Black Desire (A Kelly Black Affair Book 1)

by C. J. Thomas

  I walked past the bar and a man in a three-piece suit lifted his drink, winked, and smiled.

  My skin felt clammy, like it needed a good soak after a night like the one I’d had. The room spun around me, making me dizzy, and with each step closer to the exit, it only seemed to spin faster and faster until I lost all focus on what was happening around me.

  I felt ashamed as I marched through the lobby, like I had done something wrong. I attempted to do everything in my power to avoid any kind of eye contact with the many strange faces swirling around me. I didn’t feel like myself at all.

  When I took my last step before reaching the exit, I lifted my heavy arms, reaching out to push past the gold-trimmed glass revolving doors, and inhaled a deep breath as soon as the outside air hit my face.

  The night air washed over me and, immediately, I shed the weight of all that was inside that building—the people staring, Kelly Black, my fucked up reason for leaving—as the tension in my shoulders began to relax.

  I tipped my head back, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath as if I’d nearly just drowned in my own emotional wreck.

  Then I snapped back to reality when my shoulder was accidently bumped.

  “Excuse me.” The man stopped to apologize and when I waved it off as no big deal, he placed his cell back over his ear and continued on his way.

  The peace I momentarily felt was gone just like that. Sirens and horns honking filled my ears as I reached inside my clutch to pull out my own phone.

  Quickly, I scrolled to find Alex’s number, putting in a 911 text to her.

  Fear lined my face and I didn’t feel like I could trust anybody but her. She was my lifeline, and though we hadn’t talked about what would happen if I ever needed to be saved, I knew she’d understand my text and not hesitate to get in her car and come swoop me up.

  Alex.

  I sighed.

  I was thankful to have her. And not just because she was the only person I could trust to tell everything to, but also because she was the only one I could deal with right now.

  Where are you? Alex responded in a flash.

  My hands trembled as I looked up at the towering building shooting up to the sky.

  I knew exactly where I was, the cross streets and everything. But this was the last place I wanted to be waiting for Alex to come save me. It was too close to Kelly—too close to what just rocked my soul nearly to death.

  There was a café a couple blocks away and I told Alex to meet me there. LA never slept, so even at this hour a café was a safe haven. She said it wasn’t a problem and that she’d be there as soon as she could. I hoofed it to the café, never once looking back.

  This night needed to be over. I needed a break. A rest from everything. Ever since going to work for the Madam, my life was moving too fast to process and finally it had caught up with me.

  All I wanted was to curl up into a tight ball and make myself a cocoon I could stay in and hide forever.

  The bells above the door jingled as I stepped inside the mostly empty café.

  Smells of freshly roasted coffee filled the room and once again I felt like everyone was looking at me. I spotted an empty seat near the window, giving me the perfect view to watch for Alex, and took it before it was gone.

  Alex would be here soon. It wasn’t that far from her apartment, and even though I knew it was late, it had to be her who picked me up. I didn’t want an Uber or have to find myself some other kind of lift. It needed to be Alex. She was the only one who would understand—the only one who could see me so vulnerable. She was my best friend and if anyone was going to see me this fucking weak, I knew that she would be the only one to understand.

  Because, I wasn’t weak.

  No. I was strong.

  The free-spirit who didn’t let things get to me.

  But the way I was feeling tonight was so out of character, I didn’t even recognize the girl staring back at me in the window’s reflection.

  A man’s voice snuck up from behind and made me jump.

  I yelped and covered my mouth, fighting to maintain control over my wild emotions.

  “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” he said. “But did you want to order something?”

  I should have expected that something like this would happen. These types of places hated having people fill their seats who weren’t paying customers. Unlucky for him, I wasn’t in the mood. Nor did I want to be anywhere else while I waited for Alex to come save me, and certainly wasn’t going to risk being seen by standing outside, in the open.

  “I’m waiting for a friend.” I managed to say in a calm, small voice.

  He nodded. “I’ll be back then.”

  “Thanks,” I whispered, retreating back inside myself.

  My arms hugged over my chest as I closed my eyes, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill. The faint pounding of my heart echoed around me like a bass drum off in the distance, mourning for a life taken.

  This wasn’t how I’d expected my first date with Kelly to go. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It was supposed to be magical. I was supposed to fall in love. But now, when I thought of him doing what he did, it was impossible not to shiver and have my entire body be covered in rotten goose-flesh.

  By the time I opened my eyes, Alex was pulling up to the curb. I gathered my things and ran out. She had borrowed one of Nash’s cars and instead of caring about any of that, I slid into the passenger seat, barely able to look her in the eye.

  “Are you okay?” Alex stared at me with concerned eyes.

  I shook my head and hid my face inside my hands. Then I started to cry.

  18

  Kelly

  I clutched my hardened stomach at the pang of guilt I felt for how last night went down with Kendra.

  My fingers twisted the top of the plastic bottle and I shook the container until two antacid tablets fell into the palm of my hand. I popped them in my mouth, munched, and washed them down with water.

  I should have known not to leave her alone. Especially after learning that she didn’t sign the contract. It was a simple, straight-to-the-point document. Words to shield me in the event of a fallout. Nothing more. Nothing less. I didn’t understand why she was so concerned when it came to scribbling her signature.

  One-by-one, my fingers crawled across my office desk as I couldn’t escape the memories of last night. Picking up an orchid flower, I stroked each petal and was reminded of what was supposed to be.

  Maybe Madam was right. Maybe Kendra wasn’t ready to delve into the dark lifestyle I wanted to introduce her to. Or maybe she was interested but wasn’t a good match, like the Madam said. Our personalities didn’t align. After all, what did I know? It was Madam who had the paperwork on all her women—the intuition to properly place them with the perfect clients. After what happened last night, it was clear I knew nothing.

  My hand closed over the flower and I squeezed it into a tight fist, feeling the plant crush against the pressure. Then I tossed it in the trash and glanced at the clock on the wall. It was nearly time.

  I stood. Pulling my jacket off the back of my chair, I stepped out of my office to find Giselle on the phone. She held up her finger and from what I was hearing, I knew I had to stick around and listen to more.

  “Thanks for calling. We’ll be in touch soon.” Giselle set her receiver back in its spot and gave me a look.

  “I have to step out,” I said, pushing my arms through the sleeves. “It shouldn’t be more than an hour.”

  “That was Mario Jimenez.” Her brows raised.

  “Oh yeah?”

  She folded her hands on top of her desk and nodded. “Requested you by name.”

  “Why didn’t you put him through?” I scowled.

  “He doesn’t want to talk on the phone.”

  “Then what did he want?”

  “He requested you meet him in person.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “That you’d get back to him.” She ti
lted her head to the side. “Kelly, he’s curious to know whether or not he should shop around for another lawyer or not.”

  I tilted my head back and rubbed my hand over my face.

  “We need to give him an answer.” Giselle’s eyes widened. “What do you want to do, Kelly?”

  I stepped toward the exit and pulled the door open. “Anything from Julia Mabel?”

  Giselle dropped her gaze and shook her head. “Came up empty.”

  I turned back to the door and let out a heavy breath. Then I stepped out and started walking.

  “Kelly! What do you want to do about Mario?” Giselle yelled through the closing door.

  I lifted my hand and waved her off as I leaped down the stairs.

  Mario deserved a meeting. I’d give him that. But, unfortunately for him, the woman I had a crush on left me last night and I was hoping the Madam could at least tell me that Kendra was okay.

  The sun hit my face as soon as I stepped outside. Flicking my wrist, I checked the time. Madam was running late and I hoped she would be arriving soon. I hated having my time wasted. Madam knew that better than anyone and I was sure she did it on purpose just to piss me off.

  I moved down the sidewalk, thinking that if Mario was guilty, then I wanted him to rot for what he did to Maria. However, if he wasn’t, then I wanted to know why he thought he was the one to be charged with her death.

  My hand slid inside my pocket, pulling out my cell. I dialed Giselle’s desk and as soon as she picked up I said, “Set up a meeting.”

  “You got it.”

  “And Giselle—” I turned to look up the street, “—don’t make any promises. He’s going to have to sell me on why I should represent him.”

  “Of course.” Giselle ended our call just as I caught sight of Madam’s limo.

  It shined like it had been recently waxed and the windows were as dark as black paint. She traveled around the city like a stealth bomber, blending in and going undetected, collecting recon. As soon as it stopped at the curb, Jerome stepped out. “Mr. Black.” He nodded, holding the door open for me to slide inside, which I did.

  The inside smelled of a mixture of polished leather and heady scents distinctly Madam. The leather couches faced each other with Madam facing the front, hiding behind a wide-brimmed hat and donning white gloves. “Kelly, darling. How do you do on this fine afternoon?”

  Jerome shut the door and we pulled onto the road, leaving him behind. “Aren’t we forgetting someone?” I pointed in the direction of Jerome.

  “It gets crowded in here with him. He’s such a large man.” Madam laughed. “Besides, he could use a break from me.” Her hand reached over and patted my knee.

  Naturally, I wondered, why the secrecy? Because, let’s be honest, that was really why Jerome wasn’t invited to come along. “What’s this about?” I asked.

  She sighed and flashed me a thin-lipped smile. “I hate to bring it up. I know you like to think things over before making a decision. Especially when they’re as big as this one, but I’m afraid I’m losing my patience.”

  My eyes narrowed as I couldn’t help but be curious about what she was referring to.

  “Kelly,” her eyes flickered, “if you don’t act now, I’m scared of who will end up representing Blake Stone.”

  “We still have time. These things don’t happen as fast as you may think.”

  She dropped her chin to her chest, causing her forehead to fill with deep lines. “So you’re going to do it?”

  There was a glimmer of hope in her eye, so it hurt me to say, “I’m a bit preoccupied at the moment.”

  She lifted her brow, turned her head, and said, “I see.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “It means that I see.”

  “See what?”

  “See that you’re not interested.”

  “What you’re asking me to do is risk my entire reputation to purposely commit a man to a lifetime behind bars.” Heat flushed through my body.

  “Kelly, dear. That won’t happen.” She smiled.

  “My job is to get people off. It’s the prosecution who are supposed to convict.”

  “I know that, hun.” She batted her lashes at me.

  “Then trust the judicial system to do its job.” I glanced down at my hand on top of my thigh, balled in a tight fist. “I’ve seen the case files. He’ll need a fucking good lawyer to get him off with what the state has on him.”

  “And leave it up to a handful of jurors?” Madam’s brows raised as she smirked. “I don’t like those odds.”

  She hemmed and hawed her way through our conversation and I knew that she wouldn’t let this go until I agreed to her request. Madam was a woman who was used to having her way. And I knew her well enough to know that she wouldn’t stop until she was convinced she was going to win.

  “Kelly, you’re acting like you don’t want to see Blake Stone go away.”

  I cast my gaze out the window. Traffic was insane this time of day, and though I’d been sitting in this car for a good fifteen minutes, we had barely gone more than a couple of blocks.

  “Should I remind you of the lives he ruined?” Madam leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

  “You don’t have to tell me what that asshole did. I get it. And trust me when I say I would like it if I never saw his face or heard his name again.”

  Madam pulled in a deep breath as she sat back in her seat. “Me too, sweetie. What that man did to the reputation of, not only this city, but the entertainment industry—”

  “I know.”

  “Then do it. Be his friend.”

  My brow arched.

  “Then bring him down.” She held a high chin as she intently stared.

  I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, thinking.

  I’d make enemies no matter what decision I made. Whether I won or lost, people would come for me. Too many powerful people wanted to see Stone go down. And many wanted to see him walk. If Stone was convicted, his people would hunt me down. And if he walked, I’d feel like I let my city—the city I loved—down.

  There was no winning this one.

  “Kelly.” Madam reached out to touch me again. “What’s wrong? Is it Kendra?”

  I slowly lifted my head with knitted brows. There was a knowing look on her face and I wondered what she knew that I didn’t.

  “I know you took her to your penthouse.” She crossed her legs and folded her white gloved hands on top of her thigh.

  “Did she tell you that?” I held my breath.

  “I thought about it some more. You were right. I think she will be good for you. A step in the right direction. I can only imagine the pain you must be feeling. The anguish knowing that a heart can only give so much love before there is nothing left.”

  A stone formed in my throat. I stared back at Madam with my eyes beginning to water. I hated her for saying that. Despised her for bringing it up. She didn’t know what it was like; what I’d been through—was still going through. “Remember those photos I showed you of that young woman, murdered?” I asked, needing to change the subject before I let it go any deeper.

  Madam cleared her throat, nodding.

  “The man charged with murdering her called my office today.”

  Her eyes sparkled. “I know.”

  “You know?”

  “Mario Jimenez.” She didn’t miss a beat.

  “It was him. He did that to her.” I watched as she dug in her purse. She pulled out a compact mirror and opened it.

  “I told him to call you.” She reapplied her lipstick.

  “And why would you do that?”

  “Because he has something that we both want.”

  “What would that be?” I frowned.

  “Meet with him. Talk with him yourself. You might be surprised with what you learn.”

  The limo stopped in front of my office building. Jerome was standing in the shade and slowly approached the vehicle when he saw us arrive.
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  “There is reason for me to believe that Mario may be connected to the cartel Stone was working for,” I said.

  “Yes. You see? We should be thanking him for getting caught. Such a pity.” She frowned. “Meet with Mario, then get to work on Stone.”

  Jerome opened the door.

  “And if I don’t?”

  Her face lit up. “I’ll find someone else to do it.”

  19

  Kendra

  Nightmares robbed me of sleep.

  There was nothing more I wanted than the night to be through.

  I blinked. My eyes were finally dry. No more tears, the heaviness gone. And though I still felt numb, a renewed hope filled me as I watched the bedroom floors grow brighter with the sun.

  The bedroom door squeaked open but I didn’t move. I knew who it was. Who was coming for me.

  Alex lifted the covers and cuddled up behind me, spooning me with her tiny arms, hugging me tight. No words were exchanged. She didn’t have to speak. Her actions were what mattered. From the way her cheek pressed firmly against the middle of my back, I knew that she was here for me no matter what.

  I just laid there, staring at the polished wood floor, thinking how the navy blue comforter was a perfect match against the solid white walls. Those bright colors were exactly what I needed to get me back to feeling 100%.

  “I have coffee for you when you’re ready.”

  I liked that Alex didn’t ask questions. She knew that if she waited long enough, I would find the courage to say what it was I knew I had to say. I told her everything, but still, this time it was different.

  “I’ll be out in a couple minutes.” I hugged her hands tight over my heart before she freed them, leaving me alone in bed. “This bed is too comfy to leave.” I tried to sound as playful and carefree as possible but it came out half-assed.

  “You should try sleeping in my bed.” Alex laughed behind me. “Now that is a bed difficult to roll out of.”

  I flipped onto my back and turned my head to find Alex nodding. “Nash.” She smiled, tilting her head to the ceiling with her hands over her heart. “He’s so good to me.”