by Tynessa
I loved that girl more than life itself.
Shaniqua
I was still furious about the bitch being pregnant by Ronny but until we found out if it was really his or not, then I’d just push it to the back of my mind. But the shit was far from over.
I walked into the living room to find Ronny lying on the couch watching TV. Damn these were the days I missed so much, just having him there with me. I stood there for a while staring at him before sitting his plate on the coffee table along with his cherry Kool-Aid.
“Damn, this just like the old days, huh?” he said smiling sitting up grabbing his plate. I smiled back at him before going back into the kitchen to get mines.
Minutes later, I walked back into the living room and he was stuffing his face. He has always loved my cooking. My mom always told me ‘The best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’ and thanks to her I could throw down in the kitchen. Neither one of us said a word as we ate in silence.
“Ronny can I ask you a question?” I asked breaking the silence.
“Yeah, what’s up?” he said still stuffing his face.
“You knew Niyah was yours all alone, didn’t you?”
He finally looked up at me and smiled, nodding his head up and down. “Yeah I did. I believe you did too. You just didn’t want to believe it. I mean come on Shan; she looks just like a nigga. When did you finally come to your senses though?”
“Yeah but that time I came to visit I was already pregnant. But to answer question Dre’s cousin Brooke told me that he couldn’t have kids so I knew then she was yours.”
He just laughed as if I had told a joke or something and started back eating.
“What’s funny?” I asked staring at him like he’d lost his mind.
“You do remember we fucked at my ma house right before you left?”
“Yeah, but I watched you put on the condom though.”
“It broke,” he simply said and shrugged his shoulders as if it wasn’t a big deal.
That motherfucker! I knew it had already happened and there wasn’t shit I could do about it but I felt as if I was going to have a damn heart attack.
“WHAT? You had me walking around here like a damn fool thinking she was Dre’s baby, and you knew all along that she was yours. Like for real, where in the hell they do that at? Why the fuck you didn’t say anything? You dead ass wrong for that shit Ronny!” I was beyond pissed. He knew that shit wasn’t right.
He started laughing again, “Man calm your overdramatic ass down girl.”
“Man you know that shit ain’t cool.”
He shrugged his shoulder. “Well she’s here now. Plus we were gonna eventually have her anyways since that fuck nigga couldn’t have kids,” he said laughing once again before starting back eating.
I just sat there staring at him. He could be so damn insensitive and childish sometimes. I could slap the shit out of him right now. But on the other hand, I loved his crazy ass and was thankful that he gave me my beautiful baby girl.
“You make me so sick,” I said and started back eating.
“Now let me ask you a question,” he stared at me with a serious look. I didn’t say anything; I just stared back at him.
“You and that fuck nigga married or were you engaged to him?”
I sat there in shock. I was going to beat Ray’Shun’s little ass. I made a mental note to have a talk with his little ass about running his mouth so much. My mouth was opening and closing but nothing was coming out.
“Huh?” he asked.
I cleared my throat, “No… I mean he asked me to marry him.”
“And, your answer was?”
“It don’t matter, I’m here with you now.”
He just nodded his head and started back eating.
A few minutes later, he said, “Mmm girl you know your way around the kitchen. Then you cooked my favorite,” still stuffing his face. I knew Chicken Alfredo was his favorite with garlic bread.
I just smiled.
“You must be trying to get a nigga back with this good cooking,” he said finally looking at me.
All I did was smile and give him a wink. I did want him back but I was going to play it safe this time around. I was going to make him prove how much he loves and wants me and only me.
“Don’t you think it’s about time for us to stop playing games Shaniqua?” he asked sitting his plate down. He never called me Shaniqua unless he were serious. “I want my kids to grow up with both parents. I hate this shit, I get them only on the weekends, it’s every other weekend at that, and I don’t like that shit at all. I don’t want them growing up like I did baby, traveling from one parent to the other one.”
I sat my plate down, “I feel where you’re coming from Ronny but I can’t take my heart being broken by you anymore.”
“Baby trust me, I will never break your heart again. I know I said that before but this time I am gonna do right by you and I promise I’m never letting you go this time around.” He said grabbing my hand.
“I’m going to hold you to that,” I said smiling at him.
He stood up and pulled me up in his arms hugging me tightly and giving me a kiss so passionately my knees became weak. He lifted me into his strong arms and carried me upstairs. laying me on the bed. I wanted him so bad but I wasn’t about to go there with him just yet.
“Ronny wait,” I said stopping him as he was taking off my shirt. “I have something to tell you.”
“What’s wrong boo?”
“I was raped that night,” I said just about a whisper.
“Say what?” he asked bringing his face closer to mines as if he didn’t hear me but I knew he did because of the scowl that he was now wearing on his face.
“You heard right Ronny…. I was raped that night Dre kidnapped me.”
“So that pussy ass nigga raped you and you didn’t tell me,” he yelled furiously.
I dropped my head. “It wasn’t him.”
“Man speak up Shan and quit beating around the fucking bush. Shit!”
“I said it wasn’t him,” I said with an attitude. Damn we hadn’t been back together but ten minutes and we were already bumping heads.
“Well who the fuck was it then? Damn,” he asked fumingly.
“I don’t know I had on a blindfold but Dre did say it was his cousin. When he was raping me, he said he always wanted to know what it was hitting like. I thought all his family lived in Maryland, unless they came back down here with him,” I said as tears ran down my cheeks.
“FUCK!” Ronny yelled so loud, punching a hole in my wall causing me to jump.
He began pacing the floor. “Why the fuck you haven’t been told me?” he asked.
“What was you gonna do Ronny? Hello, you killed the motherfucker so we’ll never know who it was.”
“That’s what you think,” he said as he walked in the bathroom and came back seconds later with a wet washcloth and washed my face. “Come on boo, it’s still early let’s get out this house.”
“Okay I want to go to the mall anyways,” I said getting off the bed.
He smiled and shook his head. “Always trying to spend some money,” he said.
Star
“Cornell wake the fuck up,” I kicked the side of the bed.
“What’s up baby?” he asked jumping up.
“Why the fuck you always eating my shit?” I asked him angrily.
He was always eating whatever leftover I brought home. Things between us weren’t good at all. He was working my last nerves and he was entirely too clingy. There was nothing I hate worse than a dude that wanted to be around me 24/7. Sometimes when we would have an argument, he would call my mom like there was something she could do.
“Man you waking me up for that?” he asked turning over.
“You damn right I’m waking you up for that. You saw the shit had my name on it so that clearly meant don’t fucking touch it. You get on my fucking nerves with that shit,” I said walking out the room still fussing.
I grabbed my car keys and headed out the door. I needed to get away from his ass so I went to my bestie Drea’s house.
“What’s up bitch? What you doing over here?” Drea said when she opened the door.
“Hey chick. I had to get away from that man of mines,” I said walking over to the couch taking a seat.
Drea rolled her eyes upwards. “What he do this time? I’m surprised he let you out of his sight.”
“He was still sleep. I had to curse his ass out for eating my food from O’Charley’s.”
“Aw boo,” Drea said rubbing my back. “You need me to make it all better for you?” she asked me with a devilish grin.
I rolled my eyes because I wasn’t in the mood for her little entertainment either. “Naw I’m good on that. I was actually headed to the mall, you want to ride?”
“No Robert is about to get off work and I told him that I would be home when he got here,” she said referring to her boyfriend.
I smacked my lips and got off the couch grabbing my purse, “Ugh.”
“Well just hit me later on then maybe we can do something tonight,” she said.
“Okay Chica,” I replied and kissed her right on the lips before leaving.
*************
I was inside the mall when I saw a tall dread head inside of Foot Locker. I didn’t know how his face looked but I was feeling his swag from the back. He was dressed in baggy jeans but not too baggy, a red and white collared shirt that was more than likely to be polo with fresh white Air Force Ones, and his long dreads pulled back into a ponytail. I watched him pull out a gwap of money and instantly my pussy started dripping. I walked up behind him and slightly ran my hand down his arm to get his attention and when he turned around my jaw damn near hit the floor.
“Ronny!” I said. Damn I was checking for my sister’s man.
He frowned, “Who else you thought I was, rubbing on my arm like that?”
I smacked. “Like what?” I asked trying to act as if I wasn’t about to get my flirt on.
“Like you just did! Don’t make me tell my brother you were out here trying to get your flirt on,” he said as my sister was walking up behind him.
“Star boo,” she sang with a big smile on her face.
What in the hell is she so happy for and why is they in the mall shopping together like they wasn’t just mad a few weeks ago? I guess they must’ve made up since he supposedly had saved her from Dre’s crazy ass.
“Shanie,” I sang back as we hugged.
“Who you here with, my brother in law?” she asked me.
“Hell naw she ain’t with my brother cause she saw me from the back and was about to get her mack on until I turned around and she saw it was me,” Ronny said laughing but leaving out the part that I rubbed his arm and I was happy he did. Shaniqua was like a ticking time bomb waiting to explode when it came to Ronny and I’d seen her fight so that was definitely a bomb I wasn’t trying to set off.
“Damn lil sis you checking for my man now. He is sexy as hell, ain’t it?” she said looking up at him smiling as if he was a piece of meat.
I frowned. “Your man? When did this happen?” I just had to know.
“Today… Its official girl, I got my baby back,” she said laughing. She was so silly at times.
“You’re so silly,” I laughed with her.
“So what are you doing tonight?” she asked me.
“I don’t know. I might just chill in the house tonight, I don’t feel like doing anything.”
“Oh okay that’s what’s up. Well, let us get out of here, call me later though,” she said and we hugged again before going our separate ways.
Chapter 3
Shaniqua
I’d been on the phone with Brooke for over an hour listening to her ramble on about her husband and how she thinks he’s cheating on her. I felt sorry for my girl because I could relate to her on so many levels. Brooke and I had become extremely close and I have grown to love her like a sister. I’d always told her she’s like the big sister I never had.
“Man sis, I already told you that you and the kids should come down here to visit for a week or two. You know, just to get away and get your mind off the bullshit.”
“I know girl and believe me, I’ve contemplating on it for real.”
That made me happy just to hear her say she had been thinking about it. I didn’t know how Ronny would feel about it being that she was Dre’s first cousin but she wasn’t like Dre at all. I was pretty sure he would love her like a sister also.
“I’m gonna book you a flight for next week. If that nigga wanna play games then let that mothafucka do him and you come down here and do you. Let that nigga know what it’s like to hurt. That’s what I had to do to Ronny’s ass.”
“Yeah but Ronny got the last laugh when he knocked your ass up while y’all supposedly been broken up,” she said laughing.
“Sis you wrong for that shit,” I said also laughing as Ronny walked in. My eyes quickly went to the digital clock that was hanging on the bedroom wall. It read 1:13am.
I watched his every move, from him walking to his dresser empting his pockets, from him going to his closet and coming back out seconds later with just his boxers and a wife beater on. Looking so sexy, but that was a different story. He then went into the bathroom and closed the door. The whole time he never once acknowledged my presence. Whatever, I am not about kiss his ass; I said to myself as Brooke was saying she was going to come visit.
“I’m gonna go ahead and reserve a hotel for me and the kids when I wake up,” she said.
“No you’re not! Girl I still have my condo so you and the kids can stay there or if you want you can stay here with us. Hell it’s 4 bedrooms here,” I was saying as Ronny walked out the bathroom.
“Who can stay here with us? Better yet, who the fuck you on the phone with this time of morning?” He had the nerve to ask rudely. I know he did not just butt into my conversation when he just walked right past me like I wasn’t sitting here. Then going to have the nerve to ask me a question, I wished I would answer his ass. I kept right on talking not even looking his way.
“Girl you know I’m not about to stay there with y’all,” Brooke said.
“Well you can stay at the condo then.”
Ronny got in bed and slid close to me pulling me in his arms. I rolled my eyes upward and made myself comfortable. I had to be nice to him so he would be in a good mood when I tell him that Brooke was coming down to visit.
“Well I’m gonna book your flight and call you tomorrow to give you all the info,” I said and we said our goodbyes and hung up.
I turned over so that I was facing Ronny. “So where you been?” I asked calmly but I really wanted to go the fuck off.
“I was chilling with Bino and Vic.”
At the mention of Vic’s name, I wanted to slap the taste right out of his mouth but I just took a deep breath instead. I guess he sensed an attitude was coming on because he ensured me that he wasn’t out doing anything he had no business doing. I eyed him for a minute before saying okay.
“So who you booking a flight for? And you never told me who you were talking to.”
“That was Brooke, you remember me telling you about her?”
“Yeah, so what you booking her a flight for? Where she going?” he asked confusedly.
“Um, I wanted her to come visit.”
“So you want your crazy punk ass ex-fiancé’s cousin to come to my house?” He looked at me as if I had grown a second head.
I looked away before saying, “Yeah.”
“I don’t know about having her around my kids, she might be on some retaliation type shit.”
“Bae trust me, Brooke is not like that. Hell she’s the one that talked my ass into coming back to you,” I said smiling. I kissed him on the lips. “And I’m glad she did.”
“You was coming back anyways,” he said flipping me over and positioning himself between my legs.
Ronny and I have bee
n back together for about 3 months now and I have yet to have sex with him. It wasn’t that I didn’t want it. I just wanted him to prove that he wanted only me and what we shared was more than sex. Though I felt bad because he was always asking but I just wasn’t ready.
“Can I get some pussy tonight?” he asked kissing my neck.
“No Ronny, I’m not ready for all that yet.” I didn’t know how much longer I could keep blaming being raped as the reason I didn’t want to have sex with him.
“Man Shan that shit is getting old now. You need to come up with another excuse.” He stared me in the eyes and said.
Damn.
“What are you talking about? I’m not even talking about the rape. It’s that time of the month, but me being raped will never get old! I am a rape victim and you don’t know if or how bad that shit affected me. Some people don’t just brush that shit off the next day,” I said with a slight attitude. I wasn’t really mad though.
“I didn’t mean it like that Shan. I just thought you were over it being that you let me eat your pussy the other night,” he said before rolling over to his side of the bed.
“I didn’t let you; you woke me up doing the shit.”
He looked back at me. “And you didn’t stop me either!”
I laughed because he was right, that shit was feeling too good to stop him. Who turns down good head? Exactly!
I heard him mumbling something about it’s been almost 3 months and he couldn’t even get pussy from his girl. He threw the covers over his head and I turned my back to him.
“Goodnight,” I said to him but he didn’t respond back. I just laughed and shook my head. He’ll be alright.
Cornell
I sat on the couch after Star had stormed out of the house once again. She had been acting out for a few months now. I don’t know what or who had gotten into her but I wasn’t feeling the person she has become at all. Honestly, I don’t know where we went wrong but she wasn’t the same person I’d grown to love. I was still in love with her true enough but I was not feeling the new Starletta Holmes at all.
I grabbed my cell phone off the end table by the couch and dialed her number but she didn’t answer as usual. I then debated if I wanted to call her mother or not. I knew she told me many times not to call her mother whenever we had an argument but there was no one else to vent to. My big bro Ronny would never understand, I tried to vent to him once and he told me I was too weak and needed to grow some balls. Now that I think about it, he might’ve been right. After looking through my contacts in my phone, I found Shan’s number and hit send.