“Tell me everything.”
Pepper related all of the events since they last spoke.
“Where is he now?” Vivienne asked when Pepper finally stopped talking.
“On his way to the office. I tried to talk him into staying home an extra day or so, just to rest and get back on LA time, but he totally refused. Wouldn’t hear of it.”
Vivienne clucked her tongue, but said nothing.
“I badgered him all morning to see a doctor, but he just ignored me. He’d give me that little smirk. Or, he’d answer back with some smartass comment of his own. I honestly don’t know what the hell to do.” Pepper listened as Vivienne cooed to Jane in the background and waited for advice.
“I think you’ll probably have to charm him into it, then. Typical Pepper pushiness isn’t going to work this time,” Vivienne finally said. “You will catch your fly with honey, not vinegar.”
“Thanks, you make me sound like a freakin’ spider.” Pepper chuckled in spite of herself.
“Well? If the web fits. Seriously, give him today to think about everything. Tonight, go out to a nice dinner, or bring something he really loves in, and try to sweet talk him into making an appointment.”
Pepper pursed her lips, thinking it over. “It’s worth a shot, I guess.”
She managed to get through the rest of the day with only a half a dozen texts to Gabe directly, two dozen back and forth with Aiden, and taking care of a few things that Lisa insisted were important. Pepper tried to think of a way to beguile Gabe into making an appointment with the doctor, but she just didn’t think she could do it. If pushing him won’t work, I think I’ll just have to be sneaky.
At about four o’clock, she texted Aiden one more time.
Is he still there?
Yes, leaving at 5:30.
Cool. Text if he leaves sooner.
Pepper called Thai Boom from the car and placed a carryout for all of Gabe’s favorites to bring home. After picking up the food, she raced home to spread it out on the table so that dinner would be ready for him the minute he walked in the door. While she waited for him to get home, Pepper showered, changed into some yoga pants and a tank, and then busied herself with feeding and playing with the kittens.
When Gabe arrived, he found her sitting cross legged on the floor, waving a feathered toy on a stick around for the boys to pounce on. She smiled up at him and accepted his welcoming kiss.
“You’re a vision, sitting on the floor with our fur children.”
Pepper huffed and hoisted herself up. “Thanks, I think. Are you hungry? I got dinner.”
Gabe dropped his briefcase and turned to look at the dining room table across the room. Pepper was surprised he hadn’t already noticed all the food laid out on the table.
“Not particularly, but, of course, let’s eat.”
Pepper had had plenty of time to think about a plan of attack to convince Gabe to see a doctor. Unfortunately, she couldn’t come up with anything that would have seemed reasonable enough. If her usual over the top, pushy personality wasn’t going to be able to get him in front of an MD, then he would know immediately if she tried to sweet talk him. Instead, she figured she was going to have to trap him into it. Earlier in the day, she had made an appointment with her general practitioner for Gabe.
“Babe, I made an appointment for us to go and get massages on Friday.”
Gabe eyed her as he played with a fork full of noodles but didn’t eat it. “I suppose we could do that. Why Friday?”
She lifted her own shoulders in response. “Fridays are usually pretty quiet for me, and I checked with Aiden first. He said you didn’t have anything on your schedule yet. Seems like a nice way to start off the weekend. The appointment is at three o’clock.”
“Okay.”
* * * * *
The rest of the week passed in a rush, with Pepper’s nerves becoming more and more frayed as the clandestine appointment with the doctor approached. Gabe’s appetite was definitely off and it was like mud wrestling a pig to get him to eat an entire meal. He complained about his back aching, too. He took ibuprofen from time to time to ease the pain, and looked forward to the massage he assumed he was getting to fix him up.
Friday morning, as they both walked to their cars to leave for work, Pepper placed a nervous kiss on his cheek. “I’ll meet you back here at two, so we can change. Okay?”
“I’ll see you then, love.”
Pepper could barely keep her mind on work the entire morning and found herself snapping at her assistant over the stupidest things. The straw that broke the camel’s back came when she barked about an insignificant detail she’d already asked about a dozen times.
“What the hell, Pepper?” Lisa snapped back, slapping her notepad closed as she sat across the desk from her boss.
Pepper’s eyes narrowed at Lisa’s tone, but she slumped in her chair remorsefully. She put her hands up in front of her. “I’m so sorry, hun. Really. I just have a lot on my mind.”
Lisa pursed her lips, but leaned back in the chair and relaxed. “It’s okay. I’m just not used to you giving me so much grief. Is there anything wrong?”
Pepper smiled at her, wishing she could unload all of her worries, but didn’t think it would be right to burden the girl with her private crap. It was just another way she was trying to learn how to have boundaries. Baby steps, Pepper.
“No, Lisa, I’m fine. Why don’t you take the rest of the afternoon off, too? We’ve got everything pretty much under control.”
Lisa looked skeptical, but Pepper knew she wouldn’t turn down a few extra hours off. “All right. I need another half hour to finish my phone calls and send out some emails. Then we’ll head out together.” Lisa stood up and walked to the door of Pepper’s office. “I hope that massage does you some good.” She winked and then left to go back to her own desk.
Pepper normally would have chuckled at her assistant’s joke, but all she could think about was how she was going to explain to Gabe when they went to the doctor instead of the masseuse.
* * * * *
Gabe had his nose buried in his phone while Pepper drove to the building where her doctor’s office was located. It wasn’t until she parked the car that Gabe looked up and around.
“Where are we? I thought we were going for massages?”
Pepper had fully intended on walking him straight into the office before telling him the truth, believing he would have been too much of a gentleman to cause a scene in front of strangers. But now that she had him this close, she felt guilty and ashamed at having perpetrated such a scam.
“I have to tell you the truth.” She turned in her seat so she could face him, hoping she didn’t look as nervous and guilty as she felt. Keeping a calm and pleasant face might convince him that she had only acted in his best interests.
“What is it?” Gabe’s expression was filled with worry. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Pepper assured him. “But I didn’t exactly tell you the truth about where we were going today.”
Gabe’s eyes narrowed and he frowned. “What’s going on, Pepper?”
Pepper’s mouth dried up like when the dentist uses the suction on your cheek to sop up the drool. She swallowed hard and the click in her barren throat was audible in the too quiet car. “We don’t really have appointments for massages. I actually brought you to my doctor’s office.”
She snapped her eyes shut, waiting for the explosion she was sure would happen. When it didn’t, she cracked one eye open. Gabe had his own eyes closed, but his fists were clenched in his lap. Oh crap. That was way worse than a volcanic reaction.
“Dammit, Pepper,” he finally managed, his tone frigid. “I told you I am fine.”
Pepper’s gut wrenched and her heart flip flopped with anxiety, making her feel sweaty and nervous. “I know but–”
“But nothing!” Gabe finally shouted. “I’m a grown man. An adult. I think I know when I need to see a doctor and when I don’t!”
&
nbsp; Tears sprung to Pepper’s eyes and she tried to keep the sniff quiet. In all their time together, Gabe had never once raised his voice to her, no matter what asinine stunt she had pulled or stupid thing she had said. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I was only trying to–”
With a remorseful sigh, Gabe unbuckled his seatbelt and leaned toward her. “I know what you were trying to do.”
There’s my Gabe. His voice was back to being soft and pleasant, and Pepper wrapped her arms around his neck.
“I’m sorry, darling. I shouldn’t have shouted. But what you’ve done makes me feel more like your child than your partner.”
Pepper hadn’t been able to look at him until then. “I’m sorry, Gabe. I just worry, okay?”
“I understand.”
She scowled and felt the “old” Pepper feistiness making an appearance. “I don’t think you do, Gabe. You collapsed in our shower and wouldn’t do anything about it. Then you passed out in Japan and don’t let anyone there do anything about it. You haven’t given me one good reason for not being scared yourself and running straight to the doctor.”
Sighing, Gabe sat back in the seat and removed his sunglasses. “I hate them.”
Pepper stared at him, dumbfounded. “You hate doctors.”
“Yes. I detest them. I loathe them.”
Pepper didn’t know whether to laugh or scream or cry. She certainly knew there were people out there who would ignore any sign of medical distress, not caring if they died in the process, but she never in a million years would have imagined that Gabe would be one of them. She reached for his hands and tangled her fingers with his.
“Well, if that’s–” Pepper stopped. Get a grip, girl. She took a deep breath and started over. “I’m sorry you hate doctors, babe. Tell me why.” Gabe’s head tilted to the side as he considered her. Pepper waited patiently, her hands still in his. She squeezed his fingers and nodded. “What happened that made you hate doctors so much?”
Gabe lowered his chin until it almost rested on his chest. He didn’t say anything for a long while, but Pepper was determined to wait him out if she was going to get what she wanted.
“I spent entirely too much time with physicians when I was younger. I caught every virus and bug that came down the wire. My parents were sickly people. The smell, the sounds, it’s all very displeasing to me,” Gabe said finally. “I have never known any good news to come from a doctor visit.”
Pepper controlled her urge to growl with a strength she didn’t know she had. It didn’t matter that she thought his reasoning was silly. He was the one with the issue and he would have to overcome it. But he wasn’t going to do it unless she was kind and supportive. “I don’t know if that’s totally true. Viv got good news when she got her pregnancy test results back, right?”
Gabe smiled a little and she could see some of the tension in his shoulders relax the tiniest bit.
“What happens if you don’t go to the doctor and then something else happens that’s worse than just passing out?” Pepper pleaded with him with her eyes and her words. “Wouldn’t you rather have a doctor give you bad news with hope to fix the problem?”
Sighing, Gabe nodded. “I see your point.”
Pepper reached to put her hand on his face. “Besides, it’s probably nothing, just like you’ve been saying. Maybe you’re diabetic. Maybe it’s a vitamin deficiency. It could be any number of stupid little things that could be taken care of with a change in diet or a single pill every day. Won’t you please go in and keep the appointment I made?”
Gabe leaned into her palm and closed his eyes. “All right,” he said after a very long while. “But don’t you ever lie to me again, Pepper.”
Crossing her heart, Pepper nodded. “I won’t. I swear.”
* * * * *
Waiting for the results of Gabe’s tests results proved to be more harrowing than Pepper anticipated. After getting a complete physical from Dr. Harper, the good news was that, upon first glance, Gabe looked to be a normal, healthy man in his fifties. But Dr. Harper said he looked jaundiced and wanted him to have his liver checked. She wrote prescriptions for extensive blood work to be done as well as an MRI. When Gabe questioned it, the doctor had smiled calmly and said it was for the back pain he was presenting with. If there was a blockage, an MRI would discover it. She didn’t give any indication that she thought anything serious was wrong. Pepper and Gabe had left feeling somewhat relieved, but still without any real answers as to why he was passing out.
Sitting at the office, reviewing emails, and talking to donors on the phone was the last thing Pepper wanted to be doing. She wished she could be camped out on the doorstep of the lab where Gabe had given his blood sample, but she knew that wouldn’t make the results come any faster. They had said they would be sent to the doctor within a week, and then Dr. Harper would call.
“Lisa!” Pepper hollered.
After a moment or two, her assistant popped her head inside the office door. “You do have an intercom, you know.”
Pepper stuck her tongue out at the girl. “Can you call my cell phone? I think it’s not working.”
Sighing, Lisa strode to her boss’s desk. “Uh, couldn’t you have done that yourself?” She lifted the receiver of the phone on Pepper’s desk and dialed the cell number by heart. When it rang, she gave her boss a rather superior look. “It’s fine. What are you waiting for, anyway?”
“Nothing, never mind. What time is Vivienne supposed to be here?”
“Two o’clock.”
“All right. Do me a favor and get me that attendance list for the family picnic next month.”
Lisa shook her head and sighed. “Okay, but you’ve been over it four thousand times. It’s not going to change.”
“Just bring it, smarty pants.” Pepper chuckled. “Gotta keep busy,” she muttered to herself. She rearranged a stack of papers and sifted through a pile of messages. After Lisa dropped the folder on her desk and disappeared, Pepper opened it to scan the names but she couldn’t concentrate. Instead, she stared at her phone, willing it to ring. Ring, you bastard. RING! She just about wet herself when the damn thing did.
Dropping the paper in her hand like it was on fire, she scrambled to answer the phone.
“Yes!” she yelled.
“What’s all the shouting?”
An amused Gabe came across the line and she relaxed instantly. “Well? Are the results in?”
“Yes, love. Dr. Harper just called me. She asked me to come in for another appointment to discuss them.”
Pepper’s hands immediately began to tremble and she almost dropped the phone. “Oh my God,” she whispered. “What does that mean? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, darling.” Gabe’s voice was confident and smooth. “At least, I think it’s nothing. The doctor didn’t sound concerned. She said she wanted to be able to explain the jaundice. Please, don’t worry about it.”
Pepper couldn’t help but worry. Why couldn’t she just tell him over the phone? “When? What time?”
“She said she had an opening at 4:45 today. Can you get away?”
“Yes.” Pepper glanced at her watch. “I’ll meet you there.”
Chapter 13
Pepper turned on the water to the shower and made the temperature as hot as she could stand it. As the icy drops turned to hot daggers, she heaved with sobs, praying that Gabe would not hear her.
Cancer. The word reverberated through her head, bouncing around her brain like a superball flung by a child. Cancer.
Dr. Harper hadn’t bothered with the blood work, going straight for the results of the MRI. Pepper had stared at the blob, not hearing anything after the dreaded “c-word” was dropped like a bomb. Gabe had recovered quickly, asking lots of questions, none of which Pepper heard. The buzzing in her ears had gotten so loud, she’d had to fight the urge to press her palms against her head.
Gabe had rambled the whole drive home. White noise was all Pepper heard as words poured out of his mouth. It was lik
e her brain had stopped functioning and her body was on autopilot, keeping her breathing and conscious, getting her inside the house and up the stairs to the bedroom.
The harder she cried, the less strength her legs seemed to have and she slumped down, kneeling on the floor of the shower, watching the water circle down the drain, just like all of the plans and dreams she had for her future with Gabe.
Chapter 14
Pepper clung to Vivienne tightly while she trembled and cried. The strength of her best friend’s arms around her did nothing to warm the icy fear that had settled in her heart since Gabe’s diagnosis only a couple of hours earlier. When she got out of the shower, he was gone, leaving only a note on the bed saying he was going for a drive. Finding herself alone in the house threw Pepper into a panic and she rushed to the only other people who loved her like Gabe did.
“I’m so sorry, Pep,” Vivienne whispered.
Pepper wanted to talk, but after blurting, “Gabe has cancer” she hadn’t been able to manage a sound beyond that of her sobbing. She knew Viv was waiting for her to say something, anything, but she couldn’t find words. Never in her life had Pepper ever felt so lost. No matter what tragedy or drama came at her, she’d never backed down or shied away. But this was something she couldn’t seem to get a handle on.
“Vivvy, I… I can’t… I don’t…” Pepper gulped, unable to go on.
“It’s okay. Don’t talk. Not yet.”
Will stood in the doorway to the kitchen of their house, little Jane in his arms. The stark pity on his face only made her cry harder. She closed her eyes so she didn’t have to see him. Viv stroked her head and rocked her gently. Eventually, the well began to run dry. Pepper gritted her teeth and forced herself to take a deep, shuddery breath. Then another one. Soon, she had her breath back, even if the tears continued to leak from her eyes. Get it together, Pepper.
“What are we going to do?” she wheezed. “I don’t know what to do.”
The Widow and the Orphan Page 7