by Sonya Writes
“I wouldn’t be surprised if he married her,” said one. “Just look at how happy he is.”
“Yes, and she would make a lovely bride. Her beauty is fit for a queen. Do you see how she dances? Such grace.”
I wonder if anyone could ever say those sorts of things about me, Cassius thought. When I am older, would I make a lovely bride?
She watched Genevieve and Augustus the entire evening. They danced and laughed together, and Cassius was sure the older women were right in their speculation. Augustus was going to marry that girl. And if Cassius could learn to be like her, maybe Cassius would be married to a good man one day too.
~
two years later
It came to pass that Genevieve did marry King Augustus, and it wasn’t long afterward that she learned she was with child. Mrs. Snowshoe was even more excited about the child than the marriage, and when news came that Genevieve was in labor, Mrs. Snowshoe could hardly contain herself.
“Hurry, Cassius! We must get inside before the baby is born. I want to be there when it happens!”
“I’m hurrying,” she said. She was surprised how quickly Mrs. Snowshoe could go when she was excited. Cassius had never seen the woman move so fast. She’d practically leaped out of the carriage and was now running up the marble staircase toward the giant doors to the palace.
Once inside they were shown to the room where Genevieve was to give birth. Cassius waited in the hall but Mrs. Snowshoe wasted no time in entering. Cassius paced back and forth outside the door, wondering why she’d come. She didn’t know much about babies and she felt useless waiting in the hallway.
Hours passed and Cassius was getting hungry. Occasionally someone would go in and out of the room, but Cassius stayed in the hallway. She wanted to know what was going on, but she felt it would be an invasion of privacy if she entered the room. So she waited. Paced and waited. She occupied herself by studying the paintings on the wall. There was a tall portrait of Augustus with his parents when he was a child. He was a cute little boy with mud-brown hair and olive skin. Cassius wondered if their child would look more like him or like Genevieve with her black hair and fair skin. Perhaps the child would be a combination of the two. She thought of Mrs. Snowshoe and how fitting the name was for their family. Their skin was so white, as if they’d never stepped into a ray of sunshine. But Cassius knew they had. Mrs. Snowshoe was no stranger to the sun and neither was her daughter.
A scream came from the room and traveled down the hallway. It sounded like Genevieve. Cassius’s whole body tightened up; she hoped everything was okay. Noise droned on from several people talking, and Genevieve continued to make loud inarticulate sounds. Cassius walked further down the hall to be away from all the noise. She found it stressful and couldn’t imagine having the noise of so many people around her if she was trying to birth a child. Suddenly she was glad for her youth and single status; she didn’t want to be a mother any time soon.
After a while, Genevieve’s yelling receded and the sounds of everyone else got louder. Someone was shouting happily that the child was a girl. Cassius was curious and wanted to see, but she felt too much like an outsider for this occasion. Mrs. Snowshoe and Genevieve had always helped her to feel at home with them, but this was different. She was in the king’s domain, and he was still very much a stranger to her. Even after Genevieve’s courtship and marriage to King Augustus, the man never seemed to notice Cassius at all. It didn’t matter how frequently they ended up in the same room together, Cassius may as well have been invisible every single time.
She wondered why Mrs. Snowshoe had insisted on bringing her along for this occasion. She would have preferred to stay home and see the baby some other day. Cassius took a deep breath and decided to explore a bit. She continued walking down the hall away from the noise. She passed an old grandfather clock and looked at the time. It couldn’t be right, could it? Was it almost dinner time? Cassius took a deep breath and hoped her father would understand her being late. The heir to the throne was being born, after all.
“Cassius!”
She turned and looked. She didn’t see anyone but she knew it was Mrs. Snowshoe calling. She sounded happy. Cassius went back toward the room. The door was open now and she entered. Mrs. Snowshoe stood near the door with a wrapped up baby in her arms. She couldn’t see the child’s face, but Mrs. Snowshoe was wearing the biggest smile Cassius had ever seen. There were several other people in the room who Cassius didn’t recognize, but Genevieve and King Augustus were no longer in the room.
“Where is Genevieve?” Cassius asked. She looked down at the tiny baby in Mrs. Snowshoe’s arms. Mrs. Snowshoe adjusted her arms so Cassius could see the child’s face. Her skin was slightly red and she had a full head of black hair; it was at least an inch long and looked quite soft.
“She’s been helped to another room to clean up and rest,” Mrs. Snowshoe said. “The labor was hard on her.”
The tiny baby started to cry. Cassius wondered if the child was hungry, but she didn’t say anything about it. She just watched. Mrs. Snowshoe rocked the child in her arms and hummed a lullaby while Cassius thought once again about the clock she’d seen in the hallway.
“Will we be much longer?” she asked. “I’m concerned about upsetting my father if I’m late in preparing dinner.”
“Is it that late already? I suppose we have been here a while.”
A moment later, Augustus entered the room and approached the two of them to talk with Mrs. Snowshoe. “Our lovely Genevieve is doing well,” he said. “The midwife said she should recover just fine once she has a chance to rest.” He smiled and reached out for his daughter. Cassius noticed the child’s skin wasn’t quite so red as it was when she first saw her.
“We’ve talked about it and decided to name the child after both of our mothers,” he said. “Snow after your last name, and White after my mother’s maiden name. Snow White.” He held the tiny bundle close to his chest and closed his eyes for a moment.
“Snow White,” Cassius whispered. The king barely seemed to notice her standing there, but he smiled upon hearing his daughter’s name.
He looked to Mrs. Snowshoe once more. “Genevieve is ready to hold Snow White now,” he said. “She’s been asking to see her daughter. We both thank you for your presence during the birth. You were a good support to Genevieve.”
Mrs. Snowshoe nodded. “I’d like to come in and say good night to Genevieve,” she said. “And I will come by again tomorrow to see how the three of you are doing.”
He smiled once more. He had the sort of smile that took over his whole face, as if every cell in his body were smiling. But none of the smile was directed at Cassius; she wondered if he even noticed her standing there.
Mrs. Snowshoe followed her son-in-law to another room but Cassius stayed behind and waited. At least fifteen minutes passed before Mrs. Snowshoe returned. Cassius said nothing as they walked out of the palace and toward the carriage that would take them each home. Mrs. Snowshoe filled in the silence with joyful chatting which Cassius only half paid attention to. She didn’t want to spoil the mood, but all she could think about was getting home before her father did and preparing his dinner so he wouldn’t be angry. It was already past the time he would be home most likely and she feared how upset he would be with her for this.
At long last the carriage stopped in front of the path to her house. Cassius hurried out of the carriage and called back a quick goodbye as she ran to the house. She ran all the way up the path and then stopped at the bottom of the stairs. She took a deep breath and prayed her father wouldn’t be angry.
She braced herself to be yelled at and walked up the steps. She waited outside the door for a moment and then cautiously turned the knob, expecting the angry shouts to begin the moment she stepped inside.
Silence. Cassius entered the house and closed the door behind her. Silence. Maybe he went to bed early, she thought. Or maybe he was so upset by my absence that he left. She hoped he hadn’t gone to Mrs. Snowshoe’s house look
ing for her. But if he had, perhaps she could have dinner prepared before he returned. Perhaps Mrs. Snowshoe could convince him to not be half so angry. She went to the kitchen to start dinner, but something wasn’t right. The lanterns were on throughout the house and it wasn’t like her father to leave them lit when he wasn’t home.
She crept to his bedroom and peered inside. He wasn’t in bed. She looked all throughout the house and didn’t find him, but she noticed the back door was open. Cassius stepped outside and there she saw him, sprawled face down in the grass with a bottle in his hand.
For a long time Cassius stood still and stared at him. His body was motionless and the air smelled of alcohol. But after a few moments she realized his body was too still. She didn’t see the rise and fall of his chest that should be apparent if he was breathing. Cautiously she stepped closer—fearful of his anger but concerned for his health. She placed her hand on his arm and gently shook him. He didn’t stir. His skin felt cold.
“Father,” she said. He didn’t move. She said it louder. Still he didn’t move. She started shaking him by his shoulders and shouting his name. Nothing helped. Suddenly Cassius was out of breath. Her heart was racing. She needed help.
Cassius jumped up and ran down the path toward Mrs. Snowshoe’s house. If anyone would be willing to help her, it would be Mrs. Snowshoe.
~
Only a few people showed up for the funeral, and Cassius had the driest eyes out of everyone. Her overwhelming feeling was relief rather than grief, and a little bit of guilt over not feeling as sad as she thought she should.
Afterward, Cassius went home so she could pack up the personal items she wanted to keep. Now that her father was gone, she was going to live with Mrs. Snowshoe and sleep in the room that used to be Genevieve’s. Mrs. Snowshoe said she would come by to help her carry things after an hour or two. As she packed, she came across her handheld mirror and glanced at her reflection.
It’s too late. Now you’ll never know if he thought you were beautiful. You’ll never hear him say it.
Her bottom lip quivered. Her eyes went cloudy, distorting her vision. All she ever wanted was to feel loved by her father. To feel special, beautiful in his eyes. He was gone and that would never happen.
Cassius threw the mirror across the room. It hit the wall and shattered.
The sound of glass breaking stirred up rage inside her. It took her back to the night her mother left and suddenly she realized how much she hated her parents. She stormed through the house to destroy everything that reminded her of them.
Crash.
Picture frame.
Crash.
Flower vase.
Crash.
Crash. Crash. Crash.
Cassius clenched her fists and screamed at the top of her lungs. She hit her head on the wall once and then sat down with her eyes closed. Slowly she loosened up her muscles to release the rage, and when she opened her eyes she saw the destruction she’d caused. Broken was glass everywhere, like the night her mother left.
You’re just like you’re mother, she thought.
And then she cried.
~
five years later
Snow White ran up to Cassius and threw her arms around her. “I love you Auntie Cassie!” she said.
Cassius patted her head. “I’m happy to see you too, Snow,” she said.
Mrs. Snowshoe smiled. “It looks like you’ll be fine without me,” she said. “Cassius, thank you for watching Snow White today.”
“It’s not a problem,” she said. “I love looking after Snow White.”
“I know you do, dear,” she said. “I’ll see you both later.”
As soon as the door was closed, Snow White started jumping up and down. “I hope it’s a baby sister!” she said. “I hope it’s a baby sister!”
Cassius laughed. “Sister or brother, I know you’ll love your new little sibling.”
Snow White stuck out her lip. “I wish I could be there,” she said.
“You’re not missing much,” Cassius said. “I was there when you were born, and mostly it was just hours of waiting. The fun part comes afterward, once your parents are rested and the baby has had a little time to adjust to the world.”
“Then I get to hold her!”
“Or him,” Cassius said.
Snow White stuck out her tongue and Cassius laughed.
“Why do you want a sister so much instead of a brother?”
“Cause then I can do sister things, like you and my mommy did when you were little.”
“We weren’t exactly little,” Cassius said, “but I think I know what you mean.” She knelt down to Snow White’s level and looked in her eyes. “How about this? If you have a baby brother, I’ll do sister things with you just like your mommy did sister things with me.”
Snow White’s mouth dropped open, and then she lunged forward to hug Cassius. They fell over into a pile of arms and legs, and both started laughing together. Cassius loved it when Snow White came over to visit. Mrs. Snowshoe watched the little girl about once a week so Genevieve and Augustus could have time alone together, and Cassius always made sure to play with Snow White when she was around. The little girl was adorable and sweet, and Cassius loved her.
Hours passed. The whole day went by and darkness came. Snow White was yawning but she didn’t have her nightgown or her special bedtime doll. Everyone had thought she’d be home by nightfall to meet the new baby. Cassius dressed her in an old shirt and laid her down on the sofa.
“Did it take this long when I was born?” she asked.
Cassius shook her head. “No,” she said. “But sometimes it takes longer than others for a child to be born. I’m sure all is well.” She tucked a blanket up under Snow White’s chin and softly touched her cheek. “Get some rest, little one,” she said. “Before you know it you’ll be heading home to meet your little sister.”
“Or brother,” Snow White added.
Cassius smiled. “Or brother.”
“Can you read me a story?”
Cassius nodded and left the room to find a book, but when she returned, Snow White was already asleep. Cassius placed a kiss on her forehead and then went to prepare for bed herself.
~
A blinding ray of sunshine lit up the room when Cassius awoke. Snow White was shaking her arm.
“Auntie Cassie, Auntie Cassie!”
“I’m up,” she said. She closed her eyes.
“No you’re not!”
Cassius smiled. “Well I’m almost up,” she said. “What’s going on? Is grandma home?”
Snow White shook her head. “No,” she said.
Cassius sat up. “She’s not back yet? What time is it?”
“I’m hungry, Auntie Cassie. It’s hungry time.”
Cassius tried to hide her concern. She couldn’t imagine why Mrs. Snowshoe wouldn’t be back yet. She hoped nothing went wrong with the birth. “I’ll make breakfast,” she said. She patted Snow White on the head and got up.
In the kitchen, Cassius scrambled eggs and served day-old bread. “Are you sure grandma hasn’t been by?” she asked. She put the plate down in front of Snow White and then went to make herself one.
Snow White shook her head while she chewed. “Uh-huh,” she mumbled.
That’s odd, Cassius thought.
“When am I going home?” Snow White asked.
“I’m not sure,” Cassius said. I thought you’d be going home yesterday. This was her first time watching Snow White overnight. She was glad things were going well so far, but concerned as to why. Why hadn’t Mrs. Snowshoe come back yet? Why wasn’t there any news from the palace?
The day passed slowly for Cassius. By the time she was serving lunch she was really concerned. Snow White didn’t seem as bothered by the lack of news, and Cassius tried to keep it that way by entertaining her and reading a lot of books to pass the time.
“Read that one again!” Snow White said.
“But we’ve read it six times!”
Cassius forced a smile. “Okay,” she said. She kept hoping to hear the door open, but the sound didn’t come. The clock overwhelmed the room. Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Hours passed and Mrs. Snowshoe still had not returned.
“I like sleeping over with you,” Snow White said. She cuddled up into Cassius’s lap and listened to the stories. “I want to sleep over again and again.”
Hopefully not tonight, Cassius thought. She sighed. It was almost sunset again. Mrs. Snowshoe had to return soon. It wasn’t that Cassius minded watching Snow White, but she worried what this meant. Could Genevieve still be in labor? Had something gone wrong? She tried to push the thoughts out of her mind.
Snow White yawned.
“You sleepy, little bug?” she asked.
The child nodded.
“How about you rest here while I make dinner, then,” she said. She spread a blanket over Snow White and went to the kitchen. A few minutes later the door opened. At last, Cassius thought. She went to greet Mrs. Snowshoe, but the look on her face said it all. Something had gone terribly wrong.
“Is Snow White awake?” she whispered.
Cassius glanced over at the sleeping child. “No,” she said.
Mrs. Snowshoe’s shoulders dropped and she let out a long breath. “We won’t wake her then,” she said. “The king could use another night to grieve. I’ll take her home in the morning.”
“Grieve?”
Mrs. Snowshoe closed her eyes and shook her head. She looked like her whole body was about to crumble. She brought her hands to her eyes and started sobbing. Mrs. Snowshoe found her way to a chair and sat down. She put her head on the table and with her eyes still closed she spoke. “They’re gone,” she said. “They’re both gone. Genevieve…and the baby.” Her voice broke and she started crying again.
Cassius didn’t know what to say. Tears came to her eyes and her mouth parted in shock. “Genevieve’s gone,” she said. She looked over to Snow White, hurting more for Snow White’s loss than her own. Genevieve was like a sister to Cassius, but Cassius hadn’t forgotten what it was like to lose a mother. “I’m so sorry,” she said.