The Grey God (War of Gods 4)

by Lizzy Ford

  “One more kiss,” he said.

  Her triumph warred with the instinct that warned her she was doomed if she agreed. His large, warm hands drifted down her body to her hips. Jenn cupped Darian’s face with her hands then rose to kiss him lightly again on the lips and walk away. Only what she meant to do and what she did were two different things. The moment her lips touched his, she lingered instead of moving away.

  Their faces inches apart, Jenn looked up into Darian’s eyes.

  “You win,” he whispered and then kissed her.

  Desire flew through her, hot and fast like the strange energy running between them. Jenn’s magic and senses came alive like they did in the immortal world. Darian’s scent and touch overwhelmed her while his hot kisses set fire to a desire stronger than any she’d ever experienced. She could think of nothing more than his bare skin against hers, of the feel of his muscles beneath her fingers.

  “Darian?” Damian’s voice was accompanied by a knock at the door.

  Darian withdrew. Jenn’s eyes opened, the sound snapping her out of the haze she was in. What she’d done—and been about to do—made her step back. Darian crossed to the door.

  Jenn snatched her clothes and fled, Traveling to the one place where she knew the threat and it didn’t confuse her. She opened her eyes and found herself in the locker room at the Black God’s lair. Her hands were shaking and her body on fire with something she’d never felt before. She couldn’t control it, which terrified her.

  She pulled on her shirt and jacket, turning towards her locker without opening it. Blood from whatever the vamps had put in it already pooled on the floor. She rubbed her face and shook out her arms, trying to fling away whatever was in her blood.

  It didn’t work. Jenn paced for a short time, until a vamp entered. Too scattered for a confrontation, Jenn Traveled. Her thoughts turned to the one person she felt comfortable talking to.

  “Jenn?”

  She turned at the master assassin’s low voice. Dusty stood in the corner of a small hotel room, peering out the windows. His cold, chiseled features were bathed in the light of a streetlamp while his room was dark, aside from light lining the cracked bathroom door.

  “Ikir wouldn’t spring for somewhere decent?” she asked, looking around in disgust. The sagging bed, moldy smell, and cracked window did nothing to settle her nerves.

  “I hate living in shit,” Dusty said. He lowered the curtain, dropping the room into darkness. A moment later, a light clicked on. His cold eyes took in her features. “What’s wrong? Jonny do something stupid?”

  “Nah. Him I can handle,” Jenn said. She sat down on a wobbly chair and wiped her face. “Just thought I’d drop in and say hi.”

  “You’re too much like me to do anything without a purpose.”

  “I guess.” Jenn smiled faintly, comforted by the presence of her friend. She and Dusty had been platonic lovers, sharing a bed and their frustrations, until Bianca swept him away. Though she missed her friend, Jenn couldn’t be happier for Dusty. She, too, adored Bianca. “What’re you doing in this hotel? You don’t like to get dirty.”

  “Trying not to touch anything,” Dusty replied. “I’m being stalked. Every inch of this city is crawling with vamps. Perfect place for my new HQ, if I can find the right place.”

  “At least there’s no snow here. I’m sick of the cold weather.”

  “I doubt you came here to escape the cold.” He leveled his blue gaze on her. “You came here to escape something else, though.”

  “Technically I think I’m running from me,” she admitted. “Kind of pointless. I just wanted someone to talk to and thought of you first.”

  “I got time,” he said and sat down in a chair near the windows. “If you’re gonna cry, go see Jule. I don’t deal with that shit.” His faint smile softened the words.

  “It’s not that bad,” she said. “It’s about … Darian.”

  Dusty sighed. “He’s normal now, I hear.”

  “As normal as he’ll ever be.”

  “He couldn’t be normal when I was stuck with him,” Dusty said and muttered a few curses. As the brother charged with watching over Darian, Dusty had been responsible for keeping the Grey God from killing himself and others during his angry teenager stage. Jenn tried not to smile, recalling how frazzled the normally cold, organized assassin had been for months as he tried to juggle fighting the Black God with a teenage god.

  “You raised him well.”

  “I hope I beat some sense into him. It’ll surprise me if I did,” Dusty said.

  “You did. He turned out well.”

  “Obviously not, if you’re here.”

  “It’s nothing he did,” she said, looking down.

  “Did you try to kill him or something? I wouldn’t worry too much, if so.”

  Jenn chuckled and shook her head.

  “This is like a game show. You came here running from yourself and said it’s about Darian,” Dusty summarized. “I think I understand now. You’re falling for him.”

  “No. I mean it’s not like that.”

  “Not like what?”

  “I don’t know, Dusty!”

  “Start from the beginning.”

  “There’s no beginning to start from,” she said, frustrated. “It’s nothing. I just got freaked out. It’s nothing. Really. It’s gone now.”

  He studied her hard. Jenn rolled her eyes and leaned back in her chair. If her mind wasn’t so scattered, she’d have thought it odd he expressed none of the surprise she expected.

  “Jenn, you remember what we learned when we went through training together, about how, when you realize how thirsty you are …”

  “… you’ve already reached the point of dehydration,” she finished. “Yeah. Why?”

  “Think about it. It’s a lot like love.”

  Jenn let his words sink in. “You’re not saying … no, Dusty!”

  “You already passed the point of no return,” he said. “There isn’t shit you can do about it.”

  “One kiss does not mean I’m in … I’m dehydrated!”

  “So it went that far?”

  “What do you mean that far? I’ve gone so much farther with hundreds of men.”

  “Thousands. And you never once came running to me, upset about a kiss,” he pointed out.

  “It’s absurd. I’ve had a lot on mind. I’m just confused.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like … I went to my family’s obelisk in the immortal world. I remember my last day there. I remembered them,” she stumbled, unaccustomed to revealing her past. “How they died. How I wasn’t there for them. How I ran off just before the Schism killed them.”

  “You never mentioned your family before.”

  “I had a husband and a … a daughter. Both killed in the Schism.”

  “I had no idea,” he said. “You still blame yourself for their deaths.”

  “It’s my fault. I should blame myself,” she said. “I wasn’t there for her. My own …” She couldn’t say the words. They’d gone unspoken too long. They didn’t seem real. “Anyway, I broke some immortal law by going back. Darian basically had to trade a life debt to the Others to keep them from taking me. I just … they’re gonna come after me, Dusty.”

  “I’m not sure I understood much of what you just said.”

  She sighed and rubbed her face.

  “But I understand what you’re feeling. You’ve spent your time since the Schism forgetting, only now you can’t. You’re vulnerable, feeling things you shouldn’t be. Right? ”

  She nodded.

  “There’s only one thing that can cause that,” he said. “Dehydration.”

  “It doesn’t make sense.”

  “Exactly. That’s how you know. It hits you when you least expect and certainly don’t want it to. As much as I hate to say this, there’s a reason fate pulls your guard down when it’s time for you to meet your match.”

  “I never thought I’d hear you say something like that!�
�

  “Me, neither. Did I tell you right before Bianca, I started dreaming of my sister?” he asked. “She died before the Schism. I rarely thought about her until that point when I began dreaming about her every night. I thought I was meant to die, and she was warning me.”

  “You did for a short time,” she said, recalling the battle that killed Czerno, the previous Black God, and replaced him with Jonny. “She fixed you.”

  “What I went through before was what you’re going through now. I, too, had my guard pulled down by my past. Nothing else in the world seemed out of place, except for that piece inside of you that you thought you buried.”

  “That’s exactly it,” she said quietly. “Dusty, it can’t happen. If Jonny found out, if the Others grab me, they’ll use me to destroy Darian. I can’t let that happen to him again. I can’t let my emotions interfere with a mission.”

  “When you’re dehydrated, you gotta drink the water,” Dusty teased. “I never would’ve been open to Bianca if there hadn’t been that … change within me.”

  “I won’t do it, Dusty. I won’t put him in danger.”

  “Or become vulnerable to someone else hurting you.”

  “Or become vulnerable to … fuck you, Dusty,” she muttered. “Fine. That’s part of it. But it’s not all about me.”

  “Of course not. You care about the other person in the equation.”

  “You’re not helping.”

  “I’ll tell you the truth, Jenn. It’s very simple.”

  She looked up hopefully.

  “You’re fucked.” He was smiling. “Things will either work out or they won’t. But it’s beyond your control now. What you need to focus on is surviving the next two weeks. After that, whatever happens, happens.”

  “You’re right. I lost sight of my mission,” she said, grateful for the one piece of advice she could stomach. “But he’s with me there, Dusty. How do I protect him?”

  “You don’t. You let him protect himself. Darian has magic far stronger than either of ours. You need to make your choices, and he needs to make his.”

  “It feels like entrapment.”

  “It is.”

  She waited for more. “I guess I’m doomed.”

  “A good assessment. I never saw that one coming, though,” he said. “I could’ve guessed Darian would fall for you the way he followed you around. But I thought you’d fall for someone less … wild.”

  “I thought I’d never fall for anyone,” she retorted. “That was the plan.”

  “You know I’ll keep your secret,” he said. “Now, you’ve got a mission, and so do I.”

  Jenn rose. “Thanks, Dusty.”

  “Take care.”

  She nodded again before closing her eyes and Traveling back to Jonny’s. She appeared before the panoramic window and gazed out of it for a long moment before turning to face the foyer.

  Jonny was there. Jenn jumped, surprised she hadn’t sensed anything.

  “I just wanted you to know I wasn’t selling you out,” he said. “I want to do what’s right for my people, and it made sense to trade you to the Others, if they’d leave me alone.”

  “I understand,” she forced herself to say. “No hard feelings.”

  “Good. I really care about you,” he said, distracted. “Jenn, how did you get to the immortal world?”

  Jenn met his intense gaze. The Black God bristled with contained power. He was calmer than she’d seen him in a while. The air around her felt thicker than usual.

  “I’m not sure. By accident,” she said, recalling Darian’s words about the portal.

  “Charles and Xander are actively looking for the portal,” Jonny said. “A Hunter and an Original Vamp can’t find it, yet you found it by accident.”

  The air around her seized her and shoved her to her knees. Jenn didn’t fight it, instead gathering her magic for a push.

  “Where is it, Jenn?”

  “I don’t know, Jonny.” She kept her voice calm and even.

  “Where did you go after Damian’s?”

  “I went to see a friend.”

  “A friend,” he repeated. “You didn’t go back to the immortal world?”

  “No.” Jenn released her magic, hoping he was still vulnerable to it.

  “You don’t leave here again, Jenn,” he said. She heard his voice break as her magic took hold of him. The clamp around her released. “You understand? You don’t leave here again. Ever.”

  “I understand,” she said.

  He took a step away from her. She glanced up, unhappy at how little of an effect her magic had on him. He was barely fazed now. He shook his head to clear it and walked away, towards the front door.

  Ever.

  Jenn stood, uneasy with his command.

  Chapter Seven

  When Darian turned to find Jenn gone, he knew it was the only reason he hadn’t done something they both might’ve regretted. He released his breath, blood pounding through his body. Her scent still lingered in the air, and he could almost feel her hands on his body again, caressing him in a way that turned him from a god in control of himself into a fawning teenager.

  He wiped his face. She’d been stronger than him. She’d walked away where he couldn’t.

  Maybe Jenn was right. Maybe she could fuck-and-walk just as easily as Claire.

  No. Jenn is not Claire. He knew this just as he knew he’d been smitten by both women.

  Agitated, Darian retreated from the wine cellar to the house. He paced alone in the kitchen. Damian had come to tell him he was taking a special trip elsewhere. He’d given no more details, a sign something was up. Darian felt—not for the first time—that everyone present in the basement that day had an agenda they tried to hide from the others. Except him. He’d thought Jenn didn’t either, but after that kiss …

  He made himself a hamburger, ate it, then raided the fridge. He was hungry for something besides food, but he couldn’t have her. Yully’s shepherd pie and Bianca’s paella did nothing to fill the gnawing hole within him. At last, he gave up trying to make up for it with food and rose from the table.

  A strange commotion in the hallway drew him from his thoughts, and he pushed the kitchen door open. Redheaded Yully and tiny Bianca raced down the hallway towards the foyer, chasing the vamp Charles. He flung open the door and slammed it behind him. The two women stopped.

  “He didn’t eat any of my cats, did he?” Darian demanded, stepping into the hall.

  They turned at his voice, glanced at each other before shaking their heads.

  “What he’d do?” he asked.

  “Nothing really,” Bianca said. “We wanted to make sure he was okay.”

  Dusty’s lifemate was small and shapely with a sunny disposition and caramel features that resembled her brother’s, the Black God. Her eyes glowed with both delight and mischief while Jule’s mate, Yully, appeared less certain. The newest member of their family, Yully wasn’t quite comfortable yet.

  “I don’t think a vamp needs you worrying about him,” Darian said.

  “Oh, he’s not a vamp anymore,” Yully said with her musical Irish lilt. “We fixed that.”

  “We think we fixed it,” Bianca said quickly. “We were going to confirm, but he freaked out.”

  “He won’t be eatin’ anymore of my rabbits,” Yully said with satisfaction.

  “You turned him from a vamp into a uh … nonvamp?” Darian asked, fascinated. “Seriously, you can do that?”

  “Together we can,” Bianca replied. “I did it once to Jonny, long ago, before …” She drifted off, darkness crossing her features.

  At her silence, Yully spoke. “Bianca needed more magic to do it, and I can channel anything. I’m not called the Magician for no reason.”

  “Bianca,” Darian said. “You’re not thinking of trying to change your brother back.”

  The Healer shook her head. “I know that’s not his fate. But I also know he made a mistake long before he became the Black God. I fixed him, but he wasn’t
a fully turned vamp yet. With Yully, I can change even a full vamp back into a human. There might be others like him who want to go back to who they were. I can help them. It’ll be another tool for Damian to use against the vamps.”

  Darian smiled, doubting the White God would remotely agree with the two women before him but proud of them nonetheless.

  “We need more vamps,” Yully said. “We have to try again.”

  “You turn vamps into humans, and I kill Others. We’re quite a family,” Darian said.

  “I don’t like Others,” Yully said darkly. “They’ll come after you if you mess with them, Darian.”

  Darian met her gaze. Raised by a sadistic Other who beat her, the Magician Yully had used the magic of all of them to kill the creature that planned to use her to sever the boundary between mortal and immortal worlds before wiping out Watchers and humans.

  “I can kill them now,” he said. “I promise. Nothing bad will happen to any of us.”

  The two women stared at him quizzically. The awkward lull in talk made him wonder if a certain Oracle had told them otherwise.

  “What am I missing?” he asked uneasily.

  “That’s not what Sofi says,” Yully said at last.

  “I made you cookies, Darian,” Bianca said quickly and started to the kitchen. “We’ll check on Charles later.”

  “Thanks. I’ve grown out of cookies,” he said. Darian resisted the urge to tell her he was no longer the lost man who asked her for cookies every day. He sometimes felt like his family treated him like a child when he’d grown overnight into a god. “Now, what’s going on?”

  “Peanut butter,” she called over her shoulder.

  Dammit. Darian trailed her into the kitchen, unable to turn down her peanut butter cookies. Maybe they would fill the hunger inside him.

  “Now, what did Sofi say?” he asked and seated himself at the breakfast bar.

  “Just that you need us,” Yully said.

  “Darian, you know better,” the Oracle said from the doorway.

  He twisted to look at her. Her eyes were rimmed with red, and her aura was beyond agitated. Bianca and Yully shared a look. Darian was left out of whatever secret knowledge they shared.