Rekindled Romance

by Lorraine Beatty

  Matt held out his hand to help her up. “Then follow me. I can get you to the head of the line. I haven’t eaten yet myself.”

  Matt fell in beside her, matching his stride to her shorter one. Shelby tried not to remember how often they had done this, how much she missed it. His hand was so close it would only take a slight movement to slip her fingers into his. “Looks like you had a good turnout. I think everyone in town is here.”

  “Probably so. My parents know everyone. I think that’s why Mom wanted a picnic instead of a formal party. This was a lot easier.”

  “It suits them, too. Your parents were never the pretentious type.”

  “No, they’re not. They’ve always been more at home in a park than a country club. How’s your leg?”

  She slowed and glanced downward. Her skirt ended right above the fading red spot. “Almost all healed up. Maybe you should have been a doctor.”

  Matt chuckled. “No, I don’t think so. Too squeamish. I can’t handle being around sick people.”

  Silence settled over them again, looming like a shadow. Like a woman with heart disease. When they reached the food table, Shelby picked up a plate and started down the line of sumptuous dishes. Matt followed, making conversation with several others as they filed along the food line. When their plates were heaping full, they took them to a table nestled near a large, sprawling magnolia tree. Shelby had tried to remember to make healthy choices, but it was difficult. Hopefully she’d get better as time when on. Matt went back for their drinks then sat down, eyeing her plate.

  “You planning on eating all of that?”

  Was he worried she wasn’t taking care of herself? Out of concern for his children of course. The twinkle in his eyes eased her mind. “Not all of it. But it’s been a long time since I’ve had picnic food. I want to at least taste most of it. But only one bite of each. Then I’ll have to double up on the exercise tomorrow.”

  “Don’t they have picnics in New York?”

  “Of course. In fact they have a Mississippi Day in Central Park. I just never had the time to attend.” Shelby took a bite of potato salad and released an audible moan of satisfaction, all thoughts of Matt and his motives vanishing. “This has to be Mrs. Johnson’s.”

  Matt chuckled. “Oh yeah. No one makes potato salad like she does.”

  Shelby swallowed with difficulty. It was nice to hear him laugh again. They’d found so much to laugh at that summer. Merely being together had created joy.

  Cassidy and Kenny skidded to a stop at the edge of the table, stalling her train of thought.

  “Can we have ice cream now?” Cassidy pleaded. “Darcy’s mom brought some triple chocolate chip.”

  Matt nodded. “Go ahead. But don’t blame me if you have a stomachache tonight.”

  A few moments later the children were back. Cassidy sat beside her father. Kenny climbed in next to her. Her heart ached. With little effort she could envision this as her family. She glanced at Matt, surprised to find him studying her. There was an odd look in his blue eyes. Not angry or disapproving but more assessing. It made her uncomfortable.

  “Tell us about you and Shelby and what y’all did in the olden days,” Cassidy asked with a huge smile.

  Shelby laughed.

  Matt frowned. “Olden days?”

  “Yeah, back when you were in school. Gramma said Shelby worked at the store. Did you?”

  “I did.” She pushed her paper plate aside. “I started after graduation and worked until I went to college that fall.” The last period in her life she wanted to revisit at the moment.

  “What did you do at my grandpa’s store?” Kenny wondered. “Did you fix stuff?”

  “No.” She chuckled. “I was a salesclerk.”

  “Were you two an item?” Cassidy propped her chin on her fists and smiled in anticipation.

  Matt groaned softly. Shelby decided to rescue him. “We were friends.”

  “Good friends?”

  Shelby laughed. “Yes. We’d hang out on weekends. You know, the usual stuff. Movies. Burgers. When the weather was nice, we’d hop on his bike and ride around the countryside.”

  “What kind of bike?” Kenny asked, resting his elbows on the table and staring at her with interest.

  She had to chuckle at the boy’s curiosity. He was such an adorable, lovable child, she had to fight to keep from hugging him all the time. “A motorcycle.”

  “You had a motorcycle?” Cassidy gaped at her father in stunned amazement.

  Matt nodded, a serious expression on his face. “That was back in the olden days. The days before time was invented.”

  “Cool.” Kenny’s voice was filled with awe and respect. “What happened to it?”

  Shelby found herself wondering the same thing. Judging by the kids’ reaction, Matt had given up riding long ago.

  “Your mother didn’t think it was safe, so I sold it.” He smiled down at his daughter. “I didn’t want to worry her.”

  Cassidy leaned against Matt’s shoulder, a huge smile on her face. “Were you one of those biker dudes with big boots and a leather jacket and a bandana?”

  Matt grimaced. “No. Where do you get these ideas?”

  “Where did you go, Daddy? Did you ride all over the mountains and stuff like I see on TV?”

  Shelby’s heart tightened with a sweet ache. Those days with Matt were some of her most cherished memories. She didn’t visit them much; it was too painful. But sharing them here and now with Matt’s children made it enjoyable again.

  “No,” Matt replied with a smile. “We only rode around here. Sometimes we’d go to Jackson, and one time we drove down to the coast.”

  Cassidy rolled her eyes. “Boring.”

  “Oh, I don’t know.” Matt held Shelby’s gaze. “I remember a trip to Brookhaven and a certain farmer who might disagree.”

  Shelby blinked. She couldn’t believe he remembered that, let alone brought it up. “We’re lucky he didn’t have us arrested.”

  “What did you do?” Cassidy demanded, all ears. Kenny’s eyes were wide with fascination.

  “I think you’d better ask your father.” Far be it from her to be the one to tell tales to his kids.

  Matt grinned and shook his head. “Let’s say we wandered a little too far off the road and ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

  “Aw, come on. Tell us.”

  Two pairs of little eyes stared at her expectantly. Shelby chuckled with the memory. “I’ll tell you we were covered in mud. It took me days to get it out of my hair. His leather jacket was ruined.”

  Cassidy poked her dad with her fingers. “I knew it. You did have a leather jacket. But I can’t see you riding a big old bike. Too weird.”

  “Well, I did. Guess that was in my wilder days.”

  Cassidy giggled. “You? Wild? Prove it. You got any pictures?”

  “No.”

  Shelby looked over at Matt. He’d responded too quickly. Did he still have some of those photos? She found that hard to believe. He had never been the type to keep mementos. But oh how she wished he had kept a few. It would mean that somewhere deep inside he still cared.

  “Do you have any?” Cassidy asked, looking at Shelby expectantly.

  “No. Sorry. I’m sure my mom threw out all my stuff when she got married and moved away.” That wasn’t completely true. She had a couple photos, but they were packed away and hadn’t been seen or even thought about in years.

  *

  “Shelby Russell, is that you?” A woman approached the picnic table, a huge smile on her face.

  Matt grabbed the opportunity to excuse himself. He wandered off a short distance, tossing his half-empty plate into the trash can. He glanced back at Shelby chatting with her old friend.

  His children sat across the picnic table, listening intently. After a few minutes, the friend walked off and Shelby turned her attention back to the kids. They all laughed, talking animatedly. An odd longing tugged at his heart. He turned away from the sight and g
lanced around the large park. Was it his imagination or was everyone here a couple?

  He rarely thought about being single. As a widower, he was too busy with the kids, his job, his ministry. No time to worry about himself. But he’d be lying if he didn’t admit he missed having someone at his side. He’d felt the emptiness more strongly over the last few weeks. Since Shelby had come home.

  His gaze traveled once again to Shelby. The children were rising from the table, probably going off to the playground. Kenny stopped and gave Shelby a hug before dashing off like a small rocket. A smile lit Shelby’s face as his daughter blew her a kiss before hurrying after her brother. Her gaze drifted toward him, stopping as their eyes met. A cold finger of loneliness traced across his senses and into his heart. He longed for companionship again, but the risks were too high. The pain of loss was too great to chance ever again.

  He broke eye contact and turned away. He couldn’t allow a moment’s loneliness to cloud the issues. Cassidy and Kenny were all that mattered. They’d been devastated by Katie’s death. Both had suffered serious depression, nightmares and illness. It had taken all he had, and God’s grace, to get them through the grieving process.

  Still, he worried sometimes about what they were missing by not having a mother. A mother who would hug them, guide them and laugh with them the way Shelby did. He glanced back at the table. Shelby had left. He caught sight of her walking toward the lake. Alone. Maybe he should join her.

  “There you are, dear. Laura wants a family picture. You’re the only one missing.” His mother slipped her arm in his. “Except Tyler, of course. I wish he could get home more.”

  “Me, too.” Ty had called last night to say he wouldn’t make it home after all. The case he was working was coming to a head and he needed to see it through. Matt walked with his mom to the arbor, where his father waited. Laura had somehow lured Cassidy and Kenny back from the playground. He had the sudden impression that Shelby should be here, part of the picture.

  Once the photograph was taken, his gaze immediately searched out Shelby. He found her standing with her friend Pam and another woman, sharing a laugh. For someone who professed a love of the big city, she fit perfectly into small-town life. For a moment he allowed himself to remember his old dreams. Shelby was supposed to have been part of his life, to have shared all its joys and the triumphs. Instead, she’d chosen her love for her career over her love for him.

  He needed to accept the fact that he might never know why. And even if he did, it wouldn’t change a thing. Matt turned when he heard his name called, raising his hand in greeting as a friend approached. “Hey, Dave. Glad you could make it.” Dave was the local dentist and a good friend of his sister, Laura.

  “Me, too. It’s a great shindig. We’re getting up a game of family volleyball. Get the kids and join us. We’re setting up over in the far field.”

  “Sounds like fun. Thanks.”

  Matt searched out Shelby again. She had left her friend and was once again with his children, He started forward to recruit them for the volleyball game. Family volleyball. But they weren’t really a family. So why did he keep thinking of them that way?

  *

  Shelby finished the piece of fruit on her plate and sighed. It had been a wonderful day. She’d been able to set aside all her worries and simply enjoy each moment. She’d played volleyball with Matt and the children. With parents and children all playing together it had been a pretty tame competition, which kept her lack of athletic ability from being exposed. She’d renewed a few old acquaintances and thoroughly enjoyed herself.

  The afternoon sun was giving way to twilight, and the picnic was winding down. The grills had been loaded back onto their trucks, the food cleared away and the extra lawn chairs folded and carted off. She was sad to see the day end.

  “Bye, Miss Shelby. We’ll see you tomorrow.” Kenny waved and hurried to her side.

  She rested her hand on his waist and smiled. “Yes, you will. Are you leaving?”

  Laura Durrant joined them. “I told them we could go watch a movie at my place. I thought it might let them calm down a bit. They’re totally wound up.”

  Cassidy shook her head. “No, we’re not.”

  “Oh yes, you are,” Matt chimed in. “Behave yourselves. I’ll pick you up after the movie.”

  Once they were gone, Shelby stood and smiled at Matt. “I guess I’d better be going, too. I had a good time today.”

  “Me, too. I hate to see it end. Would you like to take a walk along the lake for a few minutes?”

  The idea was tempting. Spending time with him was always on her wish list. “Sure.”

  They started across the wide grassy area toward the water’s edge and the well-worn path along the bank, walking in companionable silence, with only the sound of nature filling the cool, quiet air.

  “It’s so beautiful here.”

  “Yes, it is. We used to come here often to walk along this path. Do you remember?”

  She stole a quick glance at him. His chiseled features were relaxed, free of the worry she so frequently saw. “I do.”

  He slowed and stepped off the path, walking toward a large live oak, its branches draped in thick strands of Spanish moss. “Do you remember this?”

  She moved closer, her heartbeat racing as she recognized the large heart and the pair of initials carved inside. SR + MD. “Our tree. I’d forgotten about this.” She glanced upward to the branches. “It’s so much bigger than I remembered.”

  “It’s been fifteen years. Things change.”

  She traced the heart with her fingers. “Yes, they do. Many things change.” A small chuckle rose up from inside. She turned and smiled at him. “I remember the day you did this. You must have planned ahead because you had one of those battery-operated carving tools with you. The kind your dad sold in the store.”

  Matt chuckled. “I remember.”

  “You said you wanted it to last forever so everyone could see it when they passed by.”

  Matt leaned against the trunk and placed his fingers beside the heart. “Looks like it did for the most part. The tree has grown around some of it.”

  She could see he had something on his mind. “Matt, why did you bring me here?” He was silent a long moment, as if searching for the right words.

  “I want to sort things out in my head. About you. About us. I thought maybe we could settle some of them.”

  Her throat tightened. Was he putting an end to her babysitting? Asking her to step out of his life? “All right. Maybe it would be for the best.”

  He faced her, a deep frown creasing his forehead. “What happened that night? Why did you suddenly change your mind about us? One day you’re accepting my ring and then the next suddenly I’m too small-town.”

  Shelby bit her lip, trying to find a good place to start. She ignored the quickening of her heart. They needed to have this out, but it wasn’t going to be easy. “Because you changed the plan.”

  Matt shook his head, puzzled. “What plan? The only plan I had was to marry you.”

  “Yes, but not until after college.” Shelby ran a hand over her arm and turned away, putting distance between them. His confusion hovered between them like the moss dangling overhead.

  Matt exhaled in exasperation. “Right. So?”

  “I didn’t want to give up my education and stay here in Dover. That wasn’t the plan we always talked about.”

  He ran a hand down the back of his neck. “Shelby, I know how important your education was to you. I’d never have asked you to give that up.” He paced off a few steps. “None of this is making any sense.”

  She took a few steps toward him, anxious for him to understand. “When I met you at the gazebo that night you told me you didn’t think you were going back to college. You said you’d missed so much already because of your dad’s accident that you might as well take over the store. Then you started talking about what a great life your parents had, how owning the store would let us start a family sooner.”<
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  “Yeah. I remember, but I was just talking, Shelby. Dad’s relapse had thrown everything into chaos. With him back in the hospital, not knowing if he’d survive another surgery, my future was looking pretty bleak. I’d been counting on going to school the next week and then it was all taken away again.” He exhaled a heavy sigh. “That night I was angry and confused. I had to face reality. If my dad didn’t pull through, I’d be the head of the family. I’d have to take over the store and finishing college would be out of the question.” He looked into her eyes, a sad smile on his handsome face. “I guess I was trying to hold on to the one sure thing in my life at the time. You. Us.”

  Shelby looked over at him, her heart aching. “I didn’t know your dad had gone back into the hospital. Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I did. I told your mom when I called and left the message for you to meet me.”

  Shelby quickly sorted through her memories of that day. She’d been troubled about a lot of things. Her mom hadn’t been at all happy about the engagement. And she’d just learned her friend Pam, who was supposed to be her roommate at college, was pregnant and getting married instead. “She never mentioned it to me.”

  “Why would she not tell you? Did she dislike me that much?”

  “It wasn’t you in particular. It was anything that might tempt me away from school. She was furious when I came home with your ring on my finger. She was determined that I would have a better life than she had, and she didn’t think you’d ever be more than the next owner of a small-town hardware store.” She stared at the heart carved in the tree trunk. “So when you started talking about taking over the store, I guess I panicked.” She braved a look at Matt, but could read only confusion in his eyes. She tried to explain further. “The ring suddenly became a chain and I had to break it.”

  “So you ran away without a word.”

  Shelby nodded. “Mom was relieved when I told her I’d broken up with you. She gave me money to leave for school early. I left the next morning.”

  “That’s what your mom told me when I came by the house the next day looking for you. I didn’t want to believe you’d do that.” He held her gaze. “I called and I wrote to you, but you never answered so I finally got the message. We were through.”