by Lexi Blake
“It’s a lot,” she replied. “The man wants a family and I can’t give him a natural one. He wants a kid who looks like him. I get that. He’s got some good genes to pass on.”
“He’s not as shallow as you think.”
“I don’t think he’s shallow at all,” Sarah argued. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting a child who looks like you.”
Kori shook her head. “Ever heard of surrogacy? There are a lot of ways to make a family. Get creative, girl.”
She hadn’t even thought about surrogacy. Or adoption. All she’d thought about was the fact that she couldn’t be the one to carry his baby. There were options. But she couldn’t let him make reckless decisions. “He needs to think about it. Maybe once the surgery is over and I’ve recovered we can try to be friends again.”
Kori sighed. “We’ll talk about that, too. I’m going to meet Kai. He said he needs to talk to me. I’ll see you in a few.”
The door closed behind Kori and Sarah took a deep breath. She knew her friend was beyond frustrated with her, but she wasn’t sure what else she should do. Jared hadn’t reached out. If he’d wanted to talk, he would have been on her doorstep this morning. He needed time and she intended to give it to him.
And if he decided he needed someone else, she would accept that, too. She wasn’t sure how, but she would. Wasn’t she supposed to want what was best for the man she loved?
She heard the snick of a lock sliding into place and turned, her heart racing just a bit.
Jared stood where Kori had seconds before. He was tall and delicious in all black, from his dark denims to his sneakers to the muscle shirt that showed off years of hard work. He was so lickable it was hard sometimes to remember that the best part of the man was his kind heart. Though he didn’t look kind now. He looked irritated. Super hot. But irritated.
“Where did you come from? Did Kori let you in?” Were they going to talk about this here? She’d expected a phone call. It was going to hurt to do this in person.
“I’ve been here the whole day, Princess.”
He stepped away from the locked door and loomed over her. There was a darkness around her normally sunny guy that probably should have had her backing up. She’d never been that smart. Nope. The tight line of his jaw, the way his muscles were tense like he was a predator about to pounce—it simply made her go soft.
But she couldn’t go soft now. She didn’t want Jared’s sympathy. She was truly happy the whole situation had come out and she didn’t have to lie about it anymore, but she had to hold the line where it came to Jared. They would both be miserable if they didn’t slow things down. “I’m sorry about how I told you. I shouldn’t have dropped that in your lap.”
“Is that how you’re going to play it?” His voice had gone low. Now she could recognize it for what it was—his Dom voice. It was the one he’d used when he’d been Sir. He apparently didn’t respect personal space when he used this voice because he was standing mere inches away from her, so close she could practically feel how hot his skin was.
“What do you mean by play? I’m not trying to play anything.” She hadn’t meant those words to come out so breathy and submissive, but he was pushing her every button when it came to that part of her personality.
“Oh, you’ve been playing with me for a very long time, and it stops today.”
“Jared, I…”
“No, you’re going to listen,” he commanded. “You’re going to answer the questions I ask, but for the most part you’re going to shut that sweet mouth of yours and listen to me. Every time you disobey means another ten I’ll give you at the end of this.”
“End of what?” She wasn’t sure what was happening.
“That’s the first ten. At the end of this scene we’ve been playing out for the last few years. I sat up most of last night trying to figure out where I’d gone wrong and I realized I went wrong the moment I didn’t slap a collar around your neck about two minutes after I met you. I was in a bad place, but I should have been braver because I knew even then that you were the woman I’d been looking for my whole life.”
“I know we need to talk. Let’s go get a cup of coffee.” Anything would be better than talking about this in the very place where he’d made love to her for the first time.
He nodded. “That’s twenty and yes, I’m sure you would love to go somewhere civilized where I would have to play the gentleman and listen to the crap that’s going to spew from your mouth.”
“Crap?”
“Thirty. And yes, crap. Let me make this easy on you. I can make your argument right now. You think I need time to come to terms with the fact that you won’t be able to carry my child and I said I wanted one. You fully believe that I can’t be happy if I don’t procreate, and do it in a wholly traditional way, so you’ve pushed me aside. Now think for a second because you’re up to thirty, and even your masochistic ass is going to be aching because this is not going to be an erotic spanking.”
This was the moment when she explained to him there wouldn’t be a spanking at all. They didn’t have a contract. They didn’t really have a relationship. She was going to tell him those things, except she didn’t. She stood there looking up at his gorgeous face, completely unable to remember the reasons she thought this couldn’t work.
“Excellent.” His pleasure at her compliance was palpable. “Am I wrong about what you intend to tell me?”
She shook her head. “No. I think it would be best if you took some time to let this sink in. The consequences are real.”
He nodded as though he’d expected that reply. “All right. I think we need to work this out. I’m going to give you a head start. You’ll have the time it takes me to get to the control room and set the lights. Any clothing you want to keep, you should probably remove.”
“What are you talking about?”
Those stark green eyes of his heated up. “It’s Saturday, Sarah. You danced for me last night. Today is the day I get to chase my sweet sub down and make her mine. It’s my day to choose. Unless you plan to use your safe word in an utterly cowardly way, as you did last night.”
“Cowardly?” He was getting under her skin, but then he kind of lived there since the day she’d met him.
“That’s forty,” he shot back. “And yes, it was cowardly. You used that safe word like a leash you had around my neck. It is not meant to stop uncomfortable conversations that have nothing at all to do with D/s. It’s not meant to shove me in a corner until you want to deal with me again, and if you ever use it that way again, we’re going to have a problem. I’ve already put a clause in our contract.”
She wanted to argue about that, but she was up to forty. Forty she didn’t have to take because this scene he wanted to play out wasn’t happening. Was it?
“You can speak.”
Though it rankled, she still responded. “What contract?”
He took a step back. “The one you’re going to sign after I’ve caught you, disciplined you, and fucked you until you can’t see straight. Then we’re going to get on a plane, go to Las Vegas, and get married. I’ll have you back in plenty of time to make your Monday morning surgery, but I will not allow you to go into this without legal paperwork allowing me to make decisions in case something goes wrong. I will be in charge of taking care of you.”
This was exactly what she’d been trying to avoid. She knew he’d react this way. “We can’t get married because I could die.”
“We’re not getting married because you could die. We’re getting married because I can’t stand to spend another day on this earth without being your husband. Now are you going to be a little coward who I have to chase down in the real world, or are you going to be the queen I know you are and make me chase you down here where we’re going to find so much joy and pleasure? I can’t keep you here. If you walk out that door, it won’t be over. I’ll still be there for you through every minute of what’s to come, but my heart will ache because I’ll know you didn’t trust me. It’s your c
hoice.”
He was the one putting her in a corner now. “No one gives you enough credit for being a manipulative bastard.”
He shrugged, his muscular shoulders moving up and down with negligent grace. “It’s the face, my love. No one sees much past this face of mine, but you will. You have one minute to decide.”
He couldn’t expect her to decide now. “I need more time.”
His hands found lean hips and he stared at her. “And yet you only have one minute. Do we hash this out like the D/s couple we want to be?”
They shouldn’t be a couple at all.
But if she wanted any shot at him after this was over, she couldn’t walk away. She had to make him understand.
The truth of the matter was, she didn’t even want to walk away. She wanted him. If this was the last time they had together, she wanted it. He knew how she felt about the situation. “This doesn’t change anything.”
“Oh, I think it’s going to change everything, my love, but if you still feel the same at the end of this, I’ll step back. Not from you. You should understand that unless you get a restraining order, I’ll be with you at the hospital and I’ll visit you every day. I’ll be everything you need.”
She turned and watched him start to walk away. “Then what are you stepping back from?”
He turned and the most decadent grin curled his lips up. “From eating your pussy the first minute I can. From proving to you that you don’t have to have a uterus for me to make you come like you’ve never come before. So you’ll get all the mother hen and none of the cock. Think about that.”
She stood there and watched him walk away. What was she going to do? She wasn’t going to get a restraining order. It would hurt Kai if she kept his brother away. Hell, it seemed like it would hurt Jared, and she didn’t want to do that.
What would she do if he wouldn’t take her good advice and give himself some time?
The lights went out. The hallway went dark, but there was an unearthly glow coming from the stairs that led to the second floor of Sanctum.
“Time’s up. You should enter the maze.” Jared’s voice came over the PA that was normally used to pump low, sexy music through the place. “Unless you don’t want to challenge me at all, and then your spanking can be over very quickly. Well, as quickly as forty hard smacks to that luscious ass of yours will take. I don’t know. I’m not even tired yet. I still have the energy to lube up a nice plug with some ginger. We can start there. Or you could tire me out a bit and force me to chase you through the maze.”
Damn him. He knew she wouldn’t be able to walk away, and she hated the ginger lube. Asshole. Glorious, gorgeous, devious asshole. He had neatly put her in a corner, and she wasn’t willing to do what it took to come out of it.
She could walk away. The door was right there, and maybe she could have done it if she hadn’t spent the morning with women who’d managed to make it despite the odds. Erin had lost Theo, and when she’d gotten him back, he hadn’t remembered her. Had she given up? Eve had gone through hell and found her way back to Alex on the other side. Charlotte had been apart from Ian for years.
Was she really willing to not even try? No one got everything they wanted out of life. No one. The universe demanded sacrifices, and somehow sorrow balanced with joy in the end.
Was she ignoring her joy?
She let her bag drop to the floor because she really, really hated ginger lube and she’d wasted a whole bunch of seconds thinking. She should stop thinking and start running because Jared didn’t tire out easily.
It was a good thing she knew every inch of this club or she might have tripped over her own feet.
“Yes, that’s what I want.” He chuckled, the sound coming from behind her. “Run, little sub. Don’t think you can hide from me. I’m going to catch you. Let’s make a bet. If you can get through this maze before I catch you, the spanking’s off and we’ll do this your way. We’ll talk it out.”
“And if you catch me?”
“Then it’s my way all the way,” he promised.
“You can’t make me marry you.” She had to hold out. It would be a mistake to not give him time.
“I bet I can. You haven’t had me at my best. What you got last night was an appetizer. By the end of the evening you’ll agree to anything I want just to have one more taste of my cock.”
He was probably right, but she couldn’t not call him on it. “Arrogant?”
“Surprisingly, not about much,” he replied. “But I know what I am good at and this is it. I do a couple of things well, and fucking is at the top of the list. So it’s up to you. Let’s see how fast you can make it through the maze. You’ve got a whole minute on me.”
“Or you could just walk to the end of the maze and catch me there.” She was starting to think he was sneaky.
“I don’t have to do that. I’ll have you in my arms in less than three minutes.”
Blood thrummed through her. She wasn’t sure what she wanted—to win or to get caught. She only knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she wanted to play. She made it to the floor of the dungeon and stopped to stare. Big Tag might complain about the parties Sanctum threw, but damn the man knew how to go all out. There was a whole maze erected on the dungeon floor, a green, high-walled shrub maze. The plants weren’t real, but in the dim light the leaves looked shiny and healthy. Flowers were strewn through here and there, giving the whole thing generous swaths of color. Beyond the flowers there were also twinkle lights threaded through, and someone had left the hamster wheel lit. The soft blue light filtered in and gave the whole place a soft, gauzy feeling.
It was a fantasy world and it was all for her.
She took off running, taking the first right-hand turn offered to her.
“Do you honestly think you can get away from me?” Jared’s voice floated through the maze, seeming to come from everywhere at once.
Maybe he was right and this was absolutely how they should do this. She’d made a hash out of it the first time, and she wasn’t sure a sit-down with a cup of coffee and a talk about her fucked-up life conversation would really work for them. “I think I’m trying to help you out. I’m going to be recovering for a while. Maybe a long time, depending on what they find. We’re not a long-term couple, Jared.”
She made another right. Wasn’t that what she’d heard she should do? In a maze you should always take a right turn? Or was it left?
“I don’t care. Do you know what I’ve learned over the years? That we don’t get to schedule our tragedies or our successes. They will happen when they happen, and how we deal with it makes or breaks us. I will not walk away from the woman I love because her struggle came at the wrong time in our relationship. This is what it means to be a couple. Do you not want to be with me because of the crap I get from trolls? Because it’s a lot, and you’ll get judged the same way I do for as long as I’m in the spotlight.”
She stopped, dragging air into her lungs. How big was this sucker? She thought about the dungeon and how big the space was, but the boys had turned it into a twisty-turny puzzle. She wasn’t even sure where she was compared to the regular dungeon. She was turned around. “I was willing to walk away with you when you were at the height of this mess. Right after you were arrested, I went to the police station. You wouldn’t see me.”
“And I was wrong. I was stupid. I was scared that I would hurt you. You should run, love. I’m very close.”
She took off again, even though she couldn’t see him coming up behind her. Where the hell was he? Despite the fact that she knew he would never hurt her, her heart was pounding in her chest. Maybe she needed a little more cardio.
Her feet thudded along the floor and then she cursed because Big Tag was an asshole and he’d put up a few obstacles. This one was a small fence that crossed the path. She would have to climb over it. She was sure it would also be used at some point to tie up a sub. She hoisted herself over it.
Or maybe it was meant to tire out the poor sub and make it
far easier for her Master to chase her down. She wouldn’t put it past the Doms.
Jared would likely simply jump over the little fence like it was a hurdle.
He was so fit and full of life, and she was about to be the opposite.
Was that what she was really afraid of? Or was it merely a small part of the horror she faced? She ran, her brain whirling. She was in a maze, in a place she should know so well, but it was fucked up. She’d stood in this space a thousand times, but now it was twisted, and a place that should be safe for her was foreign.
Like her body. Like her life.
She needed out. She ran, forgetting her plan. She simply ran, her lungs burning.
She wasn’t sure how, but she made it to the center of the maze and stopped. It was a mini dungeon, set up with a massage table that was fitted for bondage play. A St. Andrew’s Cross dominated one “wall” and there was a table displaying a plethora of toys.
This wasn’t a game.
“Jared, where are you?” She wasn’t sure she could find her way out without him.
“I never left you. Look up.”
She turned her head up and there was her man. He was clinging to the lights that normally illuminated the stage. How he’d gotten up there she had no idea, but from his perch, he could likely see the whole of the maze. She’d never had a chance, but then again, that was kind of the point. She wouldn’t have a chance to get away from him because he didn’t intend to leave her.
“Be sure. This is not going to be pretty.”
He eased himself off the sturdy base that held the lights. With nothing but his upper body strength, he curled off his perch and angled himself perfectly. He dropped down and landed on his feet with pure athletic power.
“I don’t need it to be pretty. I need it to be real.” He stood in front of her, his hands coming out to cup her face. “I need us to be real.”
“I could really die. No surgery is without its risks. And we’re not sure they won’t find cancer. It could already be there.”
“Then do not take a second of time away from us. Not a single second.” He leaned over and his lips brushed her forehead.