by Sonya Writes
VANITY
a snow white story
Sonya Writes
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2014 Sonya Writes
~
once upon a time…
Cassius cowered behind a curtain as her parents fought in the dining room. She wondered if she could sneak past them and go to her bedroom. No. It was too risky.
“You’re the ugliest woman I’ve ever laid eyes on!” her father shouted. “Inside and out, you are hideous to me. Be gone from my sight, foul woman.”
Crash. It sounded like a vase.
“You’re the one who left this bruise on my face. If I’m ugly it is only a reflection of you.”
Crash. That was glass. Definitely glass. They were throwing things at each other again. The good thing about it was that they had no sense of aim when they were angry. They nearly always missed each other when their fights escalated to the point of throwing things.
“Bruises? You think the bruises are ugly? No, those are your most beautiful features.”
Clang. That sounded like something metal and small. Maybe a spoon or fork. Not a knife, she hoped.
Her mother let out a horrible scream of anger. “You’re despicable. You know that? Despicable!”
Clang. Crash. Cassius plugged her ears, but it didn’t block out the sound nearly enough. Then the crashing stopped. The shouting stopped. Cassius unplugged her ears and peered around the edge of the curtain.
“Where do you think you’re going?” her father demanded. He grabbed his wife’s arm and pulled her toward him. “Answer me.”
“You know where,” she said. She tried to yank her arm back but he wouldn’t let go.
“Oh, I get it,” he said. “You’re going to him, aren’t you? So he can tell you you’re beautiful? So he can buy you flowers and gifts? Well you’re not beautiful. You’re hideous.” He let go of her arm and spit at her feet. “If you walk out that door you are never coming back in.”
Don’t leave me, Cassius thought. She wanted to get up and run to her mother to go with her, but she couldn’t find the courage to do so. She remained seated behind the curtain, her tiny body shaking in fear and silent tears streaming down her cheeks.
“Fine,” she said. “I don’t want to come back.” She backed away toward the door, keeping her eyes fixed on her husband. She didn’t call for Cassius, didn’t look for Cassius; she merely backed up to the door, turned the knob, and left.
Cassius tried to remain perfectly still behind the curtain so she wouldn’t be seen. Her father’s face was red and his fists were clenched. He squeezed his eyes shut and made a sort of growling noise before throwing one of his fists into the wall. The wall didn’t budge and he hurt his hand. He let out a scream and then started throwing things again. Glass was shattering against the floor and occasional shards ended up beneath the curtain. Cassius drew her knees closer to her chest and hugged her legs. She closed her eyes and took deep breaths.
After a while it was quiet again. The lamps were put out and Cassius sat behind the curtain alone in the dark. She listened to the footsteps leading away to her parents’ bedroom.
When Cassius pushed aside the curtain, moonlight shone in and reflected off the glass on the floor. There was a lot of it. Cassius wondered if they had any dishes left at all. He seemed to have emptied the entire cabinet.
Slowly she stood and tied the curtain open. She knew better than to relight the lamp, so she relied on the moonlight to not step on any glass as she left the room. She thought about cleaning it up for her father, but if he was trying to sleep the noise might upset him. So instead she tiptoed around the mess and crept to her room. Her teddy bear waited on her pillow and a small mirror waited on her nightstand.
Cassius picked up the mirror. It had been a gift from her father. She looked at her reflection and the words of a hundred people filled her mind.
You look just like your mother!
Spitting image of your mother.
I see your mom has a little twin, young Cassius.
She thought she’d finished crying for the night, but more tears came as she looked into the mirror and realized her father must find her ugly as well. She put the mirror away and buried her face into the pillow. She tried to tell herself that her mom would come back, but deep down she knew it wasn’t the case. It was true that her mother had left many times before, but this time seemed different. This time seemed final.
~
Cassius woke up to cold air as her blanket was yanked away.
“Get up,” her father demanded. “There’s a mess in the dining room that needs to be cleaned up and I expect breakfast to be ready in twenty minutes.” He left the room, taking her blanket with him.
Cassius shivered for a moment and then realized that she’d fallen asleep in her clothes. Thankfully her father didn’t seem to have noticed. She got out of bed, straightened out her dress and ran her brush through her hair a couple of times before hurrying to the dining room.
Her shoulders dropped. The mess looked even bigger in the daylight. She found a broom and swept a path to the kitchen so she could have breakfast cooking while she swept up the rest of it. She wasn’t sure what they would use to eat with, however. Their plates and glasses appeared to all be destroyed. She checked the sink. Thankfully there were a few dirty dishes from the night before that had been spared from her parents’ fits.
Cassius worked quickly to clean up the mess. She knew her dad would be upset if it wasn’t spotless the next time he saw it. As soon as breakfast was cooking, she swept up all the glass and took it outside. She’d have to dig a hole and bury it later.
Her father entered the room just as she was sweeping up the last bit of glass.
“Is breakfast ready?” he asked.
“Almost, father,” she said. Cassius ran to the kitchen and checked the stove. Good. Nothing was burnt. She quickly washed two plates and forks and set the table. She served her father first and then herself.
“No biscuits?” he asked.
“I didn’t have time to bake any this morning,” she said.
“Hmm. You’ll have to work faster tomorrow morning,” he said.
Cassius nervously folded her napkin in her lap and stared at the edge of her plate. She felt too nervous to eat.
“It tastes good,” he said.
“Thank you.”
“Your mother’s gone now Cassius.”
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to keep her body from trembling.
“She isn’t coming back. Keeping up the house will be your job from now on.”
Deep breaths. “I know,” she said.
“I won’t be hiring any servants to do your job for you, either. You must learn to do it and do it well. You’ll need to know these things if you ever expect to find a husband.”
“Understood.”
“Good. I must be off now. I’ll be home late this afternoon and I’ll expect dinner to be ready.”
“Yes father.”
The door shut. Cassius opened her eyes and tried to relax. Her stomach unknotted itself after a few minutes and she was able to eat. She took her time eating breakfast and then stood to wash the dishes for the second time that morning.
Just as she finished cleaning up the breakfast table, there was a knock at the door. Cassius looked out the window. It was Mrs. Snowshoe. She answered the door.
“Why, hello Cassius! How are you today? Is your mother around?”
“No, Mrs. Snowshoe. She’s not here today.”
“Oh, she’s not? I was so sure that today was the day we’d agreed upon for tea. Do you know when she’ll be back?”
Cassius looked down to her feet. “I think not ever,” she mumbled.
“Not ever? Dear child, what’s going on?” Mrs. Snowshoe glanced around t
he room. “Where is your father?”
“He went to work.”
“And left you here all by yourself?”
Cassius nodded.
“That just won’t do,” she said. “Come along dear. You can spend the day with me and my daughter Genevieve.”
“But daddy said I need to clean the house and—“
“I’ll help you with all of that later, child. For now I want you to come over for a bit. I’ll have Genevieve get some tea ready for us and we can chat.” She started walking toward her home and Cassius followed her.
“Chat about what?”
“Why, whatever it is you need to chat about, child. I’m here for you. You can tell me anything.”
~
Her father was none too happy when he found out where she’d been all day. Mrs. Snowshoe stopped by after they’d eaten dinner to talk with him about it.
“I told her to take care of the house herself. She needs to learn to manage a household.”
“The child is eight years old, sir,” Mrs. Snowshoe insisted. “What she needs is a mother.”
“Well she don’t got one.”
Mrs. Snowshoe tapped her foot on the floor. “Now, I won’t pry into your business about where your wife has disappeared to—“
“Good. Then go home.”
“No,” she said. “I won’t.”
Cassius admired the way Mrs. Snowshoe spoke to her father. She didn’t lose her temper but she also didn’t blink when angry words were thrown her way.
“This child needs someone to raise her while you’re at work. Now, listen. I’m willing to keep her in my home during the day. She can learn alongside my daughter and I’ll teach her everything she needs to know to be a proper lady.”
“She needs to be here keeping the house clean and cooking my meals. I won’t be coming home to a dirty house and no dinner.”
“Dinner was ready when you returned home today, was it not? I’ll see to it that her responsibilities are all taken care of.”
He glared at her.
“Think of it this way: if she’s home by herself with no one to teach her, how will she learn to clean or cook any better than she knows now? Let me teach her. You’ll both be glad for my help.”
“Fine,” he said through clenched teeth. “Now go.”
Mrs. Snowshoe ignored his demeanor. She gave a quick nod and smile to Cassius. “I’ll see you tomorrow, dear,” she said. Cassius studied the way she walked as she moved toward the door and left. She looked like she was floating along the ground in her big billowy dress. Cassius wanted to be just like her.
Once Mrs. Snowshoe was gone, Cassius felt alone and afraid. Her father appeared angry as usual, but something told her that he was as happy about Mrs. Snowshoe entering her life as she was. He just refused to show it.
“Don’t fall behind in your chores because of this,” he said.
“I won’t,” she promised.
He made a grunting noise and then dragged his feet down the hall toward his bedroom. Ten minutes later Cassius could hear the low rumble of his snoring.
Cassius went to her own room and changed into her bed clothes. She held up her small mirror once more and thought about her new friends. She’d seen Mrs. Snowshoe many times before but this was her first time really getting to know Genevieve. Genevieve was older than Cassius by a few years but just as lovely as her mother. The two of them had treated her so well all day, as if she were a princess.
“I wish I looked like Genevieve,” she said as she looked at herself in the mirror. “She’s so beautiful. Such dark hair and perfect red lips. She looks like a doll. And she walks like her mother as if they’re dancing on clouds. I hope I can learn to be like them.”
Then she heard that voice again. It was the voice of her own self-doubt.
You’re ugly like your mother. You’ll never be as pretty as Genevieve.
Cassius put down the mirror and bit her lip. How many times had she heard her father call her mother ugly names and criticize her appearance? How many times had well-meaning adults told her she looked just like her mom? A tear rolled down her cheek and landed on her pillow. She picked up the mirror again.
“I’ll be beautiful one day,” she said. “And I’ll know I’m beautiful because daddy will tell me so.”
~
7 years later
Cassius tore open the curtains and looked outside. “Today is going to be a beautiful day!” she said. The king was throwing a ball and she was able to come as a guest with Mrs. Snowshoe and Genevieve. At fifteen years old, it would be her first time attending a royal ball. She quickly dressed and ran downstairs to prepare breakfast. She hummed a tune as she set the table. Her father came in and sat down.
“I don’t know what you’re so excited about,” he said. “It’s not like anyone’s going to want to dance with you.”
Cassius felt her shoulders tighten at his words and her smile faded a bit. She took a slow breath and forced the smile back onto her face. “I’m just going for the fun of it,” she said.
“Well try to look decent today,” he said. “Don’t embarrass me.”
She frowned and pulled the tray of biscuits out of the oven. After putting one on her father’s plate beside the rest of his food, she sat down. He didn’t look at her. He almost never looked at her directly; his eyes were always down or off to the side. Cassius had noticed it many times, but never brought it up for fear of his response. Today, however, she was feeling bold.
“Father,” she said, “Why do you refuse to look at me?”
He looked up for a moment and then looked away again. “You just look so much like your mother,” he said.
Cassius didn’t look at him either after that. She kept her eyes averted and thought about what he’d said. She’d suspected that was his reason, but had hoped to hear something else.
~
It was a few hours before the ball. Cassius and Genevieve were both dressed but needed their hair done. Mrs. Snowshoe asked Cassius to sit in front of their tall standing mirror so she could fix her hair.
Cassius sat and studied her reflection. Mrs. Snowshoe pulled the brush through her hair and Cassius thought about her father’s comment that morning. “Am I ugly?” she asked.
“Now child that’s the tenth time you’ve asked me that question this month and probably the thousandth time you’ve asked since your mother ran off. I don’t want to have to say it again, Cassius. You are beautiful. Why, I know girls who would kill to have your looks. Not literally I hope, but still.”
“My father says—“
“Yes, yes. I know what your father says. You’ve told me before. You need to stop listening when he says those things. Show him his due respect seeing he’s your father and all, but I tell you he is not a good judge of beauty if he thinks you’re ugly, nor if he thought your mother was ugly. She was beautiful as well.” Mrs. Snowshoe dragged the brush through a knot in her hair. “And besides, he probably doesn’t mean those things when he says them. He’s just bitter is all. He knew your mother was beautiful and he’s bitter about their marriage breaking up. Seeing you every bit as beautiful as she was…it’s probably painful for him. So you just mind your manners, be the sweet young lady you are, and ignore it whenever he says something about the way you look. He doesn’t mean a word of it.”
Cassius sighed. “Okay,” she said. She looked in the mirror and tried to see what Mrs. Snowshoe saw. But her self-image was tainted by everything she’d heard from her father, and she wasn’t convinced that her father didn’t mean it when he said those things. Still, it felt good to hear Mrs. Snowshoe say she was beautiful.
“Would you say it again?” she asked.
Mrs. Snowshoe had gotten lost in thought. “Hmm? What’s that dear?”
“That I’m beautiful,” she said.
Mrs. Snowshoe stopped brushing Cassius’s hair and knelt in front of her to look her in the eye. “Cassius, you are beautiful,” she said. “You are exceedingly beautiful, inside and out.”
Cassius felt tears come to her eyes. “Thank you, Mrs. Snowshoe,” she said.
~
King Augustus was new to the throne at 25 years old. His parents both died of illness about six months previously, and his father’s dying wish had been for him to find a good wife from their kingdom rather than searching elsewhere. Augustus never said so, but everyone suspected that this ball was thrown for the purpose of him meeting a few young ladies from the kingdom.
Cassius felt like a princess when they arrived. She and Genevieve had grown to love one another as sisters, and both were excited about the ball. Cassius was dressed in blue while Genevieve wore a dark green gown, and they both had their hair French-braided. Mrs. Snowshoe had been kind enough to let Cassius borrow a bit of her jewelry since she had none of her own, and the pearl necklace she chose looked lovely with her dress.
Cassius followed Genevieve like a shadow and tried to borrow some of her confidence. Genevieve had a natural elegance about her that drew in the attention of others, and she had the confidence to talk with anyone. It wasn’t long after they arrived that King Augustus himself took interest in Genevieve.
Cassius watched from several feet away as the king asked Genevieve to dance. She wondered what it would be like to dance with a king. She was a little jealous, not because she was interested in Augustus, but because Genevieve had someone interested in her and Cassius didn’t. But she looked around the room and knew that there weren’t many people her age who could be interested in her. Compared to everyone else in the room, Cassius was still a child.
She watched from the sidelines as the king’s romance with Genevieve blossomed. She wanted to know what they were saying to each other. They kept smiling and laughing. It looked so natural between them. Very little ever felt natural for Cassius. She wanted so much to be like Genevieve.
Her ears picked up the sound of delightful whispering and Cassius noticed a group of women who were watching Genevieve and His Majesty as well. They kept whispering and pointing. Cassius moved closer to listen.