Vanity

by Sonya Writes

  Cassius helped Mrs. Snowshoe to bed and put away the food she’d gotten out for dinner. No one would be eating supper that night. Their appetites were gone, replaced with sorrow. As Cassius headed to her bedroom, she couldn’t help remembering that at one time it had been Genevieve’s room. She passed by the sofa which Snow White slept on and felt that it wouldn’t be right to leave her there to sleep alone. Not on a night like this. Snow White didn’t know her mother was gone yet, but she would know soon enough. Any added comfort before she found out would be a good thing. Cassius scooped up the sleeping child and carried her into her bedroom. She placed her down in the middle of the bed and curled up beside her. “Sleep well, Snow White,” she said. “Tomorrow will come all too soon.”

  ~

  The next day a messenger’s knock awoke everyone in the house. The king had sent a note for Mrs. Snowshoe, to request that she keep Snow White a few more days.

  Mrs. Snowshoe frowned. “Will I have to be the one to tell her, then?” she asked the note. She crumpled it up and threw it down.

  “I can tell her, if you wish,” Cassius offered.

  “Tell who what?” Snow White asked. Both adults looked down at her. The child yawned and rubbed her eyes.

  “I’m going back to bed,” Mrs. Snowshoe announced.

  “Am I going home now? Grandma’s back.”

  Cassius shook her head. “Not yet,” she said.

  “Why?” She watched her grandmother go to her room. “Why’s grandma sad?” Then she remembered the baby and started jumping. “Is it a sister?” she asked.

  Cassius sighed. “Come sit down,” she said. “There’s something I need to tell you.”

  Snow White followed her to the living room. “It was a brother, wasn’t it? That’s why grandma’s sad. She knew I wanted a sister. But I’m not sad because you said you’d do sister things with me. I get to do sister things and brother things.”

  Cassius sat down and pulled Snow White into her lap. “Snow White, I’m not sure how to tell you this…”

  “Tell me what?”

  “Snow White…your mom, she…”

  “Were there two babies?”

  Cassius shook her head. “No, Snow White. Only one.”

  “A boy or a girl?”

  “Grandma didn’t say.”

  Snow White wrinkled her nose. “That’s a silly thing not to say,” she said.

  “Snow White, listen. The baby…it died.”

  The child’s mouth dropped open. “You mean I don’t get a brother or a sister?”

  Cassius took a deep breath. “And,” she said, “Your mom died. They’re both gone.”

  “My mommy’s…gone?” Snow White’s lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears. She leaned on Cassius’s chest and closed her eyes. “But where did she go? Who will be my mommy? I want to see my mommy!”

  “We can’t see her,” Cassius said. “She’s gone.”

  Snow White’s voice rose to a yell. “I want to see her!”

  Cassius closed her eyes and rubbed the child’s back. “I’m sorry Snow White. I am so sorry.”

  “Why is she gone?” she asked through tears. “Where is she? I don’t understand.” Her body shook as she sobbed.

  Cassius felt helpless and unsure of how to comfort her. “Your mommy loved you,” she said. “She loved you very much.”

  “But I want to see her.”

  Cassius sighed. “Everything’s going to be okay, Snow White. I don’t know how, but it will.”

  The child looked up at her and studied her face. “Will…will you…” Cassius could tell she was holding back tears. Snow White pulled herself up to lean on Cassius’s shoulder. “Will you still be my new sister?” she asked.

  Cassius took a deep breath and gave Snow White a gentle squeeze. “Snow White, I’ll be whatever you need me to be.”

  ~

  three months later

  Snow White spent a lot of time with Mrs. Snowshoe and Cassius after her mother passed away. King Augustus was too overwhelmed and grief-stricken to give her the attention she needed and also look after the kingdom. In addition, Snow White looked so much like her mother that Augustus found it hard to look at her sometimes. She reminded him of his sadness. He felt the same about Mrs. Snowshoe. She was a reminder of what Genevieve would have been one day.

  Every day a servant would come by either to drop off Snow White, pick her up, or to inquire about her well-being. Sometimes Snow White stayed with Mrs. Snowshoe for a few days at a time, other times she only stayed until dinner and then went home. King Augustus rarely visited, and Snow White complained that she didn’t see him much even when she stayed at the palace with him.

  It was a Wednesday afternoon and Cassius was showing Snow White how to play Mrs. Snowshoe’s piano. Cassius didn’t know much more about it than Snow White did, but she knew a couple of basic songs, ones Genevieve had taught her years before.

  Cassius and Snow White barely noticed when the knock came at the door, but when they realized who it was, Snow White jumped up from the piano and ran to see him.

  “Daddy!” she said. She wrapped her arms around his legs and squeezed.

  Augustus chuckled. “I’m glad to see you too,” he said. Once he pried her arms off his legs he was able to kneel on the floor beside her. “I bet you’re surprised to see me today,” he said.

  Snow White nodded. She didn’t expect to go home for another two days, and she certainly didn’t expect it would be her father to come pick her up. He always sent a servant to escort her to and from the palace.

  “I hadn’t planned to come get you today, but I was trying to get a few things done and I realized how quiet it was without you around. I miss your laughter. I miss your company. The palace isn’t the same without you.”

  “I miss you too, Daddy.”

  “Snow White, I haven’t been a very good father to you lately. I want to make it up to you. Let’s go home.”

  Snow White smiled and threw her arms around his neck. The king thanked Mrs. Snowshoe for her help, and a few minutes later he left with his daughter.

  ~

  “It’s lonely around here without Snow White,” Cassius said.

  Mrs. Snowshoe nodded. “It is,” she said. “Hard to believe she hasn’t been here in two weeks. I got so used to having her around.”

  “Me too.”

  “Think we should go visit?”

  Cassius looked up and smiled. She’d been waiting for this to be suggested. She didn’t feel acquainted enough with the king to suggest it herself. “Yes, please,” she said.

  “This afternoon, then. We’ll go to the palace for some time with Snow White.”

  ~

  They arrived at the palace around 2pm and one of the servants walked down the hall with them to where King Augustus was. It turned out Snow White was still taking her nap.

  “Mrs. Snowshoe!” Augustus said. He stepped forward for a light hug and then stepped back to glance at Cassius.

  “And who is this beautiful young lady?”

  Cassius looked around to see who he was talking about. There was no one else there. “Me?” she asked. She was surprised that he noticed her.

  “Augustus, you know Cassius,” Mrs. Snowshoe said. “She moved in with me after her father died, when Snow White was born. She was like a sister to Genevieve.”

  “Cassius,” he said. “I barely recognized you. You look like you’ve blossomed overnight.”

  Her cheeks felt warm all of a sudden. Was the king really noticing her? He’d never paid much attention to her before, and now he was speaking to her and calling her beautiful. Beautiful.

  Cassius curtsied. “Thank you, Your Majesty,” she said. She felt a pang of guilt for finding him attractive and wondered what Genevieve would think of this if she were alive.

  He smiled. “So you’re the one Snow White is in love with. She talks about you all the time, Cassie.”

  Now she knew she was blushing. She hoped Mrs. Snowshoe wouldn’t notice and get u
pset. No one ever called her Cassie except for Snow White. It felt special to hear that name from his lips. She did some quick math in her head. He was 32 years old, ten years older than she was. That wasn’t too big of a difference, was it? She scolded herself for thinking such a thought. It was disrespectful toward Genevieve.

  “Your daughter is a true pleasure,” she said. “We’ve missed her a lot.”

  “Snow White has missed you, too. We were just talking about coming to visit soon. I see you’ve beaten us to it, however. She’ll be glad to see both of you when she wakes from her nap. Especially you, Cassie.”

  “How long has she been asleep?” Mrs. Snowshoe asked.

  “Only about ten minutes. Gwen has had a difficult time getting her down. They don’t get along very well.”

  “Who?”

  “Gwen. The nanny I hired to watch her when I’m busy. It’s so nice having Snow White home more often

  “You should have told me,” Mrs. Snowshoe said. “Cassius and I would have been glad to help you here at the palace if that’s what you needed.”

  “Oh, it’s all right,” he said. “I wouldn’t want to burden either of you any more than I already have.”

  “It’s not a burden at all,” Cassius piped in. “I love your daughter as much as if she were my own.”

  Augustus stared at her for a while and then nodded his head. “I can see that,” he said.

  Their conversation was interrupted by screaming.

  “Get out! Get out!” It was Snow White.

  Cassius, Mrs. Snowshoe and King Augustus all ran toward the sound and watched as Gwen slinked out of Snow White’s bedroom. At first glance Cassius thought the girl looked like Genevieve, but she had a plain face and flatter chest. Her hair and complexion were almost the same, though. Cassius felt a bit queasy to see Genevieve’s duller look-a-like walking around the palace. She couldn’t imagine how Snow White felt about it.

  “That girl is impossible,” Gwen said.

  Cassius rolled her eyes. “Snow White is a doll,” she said. She turned to King Augustus. “Do you mind if I speak with Snow White alone for a moment?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Go ahead,” he told her.

  Cassius entered the room alone.

  “I told you to go away,” Snow White said. She was sitting on her bed, facing the wall.

  “Knock, knock,” Cassius said. “It’s me.”

  Snow White turned to look at her and her face lit up. “Auntie Cassie!”

  Cassius walked over to Snow White and sat beside her on the bed. They hugged each other. “I’ve missed you,” she said.

  “I missed you too.” Snow White sniffled a few times and buried her head into Cassius’s shoulder. “Daddy brought that new girl to take care of me and I don’t like her.”

  I don’t either, Cassius thought, but she didn’t tell Snow White. “Why don’t you like her?” she asked.

  “She tries to act like my mommy and do mommy things with me. ‘Do this. Do that.’ I don’t want her to be my mommy.” Her eyes filled with tears and her lip quivered. “I miss mommy,” she whispered.

  “I miss your mommy too,” Cassius said. She rubbed Snow White’s arm and gave a gentle squeeze. “But you know, I bet your mommy would want you to be happy. She would be okay with it if you decide to like Gwen and give her a chance. Someone needs to do mommy things with you. Someone needs to help you get dressed, brush your hair, take your naps. Your daddy has a whole kingdom to look after; he needs someone to help look after you.”

  “I know,” Snow White said. “I liked when you did those things with me.”

  “What was different about me helping you instead of Gwen?”

  “When you did it, it was more like sister things instead of mommy things.” Snow White started playing with her fingers. Cassius could tell she was staring at her hands to avoid crying.

  Cassius reached over and held Snow White’s hand. “It’s okay to miss your mommy,” she said. “It’s okay to be sad about that.”

  A few tears dropped from Snow White’s eyes. “I don’t want to be sad.”

  “No one likes to be sad,” Cassius said. “But sometimes we need to get all the tears out so we can feel better. Would you like me to sit here with you and let you cry?”

  Snow White looked up at her and nodded.

  “Okay. I’ll hold you and you can cry as much as you need to. If there’s anything you want to talk about, I’ll listen.”

  Snow White sat and stared at her hands a little longer, and then the tears started falling. She choked out words between tears. “I’m sad. And mad. I want my mommy back. I wish she never had another baby. I wish it was just me and her and daddy forever. I don’t want another mommy. I don’t want Gwen telling me what to do. ‘Do this’ she says. ‘Do that.’ ‘I’ll swat your butt.’ ‘Don’t cry so much.’ ‘Be quiet.’ ‘Go to a corner.’ ‘You need to listen to me.’ ‘Eat your peas.’” Snow White sniffled and then wailed. “I don’t like peas!”

  Cassius kept her arms around the tiny child and closed her eyes as she listened. Tears were forming under her own eyelids and eventually they started to drip down her cheeks, but she didn’t interrupt what Snow White was saying.

  Eventually Snow White’s crying settled out. She stopped talking and wiped away the last few tears from her eyes. Her face was red and her nose was running. Cassius handed her a handkerchief and she wiped off her face. Snow White looked away and cried a little more, silently this time. Tears fell and her shoulders shook, but after a while it was over. Her tears were gone. She buried her face into Cassius’s chest and rested there for a while.

  “Do you feel a little better?” Cassius asked.

  Snow White nodded, her face still buried in Cassius’s blouse.

  Cassius formed a thin smile and rubbed her back. “Everything’s going to be okay,” she said.

  Snow White’s body started to shake again, but it wasn’t crying this time, it was stifled giggling.

  “What is it?” Cassius asked. Then she felt tiny fingers reaching up under her arm to tickle her. “Ha!” she said, and she tickled Snow White back. They rolled over in her bed and giggled together. After a few minutes they lay quiet. Snow White reached out and grabbed Cassius’s hand.

  “Auntie Cassie, can we do that crying thing again sometime?”

  Cassius nodded. “Any time you need,” she said. She tousled the kid’s hair. “You ready to go see grandma?”

  Snow White looked up, her eyes bright. “Grandma’s here?” she asked.

  “Yes, silly. I didn’t come here all by myself. She’s probably still in the hallway waiting for you to come out.”

  “Eeee,” she said. Snow White jumped up and ran to the door. Cassius stretched for a moment and then followed her. As she stepped through the door, someone grabbed her arm. It was the king.

  “Cassie, may I speak with you?” he said.

  Snow White and Mrs. Snowshoe were down the hall a short way, hugging and chatting together. Cassius nodded and followed Augustus several paces away from them. He turned to look at her.

  “I was really impressed with how you handled her in there,” he said. “I was out here listening the whole time. You get along well with her.”

  She nodded.

  “I want you to stay here. Live in the palace with us.”

  Her mouth opened a little. “But…”

  “No buts,” he said. “Snow White needs you. I need you.”

  “You?”

  “My family will fall apart if Snow White is away all the time, practically living somewhere else. But the kingdom will fall apart if there’s no one to help me raise her. I can’t balance the needs of a kingdom and a daughter by myself.”

  “I…I don’t know what to say.”

  “Say yes.”

  She bit her lip for a moment and then responded. It was more obedience of his command than a conscious reply.

  “Yes.”

  “Excellent. You start tomorrow. Pack your things tonight and I’
ll have a room prepared.” He walked away before she could say anything else, and Cassius stood with her mouth open for what seemed like several minutes before she let it sink in. She would actually be living in the palace on the king’s request. On the one hand she was excited, but on the other she was nervous. Up until that point, Augustus had ignored her—she wasn’t convinced he even knew her name before. She wasn’t acquainted with the servants and still didn’t know her way around the palace. It was going to be a big adjustment living here.

  I wonder what my mom would think about this. I wish I could see her again and talk with her. Would she be proud to have a daughter working in the palace?

  Her thoughts were interrupted by the realization that everyone was walking down the hall without her. If she didn’t follow, she’d be left behind, and she didn’t know how to navigate the halls on her own yet. She jogged up to them and then walked a few paces behind the small group. King Augustus was explaining his plan to Mrs. Snowshoe, and Snow White was excitedly listening in. Cassius noticed that Gwen was not around; she wondered if Augustus had already fired the girl.

  The king led them to the palace doors and called a carriage to take them home. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said to Cassius. Snow White ran up to give her a goodbye hug. Cassius hugged her back. The carriage came, and Cassius and Mrs. Snowshoe left for home.

  “I think this will be good for both of you,” Mrs. Snowshoe said. “You’re a far better choice than Gwen.”

  “Yeah,” she said, still feeling very much in shock. “Snow White really didn’t like that girl. She’ll be happy to have me there instead. We’ll have fun together.”

  “I wasn’t talking about Snow White,” she said. “I was talking about His Majesty. I saw the way you two looked at each other, Cassie.”

  Cassius gasped. “Mrs. Snowshoe!”

  “I may be old, but I’m not blind,” she said. She sighed. “I do miss Genevieve, but she’s gone now. That man needs a wife to look after him, and I’d rather see you take her place than any other lass from the kingdom.”

  “He asked me to nanny for Snow White—not to marry him.”