by Curry, Edna
“Hello, Jass.” Her pulse racing with excitement and nervousness, she returned his kiss, giving him a one-armed hug. The spicy scent of his aftershave filled her nostrils, sending a shiver down her spine. What would LaRae say to him? “God, I missed you!”
He didn’t reply. To her surprise, he wore a casual outfit of brown slacks and a sweater. Since it was only five, she had expected him to be in his office clothes. As a computer programmer-analyst, she imagined that he wore a business suit to his office.
He took her carry-on bag from her, saying, “Come on, LaRae, let’s get out of this crowd.”
Sending him a tentative smile, she fell into step beside him as they joined the flow of people moving down the noisy corridor toward the main terminal area. Her eyes swept the shops on either side of them, alert for changes since she’d last visited here. Since LaRae often traveled, she’d know the airport well.
Jass noticed, and said curtly, “No shopping, LaRae!”
Irritation sharpened her voice. “I was just looking.”
He said nothing, but deftly steered her around a young woman pulling a loaded luggage cart who almost ran into them. His firm, warm grip on her arm sent a tremor sailing through her.
Conversation was difficult in the fast-moving crowd, but she tried anyway. “Why didn’t you bring Susie?” she asked, not bothering to hide her disappointment.
Jass turned to stare at her in surprise, then shrugged. “She wanted to come, but I assumed you’d want to go out for dinner somewhere, like we usually do.”
“Oh. Of course. If you’d like.” A couple of teenagers in a hurry bumped into them, cutting in ahead of them. Jass took her arm to steady her. Smiling a thank you, she asked, “Did you come here straight from the office?”
He glanced at her, a wry smile twisting his full lips. “I golf on Tuesday afternoons, remember?”
Damn. A goof, right off the bat. She flushed, and said, “I’m sorry, I forgot.”
“Did you? I thought perhaps your arrival had been planned to interrupt my game.” The bitter tone in his voice shocked her and she could think of nothing to say.
Her heart pounded painfully in her chest. How long would it be before they could hold a comfortable conversation? She felt as if she were on a Minnesota lake in winter, treading on thin ice that kept cracking ahead of her. Any minute now she would fall through into the icy, dark depths.
Silently, they rode the escalator down to the luggage claim area, and found the carousel for her flight. Bags were noisily bouncing down the conveyor belt and people were crowded around, checking bags for their own.
Spotting her brown leather case, she grabbed it awkwardly with her left hand.
“I’ll get it.” His hand covered hers, and a warm sensation surged through her at his touch. He lifted the heavy case out of the turntable with ease, turned and led the way through the automatic doors and across the street to the parking garage.
She followed, down the ramp and between the rows of parked cars, alert to his every move. Since she had no idea what kind of car he drove, or even what LaRae owned, she felt sure she would give herself away.
To cover her nervousness, she found herself chattering. “The doctor said my memory lapses are due to the shock of the accident. I should improve with time, he thinks.” Damn. Hadn’t she told him that once before?
Jass didn’t reply. He stopped at a silver Mercedes. Popping the trunk with his remote, he put her suitcase inside, reached for her carry-on case and put it in the trunk as well. Then he unlocked the doors with his remote, opened the passenger door, and reached out to take her arm to help her inside. Instead, she turned her back to the seat, sat down, then lifted both feet together and turned, neatly swinging both feet inside.
“Thank you,” she said automatically, smiling at him as he closed the door. She settled back into the soft, red plush seat with a sigh of pleasure. Ah, luxury! She buckled her seatbelt and waited for him to get in beside her.
When he got in, he looked at her strangely as he got behind the wheel. “So, you did learn something from the accident.”
She felt like she was treading on eggshells. Whatever did he mean? “Pardon?”
He grinned wryly, and started the motor. “You’re wearing your seatbelt. I’ve never seen you buckle it before.”
“Oh.” What could she say? The reminder of the accident sent a cold chill down her spine. If LaRae had buckled up, would she be alive today? Laurie pushed away the pain. She smiled and shrugged, saying brightly, “After the accident, I decided to turn over a new leaf.”
“Sounds great to me. Will it last one day or two?”
His cynicism jolted her. The relationship between LaRae and Jass must be in worse shape than she had thought. Her earlier assumption that she could just step into the loving wife and mother role was obviously wrong. “You don’t give me much credit, do you?”
“Should I?” His laugh had a harsh ring to it.
Her throat filled with pain at the unexpected criticism, and she could think of nothing to reply.
When she didn’t answer, he glanced at her as he stopped at the stop sign before pulling out onto the highway. Sighing, he asked, “Where would you like to eat?”
She shrugged. “Wherever you’d like. Surprise me.” She shut her eyes and leaned back, rubbing her temple. Tension was building into pain behind her eyes, which she knew from experience would shortly become a severe headache.
When he parked half an hour later, she opened her eyes and saw they were at a seafood restaurant near Maplewood Mall in the northern suburb. She had often come here when she and LaRae had gone shopping at the mall years before. Before she’d left for California. Before she’d even met the hunk beside her. Before LaRae had married him, while she stood in her beautiful blue lace maid-of-honor dress, watching her sister’s happiness and wondering if she’d ever find her own Mr. Right.
Now Jass sat beside her, believing she was his wife. She couldn’t believe it. Believe it. You’d better believe it or you’re going to blow it. Stop thinking like Laurie. You’re LaRae!
“Ready?” He was looking at her, expecting her to react.
“Sure.” She unbuckled her seat belt, opened her door and swung both legs out, then gracefully stepped out and closed the door. Tossing him a smile, she walked with him toward the restaurant.
He took her arm. “So, who taught you the neat way of getting in and out of a car? Hospital therapy?”
Neat way of getting in and out of a car? What did he mean? She tried to think of what she’d done differently than usual, then realized he meant her modeling training, which LaRae didn’t have. Yikes! There was no way to change that. Those graceful movements had become second nature to her over the last few years. She stammered, “Ah, no. Laurie showed me a couple of modeling tricks.” Would that cover any other differences in her movements that he noticed? She hoped so.
“Oh.”
“Um, you go ahead, I need to visit the powder room,” she said as a hostess came to seat them.
“Sure.”
When she joined him a few minutes later, he said, “I ordered your usual. I hope that’s okay?”
“Sure.” What was her usual? The butterflies were back. If only she’d kept in touch with LaRae and Jass better, and come to visit them oftener. If only she hadn’t been so envious, she might know more details of LaRae’s life and might have had a better chance of pulling this off.
Just then the waitress brought their food, cutting off any further comment. She set a seafood salad in front of Laurie, and French-fried shrimp and potatoes in front of Jass.
Laurie stared at her salad in disbelief, wondering if she dared refuse it. Several large shrimp were on top of the lettuce, and she knew if she ate them, she’d break out in a very obvious and itchy rash within the hour.
Yikes! Why did LaRae’s usual order have to be one of the things she was allergic to? Why couldn’t LaRae have liked something safe, like T-bone steak?
Chapter 4
; Laurie toyed with her salad, eating the lettuce and cucumber, while keeping up a running chatter. She asked about Susie’s progress in kindergarten. Jass seemed a bit surprised, but answered readily enough.
She ate the tomato wedges and buttered her roll, then sipped her coffee, watching Jass eat hungrily. She found it awkward, eating with her left hand, and said so, adding, “I feel so useless this way. I’m afraid I won’t be able to do much around the house, either, at least until I get rid of this cast.”
“Agnes takes care of the housework just fine by herself,” he said, his mouth twisting in a wry smile.
“Of course.” Laurie looked away and ate her roll. So, they had a housekeeper, too. What was this Agnes like? LaRae hadn’t mentioned her. Was the housekeeper a new addition, or had they had her a long time? The more she learned, the more she realized that she didn’t know. Panic slid through her as she realized there were going to be so many ways to screw up. Whatever had made her think that she could pull this off?
And he sounded as though he couldn’t care less whether she were able to manage their household. She felt definitely unneeded.
Jass spoke, causing her to jump. “Aren’t you going to finish your salad?”
She brought her attention back to him and flashed him an apologetic smile. “I guess I’m not really hungry. I should have told you that I ate on the plane.” She dropped her napkin on her plate in an attempt to hide the uneaten shrimp and drank more coffee.
“I thought you hated airplane food. You always say you only eat the peanuts!”
Yikes. Another goof. She shrugged. “I was hungry, so I tried it. Wasn’t too bad.” In an attempt to change the subject she asked, “What did you do at work today?”
Jass stared at her a moment in surprise, but answered readily enough.
“The bank I’m setting up a new system for this month is just starting to do on-line banking. Their old system didn’t have that capability,” he explained. “So, as well as setting it up and making sure it’s working properly, I’m having to teach the employees how to use it. I’ll probably be there a couple more weeks, if all goes well.”
“I see. I remember hearing about paying bills on-line. It sounds interesting, but is it really all that secure?”
“You remember hearing about that? Where?”
She shrugged, and ate a bite of lettuce. “I don’t know. Maybe from you?”
“No way. You never wanted to hear about my work.”
“Maybe I heard you talking about it to someone else, then. Or just read about it.” She smiled encouragingly, hoping he’d just keep talking about it on his own. He hadn’t answered her question about the security of on-line banking, after all, just side-stepped it. But he’d evidently tired of the subject, and turned his attention to his dinner.
When he didn’t answer, she tried another subject. “Will taking more time off work to go back to California create problems for you? Or shall I wait until my arm heals and I can do it on my own?”
“No problem. I’ll go with you. I’ve already told them I’d be doing that. My assistant can finish the rest of the training.”
“That’s good.” She remembered that she’d have to try to do something about her hair and nails before the funeral tomorrow. She couldn’t do them herself with her arm in a cast. “What time is the funeral? Will there be time for me to get a shampoo in the morning?”
“I’m sure your regular salon in Canton will be happy to oblige,” he said.
She resented his dry comment. He ought to be able to understand that she was self-conscious about her appearance. She awkwardly pulled at the blue canvas sling, trying to make it more comfortable. Jass smiled at her and reached over to help her adjust it.
She glanced at her watch. “Gee, it’s already after seven. Are you ready to go? I’d like to get home before Susie’s asleep. I’ve missed her.” Surely that was a safe thing for a mother to say. But darn him, Jass raised an eyebrow again. She was beginning to hate that gesture.
He nodded, finished his coffee and signaled the waitress for their check.
They said little during the hour’s ride home. The tension that filled the air between them seemed thick enough to slice. She felt intensely aware of him beside her. Her gaze kept straying to his strong, tanned fingers on the steering wheel, guiding the luxury car so casually and effortlessly. Her eyes took note of the curly dark hair that covered his wrists below the sleeves of his shirt and sweater, and she longed to run her fingertips over it, just to see if it was as soft as it looked. Would he ever love her as he’d loved LaRae, she wondered. Would he really someday belong to her?
The thought that she was going to her sister’s house, to sleep in her bed, to use the things her sister would never use again brought tears to her eyes. She tried to hide them, to swallow them back, but didn’t succeed.
Jass looked at her and frowned, but said nothing when she dug a tissue from her purse and blew her nose. Then he smiled and reached over to squeeze her knee comfortingly, seeming to be embarrassed at her grief.
Pushing her long hair back, she drew a deep breath and looked out the window at the passing landscape. The freeway skirted the small towns, so she could see little but farmland interspersed with forests of evergreens. The sun was setting in the west, leaving a variety of red and gold streaks above the horizon. She checked the time again, surprised it was still daylight. Then she remembered that this far north, the days were very long this late in spring. Back home it would have been dark already.
She tried to concentrate on the highway numbers of the route he was taking, in case she was expected to take it in reverse to drive into town. As soon as she got the chance, she’d go online and find a current detailed map of Minnesota so she could get her bearings around her new home. Her memories of Canton were hazy at best, since her childhood home had been at least twenty miles from Canton where Jass lived.
“Tired?” Jass asked, glancing at her sympathetically.
“Yes, a little. I’m getting a headache.” She smiled wryly at him.
He reached over and rubbed the back of her neck to ease the tension. “We’re almost there. You’ll feel better after a good night’s sleep.”
Surprise at his sudden show of warmth sent a shiver of awareness sliding down her insides. But the idea of sleeping with him was not relaxing, it was scary. The butterflies were back, fluttering about in her midriff. Would he want to make up for lost time with an immediate round of lovemaking? Until now, he certainly hadn’t been acting as though he were about to make love. In fact, he seemed almost cold to her. Had he and LaRae quarreled before she came to California? Was she supposed to be apologizing for something?
He turned off the interstate highway and followed a narrow blacktopped road for several miles. Then he turned again onto a road which wound around a good-sized lake surrounded by houses and evergreens. At a large, split-level house, he slowed and turned into the blacktopped driveway, stopping in front of the double doors of the attached garage. Pulling down his visor, he pressed a button on a device clipped to it and one of the garage doors rolled up.
She drew in a breath, and stared at the house for a long moment. It was beautiful! The lower half was red brick. The upper-level, of wood siding painted a contrasting soft shade of yellow, stretched over the garage. The roof matched the brick and there were wide windows on the front on both levels and above the garage.
In the twilight the house was partly hidden in shadows. It looked a bit forlorn in this in-between season. The snows of winter had melted, and the grass was green but had not yet grown enough to mow. Leaves were just starting to bud on the maple trees near the house. Black dirt between the sidewalk and the house promised flowers soon to come up. She loved this house and yard already, and imagined it when the warmer weather would bring every plant to its full potential. She dared not ask what kind of flowers had been planted there, but her fingers itched to get into the dirt and tend them. As soon as this cast was off, she would!
Jass turne
d off the motor and got out, going around the back of the car for her luggage.
The side door of the house burst open. A little girl with flowing blonde hair came running down the sidewalk, arms spread wide, screaming, “Mommy! Mommy!” A little black dog with white spots bounded after her, wagging its tail and barking a welcome.
Laurie opened her car door, jumped out and ran to meet Susie, stooping and catching her in one arm and clutching the precious child to her in a big hug. She breathed in the deliciously homey scents of ginger snap cookies and soap. The dog yipped around them, sniffing at Laurie.
“I missed you, Mommy!”
“I missed you, too, darling!” She kissed her, then pulled back and looked at Susie long and lovingly. She smoothed back her blonde hair with gentle fingers, memorizing the face she hadn’t seen for over a year. With wide blue eyes, Susie looked trustingly back at her. Her cheeks were rosy, and round with baby fat. So chubby and cute. God, let her accept me. Let me be able to take care of her. I don’t want her hurt.
“Did your arm get hurt, Mommy?” Susie, wide-eyed, touched Laurie’s cast with small fingers.
“Yes, Honey. My arm is broken. But it’ll be okay again soon.”
“Does it hurt?”
“Not much now.” Laurie smiled and shook her head, reaching out a hand to let the barking dog sniff it in an effort to shut him up. She tried to pat its head, but it backed away and barked furiously at her.
“Down, Trixie,” Jass scolded coming up behind her. “What’s the matter with you?”
The dog whined in submission and retreated a couple of steps.
“Daddy wouldn’t let me come with him, to get you off the airplane, Mommy.” Susie pursed her soft lips into a pout, sending Jass an accusing stare.
A young, pretty woman with dark auburn hair appeared at the side door and came towards them. “I’m sorry Susie’s still up, Mrs. Markham. She’s so excited, she wouldn’t go to bed.” The woman’s voice was nervous and apologetic.