Matt took a menacing step toward her. “Did you think you could walk off with my son and not tell me?”
Shelby bristled. “That’s not how it happened.”
Matt planted his hands on his hips. “What were you thinking?”
“Daddy?”
Matt turned to his young son. “Go in the house. I’ll be there in a minute.”
“But Daddy…”
“Kenny. Do as I say.”
Shelby’s heart ached for the child. “Matt, don’t blame him. He was—”
“I don’t blame him. You should have known better. I guess I should be grateful you didn’t run off and leave him in the woods alone. That’s your usual response, isn’t it? Change your mind and walk away?”
Shelby braced herself against his harsh words. He had every right to be angry at her for her actions fifteen years ago, but not where Kenny was concerned. “That’s not fair. I would never leave Kenny alone. You have no right to even suggest such a thing.”
Matt glared. “I have every right. He’s my son.”
Shelby tried to control her rising anger. She had to remember Matt was reacting out of fear and a lack of information. She couldn’t imagine what he must have gone through when he discovered Kenny missing. “If you’ll only calm down and let me explain, you might—”
“Since when do you bother to explain anything, Shelby? That’s not your style.” Matt set his jaw and turned away.
Shelby grabbed his arm and forced him around to face her. “And you’re as bullheaded as ever. Do you want to hear what happened or not?”
“I know what happened.”
Shelby pursed her lips together to keep from saying something hateful. “No. You don’t. But when you decide you want to, you know where to find me.” She turned on her heel and walked off. The chasm between them was as wide and as deep as ever.
The realization broke her heart.
*
Matt watched Shelby leave, regretting his harsh words. He hadn’t meant to lash out at her that way, but something had come over him. Years of pent-up anger and resentment had erupted from deep inside, blindsiding him with their intensity.
He ran a hand down the back of his neck and turned back to the house. He’d been on the verge of panic, wondering where Kenny had gone. If anything happened to his children— He couldn’t allow himself to think of those things. He’d never survive a loss like that.
It wasn’t unusual for his son to wander to the edge of their acre lot and not hear when he was called. He was an imaginative boy, and sometimes he didn’t pay attention, but he’d never gone to the trails by himself. He knew they were off-limits unless with an adult.
Kenny sat slumped in a chair at the table when Matt entered the kitchen. He looked so little. So vulnerable. His heart swelled with a love so intense it stole his breath. It helped temper his anger and fear at Kenny’s disappearance.
He sat down across the table from the boy, clasping his hands together on the surface. “So, you want to explain to me why you broke the rules and went to the trails without asking?”
Kenny looked up, his green eyes, so like his mother’s, filled with sadness. “I asked.”
Matt frowned. “I don’t remember you asking me.”
Kenny nodded. “You were at the computer and I asked if I could go with Miss Shelby to the woods.”
“I don’t remember that, son.”
“You were busy. You said to wait.”
Memory surfaced. He’d been completely absorbed in bookkeeping for Handy Works when Kenny had dashed into his home office. He should have paid closer attention. “So why didn’t you wait?”
Kenny shrugged. “She would have gone without me and I like the woods.”
“I know you do, but you were wrong to go without permission. And Miss Shelby shouldn’t have taken you with her without making sure I said it was okay.”
Tears filled Kenny’s eyes and trickled down his cheeks. “I told her you said I could go.”
Shock and disappointment lanced through him. Kenny had never behaved like this before. The daddy in him wanted to pull the boy to his heart and hold him, chase away the tears. The parent in him understood that this was an opportunity to teach a lesson. “Kenny. You told her a lie, didn’t you?”
He nodded, the tears flowing more now.
“We don’t do that in this family. We follow the rules, and we tell the truth. I’m very disappointed. You won’t be allowed to go the trails for a week. Is that clear?”
Kenny nodded, his lower lip quivering.
Matt’s heart caved. “Come here, sport.” He wrapped his arms around the slender boy and lifted him onto his lap. “I love you very much, but I want you to learn to do the right things.”
Kenny sniffed and wiped his nose. “Miss Shelby was disappointed, too.”
“What do you mean?”
“We were sitting on my favorite bench and I told her you didn’t know I was with her. She got upset and we started back. She said you’d be disappointed, but that you’d still love me like Jesus does.”
Matt winced with a sudden surge of shame. He shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions. Kenny was the culprit in this adventure. Not Shelby. She had tried to explain, but he’d allowed his old hurts to override his common sense. He’d been rude and spiteful. She didn’t deserve that.
“She was right. I do love you and I’m not mad. I get worried, Kenny. I don’t want anything to happen to you.”
“Like it happened to Mommy?”
Matt braced himself against the old pain. “Yes. I want to make sure you’re safe every minute. When I can’t find you, I get very scared. Do you understand?”
“I don’t want you to be scared, Daddy.”
“I know.” He hugged him close, kissing the top of his head.
Matt watched his son leave the room, painfully aware that he had some serious damage control to handle. He needed to apologize to Shelby, but he wasn’t looking forward to it. Ever since he’d seen her standing on Ellen’s front porch, his mind had been flooded with memories and his emotions in conflict.
He’d planned a future with her, planned his life around her, and she’d suddenly decided he was too small-town and broken their engagement. She’d left him twisting in the wind and wondering why. Why had she changed her mind? What had he done? His sweet, funny Shelby had become enraged, and he hadn’t known why.
Matt stared at his clasped hands on the tabletop. Shelby was here now. He could ask her outright why she’d turned her back on him, but what good would it do? They’d both gone on with their lives and found happiness. Knowing wouldn’t change things.
Who was he trying to kid? Even after all these years it was the not knowing that still haunted him. As much as he hated to admit it, he wanted an answer. If he had an explanation, a reason for her behavior that night, then he could put it behind him once and for all.
It shouldn’t matter. He’d gotten over her long ago. So why did his heart skip a beat whenever he thought about her? Why did his mind constantly replay sweet moments from their past?
Matt stood, scraping the chair legs across the floor. Because he was a fool with a bruised ego. He was also a man who needed to make an apology. And the sooner the better.
*
Shelby paced the kitchen, her emotions pulling her in two directions. One minute she was furious at Matt for refusing to listen to any explanation about Kenny. The next she wanted to cry over the lost hope of them ever being civil to one another. After today’s incident with Kenny, he would never speak to her again, let alone allow her to help babysit. He was probably on the phone right now hiring a professional. Anxiety and frustration quickened her heart rate. She needed to move, to do something besides replay the ugly scene with Matt. How was she ever going to learn to relax with him next door?
Her gaze came to rest on her grandmother’s small collection of pill bottles on the counter. Medications. She still needed to fill her own prescriptions. Now might be a good time to take care of that
. A brisk walk into town might be exactly what she needed. She also needed to schedule an appointment with the cardiologist in Jackson her doctor had recommended.
Buoyed by her decision, she quickly changed into a denim skirt and a cool knit top and slid her feet into comfy sandals, grabbing her purse on the way out the door. By the time she reached the center of Dover she was feeling more relaxed than she had in a long time. So many landmarks along the way triggered sweet recollections from her childhood. Odd. She’d worked so hard to get away from this place. She’d been so firm in her resolve to stay away. Yet now that she was here, it felt like home. She felt like she belonged.
The picturesque downtown greeted her like an old friend. She strolled down Main Street past the furniture store and the bank, smiling as she glanced up at the name engraved in the stone lintel. It was the only building in town that spelled the name correctly. Do Over.
Originally a crossroad between the rail line to New Orleans and the wagon traffic from the river, the town had sprung up haphazardly overnight. When a fire destroyed most of the north side, the community saw it as an opportunity to begin fresh, a chance to do over their town more responsibly. The original name Junction City was replaced with Do Over, which was shortened to D’Over and eventually simply Dover. The irony didn’t escape her notice. A do-over was exactly what she needed in her life right now.
Adam’s Pharmacy was on the other side of the courthouse square, so she crossed the street and walked into the park. The historic gazebo nestled beside a giant magnolia beckoned her like an old friend. Shelby climbed the steps onto the bandstand, taking a slow turn around the perimeter. The gazebo was a landmark, one of the oldest structures in the town, and had become the symbol of Dover. It was as synonymous with Dover as the Dentzel Carousel was for Meridian and the lighthouse for Biloxi.
Everyone in town could trace many of their most important life events to the delicate structure. Her own catalogue was full of happy times with her parents when she was young, then with her friend Pam and lastly with Matt. Those memories didn’t need to be visited right now. With an affectionate pat on one of the turned posts, Shelby descended the wooden steps and started toward the drugstore again.
“Shelby. Shelby Russell!”
Turning to see who had called her name, Shelby smiled when she recognized her childhood friend. “Pam Cotter? I was just thinking about you.”
The woman smiled happily and approached with arms spread wide. “I’d heard you were back. I couldn’t wait to see you.”
Shelby hugged her. “How did you know I was here?”
Pam pulled out of the embrace and grinned. “I work at the hospital. Your gramma practically announced it over the public address system.”
Shelby nodded. “I should have known. How are you? I see you’re still here.”
“Yep. And it’s Fleming now.” Pam glanced at the bandstand. “How many Saturdays did we spend sitting in there eating ice cream and talking about how we would take the world by storm?”
“Too many to count. You look great. Married life agrees with you.”
“Fifteen years and three kids.” Pam surveyed her for a moment. “I’ve missed you, Shel. You left so suddenly. One day you were here, and the next you were gone. You didn’t call or leave a note. Why? What happened?”
Shelby was beginning to see that she’d left another broken friendship in her wake. “I’m sorry, something came up and I left for college early.” She smiled and changed the subject. “So you’ve been here in Dover the whole time?”
“Oh, no. Ron and I still went to State and got our degrees.”
“I thought you gave that up when you got pregnant?” She remembered her bitter disappointment when Pam had told her they wouldn’t be roommates at college because she was pregnant and getting married instead.
“I did until the baby came, but Ron and I knew we couldn’t skip our education. He went on and I started a year later, baby and all.”
Her trip back to Dover was challenging many of the reasons she’d left and making her wonder if there were options she had never considered. Could she and Matt have had it all? Each other, college and careers? Her life could have turned out differently had she chosen the other path. But she hadn’t. She’d chosen college and career and never regretted it a moment. “How did you do it?”
“Believe me, I wouldn’t recommend anyone get their education the way we did. Living in married housing, trying to raise a child and go to school and work. But I’m proud of what we accomplished. What about you? I hear you’re some big magazine executive in New York.”
“I am, but there’s a big shake-up going on in the company and I may be out of work soon.” It felt good to share that with her friend. They’d never had secrets from one another.
“Oh, Shel, I’m so sorry. I know you were right there at the top of your field.” Pam squeezed her hand. “Are you headed someplace special? I’d love to get a cup of coffee and catch up.”
It was on the tip of her tongue to decline, but the opportunity to unburden herself was too appealing. “I have to get some prescriptions filled. Why don’t I drop them off and meet you?”
“Great. The coffee shop is right there on the corner. See you in a minute.”
A short while later Shelby exhaled a sigh and looked at her friend.
“So, everything in my life right now is in limbo.” Shelby took a sip of her iced tea, enjoying the brisk taste and the sense of calm that washed over her. Pam had listened intently as she’d recounted the events that had forced her back home. “The worst part is feeling out of control.”
“That’s because you’re still under the delusion that you have control at all. You don’t have the power to change any of your problems right now, Shel, but He does. Let God work this out. But He can’t do anything until you let go of it and let Him take over.”
“You make it sound so easy.”
“It’s not easy, but it’s necessary. Take things one step at a time. First off, concentrate on your health. Are you exercising?”
Shelby responded with a feeble shrug of her shoulders, which brought a knowing smile to her friend’s face. “Here’s my cell number. You can call me anytime. I walk every morning right past your grandmother’s house. We can work out together. I’m here for you, Shel. Call me if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Pam. I didn’t realize how much I needed a friend.” A shadow fell across the bistro table.
“Shelby Russell. Well, I’ll be.”
Shelby glance up into a pair of cobalt-blue eyes and a warm smile. “Mr. Durrant?”
Tom Durrant took her hand and squeezed it affectionately. “I didn’t think I’d ever see you back in Dover again. What brings you to town?”
“I’m visiting my grandmother and taking a short sabbatical from work.” It was the truth. Just not the whole truth. She swallowed her discomfort and smiled.
“It sure is good to see you.” His eyes narrowed slightly. “Are you doing all right? Everything okay with you?”
She smiled with as much reassurance as she could muster and introduced her friend. “I’m great. I see Mrs. Durrant’s campaign signs all over town. Wish her luck for me.” Mr. Durrant opened his mouth to say something but stopped. She suspected he had started to mention Matt and thought better of it.
“Will do. Oh, and if you’re going to be around for the seventeenth we’re having a shindig at Shiloh Lake to celebrate our anniversary. The whole town’s invited. That includes you.”
“Thank you.” His sincere invitation cheered her. Mr. Durrant had always made her feel like one of his own. Shelby watched him go, her heart a tangle of conflicting emotions. She’d loved Matt’s dad. One of her biggest regrets when she broke up with Matt was losing him as a father-in-law.
She looked over at Pam, who was studying her intently.
“So, did your sudden departure fifteen years ago have anything to do with Matt Durrant?”
Nodding slowly, she raised her glass to her lips. “Everything
.”
Chapter Five
Matt strode into the garage and stood at the workbench. He’d been promising Kenny he’d put up the tire swing for weeks now. But that wasn’t why he’d decided to tackle it today. He needed to keep busy so he wouldn’t think about the apology he had to make to Shelby. He pulled his tape measure out at the same moment his cell rang. He smiled at the name that appeared on the screen. “Hey, little brother. How’s it going?” His brother was a police detective in Dallas. It was a high-stress job, but Tyler thrived on the challenge. “It’s good to hear from you. What’s going on?”
“The usual stuff. Chasing bad guys.”
Matt heard something odd in his younger brother’s deep voice. “Everything okay over there in Big D?”
“Yeah. I wanted to let you know I’m going to try and come home for Mom and Dad’s anniversary shindig.”
“Hey, that’s great. They’ll love that. It’s been a while since you’ve been home.”
“I know. I keep meaning to take a weekend off, but it never seems to work out. You know how it is.”
“I do indeed. Hey, the kids will be glad to see you.”
“I’m sure they’ve grown. Look, let’s keep this a secret, okay? I’m not a hundred percent sure I can get the time off. I don’t want Mom and Dad disappointed if I don’t make it.”
“No problem, but I’ll be praying that it works out. I miss you, bro.”
“Same here.”
They said their goodbyes, and Matt sent up a quick prayer that Ty would make it to the picnic. Nothing would make his parents happier.
*
By the time Shelby returned to her grandmother’s house later that afternoon, she’d regained her sense of contentment and had managed to keep thoughts of Matt and her career at bay for a few hours. She crossed the front porch and reached for the door handle.
“Shelby.”
Matt. Her heart leaped into her throat. She should have known this moment of peace wouldn’t last. This whole mess would have been so much easier if he wasn’t next door. His boots scraped against the concrete as he mounted the porch steps. Heart pounding, she squared her shoulders and turned to face him. His cobalt eyes bored into her.
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