The Widow and the Orphan
Page 30
Did she really want to spend the rest of her life hoping she could raise a kid alone all while trying to explain how great its dad was? Could she ever make that clear enough? Would she truly give a baby every single thing it needed emotionally and mentally while all Pepper could be thinking of was what she wasn’t giving it?
The answer was there and she couldn’t avoid it. It wasn’t fair for her to have this baby. Her shortcomings were far too plentiful and it would end up doing more damage than good to have it. For all the reasons to honor Gabe and keep as much of him alive as possible through another child, there were just as many reasons to not have the baby. Pepper thought maybe, just maybe, she wasn’t being selfish after all. Having an abortion would prevent bringing a baby into the world who would never have a father and suffer at her inept hands for the rest of its life.
Tears were streaming down her cheeks, but Pepper hardly noticed them. Even though her eyes were wide open, she was back at the Stafford Inn on her wedding day, saying her vows to Gabe. Then she was back at the restaurant the night Gabe proposed. Then she zoomed even farther back to the night they met. All of the memories were pouring into her brain and flooding it with love and happiness, in spite of the fact that he was no longer there to share them with her. It was Gavin’s voice that startled her back to reality.
“Pepper?”
Turning to look, she saw him standing in the doorway to the patio. His dinosaur pajamas were buttoned wrong, and one leg was scrunched up at the knee. His hair was sticking up in a bunch of different places and he yawned while trying to wipe the sleep from his eyes.
“Yeah, kid. I’m here.” She hastily brushed her face dry before turning to face him full on.
“Whatcha doin’?” he asked as he came over to sit beside her.
“Just thinking. What are you doing up so early?”
He shrugged and leaned his head on the back of the couch. “I don’t know. Finished sleeping, I guess.”
Pepper smiled at him and then leaned over to ruffle his hair, trying to mash down one of the many cowlicks. He’s enough, she thought. I don’t need anything else. This is Gabe’s contribution. Feeling confident that she’d finally reached her decision and was at peace with it, Pepper sighed and finished the rest of her coffee, which had grown cold with time. She was about to ask him what he wanted for breakfast, but he interrupted her with a small, innocent smile.
“Pepper?”
“Yeah?”
He leaned toward her and she put an arm around his shoulders. “I’m glad you’re having a baby. I always wanted a little brother or sister.”
Her heart and breath caught in her throat. Sniffling, she wiped her nose on the sleeve of her robe. “Oh yeah?”
“Yeah, I think maybe I should call you Mom, too. I don’t want the baby to get confused.”
Pepper tried to keep her voice from trembling, but could do nothing about the fresh tears streaking her cheeks. “All right, kiddo. Whatever you think is best.”
Just like that, Pepper’s mind was changed and her heart burst into a million little pieces.
Epilogue
“Come on!”
Gavin stood at the front door with his backpack on. He was shifting from one foot to the other and then bouncing on his toes.
“All right, all right. I’m workin’ on it!”
Pepper came out of the bedroom and down the hallway, one hand pressed to the small of her back. She was only six months along but, so far, pregnancy hadn’t really been all that kind to her. Between the heartburn, the hemorrhoids, and back pain, she felt like she was a mess. No one would ever know it by the look on her face. She was the epitome of every pregnancy cliché. Glowing face, thicker hair, and maternity clothes looked cute and stylish on her burgeoning frame.
Pepper grabbed her keys and followed Gavin out the front door. He ran to the SUV and hopped in, while she followed close behind.
“Hurry up!”
Pepper laughed. “Look, sport, I’ll get you there as fast as I safely can. Cool your jets.”
Gavin grinned and buckled in. He couldn’t stop bouncing up and down in the seat and it made her heart glad. She’d never seen a kid so excited for the first day of school before, except maybe Vivienne. Pepper had not been a fan of school herself, but was certainly glad to see that Gavin was the opposite.
“Did you grab your lunch?”
“Yep.”
“And you have all your first day stuff?”
“Yep.”
“All right. Then let’s be off.”
Pepper put the car in gear and drove the couple blocks to the school. The parking lot was a nightmare of every other parent wanting to drive their kid on the first day, too, but at least most people were exercising patience and being polite. That probably won’t last. She chuckled to herself.
Once she found a spot, Pepper put the car in park and sat back. Gavin immediately unbuckled and started to grab the door handle, but she put a hand on his chest to stop him. “Hold up, kid. I want to walk up with you, just this once. Okay?”
Gavin looked at her with that “duh” expression she had learned to recognize. “Of course! Come on!”
He jumped out and surprised her by running around to her side of the car. He opened the door for her and took her hand while she slid out. “Well thanks, you’re quite the gentleman.”
“You’re welcome!”
Keeping her hand in his, he didn’t seem embarrassed to be holding hands as they strode up to the walkway of the school. He pressed against her side for a minute and was about to rush off, but once again, Pepper halted him. “That’s no hug!”
Gavin grinned and threw his arms around her neck as she leaned down.
“Sorry,” he said into her neck.
Pulling away, Pepper looked into his eyes. “You have a really good day, okay? I’ll be back for you at three o’clock.”
“You bet!”
With that, he ran off toward the front door. Before he got more than a few feet away, he stopped and turned back. “Bye, Mom!”
The lump in Pepper’s throat was about the size of a hockey puck and she couldn’t swallow it down. Pressing her fingers to her lips, she threw him a kiss before he sprinted for a couple of the friends he’d made in the neighborhood. She folded her arms beneath her ever growing breasts and sighed with a happiness she hadn’t known she was capable of.
“They grow up so fast, don’t they?”
A petite, light brown haired woman stepped up beside her. She was smiling and watching a little girl amble along, carrying her Barbie lunch box and Hello Kitty backpack. “Which one’s yours? That’s my daughter.”
Pepper nodded and pointed. “That’s him. That’s my son.”
THE END
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About the Author
J. Thomas-Like is a writer born and raised in St. Clair Shores, Michigan. She lives with her darling husband, brilliant son, a passel of cats, and a dog. This is her third novel. She started writing at a very young age, and is finally making her dreams come true, one story at a time.
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Cover art by James, GoOnWrite.com
Author Photo by Chasing Light Photography
and the Orphan