Vanity

by Sonya Writes

  Her body shook as she stirred the pot. Her mind couldn’t wrap around what she’d just seen. The mirrors spoke. Not just that, but they answered the question she asked. And their answer: was it really her beauty that had caused the queen to hate her? Was this all jealousy over her looks? No wonder Cassius had taken her gowns and made her cut her hair. But it didn’t make sense. Why would Cassius care if she was pretty? After all, Cassius herself was quite beautiful. It just didn’t make sense.

  Once the stew was taken care of, Snow White decided she would try again. She went to the mirrors and asked a second question, but their response disappointed: they could only answer one question each day.

  As Snow White ate, she wondered again who lived there and how they’d come across such mirrors. She wondered also about her father once more and the rhymes he used to tell. Did he have a mirror like that too? Was that why he practiced the rhymes?

  Snow White yawned as she ate her last bite. The owners of the cottage had not returned yet and she was too tired to wait up for them any longer. She covered the pot of stew and left it above the fire to stay warm. The fire was dying down and would likely be out soon, but the heat should last some time. Hopefully the stew would still be warm when the people who lived there returned.

  She stretched and continued her search for a bedroom. At last she found it and therein laid six little beds. Snow White pushed several together and lay down across them. As soon as she closed her eyes, she fell asleep.

  ~

  Two miles away, the seven dwarfs of Jeweled Fall were finishing their day’s work in the mines. They worked together day in and day out on their various projects and between the seven of them had a multitude of talents.

  Their names were One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, and Fin. They were given other names at birth, but their mother had such difficulty remembering all seven names that she quickly renamed them when the seventh was born. The first six were in fact two sets of triplets born only two years apart, and the seventh came a year after that.

  “Do you suppose it will be today?” One asked as they were walking home.

  “Who knows?” said Three. “The mirrors aren’t always accurate about the future. But, if not today, then soon.”

  “Oh I hope it is today,” Fin said. “I’m ready for a bit of excitement.”

  “Excitement?” asked Five. “You mean trouble. I’m not looking forward to it at all. We never should have given the royal family an enchanted mirror. It was the wrong thing to do.”

  “We were right and wrong about the gift,” said One. “It helped Cassius and Augustus both to rule the kingdom well, but it appears to have also poisoned Cassius’s heart.”

  “Nay, brother, but her heart was poisoned before she ever received the mirror,” said Three. “Forget not that we asked whether we should give them one before we did so, and our trusted mirror said yes.”

  “Let’s not bicker about whether or not it was the right thing to do,” said Six. “What’s done is done. The question now is how to best help Snow White with Her Majesty Queen Cassius without ruining the kingdom and without—”

  “I say we put an end to Cassius the way she did to Augustus,” interrupted Five.

  “Without killing anybody,” said Six. “So, any ideas? I think One is right. I think it will be today.”

  “Even with what the mirrors tell us, we still don’t have enough of the whole picture to know what to do. That’s why we must wait for Snow White before moving forward,” said Three.

  “A good reminder,” said One. “So again the question is: will it be today?”

  As they turned down the path they noticed a tiny trail of smoke in the air. “Our chimney!” said Fin, jumping up and down. “It’s lit. It is today. It is!”

  “Calm down,” said Six. “And remember, Snow White will be asleep when we arrive home, and there will be stew waiting for us in the kitchen. So let’s quietly eat and not disturb the poor girl in her slumber. There will be plenty of time for introductions after we eat. With what she’s been through these past weeks, she can use a good nap.”

  “Oh but it wouldn’t be right to eat the food without her,” said Fin.

  “Right, shmight,” said Five. “It wasn’t right of her to come into our house without permission, either.”

  ~

  Snow White woke to the sound of boisterous laughter from a multitude of voices. It took her a moment to remember where she was. The smell of stew filled the air and she knew someone had re-heated it. By the clanging of spoons against bowls she suspected they were eating it right then. Snow White stretched and wondered how best to introduce herself. She didn’t want to scare them by merely walking out into the kitchen unannounced. As she was having these thoughts there came a knock on the bedroom door. The door cracked open just a bit and in came a sweet-sounding voice.

  “Snow White,” she said. “Are you up, dear?”

  Snow White nodded and then said yes. “I’m up,” she said. “How do you know my name?”

  The door opened and in walked a tiny woman, no taller than Snow White’s waist. The little woman smiled and said, “I suspect you can figure that out.”

  Snow White thought for a moment and remembered. “The mirrors?” she asked.

  The little woman nodded. “Yes,” she said. “The mirrors told us you were coming, though we didn’t quite know when. Thank you for the lovely stew, by the way. It saved me the job of cooking tonight.” She held out her hand to Snow White. “My name is Two,” she said.

  “Two?” asked Snow White. “That’s a funny name.”

  Two chuckled. “As is yours. There are seven of us here: me and my six brothers. Their names are One, Three, Four, Five, Six and Fin.”

  “Fin?”

  “Yes, Fin. As in, my mother was all Fin-ished having children.”

  Snow White laughed. “I suppose they know I’m here also, then.”

  “That they do,” said Two. “But I thought it would be most appropriate if I was the one to wake you up. So, are you ready to join us?”

  “I think I am,” Snow White said. She followed Two out of the room and down to the kitchen.

  “She’s up,” Two announced as they stepped into the room. All six little men looked up and cheered.

  “It’s about time,” said Five.

  “We have a seat for you right here,” said Six.

  Snow White sat down in the large arm-chair. “Now,” she said, “Two told me all your names, but I’m going to need some help remembering which name applies to which person.”

  “Of course you will,” said Four. “That’s why I’ve made you this chart.” He handed her a slip of paper and she looked it over.

  “This is a list of foods,” she said.

  “That’s right,” grinned Four. “Everything you’ll need to know for helping Two in the kitchen. Six likes mushrooms but I don’t. Three and Fin love onions on top of everything and One always hogs the milk when we buy it.”

  “Oh give me that,” said Two. She folded the paper and looked up at Snow White. “You’ll know Four because if he’s opening his mouth, he’s making a joke. Fin is the ‘baby’ of the family and he has the standard ‘youngest child’ personality as you’ll come to know. Five tends to be the most serious about everything. One is the shortest. Six is the tallest, and Three here is the fattest. We’re all different in our own ways, as all you tall folk are different in your own ways.”

  “I’m sure I’ll come to know each of you individually with time,” Snow White said.

  “I’m sure,” said Five. “Now on to business. We must figure out what to do about Queen Cassius before she destroys herself and the kingdom.”

  “Destroys the kingdom? Is it really that bad?” Snow White asked.

  “Worse,” said Five. “We fear she may destroy the planet.”

  “Oh hogwash,” said Six. “Princess, it’s like this. Your step-mother Cassius is obsessed with beauty and spiraling into depression because of an inferiority complex. You see, she n
ever felt loved by her father, and ever since your father had an affair she’s really only been hanging onto life by a thread. It was only the mirror’s occasionally telling her she was beautiful that enabled her to keep going day after day. When you showed up and the mirror told her she’s not as beautiful as you are, well, she started to emotionally collapse. It’s been coming on for a while though. Not your fault, really.”

  “So what do we do?” Snow White asked.

  “That’s the big question, isn’t it? We hoped you might have an idea.”

  Snow White thought. “So, you’re telling me that hearing she was beautiful from the mirror was what kept her going all these years?”

  “That’s right,” said Two.

  “But the mirror is also a problem because now it’s telling her that I’m beautiful.”

  The seven dwarfs nodded.

  “So, is there a way to remove the mirror from her possession and have someone else to tell her she’s beautiful every time she needs to hear it? Perhaps we could hire a handsome man to flatter her?”

  “Oh, she’s given up on men, after your father,” said Two. “She doesn’t trust them at all. And besides, she knows the mirror answers honestly. I think she’d see through any flattery from someone else.”

  “I see,” said Snow White. “Is it possible then to make a different sort of mirror? One that would tell her what she wants to hear?”

  The dwarfs all looked to one another.

  “Impossible,” said Five.

  “Brilliant,” said Six.

  “Can we even do that?” said Three.

  They all huddled together and whispered. Snow White only caught snippets of the conversation.

  “Well, if we….”

  “Yeah, but then…”

  “What about if…”

  Mumble mumble mumble.

  The dwarfs all turned to look at Snow White.

  “We’ll give it a try,” said One.

  “This will be fun!” said Fin.

  “It’s not like we can possibly make things worse,” said Five.

  All seven dwarfs worked together to clean up their after-dinner mess. They made their plans for experimenting with the mirrors the next day and then went to bed.

  “We have a bed prepared for you in my room,” Two said to Snow White. She showed her the way. “See? We knew you’d be coming along eventually.” The bed was just the right size for Snow White.

  “Thank you,” she said. “So, you go to the mines with your brothers each day?”

  Two nodded. “They might like it better if I stayed home to keep house for them, but I have the best eye for finding the right kind of obsidian to go in the mirrors. It’s what gives them their magical properties. They need me to be out working with them, or it would take them twice as long. So we all work together to keep the place clean, and since there are seven of us we rotate each day as to who’ll cook breakfast and supper.” She grinned. “Today was my day, so you saved me a bit of work by cooking that stew.”

  “Anytime,” Snow White said. “I’m grateful to you all for your willingness to help me.”

  “Anytime,” said Two. She yawned. “Tomorrow we’ll see if we can fix up a mirror like you suggested. It will probably take a darker form of the obsidian, some added ruby powder, half as much sapphire, an extra pinch of fairy dust…” Her voice trailed off, and moments later Two was asleep.

  Snow White smiled and hugged her pillow. “My, what an adventure this has become,” she said.

  ~

  the vanity mirror

  Snow White volunteered to do the cooking the next day so they could all focus on the task ahead of them. The seven dwarfs spent all day in and out of their workshop.

  First thing in the morning they each consulted their personal mirror to get advice.

  “It used to take us a long time to craft each mirror,” explained Three. “But once we had seven built and were able to collectively ask seven questions each day, everything got a whole lot easier. We should be able to have this mirror done in a week.”

  “I’ll cook all week then,” Snow White said. “And do some of the cleaning, so you seven can focus on getting the mirror made exactly right.”

  Four laughed. “I told you that food list would be important.”

  “Very funny,” said Snow White.

  So it was that the seven dwarfs tinkered away in their workshop. Snow White tried to help in any way she could to give them more time for the important task of constructing the mirror.

  “I do have one question,” said Snow White one evening as they were settling down for bed. “With seven mirrors to ask for wisdom, why didn’t you ask them how to help Cassius and the Kingdom?”

  “But we did,” said One. “And the mirrors said that you were the answer.”

  “So we waited for you,” said Three. “We asked questions about how you would help and learned that you’d be coming here. The mirrors aren’t always accurate about the future though. We’ve patiently waited and put off asking our questions until evening to be sure you could ask your question on the day you arrived.”

  “The mirrors are helpful but a person still requires wisdom and insight to learn from their responses.”

  “That’s why it’s so confusing how well Cassius has done up until now,” chimed Five.

  “Oh hush,” said Two. “Queen Cassius is not all bad. There are just some things she can’t handle.”

  “Like being ugly,” muttered Four.

  Fin started laughing. Fin had a contagious sort of laugh that got Three and Four laughing along with him, as well as a short chuckle from Five.

  “Quiet down everyone. Quiet down,” said Six. “Now, by my calculation we should have the mirror ready by tomorrow night if we all work together. Supposing it actually works the way we want it to, how do we get it into the castle and convince Her Majesty to use it instead of the one she’s been using?”

  “We could break the one she has,” said Five. “She’ll likely write to us to ask for a replacement.”

  One gasped. “Destroy a magic mirror? After all the work that went into it? Mining the gems, molding the gold, melting down all the right properties together for the mirror itself? Preposterous. That particular mirror took us four weeks to prepare.”

  “Besides,” said Three. “She might not even remember who the mirror came from. That was years ago and she wasn’t particularly involved in receiving it. She didn’t get to truly ask her first question until after His Majesty died. By the time she came to appreciate it, its origin may have been forgotten entirely.”

  “Unlikely,” said Six. “No one forgets where their magic mirror came from.”

  “Fiddlesticks,” said Fin. “Ask one of our mirrors if Cassius remembers or not.”

  Everyone looked at Fin. Then they scrambled to the mirror room.

  Four asked the question.

  “Mirror mirror number Four, does Cassius recall how she got her mirror?”

  The face appeared. “Be assured, for Cassius surely does recall, the mirror she received from the dwarfs of Jeweled Fall.”

  Snow White and the dwarfs cheered for a moment.

  “That’s our plan, then,” said Six. “We’ll have to break her mirror somehow so she’ll ask for a replacement.”

  ~

  The next day, the mirror was complete. Five and Fin pulled it on a cart into their living room for Snow White to see. It was covered with a sheet. Once everyone was ready, Snow White lifted the sheet off the mirror.

  “It’s beautiful,” she said. She traced the golden vines with her finger.

  A face appeared. “You’re beautiful,” it said. Instead of the face looking wise and old, it looked handsome and young.

  Snow White jumped back in surprise. “I didn’t expect it to speak,” she said. “I didn’t even ask it a question!”

  “I am always available to converse with you, my dear,” the mirror said.

  “Put the cover back on or it won’t stop talking,” said Five. Snow
White did.

  “Goodbye, lovely woman,” the mirror said as she slipped the sheet over it.

  “I don’t understand,” Snow White said.

  “No question or rhyme required,” said Two. “The mirror will talk to whoever it’s facing. But if the queen does have a legitimate question, the mirror will answer. However, the mirror will never answer in a way that puts down the beauty or ego of the one who’s asking, and it won’t directly answer silly questions like ‘who’s the fairest of them all?’”

  “Remarkable,” said Snow White. “You’ve all done a magnificent job.”

  The seven dwarfs beamed.

  “Now it’s on to the palace,” said Five. “We need to break the one she has so she’ll ask for a replacement.”

  They talked amongst themselves and decided Fin would be best for the job, in part because he was most excited about doing it. While wearing an invisibility cloak, he would quietly slip into the palace, make his way to the queen’s bedroom, shatter the mirror, and then make a quick escape to the woods. Two and Five would go with him to the palace and wait for him in the woods to make sure everything went as planned. The rest of them would wait in the cottage for Two, Five and Fin to return.

  Waiting for their return was more difficult for Snow White than waiting for the mirror to be built. She knew Fin would be invisible, but she couldn’t help worrying that things wouldn’t turn out okay. What if Cassius happened to ask the mirror a question whose answer alerted her to their plan?

  But in the end, everything went as hoped. Two, Five and Fin returned without a scratch, and two days later they received a certified letter from the queen explaining the situation and that she would like a new mirror and was willing to pay just about any price for it.

  The mirror was already prepared and ready to go. Snow White stayed behind as the seven dwarfs went together to deliver the mirror to Her Majesty.

  ~

  Cassius approached the mirror and tore off the sheet. The dwarfs had told her to uncover it alone and so she waited until it was set up in her room and no one was watching.