By now, when Mack tried to push her away, Xanthe took it for the cry it really was. Instead of leaving or taking him seriously, she stood her ground and laughed. By now she almost knew the signs of his breakdowns and how long they generally lasted. The withdrawn, unresponsive to motivation or encouragement. Possibly triggered by media reports about troops fighting overseas. Other times it could be a change in weather that increased his pain, or because he wanted to walk outside in the sunshine or pick up something from the floor. It could be as simple as the nurse taking five minutes to respond to the buzzer or Xanthe being caught up with another patient.
Anything that was outside his control.
The withdrawn sulks would lead back into depression with perhaps a side track towards anger.
Knowing the signs didn’t help his support crew avert his attention. Occasionally, Xanthe would get a call away from her other patients to try and snap him out of his funk, or like today, get him to redirect it at her. She could take it. Heavens knew, when she snapped out of frustration or fear, it was directed at him.
“You’re like an old married couple the way you bicker,” Charli heard their shouting and popped her head in. “When’s he gonna put a rock on your finger and make it official?”
“We’re nowhere near that yet. First he needs to get out of here and into the rehab facility.” Xanthe shrugged at Mack. “But he has to stop acting like a baby and finish his exercises.”
“Well get back to work, Mack.” Charli laughed. “I mean think about getting out of here, a lot more privacy for you guys, although maybe you like the thrill of being caught.”
“Char!” Mack tried to silence her.
“Don’t try to shush me, I’ve always wondered, did you ever … you know, here?”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but no. If we got caught it would be my job for sure.” Xanthe said at the same time Mack reached for her.
“There’s no way I’d do anything to jeopardize her. Everyone’s been great at giving us space and stuff, but we are counting down the days until I escape to make this legit.”
“So he hasn’t even shown you his monkey, yet?”
“No and I’m going crazy feeling like I’m the only female on this base that hasn’t! Like how impressive can it be if it can be hidden under a singlet!”
“Don’t worry, Xanth,” Charli hugged her and looked over at Mack who had gotten over his black mood, “It’s worth it and he’s worth it. I heard the admin arranging transport papers to get him out today, so tonight could be the night!”
“Only if he passes his final tests and that means he’s got to put some effort in!” Xanthe threw a pillow at Mack. “If you love me, you’d do the work to get out of here. I’m one horny woman and I can’t wait for you forever!”
“That’s not what you told me last night,” she couldn’t help it, falling into his arms was still the best feeling of all, other than his panty-stripping kisses.
Mack
He lay down, exhausted while Xanthe left them to get a coffee.
The locomotor training had his body suspended in a harness with one of the physios or occupational therapists at his side helping his legs through stepping motions.
Having given everything in the name of getting a medical release out of hospital and into the Defence rehab facility, he didn’t know what he’d do if they turned him down. Like they did each month for the past four. One more test, always another impossible goalpost to reach or mountain for he and Xanthe to climb just to be able to do the thing he used to take for granted.
He wanted desperately to be able to lie in bed with his beautiful woman and claim her.
Mack knew he’d been a prick to Xanthe all day, actually he’d been impossible to deal with all week. After insisting that Dean push him until there would be no doubt in him passing the medical and independent tests, the man other wise known as “son of a bitch” took him at his word. Each night, his muscles cried out for mercy but as he and Xanthe started ticking off all the milestones, he could see the light at the end of the tunnel.
If only he could walk down and turn the bloody thing on himself.
This time, Xanthe returned with more than just coffee.
“I didn’t expect this sort of turn out. Lieutenant Mackenzie are you sure you want an audience of this size.” Dr Hunter addressed not only Mack but the assembled crowd in his room. “I mean, all I’m going to do is confirm the paperwork has come through posting you to the Soldier Recovery Centre in Brisbane.”
Screams from the nursing staff, loud whistles and high fives from the physios and all the damn “Son of a Bitch” that pushed him until he broke and then pushed him some more.
All for this moment.
Mack heard Xanthe inhale at his side. They had hoped for discharge from hospital but didn’t expect to be separated. Not by almost fifteen-hundred kilometres.
“Mack, that’s wonderful, congratulations,” only he heard the catch in her voice. They’d fought so hard and now it was about to get tougher. He might be getting out of hospital but the challenge of his injury, no he could almost say the word “disability”, was now going to be further complicated by distance – and he still couldn’t drive.
Still, her happiness for him was genuine and he as stroked her hair inhaling the coconut shampoo that he loved, Mack promised himself that he’d figure out a way to make it work.
“Doc, is there any way I can stay local?” He didn’t care if it wasn’t the best long term option as long as they didn’t get separated.
“I don’t think your girlfriend would want that,” Dr Hunter smiled as they feigned innocence. “Come on, I respect that you’ve never put me in an uncomfortable position by extending the nature of your ‘sleep overs’ and there isn’t one person here who isn’t wanting to keep you two together. That’s one of the reasons it’s taken so long to get you discharged. We were waiting for either Miss Davies to come to her senses and realize there are far more deserving patients for her special attention, or for this to come through.”
Mack grabbed the paper before Xanthe had a chance. He didn’t want to give up his opportunity for recovery, but he couldn’t imagine recovery without her by his side.
“What’s this?” before Xanthe took it off him.
“Brisbane, as a visiting medical officer? I’m not a doctor, I’m an occupational therapist.”
“I don’t know the technical, but if you are employed down there as a VMO then because you’re on contract there’s less rules about dating a patient of the facility. Mack won’t be your patient but he will be a patient and you will have a job.”
“Guess we’re moving in together, babe,” Mack tried not to see the apprehension, her clenched teeth and forced smile. Surely, this is what she wanted, to be together.
“Actually, you will be living at the facility and Xanthe will need to find her own accommodation.”
“Thank you,” Mack hated that the doctor could respond to her swinging hug and hand her off to all her friends and even some of his unit who had dropped by for the announcement.
“It’s after noon, so break ‘em open,” called Scout, dragging in a trolley full of cold beer with a few sodas.
Mack accepted the first cold one with the doctor’s nod. This was a bloody miracle.
Xanthe
Standing off to the side, Xanthe tried to take it all in.
Months of working towards and praying for this moment, and it happened so quickly.
Hospital discharge within the hour.
New job that she hadn’t even applied for.
Moving to Brisbane where her life would be forever tied to Mack. What if they didn’t work out and the darkness and depression that overwhelmed him became a constant part of their life. She didn’t want a life of him pushing her away only to force her to prove that she wouldn’t let him.
“You okay?” Dr Hunter offered her a drink. “I assumed you wanted this.”
“I do, I think,” she had held back and even skirted
around the truth before but never outright lied to her boss. “It’s a lot to take in, but I really like it here on base. This is the job I wanted to do even before I met Mack.”
“Xanthe, look at the paperwork. Because you’re a civilian, we’ve had to do things a little differently. You’ll take a leave of absence from here and I think under the circumstances and if you need some time, we can ask for at least a couple of weeks to hand over your patients. Career wise, Brisbane is a great opportunity and if at any time if it doesn’t work out, you let me know and I’ll find a reason to cancel your leave and summons you back here. That way it truly isn’t you, it’s me.”
“Does Charli know how lucky she is?” she hugged him again.
“I’ll let you in on a secret, I really hated your boyfriend. He didn’t realize how many women were in love with him and so he didn’t care when Charli never got over whatever they had. Mack breezed into their lives and walked out not even thinking about the carnage left behind.”
“You never acted as if you hated him.”
“That’s because once you came along, firstly you hid the whole knowing him well. But every woman here knew they didn’t stand a chance. The way he looked at you was if his sun rose and set on your command. It was only going to be a matter of time before Charli opened her eyes to see who was right in front of her.”
“Oh, Alan, she knows how lucky she is and even if she hasn’t said it, Charli loves you.”
“Yeah, and as soon as I get Mack and his stupid monkey out of my hospital, I intend on asking if she wants to make it permanent.”
“Don’t,” Xanthe held his arm. “Don’t do it because of Mack. You’ll never know if she said ‘yes’ because of him or because she loves you. Ask her tonight, or even this afternoon. Hell, ask her now.”
“What if she turns me down?”
“What if she says, ‘yes’.”
“Xanth, I’m going to miss you.” Xanthe didn’t want the hug to end.
If only Charli could see the man who loved her, then again she was struggling with the same challenges. Was she really strong enough to take on Mack and what lay ahead? She thought back to all their texts before his accident, thousands of snippets into his soul saved forever on her phone. Two strong-willed and independent people coming together was never going to be easy, why should a wheelchair make any difference?
On the off chance they could make it work, she knew Mack would be worth it.
“So, Xanthe what’s the first thing you’re going to do now he’s been released?” Jodi asked, Scout’s arm comfortably around her.
It was as if they could read her thoughts, the blush started at her toes but when it reached her face, the room started laughing.
“The unit has a surprise for you two.” Reith opened Mack’s cupboard and started stuffing all his gear into a duffel bag while Scout released Jodi long enough to go into the corridor and bring in a wheelchair covered in army camo.
“Come ‘ere, babe,” Xanthe found her spot on the side of his bed. Close enough not to accidently sit on the legs he couldn’t feel, but still able to have his arm around her waist. If it was night, all she’d have to do was swing her legs around and sleep in his arms.
“We figured your first time, at least as a legitimate couple, deserves an army escort. Figuring that there is no way Xanthe’s car would fit your wheelchair, we’ve organized a couple of guys to follow you to Xanthe’s place and make sure you get settled in.” Reith zipped up the bag and threw it to Scout.
“The second part of the surprise should be no surprise. Apparently you are such a shit-house patient that the hospital couldn’t wait to get rid of you. To make sure you don’t come back, all the paperwork was fast tracked to get you your own wheelchair.”
Xanthe watched as Mack refused all help, lowering the bed, putting the board in place and transferring his frame to the chair. They had been practicing for weeks and still it was fifty-fifty whether he’d need her help. As soon as he landed in his own set of wheels, he was acting like the Mack of old, dangerously wheeling around the crowded room to the cheers and squeals of the staff who were now friends.
“Guys, how did you get it, I got told it was stuck in Sydney for another week or so.”
“Rip knew a guy who knew another guy who picked it up and delivered it a couple of hours ago.”
Xanthe didn’t expect to see tough, army guys so emotional saying good bye to one of their own. When Captain Greenwood arrived to escort his man to the waiting jeep, it all got serious. He was really leaving his unit.
Her fingernails cut into her palm as she tried to hide her growing anxiety. Nervous about how Mack would be able to maneuver around her bedsit, what would they have to talk about now he was out of hospital. What if they tried and he couldn’t, perform? She could only imagine his frustration and anger and there would be nowhere for her to get some space.
Still, there wasn’t a dry eye when Rip lead the call, “Rule one.”
“Reapers come,” the unit, including Mack shouted in reply.
“Rule two.”
Xanthe felt the love between these men as they formed arms around shoulders before the reply, “Reapers see.”
“Rule three!”
“REAPERS conquer.” Everyone in the hospital would have heard the cry.
“And don’t forget,” he paused for them all to join in, “We never leave a Reaper behind.”
Mack
He hated being a fucking invalid.
Pretending that it was okay to rely on his unit to carry him from Xanthe’s car to inside her apartment. Plonking him done on her bed as if it was some great big joke. Doing him a favor – after all wasn’t that he’d been wanting to do, be in her bed anyway?
Effective tomorrow, it wasn’t his unit anymore.
By some strange accident of paperwork, it would be three days before his transport to Brisbane would be organized, and Xanthe had three days of forced leave in lieu of overtime.
He needed to stop the hate from churning in his gut and threatening to ruin what little fucking happiness he still had. Seriously, he doubted she ever wanted to move to Brisbane, especially not with him. Why would she want to be shackled to some ex-army loser?
Jealousy had always been his worse trait and it was growing rapidly with all the thoughts of what Xanthe could be doing, or thinking and about whom. What was she doing outside with the guys, surely it didn’t take this long to say a quick thanks and see you ‘round.
If only someone had thought to leave his chair on the door side of the bed so he could at least get in it and see what was keeping her so long. Again, for the millionth time today, he hated being a dependent, half-man invalid.
The front door slammed shut but before he could get her attention, Xanthe locked herself in the bathroom. All he could do was stare at the room he’d only been in once before. He couldn’t even get to the television controls sitting half a room away on a table.
He hated his life.
What was the fucking point of living when this was the best it would ever be.
Then the door opened and he found his reason.
Xanthe, in a gold, almost nude kimeno falling just below her knees. The soft ruffle around the edges framed her gorgeous face, and he could only see the front being held together by a single tie. He could manage that.
She had gone heavy on her eye makeup, her long lashes batting their way across the room to their bed. Her tight bun relaxed into a long ponytail.
“Out or in?” she pulled at the hair strap threatening to free her soft locks.
Ordinarily he’d want her hair free-flowing and caressing his body with every arch of her passion. Tonight, the last thing he needed was for her hair to get caught up in his legs or anything to remind them both he was less than worthy.
“In.”
For months, he couldn’t predict when his erection would surface and when it would leave him hanging. He could sleep for nights with Xanthe in his arms and get nothing, but one would magically appear
when he was watching the news.
The sight of her dressed for him, had done the job.
“Do you mind?” she offered him a glass of wine.
He was already regretting the two beers with the boys and shook his head, “Enjoy, have one for me.”
She stood where her kitchen met her living area and bedroom, nervously sipping her wine. The awkwardness between them of the first night returned, only this time there would be no recall to hospital. It was now or never, and they’d always remember if he botched their first time.
Fuck. No fucking pressure.
His body didn’t perform well under pressure, anymore. He needed to lighten the mood, patting the empty side of the bed, “Now where were we? I’m pretty sure we had a whole discussion about what it would take to get you into bed.”
Xanthe laughed and ignoring all the space, slowly crawled from the base of the bed up his body to kiss him. “I’m pretty sure I asked you to give me a reason.”
“Well, babe, the reason hasn’t changed,” if she didn’t stop kissing him, it wouldn’t be just his legs that couldn’t be controlled.
“I can’t remember what your answer was,” he didn’t need any help in getting hard, not when she started nuzzling his neck and the front of her kimino threatened to gape open.
“I told you that you’re the only woman I want to ever see my monkey.”
“Well, I’m sure some of the nurses who bathed you have seen it since then. You should have let me.”
“Think of how special right now is. I get to do the whole unveiling.”
“Why do I think it’s been a huge beat up?”
“Baby, you can beat me any time,” he tried to smile, “But if you beat me below the waist, I won’t feel it.”
“Then how about I play with what you can feel.”
He groaned as she bit his nipple through the black hemp, unbuttoning his shirt and pushing it aside. Her finger tips played with the bottom of his singlet, pulling it up a couple of centimeters and then dropping it back down to kiss him again.
Protect Her (Aussie Military Romance Book 2) Page 8