Fight or Fall

by Anne Leigh

  Slowly he pulled out of me, and while gaining his breath, smothered my mouth with his heated kisses. This was one thing that I had to get used to, Milo’s energy was inexhaustible. One would think that after how many rounds last night and after paddle boarding and swimming in the ocean with Leif this morning, he would give me reprieve.

  I should have known that my neon coral bandeau top and bikini with sexy ruching at the back would cause his temperature to spike up. This was one of my more conservative bikinis. It was cute, flirty, not too over-the top, and now the sides were probably torn because he roughly pulled them down my legs so I could wrap my legs around his waist. I love my man, and if I was any other girl, I’d probably complain about how unquenchable his thirst was for me. Of course I would not, I could not, because I felt the same for him.

  When he was running earlier with Leif, I literally choked on my margarita and the tiny umbrella on top of the glass almost poked out my eye because every time his packed muscles, broad shoulders, and rippling abs came into view, which was often because he ran around in board shorts most of the time, my estrogen levels escalated and I often had to wipe myself because I start sweating with desire for him.

  I had to ask my doctor for the strongest birth control method, to which he’d given me pills, because if we weren’t careful, little mini-me and Milo’s would be running around pretty soon. I had communicated this to Milo and he just gave me a sneaky grin and said, “It wouldn’t be so bad.”

  No way.

  I am not having his baby anytime soon. Not that I wouldn’t want to.

  After a year and a half of ups and downs, we were as busy as ever. Milo’s training had started since FINA lifted the ban. His schedule was super hectic and I was traveling a lot with Daria, sometimes Naomi, because I personally wanted to meet the heads of the charitable organizations we were trying to help. I believed in a face-to-face approach and in that way, I can also make that personal connection with them. A baby would change everything right now. Plus I am not having a baby without him marrying me first. I’ve pined all my life for him. If there was one thing that I really wanted to have before starting a family, it would be his last name.

  Milo lifted my breast to his face and gently swirled my nipple with his tongue before tying the strings of my bandeau top around my neck. His green eyes blazed with gratification as he rasped, “Mmm, we can’t be apart this long. I fucking hate it when you’re away from me.”

  “It’s only been six days,” I reasoned. Six days too long. He’d been in training in Arizona and I was just coming back from a trip to London. We’ve managed to make this week long trip to Antigua after he’d put his foot down and seen how tired I was from our video conversations. There was no doubt my man loved me. He could read me before I even started to utter a word. I was about to say “no” to this vacation, but he’d already made arrangements with Daria so I could not make any excuses.

  “Ava.” He honed his gaze on me, his green eyes softening “It doesn’t matter if it’s six hours or six days. When you’re out of my reach, I can’t help but worry.”

  “I know.” It was the same with me. I was going to cut back on the traveling as soon as Milo’s training was in full swing. Daria was more than capable to handle the meet-and-greets with people and I can manage a lot of things via our social media sites. I was also thinking of going per diem at Arizona State Medical Center where Brynn worked. I left nursing because everything became too much for me when my father had a noose around my neck. Maybe now was the time to get back to it.

  I clamped my legs around his solid waist and rubbed my hands over his chest. “I’m going to cut back on traveling. I miss you too, babe. Plus I need to keep those swim bunnies from stealing you away from me.”

  He jerked his head back in laughter. “Swim bunnies?”

  “You know…the girls who hang around the pool after practice, hoping to catch your heart.”

  His gaze turned thoughtful and his voice lowered, he said, “They’d have nothing to catch because my heart is under your lock and key.”

  Kissing him with enough passion that will definitely necessitate another round, I replied, “That’s right. I threw the key in the ocean so you’re never getting it back.”

  “You’re the most stunning bride,” I declared, a catch in my throat forming, and by the time we walked down the aisle, I’d be a fucking blubbering mess, but I didn’t care.

  Bee lifted the short veil that went down to her chin and wrapped her arms around me. “You’re not supposed to make me cry. Ava will be upset that she’d have to redo my eye makeup again.”

  “You look perfect, Bee.” In a few minutes I’d be turning her over to the hands of her waiting groom. Her blue eyes glowed, reminding me so much of our mom when she was happy. “Kieran’s very lucky to have you. And just remember, if he doesn’t treat you right, call or text me and I’ll pound the shit outta him.”

  Her arms loosened from the hug and her shoulders shook with laughter. I helped fix the hair that got loosened when she had lifted the veil earlier.

  The bridal song could be heard from where we were standing. Teena, the wedding coordinator, peeked in from the door and said, “Everyone wants to see the bride.”

  The door opened, and before we took a step forward, Bee, who was wearing heels that made her only a couple of inches shorter than me, leaned against my side. “You’re the best brother, Milo. I owe a lot of things to you. Thank you for always being there for me. No one will ever replace you. You’re my family. Ti amo.”

  Yep. A fucking stupid blubbering mess.

  Walking down the aisle of the small chapel, Bee’s right arm looped around my left arm. It just seemed like it was only yesterday when we walked like this, me helping her find her stride when she was just starting to walk. I was there to help her up every time she fell so she wouldn’t cry. No one will ever replace her. She’s my sister. My family. Just like the Celtic tattoo on my right bicep and her right ankle, MBATW, Milo And Brynn Against The World. But now, the people attending this event, Kieran’s hilarious brothers and his parents – they belonged to our family now. We belonged to them too.

  For a second, my eyes drifted to the glass windows overlooking the incredible view of Fiji’s Coral Coast and azure waters.

  Papà, dad, I’ve protected her throughout the years. You would be proud. Her soon-to-be husband is a great man.

  Kieran was indeed a nice guy. And an accomplished Olympian. Shortly after winning seven Olympic gold medals in Brazil, he’d asked me for my sister’s hand. He could have just flat-out asked her because even if I said no, was he really going to rescind his offer? He asked me because he respected me. That was more than I could have ever asked for, especially with our history.

  As I placed Bee’s hands on top of Kieran’s, I couldn’t manage to say a word. I was holding everything in because I’d hate to end up in a Youtube video with the search words “ugly cry.”

  Standing by my chair next to Jen and Steve, Kieran’s parents, my eyes met Ava’s, who was standing by Bee’s side as her maid of honor. My woman had always been beautiful. But right now she looked downright angelic. Her gray eyes were misty and her cheeks had an extra glow. She raised her left hand to her eyes to dab at the tears threatening to fall, the sun’s rays peeking through the glass reflecting the shine on the diamond ring I’d given her way back. What she didn’t know was that it was going to be replaced soon. Very soon.

  Everyone clapped and cheered as the bride and groom walked down the aisle, signaling the end of the wedding ceremony. I held Ava’s waist as soon she had marched outside the doors of the chapel. Kieran’s friend, Duncan, also a swimmer, was an okay dude, but he kept sneaking glances at my woman. Fine, he wasn’t the only guy checking her out. The other guys were trying to look nonchalant about it, but I’m a guy, I knew what they were thinking when they saw her radiant smile, the generous amount of cleavage she was showing in that dress, and the traffic-stopping legs in those sexy black heels. They better stop th
is shit or forks would be flying at the reception.

  “Calm down, big boy,” Ava whispered, her breath minty, orangey. She loved sucking on those orange tic tacs. There was another thing she loved to suck on...damnit, I better be able to hold off pouncing on her until after this event.

  “What?” I asked innocently. “I’m not doing anything.”

  “You’re not?” A pointed brow reached her hairline. “Hmm. I wonder why Duncan left me, like his pants were on fire.” Today she had her hair half up, half down. She’d begged me last night not to make any visible marks on her neck because they might show. I conceded a little. Instead of a full-on hickey, it was a tiny one along her right shoulder blade.

  “What?” I had seen Duncan scampering away from Ava after the maid of honor and best man march. Good. I glared at him long enough.

  “When are you going to stop being so jealous?” She huffed, her tone lecturing, her steps quickening so we could catch up with the rest of the crowd who were now entering the building where the reception was being held at.

  “When are you going to stop being so sexy?” I countered, wrapping my arms over the shoulders exposed by her strapless dress.

  Rolling her eyes, coupled with her dark head shaking, she stopped in her tracks and rubbed her hand on her favorite spot, my left lower ribcage, where an “A” was prominently displayed and tattooed over that piece of skin. “When I’m eighty, ask me that question again.”

  I will.

  Because when she’s eighty, she’s still going to be the sexiest eighty year old there is. Glancing at the spectacular white sandy beach view in front of us, I began to plot on how the hell I was going to propose to her.

  I should probably do it after I win Olympic gold medals.

  Fuck, I don’t wanna be a Kieran copycat.

  I should probably do it on our anniversary.

  Shit. Then that day would be jam-packed with celebrations.

  I should probably do it on—

  “What are you thinking of?” Her soft voice breached my thoughts, her hands giving my fingers a light caress, her piercing gray eyes looking at me with enough love to last a lifetime and a half.

  “Just how much I love you,” I replied. It hasn’t been easy, but we had made it this far. She wasn’t perfect, but neither was I. We fought with each other and we made up. We get annoyed, upset, and she’d randomly throw a pillow or a random object at me when she got aggravated with me. But we also laughed a lot, joked twice as much, and genuinely enjoyed each other’s company.

  Life is not made up of sweetness, rainbows, and sunshines all the time.

  Life is littered with bitterness, sad memories, and sunsets too.

  As long as you find the person who made all the crappy stuff better and walked with you through the fire, you realize that it’s worth it all.

  She was worth it all.

  “Is it done?”

  Daniel’s immediate response to my message blinked on the phone. “Yes.”

  After two weeks of back-and-forth, changing the verbage, signing documents, it was finally done.

  Glancing at the water, the sun lowered in the sky and the summer breeze serenely blew by. I caught a falling leaf on my left hand and felt the steady stream of peaceful air. There wasn’t enough gust to make the leaves fall.

  Holding onto the lone russet, oval-shaped stray from her favorite tree, my eyes found the mirage of colors reflecting the beautiful sunset.

  Aliana.

  Je suis désolé.

  For all my transgressions, for my cruelty to you, mon amour, for what I’ve made you go through, I’m truly, terribly sorry.

  Every evening I walked three miles to stand and watch the sunset in our favorite spot. She used to point at the skyline and say, “One day, I wanna be the brightest shining star up there.” And I would gather her in my arms and tell her, “You are, mon amour. You are the most dazzling star around.”

  I’d bet all my chips on my statement because it was the truth.

  She’s the elusive five of a kind. The river, the catch perfect, the center pot in the gloomy world where my best friend Simon and I ruled for many years. We may have grown up in the unglamorous parts of France, but being in that world equipped us with the confidence and skills to trust our reads, move up the stakes, and how to play deep. Simon and I were kindred spirits, him losing his father at a young age and me growing up on my own when my mother left my alcoholic father, we became closer than blood brothers the day he offered to share his lunch when he saw me scavenging his garbage for some food. I knew what made him twitch and he instinctively knew when I needed a hand in card games and in life.

  The day we landed in Vegas, we promised we’d change the fates brought on by our parents. And we did. We built Troudeau Enterprises from the ground up, card by card, hand in hand, bet by bet. I was the charmer, he was the thinker. We were dubbed the unstoppable Tour de France in every card game because that’s just it – we were unstoppable.

  Until the day we met her.

  I saw her first, but she loved him first.

  She was in the front row seats with her friends, watching the last rounds of the poker tournament. Simon had been eliminated in the previous rounds, so it was just me and Gary, the Irish poker master. I had looked up in the audience because I’d heard a wondrous female laughter that actually cut through my airtight concentration.

  And there she was.

  My river.

  The card I’ve been waiting from the dealer.

  The minute I was announced the winner, I charmed my way into her heart. I thought she felt the same until I saw the long looks she gave Simon every time we went out. Being my best friend, he cleared the way for me even though he probably felt her attraction for him. But for the first time in my life, I claimed her as mine and mine alone, and when she said yes, it was the single, happiest day of my life.

  I knew she loved me. Throughout the years we were together, Aliana loved me – I became the center of her world, until she got pregnant. Ava was a blessing. And a curse. We didn’t plan on her. We didn’t even talk about children, and when she’d said she was pregnant I was happy, but I was also apprehensive. I didn’t want to be a father. Life was more than great. My businesses were flourishing and we were traveling everywhere we wanted to go. She had quit her job as a model because I couldn’t bear the thought of other men lusting over her. Like I said, I was a persuasive charmer.

  The day Ava was born, I was in China for a meeting with an important investor. Aliana couldn’t travel that late in her pregnancy. Simon was there for the birth. I didn’t have to ask him. He was just there because he was a good friend. He was the only person I trusted with my life. The day Ava turned one, Simon was there because I was in Hong Kong. Every momentous occasion, Simon was there because I became consumed with making Troudeau Enterprises a worldwide name. I loved Aliana, but my absence made her closer to Simon. I wasn’t sure if they carried on an affair. To this day, I had my doubts, Simon would not have done that, he was too good of a man for that. But then again, Aliana was a beautiful woman. Sometimes beauty corrupted friendships.

  One night, months before Ava’s graduation, Aliana came into my office carrying a bunch of papers, asking for a divorce. I was stunned and livid. She’d said it had been a long time coming, and I’d responded with, “Over my decayed corpse.”

  She had left the house and never came back.

  I had lost her.

  In my quest for power and my hunger for ambition, I gave up the only card that meant the world to me. By the time I realized it, it was too late. I lost my best friend in that accident. I also lost my wife. My sanity.

  When the doctors said Aliana had a brain injury and couldn’t remember, I suddenly found myself having been given a second chance. I wanted her to live in the moment before she left me, before she was planning to leave me. Ava had other ideas. She wanted her mom to remember, and like her mother, her will to do so undermined my power.

  “You never gave her the ch
ance to say goodbye to her mom.” Milo Tanner’s words hounded me. He was an obstinate man who challenged my rules and defied my warnings. News of his proposal to my daughter was all over the web today and even French TV. Someone would be asking for my statement soon, and I’d already instructed Daniel to say, “I wish them infinite happiness.”

  At every turn, my daughter had fought me for her mother and the man she loved. One day I hope she can forgive me. I didn’t hate Ava. I just wasn’t ready for her. I wasn’t ready to be a father, I wasn’t ready for a daughter to share the attention and love of the woman who may not have even loved me from the beginning, the way I’d hoped her to.

  The scent of tuberose and pear percolated in the still air. The scent of my beloved. Aliana.