He turned away, but not before she saw the raw sorrow in his eyes. His pain scratched across her heart. “I’m sorry. But the chances of anything happening again…”
“Are too great.”
Now she understood his protective attitude toward his children. Matt stared at her a long moment, then stood, slipping his hands into his pockets. “I appreciate what you did today, helping Cassidy with supper and all. Just don’t encourage her to look older and more sophisticated. She a little girl. I’d like to keep her that way as long as I can.”
Her heart ached for him. He was guarding his family the only way he knew how. By being their protector. “All right.”
Picking up her belongings she walked out, grateful that it was the weekend. She needed some distance from Matt and his kids.
*
Matt scooped up his son’s dirty clothes from the bathroom floor and tossed them into the hamper. “Go get in bed. I’ll be right in.”
“Okay.” Kenny dashed off to his room.
Matt headed down the hall, glancing into Cassidy’s room. She’d decorated it herself, with his help. The walls were painted in pink, aqua and blue horizontal stripes. Gauzy fabric draped down from above the headboard. A pink fuzzy lamp and a purple futon finished the decor. It was garish and tacky and completely girly. Cassidy loved it.
He doubted Katie would have approved. She had favored elegant, traditional furnishings and decor. Matt had only wanted to make his little girl happy. Stepping inside the room, he smiled at the sight of his daughter stretched out on her bed, ankles crossed in the air as she watched her favorite television program. “As soon as this is over, lights out, young lady. Understood?”
She nodded absently. “Yes, sir.”
He moved to the bed and touched the top of her head. “That was a great meal tonight. I’m proud of you.” Her dazzling smile melted his heart.
“Thanks, Daddy. I’m going to learn to cook more things so I can have your supper ready when you get home.”
“That’s sweet, but concentrate on being a kid first. Worry about my stomach later.”
“Love you, Daddy.”
“Love you.”
Kenny was playing with Chester on the bed when Matt entered his room. His son’s room was another matter. The boy was fascinated by reptiles and critters. He loved trees and the woods and would spend every moment there if he could. “What story are we going to read tonight?”
“The slingshot and the giant.”
Matt smiled. He was pleased his son enjoyed the Bible stories. In the years after Katie’s death they had drifted away from church attendance. It had been one of the things he was determined to change now that they were back home. He wanted his kids to grow up in the faith. He was ashamed that he’d allowed them all to backslide.
Matt finished the story then leaned down to kiss the boy’s cheek. “Sleep well, sport.”
“Daddy, can I watch Insect Man for a while? It’s the weekend.”
The cartoon superhero who could turn into any bug he wanted was his son’s favorite. “I guess so.”
Matt stood, signaling to Chester to follow. “See you in the morning.” Matt shut the door and started down the stairs. The moment he entered the kitchen he stopped cold, bombarded by images from his unusual homecoming.
Walking into his home this evening had been surreal. The air had been heavy with delicious aromas, the atmosphere warm and welcoming. His children had scurried about the kitchen smiling and laughing. The scene had wrapped around his soul and filled him with such a longing he’d nearly buckled under the weight of it. For the first time since he’d moved back to Dover, this house felt like a home. He’d tried his best to make the place warm, cozy, a safe haven. But tonight it had been real.
And he had Shelby to thank for that. Cassidy and Shelby both had insisted the meal was his daughter’s idea. He didn’t doubt that, but Shelby had supervised and given all the credit to Cassidy. The pride and joy revealed in Shelby’s face had captivated him. She had been genuinely delighted at his little girl’s accomplishments. Matt poured a glass of tea, glancing out the window to the house next door.
He’d seen the friendship growing between his children and Shelby. He didn’t want her to be friends with his kids. Yet her presence was firmly implanted in the space. Like she’d claimed it. He wasn’t sure he liked that.
But he wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Chapter Four
Shelby awoke the next morning well rested and feeling like her old self. She and Gramma had settled in on the sofa and talked. Gramma must have sensed her reluctance to discuss Matt and instead had caught her up on all the changes that had taken place in Dover since she’d left.
But memories of the family dinner at Matt’s still played in the back of her mind. It had been a roller-coaster evening emotionally. First joy at Cassidy’s success, regret over the enhanced picture and sadness as she listened to Matt speak of his wife and vow never to risk his heart and lose another woman he loved. She could only imagine how difficult that had been for him.
She pulled her hair up into a ponytail, then moved to the dresser and reached for her pills. The bottles were nearly empty. What would Matt do if he knew about her heart disease? If she didn’t get control of her health, she was flirting with serious consequences, even death. Matt would probably forbid her to be around the kids at all. It would have become his worst nightmare—allowing his kids to bond with a woman who could die unexpectedly.
She loved being with Cassidy and Kenny. Being denied their company would break her heart and take a large measure of enjoyment out of her life. Better for everyone that she keep her health issues to herself.
Last night had helped her turn a corner. Her future still weighed heavily on her mind, but being home again, around Gramma and the kids, gave her renewed hope and a sense of belonging she’d been lacking. For all her busyness in New York, she’d always felt alone. Her work had consumed all her time, thought and energy, leaving her with few friends and no social life. Not even church. She hadn’t realized until now how one-dimensional her existence had become.
But today was a new day. The weekend. She didn’t have to worry about Matt or his children until Monday. Today she would focus on her health and start exercising. Shelby groaned. Of all the things she hated to do, exercising was at the top of the list. Right behind giving up regular coffee and sweets. She’d never been very athletic. The only time she’d enjoyed outdoor activities was when she and Matt—better not think about that.
Gathering her sagging determination, Shelby reviewed her plan. She’d start with a five-mile jog around Shiloh Lake outside of town. If she increased it a mile each day, by the end of the week she would be up to ten miles. That should get her back in shape quickly. Encouraged, she finished dressing, grabbing up her iPod and earbuds before hurrying downstairs.
Ellen was at the sink, and she raised her eyebrows as she scanned her from head to toe. “Well, what are you dressed for?”
Shelby poured a cup of coffee, doctored it with skim milk and a packet of artificial sweetener and took a sip. It was still awful. “I’m starting my exercise today.”
Gramma nodded slowly. “Good. But don’t overdo it. I know you. You’ll want to start out with a ten-mile jog.”
Shelby nearly choked on her coffee. When would she remember that Gramma could always read her like a book? “I was thinking more like five miles.”
Ellen shook her head. “Honestly. I don’t know what it is about this family that makes them think everything has to be done quickly. There is nothing wrong with taking life slow.” She rinsed out her coffee mug and set it in the drainer. “Start with a leisurely stroll into town or walk the trails in the park. Each day you increase the distance and the pace until you’re stronger. Then you can graduate to running like a track star.”
Shelby smiled. “That takes too long.”
Gramma crossed her arms over her chest. “This isn’t a deadline you have to meet. This is your life.”
Deadline. That’s exactly how she’d been thinking of it. She’d given herself six weeks to learn to relax so she could get back to work. Probably not the best approach for someone in her condition. “Okay, how about a walk then. Slow and steady, like a turtle.”
Gramma smiled. “Better. You could start with the trails out back. There’s a shortcut at the tree line. But first, I’ve fixed you a healthy breakfast. Come and eat.”
*
Shelby stepped onto the front porch, inhaling the heady scent of sweet olive that grew at the side of the house. The slight breeze also carried a hint of fall. Her favorite time of year, when the scorching heat of August was replaced with the balmier temps of September. She’d always been eager for school to start even though she hadn’t fit in with most of the other kids. She’d felt at home in the classroom, studying and learning. Then at the end of each day, she’d hurry to Gramma’s to sit in the sunroom or the porch swing and read magazines and eat cookies. It was a beautiful day, and she would try and think only beautiful thoughts. A walk was the perfect solution to her stress.
She started toward the back of the house, past the old garage, trying to remember what Gramma had told her about the shortcut to the trails that would save her the two-block walk to the main entrance. Friendship Park was a new addition to Dover. Once known as the Burton Farm, the city had purchased the land and turned it into a community park, complete with picnic areas, playground and hiking trails. She’d assured Shelby she couldn’t miss the shortcut through the trees. She’d obviously forgotten her granddaughter’s lack of experience with the outdoors.
“Miss Shelby. Where ya going?”
Shelby turned to see Kenny Durrant running toward her, Chester on his heels.
“I’m going for a walk.”
“Are you going to the trails?”
She nodded. “My gramma said it was a good place to walk.”
“It’s cool. My daddy and I walk there lots of times. I could show you the way.” Kenny beamed with excitement.
“That would be nice. But you’d better check with your father first.” She glanced back at the garage behind Matt’s house. A large SUV was parked in front of it today. Neither the rickety van nor the battered truck were anywhere to be seen.
“Okay, I’ll be right back.” Kenny darted off, his little legs pumping furiously. Shelby waited, even though she knew there was no way Matt would allow his son to go with her. Especially after the photo incident last night. Kenny returned a few minutes later, his face flushed with excitement.
“What did your daddy say?”
“He said ’kay.”
Shelby hesitated for a stunned second, glancing at the house, then back at Kenny. Maybe she’d misjudged Matt’s attitude last night. Apparently he wasn’t so angry that he would refuse to let Kenny go with her. That had to be a good sign. She shrugged. “Great. Let’s get going then. Where’s the shortcut?”
“I’ll show you. It’s way back there at the end of our yard.” Chester took off ahead, apparently knowing the way.
Buoyed by the thought of having a companion on her first walk, she started off at a brisk pace.
“Hey! Hey!”
Shelby stopped and turned around. Kenny was several yards behind her, his short legs pumping to keep up.
“You walk too fast.”
She hadn’t realized she’d been moving so quickly. She’d have to watch that. She was used to doing everything at breakneck speed. Yet another life change she’d have to adjust to. “Sorry, Kenny. I’ll slow down.”
“Good, ’cause then I can show you the cool stuff.”
He was an energetic child, alternately skipping and running, sometimes stopping abruptly. She found it difficult to walk in rhythm with the little boy’s stride.
“We’re here.” Kenny stopped near the tree line, smiling broadly.
Shelby frowned at the wide opening between the trees and shrubs. It looked well traveled, but she didn’t relish the idea of walking into the wilderness. “Are you sure?” She turned back to the twin houses positioned at the front of the large lots. They looked far off. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea after all.
Kenny waved her on. “Come on. It’s right through here.”
Shelby girded herself and followed. If a six-year-old could do it, so could she. Cautiously she stepped past the trees into the cool woods. She remembered these woods from when she was a child, but back then they’d been untamed and she’d braved them only once. Too many unknown sounds and movements had sent her racing back to the house.
“See,” Kenny shouted, pointing. “There they are.”
A few yards ahead stood a large wooden sign, the name of each trail and a corresponding map clearly engraved into the wood. Shelby quickly assessed the Camellia Trail as the longest. She started forward, but Kenny stopped her.
“This is my favorite one. You can trace the trail with your finger.” He stepped to the sign and placed his index finger in the indented line on the map of the Magnolia Trail and traced the path. “First you go here, then you go up here, and then across here and down here, and then up here, and then down here again, and you’re home.” He smiled at her, pleased with himself.
His bright eyes and dazzling smile were infectious. She could see the resemblance to his mother in his coloring and green eyes and dimples. Cassidy favored Matt with her dark blue eyes and brown hair.
“Let’s go. Come on, Chester.”
They started down the Magnolia Trail. Kenny skipped ahead, Chester at his side. “Don’t get too far ahead, Kenny.” The gravity of being responsible for Matt’s son suddenly struck her. She’d failed to consider the seriousness of taking the boy along. What had she been thinking? What if she lost him? What if something happened to him? How would she explain it to Matt? She quickly realized there was no need to worry. Kenny stopped every few steps to point out a special tree, to show her a log or to toss a rock into the shallow stream running parallel to the trail. At this rate it would take them all day to walk the half-mile trail. Kenny’s preoccupation with nature would keep him close, but it was holding her back.
“Why do you run so fast?”
Shelby stopped and turned to find Kenny several yards behind her again. She hadn’t realized she’d passed him. “I wasn’t running. I was walking.”
“Oh.” Kenny frowned.
“We’d better get going. We’ve barely started our walk.”
“Look, it’s my favorite spot.” He ran toward a bench at the edge of the creek. “Come on.”
Kenny sat down. Shelby inhaled slowly, trying to quell her impatience. She sat, then glanced around. Trees. Water. Rocks. More trees. “This is nice, Kenny. Come on, we’d better go.”
“No. You have to wait until the frogs come. Chester finds them and makes them ribbett.”
Kenny sat patiently. Watching. Shelby tapped her toe. “Guess no frogs today.” She stood. “We need to get to the end of the trail.”
“Why?”
His question caught her off guard. “Because we’re on a walk and we need to get to the end.”
“That’s no fun.”
“Well, it’s not about fun. It’s about exercise. That’s the whole point. I can think of a lot of things that are more fun than this. I’ll bet you can, too.”
Kenny shook his head, his expression serious. “No. Walking’s not the fun part. The fun part is the looking.”
She doubted that. She’d found nothing in these woods worth noting. It was merely a place to start walking, a means to work her way up to a longer, more strenuous level. Maybe she’d get a pedometer, then she could keep track of how much she increased her steps each day. Her little companion continued to stare at the creek. Perhaps a different tack would budge him. “We don’t want to take too long or your dad will get worried.”
Kenny hung his head and stopped swinging his feet. A sense of unease touched her nerves. He looked over his shoulder at her with a guilty expression. “I didn’t tell Daddy.”
; “What!” This couldn’t be happening. She put a hand across her mouth. The possible ramifications settled in her stomach like a stone. “Oh, Kenny. You told me he said it was okay.”
“He was working and told me to wait a minute, but I was afraid you’d go without me.”
“Kenny, you know that telling fibs is wrong.”
“I know.” Green eyes welled up with tears. “Is Jesus mad at me?”
“What?” Why did his every question throw her a curve? And how did she answer that one? “Uh, no. He’s not mad. He’s disappointed like I am and your dad will be, but none of us are mad.” She thought back to a time when what Jesus thought of her mattered. “Jesus loves you.”
Kenny came to her side and took her hand. “My mommy is with Jesus.”
Shelby bit her lip against the stab of sadness in her heart. “I know, Kenny. Come on. We’d better hurry back.” Thankfully, they hadn’t traveled too far down the trail before Kenny had dropped his bombshell. They started back at a steady clip. Kenny kept pace, holding her hand the whole way.
She heard Matt calling for Kenny as they stepped through the trees at the property line. She could see him up near the house, jogging in different directions, searching for the boy. His body language told her how worried he was. Matt would be furious. How could she have let this happen? “Kenny, you run ahead and let your daddy see you’re all right. I’ll come and explain to him what happened.”
Kenny nodded and ran ahead across the large lawn. “Here I am, Daddy.”
Shelby hung back, walking slowly, watching as Matt jogged toward his son, grabbing him in a tight hug, his relief evident in the way he held him close to his chest for a long moment. His anger quickly became apparent when he set the boy down, his large hands gripping little shoulders, obviously demanding an explanation.
Shelby was glad for the vast yard between them. She didn’t want to hear Kenny being scolded even if it was his fault. By the time she crossed the distance from the woods to the house, Kenny was apologizing.
“I’m sorry, Daddy.”
“It’s my fault, Matt. I thought—”
Rekindled Romance Page 6