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TRITON: A Navy SEAL Romance (Heroes Ever After Book 2)

Page 12

by Alana Albertson


  Erik, on the other hand, pushed my boundaries. Ever since I’d met him only a month ago, he had already had a positive effect on my happiness.

  As icing on the cake, unbeknownst to him, he was also giving me an advantage to help me achieve my goal.

  And after our dinner the other night, I was even more impressed by him. I wanted him to succeed. I was proud to be by his side. I could help him as much as he could help me.

  I think I’m in love with him.

  Once we arrived on base Erik led me to the “O” course. This time I was in luck as a bunch of BUD/S instructors were training candidates nearby. Around twenty men stood on the shore of the beach holding Swift boats above their heads. These were the men who had completed hell week last week. The winners. The sight of my future filled my soul with adrenaline. I was so close to my dream that I could taste salt water in my mouth and feel the sand embedded in my skin.

  Erik turned to me. “Okay, champ, we’re going to try this again. Place both of your feet hip distance apart, and jump so your hips wrap around the first hurdle.”

  I took a deep breath and focused on the hurdle. For years, I’d worked with a sports psychiatrist, and I had learned to practice creative visualization. How to psych myself out before competitions. Imagine my body executing the flawless routine had become my daily mental practice.

  Dirty Name would be no match for me.

  I steadied my feet on the log, bent in a squat position, and jumped on the hurdle.

  Smack. My body hit with a thud and dropped into the sand.

  “Again.” Erik’s voice was calm and reassuring. Just what I needed.

  I jumped again, with the same disastrous result.

  And again.

  And again.

  For the next fucking hour, I jumped so many times that my entire body ached. I should’ve given up, but I couldn’t stop. Like an addict, I kept returning to the starting point, unwilling to accept defeat.

  I jumped again, this time face planting against the wood, splitting my lip open. I wiped the blood off my mouth, picked myself off the dirt, and walked back to the starting point.

  Erik ran over to me. “Okay, babe, that’s enough. Seriously. You did a great job, and I’m proud of you. But you need to give it up. I’m going to call it.”

  “No.” My voice shook. “You have to let me try again. I can do it. I’ve almost got it.”

  He pulled me into him and held me tight. “Hey, what’s with you? Why is this so important to you? You act like it’s life and death. It’s not like you’re one of those guys out there whose career depends on this course.” He pointed to the BUD/s candidates, now riding the waves in their boats.

  Ha. He would reexamine every bit of our relationship in his head next year when he learned the truth.

  But right now, I couldn’t deal with him. Like a petulant child, I stormed off.

  He caught up to me. “Aria, what the fuck is going on with you? You are blowing hot and cold with me. I get it. You’re competitive. But you can’t win every time. And it’s okay.”

  I turned to him, my face red and blotchy, the metallic taste of blood dripping down my throat. I couldn’t hold back any longer. My emotions burst onto the sand. “It’s not okay. You have everything. You’re gorgeous, have a dream career, and a family who loves you. All I have is winning. I have no close friends, I never met my father and I never will, and my mom is abusive and uses me. I have nothing. No one cares about synchro. Winning is the only thing I’ve ever been good at.”

  God, I sounded pathetic, but I couldn’t hold back.

  He clutched my shoulders and forced me to look at him. “You have me. I fucking love you. I can’t fight it anymore. Don’t you get that? I love you, Aria, though I’m not sure why, because honestly, you’re a fucking mess, but I love you anyway. I’ve never met a woman like you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I can make you happy. We could be the best team. We’d be unstoppable together.”

  OMG! Did he just say he loved me? My heart leaped for joy. I was in love with him, and he was in love with me. We loved each other. He had seen my quirkiness, my madness, and yet still loved me.

  But I couldn’t tell him how much I loved him.

  No. No.

  There was no room in my world for love. None. Not now. Definitely not now.

  And he may love me now, but his love would turn to hate when he realized the secret I had been keeping from him.

  He would leave me the second he found out I had joined the Navy on a BUD/S contract.

  My hands shook and my vision blurred. How had I let this get so far? This was supposed to be a summer fling and nothing more.

  I had to end this.

  I had to end this now.

  I stared at this fine ass man in front of me. A man who I never thought in my wildest dreams would be attracted to me, let alone tell me he loved me. I prayed for the strength to tell the only guy I had ever loved goodbye.

  “Love me? You don’t even know me. You don’t know anything about the real me.”

  He shook his head and clasped my hands in his. “You’re wrong, sweetheart. I do know you. I see you, Aria. The real you. You are so determined and strong. You will stop at nothing to win. You are worthy of being loved. Please, stop shutting me out. Let me love you.”

  I choked down my sobs, refusing to let him see me cry. Let him see on my face how much I cared about him.

  How much I loved him, too.

  But unfortunately for both of us, I didn’t love myself.

  “You really want to know who I am? I’m a liar. I’m a fraud. I use people. If you knew who I really was, you would want nothing to do with me. Goodbye Erik.”

  And I stormed off the base back to the Hotel Del, leaving my pretty sea foam cruiser, and my man, behind.

  My body was battered and bruised. But at least it was in one piece.

  Unlike my heart.

  27

  Erik

  I stood there in the sand as Aria stomped off, sand from her boots flying in my face. What the fuck had just happened?

  Had she literally just dumped me because I wouldn’t let her keep trying Dirty Name? What the hell was wrong with her? Why was that goddamn obstacle so important to her? More important to her than I was?

  And she had just told me she was a liar. What had she been talking about? How had she lied to me?

  Dammit. Why had I let my guard down around her? I had even considered a future with her. This was my fucking fault. Not hers. She had told me from day one she didn’t want anything serious because she wasn’t going to be in town, but my dumb ass pursued her anyway. As a SEAL, I tried to push away from my emotions, focus on the facts. But the fact was my heart had just detonated into a thousand pieces.

  I grabbed her stupid bike and mine and walking both bikes back to my garage.

  What the fuck was I going to do with this bike? I could’ve given it to Holly, but she already had a bike. I could donate it somewhere or give it to one of my buddy’s wives.

  But maybe, one day, Aria would return. Apologize for flipping out on me.

  Until I heard from her again, I would keep the bike, and try not to remember how happy she looked riding it.

  28

  Aria

  Six Months later

  On a cold winter day, my plane touched down in San Diego. Had it really been five months since I’d left my heart here? I was so ashamed of running out like a child. And now I was back. Would I run into Erik? I wondered if he was even stateside or if he was deployed? As much as I missed him, I secretly hoped he was deployed so I wouldn’t run into him. Until after I had passed BUD/S. I didn’t need that distraction. One look at him on base and I would lose all my focus.

  Even worse than my fear of confronting him was how much I missed him. I had deluded myself into thinking I would be able to get over him so easily. But unfortunately, that wasn’t the case. I dreamt of him every night, and he filled my thoughts every second of the day. Every time I achieved a goal in m
y pre-BUD/S training, he was the first person I wanted to call. I had even stalked him on Facebook. Each time I refreshed his page, my heart stood still for a second, because I dreaded seeing a profile picture of him with his arm wrapped around a girl. But luckily for me, his picture remained only of him. Either way, I knew my obsession with him wasn’t healthy. I hoped that one day after I completed BUD/S, I could see him and get some closure. And better yet, I dreamed that he would give me another shot.

  Isa and I remained in constant contact regarding Flounder. I hadn’t told her either that I had joined the Navy. Once I made it through hell week, I planned to apply to live off base and rent a place in Coronado for Flounder and me.

  I waited at the baggage claim for my luggage and then boarded the bus for the Naval Special Warfare base. As we drove over the Coronado bridge, my mind flashed back to my first kiss with Erik. Gah, what was wrong with me? I had to push him out of my mind now, or there was no chance of me succeeding.

  At least Officer Candidate School had been easy. Twelve weeks seemed like a breeze compared to what I was in for at BUD/S.

  There was only one thing I dreaded more than seeing Erik.

  Dirty Name.

  I had studied so many videos since I’d left San Diego. And though it looked so easy on tape, it was a mental block for me now.

  Like riding a bike had been.

  Until Erik.

  He had been the one to force me to overcome my biking fear.

  I needed him to help me conquer my biggest fear of all. Dirty Name.

  But I’d blown any opportunity of that happening.

  At this point, it was psychological. It had to be.

  As we passed the Del, my heart hitched. Seeing the pool where I had met Erik, passing his condo, gazing at the ocean where we had made love, it was too much for me. I had to stop thinking about him.

  The bus pulled into the gate, and my heart pounded in my chest as I scanned the men for any sign of Erik. But luckily there wasn’t any. Blowing out a relieved breath, I focused on what was ahead of me. Tomorrow I would start with Physical Training Rehabilitation and Remediation for a few weeks before I joined the Indoctrination Phase.

  Then I would start First Phase. The first woman in history to be in BUD/S.

  I couldn’t wait. Bring it.

  One more step toward my goal. My destiny. My future.

  If I failed, then I would have given up my love for nothing.

  But if I succeeded, then maybe it would be worth it. Maybe Erik would even understand that I had had no choice but to break up with him. I would be able to prove to him that a woman could pass BUD/S and he would finally realize how wrong he had been.

  He would forgive me for deceiving him, and I would forgive him for his antiquated views.

  Any maybe he would love me again.

  29

  Aria

  Today was the first day of BUD/S.

  I had been surprised when I had found out that I wasn’t the only female in the pipeline.

  But it didn’t matter. I was the only one who remained.

  One hundred twelve men and three women entered the pre-training program five weeks ago.

  Eighty men and one woman remained.

  I was officially the first female to ever join BUD/S.

  Hooyah! Let’s do this.

  I glanced around the outside near the barracks. The concrete was damp from the early morning dew, but I knew soon enough it would be drenched in sweat and water, sprayed from hoses of our instructors.

  Travis, a tall, skinny eighteen-year-old boy from Minnesota, stood next to me, both of us shivering in the cold pre-dawn air. “You ready? Someone always drops night one.”

  I looked at him dead on and punched his arm. I knew the key to succeeding was being treated like one of the guys. “Absolutely. Bring it.”

  “Awesome. Let’s warm up.” He dropped to the ground and attempted some flutter kicks.

  Before I dropped down also, I studied his form. “Hey, I noticed you rest your legs on the ground between sets.”

  He nodded. “Yeah. I want to take a break every chance I get. They will destroy us.”

  “No, don’t do that. I’m a swimmer. You need those hip flexors strong, so we can pass our ocean swim test. Let me show you a good stretch.” I knelt next to him and showed him how to stretch deep, putting him in the correct position. He returned the favor by placing pressure on my back and helping me deepen my own stretch.

  “Thanks, Demi. I hope you make it. I’m rooting for you.”

  Demi. My newly anointed nickname. G.I. Jane in the flesh. I smiled, touched by his support. Just like in synchro, I knew I was only as strong as my partner. “Hey, let’s make a pact. Let’s promise each other we won’t quit. We can be swim buddies.”

  He hesitated. Maybe he didn’t want to be paired with a woman.

  “I’d be honored. Hooyah.”

  “Hooyah.”

  I was pumped. I couldn’t wait. Nothing could stop me now.

  We stood in line, next to the other men. Six SEALs in dark blue instructor shirts ran out. I scanned their faces, preparing myself to meet for the first time the men who would train us.

  But as the first instructor stood in front of the group, I gasped.

  A man stood front a center. His dark bangs, skimming his deep blue bedroom eyes. His tanned, tattooed arms flexing under his shirt. His perfectly chiseled face and strong jaw sneering at me.

  Oh fuck. Oh no.

  It was Erik.

  My heart dropped, and my legs quivered.

  His eyes met mine, and I forced myself to keep my gaze steady as my bottom lip quivered. A sudden coldness hit my core, and it wasn’t from the chilly winter night. I blinked back tears. I refused to cry. The first female BUD/S candidate couldn’t cry under any circumstances.

  It couldn’t be him. This couldn’t be happening to me. What was this cruel twist of fate? All the ways I’d dreamed of us meeting again, this had never been in the realm of possibilities.

  All my hard work would be for nothing.

  For the first time since I’d set out to become a SEAL, I doubted that I would succeed. And it wasn’t because of my physicality. It was a mental game. Erik knew me better than anyone. I had confessed to him my insecurities and confided in him about my father. He knew me.

  And he could break me.

  My mind failed to comprehend what he was yelling about, unable to grasp the depth of my nightmare.

  For Erik—my ex, the man I’d lied to and left, the only guy I’d ever loved was my instructor.

  And I was his student.

  30

  Erik

  The second my shift was over, I bolted out of the compound. Fuck my fucking life. Aria was the first female in BUD/S. I couldn’t believe it even though I had seen her with my own eyes.

  I hadn’t been blind. I had suspected her plan once but then dismissed it as me being paranoid.

  I walked into my office and slammed the door behind me.

  But no sooner than I had sat down, Kyle appeared at my door. He knocked, and I signaled for him to come in.

  “Commander Anderson, I’d like a word.” His face was stern, his brow furrowed.

  Oh fuck. “Sure, sir.”

  Kyle sat in front of me. “By now you know about Aria. I wanted to warn you sooner, but I was forbidden by the Admiral to tell you. He wants her to succeed. He didn’t want to risk you getting upset and approaching her during Indoc and convincing her to quit.”

  The Admiral knew? This was even worse than I imagined. “I understand. I swear I had no idea she planned to be a SEAL.”

  He nodded. “I believe you. But the problem is, the media doesn’t.”

  The media? What the fuck was he talking about? “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand what you are talking about.”

  He grabbed his phone and handed it to me. “Here.”

  My eyes focused on the screen. An article from Daily Mail. I read the headline, and my heart sank.

&
nbsp; “EXCLUSIVE: This is the hunky Navy SEAL boyfriend of Olympic Gold Medalist Aria Clements—who inspired her to become the first female Navy SEAL.”

  What the fuck? There was a fucking picture of me staring at her in the pool at the Del, wearing that ridiculous sparkly pink tail.

  I forced myself to read on. My stomach was completely nauseated as I realized my career was over.

  Aria Clements, 23, had been dating military officer 25-year-old Erik Anderson last summer.

  The couple met in Coronado where he is based at the Naval Amphibious Base.

  Aria, a graduate of Stanford University, won the Olympic Gold medal in synchronized swimming at the last summer games.

  A top graduate of the U.S. Naval Academy in Annapolis, MD, Erik was described in his yearbook as “known for his love of fast cars and faster women.”

  My blood boiled and every muscle in my entire body tensed. My name, my picture was splashed over the internet. I swiped back on his phone to the news feed, and my fears were realized. It was the number one story on the site.

  Fuck. My. Life.

  I slammed my fist into the desk.

  Kyle stood up and placed a hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay, man. This will die down. My name and face were on the cover of People when I married Sara. And I’m still here.”

  “I’m begging you, sir. Please put me on Second Phase and then switch me back to First Phase when she quits. I can’t see her. I can’t be around her.”

  Kyle shook his head. “I’d love to, but my hands are tied. The Admiral believes that you are the only person who can help her pass. You will remain a First Phase instructor.”

  God no. “Sir, no. I can’t. I won’t help her. She lied to me. She betrayed me.”

  “Look Anderson. This is work, suck it up. She’s a job to you now. The thing is everyone believes she is qualified and they want to see a woman graduate. She was in the top ten of her Indoc class. I’m ordering you to help her. Not bend our standards, we will never do that. But you will help her. As her instructor. You are strictly forbidden from seeing her during your off time. I mean it. I’m sorry. This will all blow over once she graduates.”

 

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