teeth. “Shit, I don’t know. I’m just saying. Hell, Lil’ Daddy’s ass is still stalking a bitch. I have to hook up with niggas outside the city limits.”

  “Exactly. So what was the point in your silly ass question?”

  “Bitch, I’m just saying. You seem content with ya’ll’s situation. I mean…I must admit that he treats you better than Lil’ Daddy treats me and you are in love with him. And deep down, he loves you too. He just hasn’t learned how to really show you yet. So I say stop trying to front like you don’t want the nigga. He ain’t going nowhere and you ain’t going nowhere either.”

  “And you said all this to say?” Necole questioned as she rose from the toilet.

  “I said it to say that you gon have his baby, so stop with the whining and carrying on, smart ass.”

  “You don’t know that,” Necole said as she washed her hands.

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yeah. I’m going to give myself a little time to think about this before I tell him. Shit…maybe I’ll never tell him,” she shrugged.

  “You hear that? I think that somebody’s at my door.”

  “Well, go answer it.”

  “Shut up,” Amber laughed playfully as she headed for the front door. She peeped out of the peephole. She spotted Carmelo.

  “What’s up?” she asked as she opened the door.

  “She in here?” he asked as he stepped in with Junior in tow.

  “Yeah, I’m right here,” Necole said as she stepped into the living room.

  “I thought that you were walking around here to chill with Amber?”

  “I did.”

  “So why when I came around here the first time you wasn’t here?”

  “I decided to go to the store first.”

  “But why you lied saying that you walked around here?”

  “Wait, wait. Lied is a strong word. I meant that I was coming around here. I didn’t think that if I walked or drove mattered.”

  “It really don’t unless you shoot out shit to form a lie. Now, you wake up and get dressed and try to sneak out of the crib. You wasn’t gon tell me shit until I woke up on your ass. Then you tell me that the only reason you grabbed your keys was to lock the front door, only for me to find that you left in your car. What I can’t understand is why you had to lie about that. Obviously you had it in your mind that you were going somewhere in your car, but you deliberately lied and said that you were walking.”

  Necole frowned. “What is this? Am I on trial? Why are you analyzing me like your shit doesn’t stink?”

  “What the fuck that mean?” he asked as he placed the baby on the couch.

  Suddenly, Amber became nervous. She didn’t know why Necole wanted to put up an argument over something so small. She should’ve just bowed out and admitted defeat. Couldn’t she tell by Carmelo’s body language that it was about to be some shit?

  “You heard me. You brought your ass in my house at three in the a.m. smelling like that shit and I didn’t say a word. And now you want to stand here and pick apart everything I do. You are un-fucking believable.”

  Carmelo tilted his head sideways. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”

  “I’m talking to you,” Necole said right before her cell rung. She glanced down at the screen and didn’t recognize the number. She let it go to voicemail.

  “Who was that?” he asked.

  “I don’t know,” she shrugged agitated.

  “You don’t know? Let me see the phone.”

  “For what?”

  “Let me see the phone!”

  “Here,” she jumped and handed him her cell.

  He took the phone and reviewed her call log. He called back the last caller. “Hey, this is Carl. Leave a message,” the voicemail said as it picked up on the first ring. Carmelo’s entire expression changed on his face.

  “Bitch!” he lunged at her. “You went to go meet that nigga! Huh?!” he bellowed as he choked her.

  “Ahhhh!” Necole screamed.

  “Carmelo!” Amber shouted as she tried to get between them.

  “You fucking that nigga?!”

  Necole couldn’t do anything but frantically shake her head.

  “Let her go!”

  Finally, he released her. “That’s where you went. You fucked him didn’t you?”

  Necole rubbed her neck as she tried to catch her breath. “What are you talking about?”

  “That bitch ass nigga, Carl. I heard his voicemail. That’s why you didn’t want to answer the phone.”

  “What? I haven’t talked to Carl since the party! I didn’t give him my number!”

  “You a muthafuckin’ lie!”

  “Well, believe what you wanna believe!” she belted.

  He snatched her up again trying to strangle her. “Believe what I wanna believe, huh?!” he barked as he dragged her out of the door. “I’ma show you, bitch,” he seethed as he pulled her to the stairs.

  Once Amber heard him dragging Necole down the steps she had to do something. She ran outside. “Stop, Carmelo! She wasn’t with him! Stop,” she begged as she pried herself between them. “Let her go! She’s pregnant! She just went to go get a test!”

  He paused. “What?”

  Amber breathed heavily. “She’s pregnant. She went got a test and didn’t know how to tell you. That’s where she went. It’s in the house. You can see for yourself.”

  “You pregnant?” he asked Necole.

  She nodded, hoping he’d let her go.

  “Damn,” he sighed as he released her. It was like he was having an outer body experience. He saw himself and how stupidly he was behaving. “Why didn’t you say something?”

  “‘Cause you didn’t give me a chance,” Necole gasped as she rubbed her neck. She stared at him. “I can’t believe you. You…you’re…you’re crazy. I can’t do this anymore,” she told him as she headed back into Amber’s apartment. She grabbed her baby and then headed back out the door.

  “Where you going?” Melo asked as he stood on the stairs preventing her from leaving.

  “Can you move?”

  “Answer my question,” he insisted.

  “Home,” she said, holding back the tears. There were people standing around watching, hoping to catch some more action.

  “Okay, let’s go home,” he said as he took their son out of her arms.

  Necole stood while her chest heaved up and down. There were so many things she wanted to say, but just didn’t have the courage. “Okay,” she finally sighed.

  They both went back to their apartment where he apologized even more. He promised to stop getting high. It seemed like Necole was buying it all until he woke up at four in the morning to find that she and the baby were gone.

  * * * * *

  Necole had been at her mom’s for three weeks. She felt such a sense of relief. There was no Carmelo there to stress her out and fight. She needed that break from him. It gave her time to reevaluate her life. Never in a million years did she think that she’d find herself living the way that she was. She had heavy responsibilities and a crazy ass baby daddy to deal with and she was tired. She couldn’t go on that way. She refused to.

  Necole never thought that she’d be dealing with these sorts of issues at such a young age. She was now on public assistance; something she’d hated in the beginning. She received food stamps and WIC for her baby. Amber had convinced her to get help.

  Girl, you better get off that embarrassed kick. I don’t give a damn how much money a nigga give me for my daughter; I want my food stamps, shit. Imagine how much money I would spend if I had to pay for my baby’s milk. You better take anything you can get from the government. If they giving it, I’m taking it.

  Cole
now realized that her friend was absolutely right. She was definitely living a different life with her baby, but they weren’t wanting for anything. Still, her lifestyle had drastically changed and she’d been doing it all with a smile.

  Carmelo had been calling non-stop, but he had yet to become belligerent. He’d sent her apology letters and had even dropped off money. She was shocked that he’d held his composure for as long as he did. He swore up and down that he was done smoking sherms and deep down she wanted to believe him. She didn’t want them to fail, but she couldn’t stay in the situation as it was. She needed to know that he actually wanted to change and was going to put in the effort.

  “Baby, just come home,” he pleaded one evening while they spoke on the phone.

  “Carmelo, don’t you think this is getting old? You say the same shit every time. I can’t do this anymore.”

  “I know that you’re tired. That’s my fault, but now I know better. I been doing a lot of thinking and I know what I need to do. You mean more than anything else and I want to make you happy. I want to be a father for our son and the one you’re carrying. Baby, just give me a chance. That’s all I’m asking for.”

  Necole took a deep breath. “I don’t know, Carmelo. It ain’t just about me and you anymore. I have to think about the wellbeing of my kids. I can’t call myself a mother and then continue to place them in fucked-up environments. It’s not healthy.”

  “Necole, I know that. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’m working on myself, baby. I am going to do better from now on. No more fighting. No more getting high. I’m done with that shit. It’s just us, man. Nothing else.”

  “Necole, is that him?” Ms. Dean asked as she stepped into the room. Necole nodded. “Hang up.”

  “Hold up, mom,” Necole said as she covered the phone.

  “No. I thought you said that you were done with him?”

  Necole sighed. “Mom, I know what I said. Just let me finish talking to him.”

  “For what? Ya’ll have done enough talking. You’re going to sit there and let his ass talk you right into going back home to him. Use your head, Nicky. Think about your son. What will happen the next time he gets high and puts his hands on you? One day he may do something to you that you can’t get up and walk away from.”

  “Man, tell your mama that I would never do something like that to you,” Carmelo spoke into the phone.

  “Mom,” Necole whined. “Please just give me a minute.”

  “No, Necole! Hang up on him!”

  Carmelo sucked his teeth. “Just call me back. Go ahead and talk to her because she ain’t gon let us talk in peace.”

  “Okay. I will,” she said as she ended the call. “Gosh, mom. We were just talking about the baby.”

  Ms. Dean pursed her lips. “Necole, who do you think you’re talking to? I know exactly what you and that loser was talking about. He was making all these false promises about how he’s going to change. He knows that he can sell you that bullshit.”

  “Whatever. Well, eventually I have to go back home anyways.”

  “For what?”

  “It’s my apartment, mom.”

  “Well, then why did you leave it in the first place? If you wanted him gone, you should’ve put his ass in jail.”

  “That’s not how I wanted to handle it.”

  “Aw, Nicky…you got more excuses than a nigga going to jail. Keep it real. He put his hands on you and you ran in the middle of the night.”

  “Well, I don’t have to say anything since you know it all.”

  “Whatever. Why don’t you and CJ stay here? There’s plenty of room for the both of you.”

  “Mom, I can’t intrude on your life like that.”

  “How is that? Any man I date knows that you’re my baby and I wouldn’t mind having my grandson around more. I’m still pissed that he’s more attached to Brenda’s ghetto ass.”

  “Well, the thing is...I’m pregnant.”

  Ms. Dean’s mouth dropped. “Again?”

  Necole nodded.

  “Cole, how could you be so stupid?”

  “It just happened, mom.”

  “No, honey, you used that line last time. So come with a new one. You knew better; but you went and got knocked up anyway. What the fuck were you thinking?!

  “It was an accident, mom. It happens, but that’s why I’m going back to my own place. I’m grown and I made my bed, so I’ma lay in it.”

  “Humph, yeah, I think that’s what you need to do,” Ms. Dean snapped as she stormed out the room. She was so disappointed in her daughter that she just wanted to wash her hands with her completely.

  Chapter 14

  Necole had been home for weeks and surprisingly, Carmelo had been on his best behavior. But he had disappointed her so many times that she couldn’t let her guard down. She waited for him to fuck up, but he was on the straight and narrow. He hustled and came home. That was all he did. He was even putting in quality time with their son more often.

  “No, let daddy show you how to do this,” Carmelo told their son and Necole sat on the couch watching them. They were playing with a little Tonka truck Melo had just bought him.

  “Okay, daddy,” Carmelo Junior smiled.

  “You want to go to the park with me?”

  “Yes,” Junior said innocently.

  “No, Melo, he doesn’t need to get dirty. I’m about to go in a minute and I want him to stay clean,” Necole interjected.

  He looked up. “What that got to do with me? He can stay here and go to the park. You go ahead.”

  “You sure?” she asked with a raised brow.

  He nodded, “Yeah, man. Go let your hair down.”

  She took a deep breath. “Okay.”

  Just then, there was a knock at the door. Carmelo got up to answer it. He checked the peephole and saw Amber on the other side. He opened the door.

  “What’s up?” she asked as she stepped inside.

  “What you want, tramp?” Necole asked.

  Amber went and flopped down on the couch right next to her. “Cole, best friend in the whole wide world, could I please, pretty please with sugar on top…borrow your Louboutins?”

  “My red bottoms? Girl, you must be insane.”

  “Pleeeease,” Amber begged.

  “Okay, but if I see so much as a scuff mark on my shoe…bitch, that ass is mine,” Necole warned.

  “I got you, I got you, Belly,” Amber teased as she rubbed Cole’s protruding stomach.

  “So, why do you need to borrow my shoes? Where are you going?”

  “I got a date,” Amber cheesed.

  “A date? With who?”

  “Girl, this paid ass nigga named James taking me out to eat.”

  “James? Where do you know him from?”

  “I met him in The Ward. This nigga got some major paper.”

  Carmelo sat and listened to Amber go on and on. He hadn’t heard her say anything about the dude being a good man. Her only concern was his pockets. “Say, Amber, I ain’t trying to be in ya business or anything, but is that all you care about?” he asked.

  “What?”

  “Is money your only concern?”

  “Why you say that?”

  “‘Cause I hear you talking about this nigga…you haven’t once said that he a good man and how he makes you feel. All you seem to notice is his cars and money.”

  “What else is there to worry about?” Amber wanted to know.

  “Well…you could want to know what he wants from you. Even if he drops a few dollars on you don’t mean that he wants more than a fuck. Do you even know if the nigga like kids? Tell me, what do you know about him outside of his money?”

  Amber rolled her eyes. “Damn, Black…why you trying to get all deep? I’m young and I ain’t trying to think about that kind of shit right now. I’m trying to have fun.”

  Carmelo shook his head. He was seeing firsthand what Lil’ Daddy had been saying. He claimed that Amber was nothing more than a gold digger. She
was once willing to go the ground over the nigga, but since he didn’t trick on her like he used to, she’d lost interest. She tried to bullshit him by telling him that it was because of all the shit he’d taken her through. When it was all said and done, she was just ready to move on to bigger fish. The sad part was that she was still stringing his boy along. Although they weren’t together, she would still fuck him if he had a little change to offer her. Melo had been urging Lil’ Daddy to leave her alone, but the nigga wouldn’t listen.

  “So, what about my boy?” he asked her.

  “What about him?” she shrugged.

  “Come on, man…I know that ya’ll still fucking around. Don’t you think that you playing a dangerous game?”

  “How? That nigga know that we ain’t together. I didn’t hear your mouth when he was busy fucking over me. Where was all this talk when he had me knocked up and fucking everything moving?”

  “That’s different. You been dealing with that nigga long enough to know that he will fuck you up if he see you with somebody else. You must like drama.”

  “I must,” Amber shrugged. She turned to Necole. “Can you go get the shoes for me? I gotta go.”

  Necole looked up at her girl and shook her head. “Girl, you’re a mess.”

  * * * * *

  “Is that Belly?” Brenda teased as Necole wobbled through the front door.

  “Uh, do I smell hate?” Necole scrounged as she sat on the couch.

  “Hating on what?” Chocolate asked.

  “All this beauty,” she patted her hair.

  “Look at you,” Carmelo shook his head as he carried in a sleeping Junior.

  “Boy, don’t come in here hating like your mother and sister.”

  He chuckled as he took his son into his mom’s bedroom and laid him on her bed.

  “What’s been up? I haven’t seen you in a minute,” Chocolate smiled as she sat next to Necole.

  She sighed. “Girl, just going to school. Trying to maintain with this big ass load.”

  “I feel you,” Chocolate said just before the house phone rang. She reached over and grabbed the cordless phone off the coffee table.

  “Hello.”

  Necole sat and read the expression on Chocolate’s face. “Bitch, what? I wish you would. Come over here, then. You know the spot, hoe. Yeah, you bold, bitch!” she shouted into the phone.