by Lexi Blake
“How do I make you understand?”
He stared down at her. “You think I don’t understand? I took care of my mother when she was sick. I watched her die. Do you honestly think I want to go through that again? I don’t. It scares me so much I can’t even let the thought in or I won’t be able to breathe. But I didn’t shut her out and I won’t walk away from you. I’ll fight with you. I’ll take care of you. I won’t ever give up on you, and if the worst happens, then I’ll be grateful for every single moment I had with you, even the worst ones. That’s what a marriage is. Not some happy shit that only works when things are at their best. Not some union intended to facilitate procreation. A marriage. Two people who come together because they don’t make sense apart, because they each hold a piece of the other’s soul.”
Tears blurred her vision. “I don’t want you to ache for me.”
“I don’t ache for you,” he corrected. “I ache without you. There is only one thing you need to consider when it comes to this decision. Do you love me?”
An easy question to answer. “More than I’ve ever loved anyone in my life.”
“Then marry me. Marry me when we don’t know what comes next, only that we’ll face it together.”
“I’m scared.”
“Then marry me and we’ll be scared together.”
It would be his answer to everything—together. She’d thought she was being brave and selfless keeping him at arm’s length, but now she realized she’d been afraid of him, too. She’d seen him as a distant dream. If she loved him, really loved him, it wouldn’t always be good. It would be work. It would be trouble. It would mean days where he was less than perfect and he needed her to step up.
It would be a life, a real one with a real family because a family didn’t have to conform to some picture-perfect ideal. It was made up of the people who loved you, who were there for you, who didn’t let you shut them out.
She nodded, unable to speak.
“That was a yes,” Jared whispered, leaning over.
She nodded again.
His lips brushed over hers. “And you’ll wear my collar.”
Her forever Dom. She’d kind of given up on that. “Yes.”
His hands shifted to her hips and he dragged her close. “How do you want this to go? I know you’re emotional. I can take you back to your place and hold you. I can be so gentle with you.”
He would have to be after the surgery. He would have to be careful. Jared would be tender, shoving his beast down in favor of her comfort. But he didn’t have to do that tonight. She was beginning to understand him. Women came easily to him, and his relationships had been shallow for the most part. He’d shown himself to her because she’d taken the time to know him, had spent long hours simply talking to him. If they’d started out in bed, their relationship might have gone the same as his others, but their mistakes had worked to their advantage. Jared liked a challenge. He needed it.
She pulled back. “Don’t think you’ve caught me yet, Master.”
She turned and ran toward the outer edge of the maze, thrilled by the low growl from Jared. That sensual sound went straight to her pussy. Her feet pounded against the floor. She wasn’t going to make it very far, but she would give it everything she had.
He would have to work for it for a change. Because she was worth it.
She turned the corner just in time to see him hoist himself over the wall and land in front of her.
And Ian Taggart said he wasn’t a real ninja because he just played one on TV. The man’s abilities took her breath away.
“There’s nowhere for you to run,” Jared said, stalking toward her.
She pivoted and ran back the way she’d come. She took a left instead of a right this time and prayed she’d been quick enough he hadn’t seen which way she’d gone. Maybe if she got out of the maze, he wouldn’t spank her. Or she could negotiate with him over the non-erotic nature of the whole thing.
Unless he managed to climb up on the ceiling again. She ran down a long section of the maze and turned right into a dead end. Damn it. She’d never been good at mazes, but then she’d also never thought it would be a life skill she would need. She hadn’t planned on finding herself in mazes being stalked by a hottie she was going to marry but who also was going to blister her backside.
She turned and there he was, standing at the end of the path, his eyes fastened on her. He looked feral and hungry, every line of his body tense and ready for a fight. Or a fuck.
Just for a second, she was slightly afraid of him. There was a beast inside her normally sweet and funny man, and she’d brought it out in him. She’d brought that deeply primal part of Jared to the surface.
“Baby…”
He shook his head. “No. No more talking. The only words I want to hear out of you are yes, Jared or please fuck me harder, Master. But we have a few things to deal with before we get to that part.”
He reached out, and before she could step back, he had a hand on her, drawing her to him.
She’d pushed him way too far. It was easy to see he’d held a lot of his anger and fear inside and was likely still doing it. This was a way for him to work through his issues.
God, she hoped he didn’t use the ginger lube. “Yes, Master.”
He leaned and tossed her over his shoulder. The world upended and she was left with a lovely view of his ass as he turned and started back toward the middle of the maze. At least she thought that was probably where he was going. He didn’t have the same trouble she’d had. He seemed to know exactly where he was going.
“Did you help set this thing up?”
A hard hand smacked her ass. Pain jarred through her because he wasn’t playing around with that tap. “I helped the guys set it up. We did it earlier today. Every Dom in the place knew exactly how to get through the maze. The game was always going to be rigged in our favor. We simply wanted you to believe you had a chance. I was never going to let you get away from me.”
He reached the center of the maze and lowered her to the table set up there.
“That doesn’t seem fair.” Not that she cared now. She didn’t want to win this game if it meant not being here with Jared. Some things were worth losing.
Even with her sitting on the table, he loomed over her. His hands came up to brush against her neck. “Nothing about this is fair.”
She was pretty sure he wasn’t merely talking about the games the Doms intended to play. He was talking about life. He was talking about them.
His hands shifted down and then he was doing something totally unfair. He ripped the blouse she was wearing in two.
“Jared,” she said, even as he was pulling the shirt from her and tossing it away.
“I told you if you wanted to save your clothes you should take them off.” He turned his attention to the table where the toys lay.
She had to think those were all for her since they were laid out in a specific order. His fingers touched a pretty set of what most people would think were earrings, but she knew were meant for other parts of her body. “You said that and then only gave me a few minutes to run.”
She quickly pulled her bra off because it wasn’t cheap, and it was surprisingly comfortable.
“You have to make choices in life,” he replied. “Get out of the pants now, and then I want your arms behind your back.”
There was no give in the man’s words. She slid off the table, kicked off her shoes and dragged off her pants and undies before doing exactly as he asked. He needed some control, and it was hers to give him. That was the exchange. Control for pleasure.
At least that was the exchange here. In their normal lives it would be so much more. They would exchange vows. They would give of themselves to try to ensure the other’s happiness.
Her days would be better because she shared them with him. No matter how many they had left.
She gripped her wrists behind her back, a position that forced her breasts out.
Jared stood in front of h
er, staring down at her chest. “Tell me you’re mine.”
She’d done a number on him. “I’m yours.”
She was through fighting. Hadn’t she learned that sometimes submitting could be the sweetest thing she could do? Sometimes when she gave in, she got the most out. She was submitting to this man, giving over her heart and trusting him not to break it.
He needed her, too. He needed her to be his safe place.
He fell to his knees and cupped her right breast. She held her breath as he molded her to his hand and then leaned forward to capture her nipple between his lips. Pure arousal shot through her. She felt the tiny sting as he nipped at her, but it only heightened her need. He tongued her, moving back and forth between her breasts. She did her best to stay still, to give him what he wanted. After a few moments’ torture, the real fun began as he slipped the jeweled clamp on her right nipple, and then the left. The set was connected with a thin chain that hung below her breasts when he was done. She let the pain sink into her skin as he tightened the clamps. Heat rushed through her and she could feel her body getting soft and warm for him.
He sat back on his heels, staring at his work. He tugged gently on the chain that connected her breasts to each other and seemed satisfied with the way she gasped and squirmed.
“That’s better.” A single finger ran down the line of her body, from the valley of her breasts over her belly and down to her pussy. “Are you getting wet for me?”
“Yes.”
“I have to test it because you’ve been known to lie.”
“I didn’t lie, Jared. I just didn’t tell you everything.”
He slid a single finger over her clitoris, just enough to make her take a deep breath, to let him know how desperate she was starting to get. “I need you to understand that not telling me something incredibly important is tantamount to lying to me, and I won’t put up with it.”
That finger slid over her pussy, proving how slick she was. Being here with him was making her hot. If he rubbed her for even a few seconds she might be able to start the afternoon right. A spanking would be so much easier to take if she’d recently had an orgasm.
He pulled his hand away, bringing his fingers to his lips. He stared at her as he licked his fingers clean. The man knew exactly how to get to her. Watching him taste her made her think about what he could do when he put his mouth on her pussy and ate his fill.
“You weren’t lying about this at least.” He pulled a chair to the center of the little space and sat himself down, patting his lap. “Unfortunately, we need to get the punishment portion of this scene over with.”
Damn it. She’d hoped he would forget about that part. Still, it wasn’t like she didn’t enjoy a spanking.
“Put yourself over my lap in ten seconds or I’ll double the punishment. You know what your safe word is. You’ve used it so recently.”
Okay, maybe she shouldn’t have used it that way. She hurried to lay herself over his lap. The clamps bounced and caused her to hiss at the stinging pain. He’d known exactly what he was doing, and she was deeply grateful she’d managed to avoid the figging he’d threatened her with.
“Count it out for me.”
Before she could respond to him, his hand came down on her ass and she had to hold on to his ankles. He hadn’t held back and the man worked out. He’d already proven his upper body strength. Did he have to do it again?
“I need a count, Sarah.”
Bastard. “One.”
He slapped her ass again.
“Two.” She gritted her teeth and tried to relax.
“You will never keep something like that from me again.” He slapped her ass another five times, pausing to let her count each time.
He didn’t wait for her to respond, merely went right back to his work.
She found a rhythm to his torture. Pain and heat, and then it sank into her skin, her muscles giving in and relaxing. Only to start over again. She counted each smack of his hand. He spread them out, peppering her ass with heat and sensation.
Around thirty she sagged against him.
He stopped, his hand smoothing over her skin. It was likely nice and pink.
“I’m okay, Master. Not even thinking about using a safe word.” She might never use it again. “You can finish.”
This smack jarred her. “I will finish when I decide to finish, brat.”
She went still. She wasn’t usually this bratty in the middle of a scene. She stroked his leg. He was still on the edge and would be for a while. It was odd how calm she felt about the surgery knowing Jared would be there. His anxiety seemed to have quelled her own.
“You’re so beautiful.” His fingers brushed against her skin. “Your ass looks good pink, brat. I think it will be that way a lot.”
She rubbed her cheek against his leg. “Probably.”
“And this didn’t bother you at all, did it?” He smacked her ass, a lighter touch this time, as though he was coming down, too.
“No. I enjoyed it. I’m afraid if you’re really going to punish me, you’ll have to make me sit in a corner and not talk. That would bother me. This mostly makes me want to have wicked sex with you, but I’ll be honest, most things do that.”
He chuckled, running his hand over her skin. “Is that true? I think I can handle that. And I’m going to hold my last nine strokes for a later date. If I can’t truly punish you, then I’ll reward myself. Get on your knees, my love.”
He shifted her off his lap and she found herself on her knees between his legs, staring at the place where his cock pressed against his jeans.
Oh, yes. She could do that.
* * * *
Jared wasn’t sure he would survive this experience. Sarah reached out and gently started to open the fly of his jeans. He wanted to do it himself and then shove her head toward his cock, but he was determined to prove he had some restraint.
He’d never had to prove it before her. He was always in control when it came to sex. Control was a necessary part of the pleasure, but with Sarah sex was a wildfire that threatened to consume them both. He wanted to take his time with her. His sub. His wife.
She was going to be his wife.
God, he couldn’t lose her.
“Stay with me.” Sarah stared up at him as though she could read his mind. “I want to be alone with you. I don’t want it in here.”
It. The surgery. The chance that she might have cancer. It threatened to swallow him up, but he had to be stronger than that today. He had to concentrate on her. “Then you should take my mind off it. You should make sure I can’t think about anything but the way your mouth feels on my cock. Do you think you can do that?”
She smiled up at him. “I think I can, Master.”
She eased the fly of his jeans apart, and he had to take a deep breath when her soft hand brushed his cock. His whole body tightened.
He hadn’t scared her at all. He knew he’d been rough on her, but he’d needed to know exactly how she liked to play. And he’d needed her to submit to him today. Tomorrow would be another story. Tomorrow he would get on his knees for her, but today, he needed this.
And that was what their marriage would be like, each gracefully bending to be what the other needed.
What he needed right now was her mouth on his cock. He needed to spend the next couple of days naked against her, curled up beside her when he wasn’t inside her.
She took his cock in hand and then he wasn’t thinking about the future or the past. There was nothing at all but how she could make him feel.
“Grip me harder.”
She tightened that perfectly manicured hand around his cock. Her nails were always some pretty color. He adored that about her. Now he watched as those pink-tipped hands stroked him right before she leaned over and dragged her tongue over the head of his dick.
His eyes nearly rolled to the back of his head. She lavished his cock with affection, playing with him like he was her favorite toy. He knew he should be more in control, but he was
far too busy watching her, watching the way his cock disappeared behind her sultry lips, how her tongue curled around him and darted out to lap up the bead of arousal that pulsed from the slit.
All the while her hand stroked him, squeezing him the way her pussy was going to when he got inside her. She would be so tight he wouldn’t be able to breathe, wouldn’t be able to do anything except pump himself inside her.
He hissed when her teeth scraped lightly over him and he knew he wasn’t going to last long. He didn’t want to come in her mouth. There would be more than enough time for that later. Later he would come all over her, but this first time since the moment they’d promised to be together, this time he wanted her with him.
He wound his hands in her hair. He fucking loved her hair. He would love waking up tangled in that gorgeous hair. He tugged on it and her gaze drifted up, pure mischief in her eyes.
Such a brat. “Take me deep but stop when I tell you to. Follow my lead.”
He controlled her movements with her hair, shoving his cock deep into her mouth while he pulled her close. She gave up stroking him and her hands found his thighs, holding on and giving her balance. If he hadn’t left his jeans on, those nails would be sinking into his skin and he would have loved that. He would be proud to wear the marks of her passion, to feel that tiny ache the next day.
She took him deep, enclosing him in soft heat.
It was all he could take. He tugged on her hair and she sat back. She was so stunningly gorgeous with her breasts bejeweled, her nipples like ripe raspberries. Thank god she was a masochist because he had a bit of the sadist in him. He was looking forward to the way she would squirm when he took them off. But first…
He stood in front of her and tugged his shirt over his head. “Take my jeans off.”
She reached up and helped tug his jeans down his thighs. Her head brushed against his cock, letting it rub over her cheek. It was a sweet gesture in the middle of sex and a sure sign that he was with the right woman. He needed her affection as much as he did her submission.
“Come up here.” He stepped out of his jeans and reached out to help her up. He pulled her body against his, skin to skin. Where he wanted to be always. “I love you. I love you, Sarah Stevens. I want to be with you no matter what happens.”