Deep Blue Hold (Deep Blue Series)

by Nichols, Amie

  Deep Blue Hold

  Amie Nichols

  Copyright 2013 by Amie Nichols

  Prologue

  I don't know who the bitch was that called me, but she said she was working with someone that would be very interested in any dirt I would have on my son's ex-girlfriend. She told me it would be very lucrative for me if I could come up with some unpalatable information about her. Didn't know why she wanted it, and really didn't care. But I had just the thing for her. I taped the whole thing for my pleasure. Of course, I would need a good sum of money up front, so I can get out of the country first. Not sure of the statute of limitations, but I wasn't going to stick around to find out. I told her what I had and my demands. She was going to talk to her client and get back to me. I had already done some digging myself. I found the one thing the two little ungrateful shits were hiding from me. My son should me kissing the ground I walked on for how I helped him. The bastard is beyond rich. I'm not even allowed to contact him. We'll see about that. Just wait till they find out what I have, they'll be throwing money at me.

  Chapter 1

  Ian

  Driving with Aubrey back to her apartment I feel completely helpless. She was just threatened by her stepmother with a tape. I haven’t the slightest clue what it could be.

  "Talk to me baby, what's going on?" I so desperately don't want her calling Rex. I go to take the phone from her. What can Rex do that I can't?

  "I have to know if he knows!" She screams and grabs her phone back starting to dial. If he knows, why would he know what the hell is on that tape?

  "Did you know?" She yells into the phone and I hear his reply.

  "Baby girl, what's wrong?" I am able to make out Rex's mumbled voice.

  "Did you know there was a tape?" She's sobbing now and it breaks my heart, it actually feels like my heart is torn in two. She is in agony. There is silence on the other end.

  "Rex, please tell me you didn't know?" She is hurting. She is hurting at the thought of Rex’s mistrust.

  "No, what tape? Do you mean a tape of.......?” He is yelling now. "How the hell...do you have it? How did you find out?" By the sound of his voice I would say he didn't know. "Where are you baby girl, I coming to you?" Nooooo, I want to scream. No, please don't tell him. I can't share you right now, I just can't.

  "New York, I think I'm being blackmailed with it," she cries into the phone.

  "Shit baby girl, I didn't know. I swear. He will pay, I swear to you, he will pay." His garbled voice comes through the phone. "I'll be there as soon as I can. We will get it straightened out, I promise."

  I drive us back to the apartment with Aubrey silent, except for her sobbing. I am in uncharted waters here. She's not speaking, and I don't know what to say. I want to hold her, to tell her everything is going to be all right, because I know that I’m not going to let anything hurt her. But she's hurting right now, and I feel helpless.

  When I get her back to the apartment, she runs for the bathroom. I hear her throwing up; loud, painful noises. I walk in to help her, grabbing handfuls of her hair to hold at the nape of her neck with one hand. I rub her back gently with the other. Just when I think she couldn't have anything left in her little body, she heaves again. Dry, agonizing sounds are coming from her poor body leaving me helpless. I hate it. I hate feeling like this. I hate seeing her in so much pain and feeling so powerless.

  I love this girl. I love this girl with all my heart. Her pain is breaking me into a million pieces right now.

  "Aubrey, baby." I'm trying to soothe her as she gets up from the floor. She starts scooping handfuls of water in her mouth rinsing and spitting over and over again. She then takes out her tooth brush, feverishly brushing her teeth. The whole time her eyes are down, and I stand behind her hoping to catch those beautiful green eyes in the mirror.

  She turns around placing her forehead on my chest. I wrap my arms around her trembling body.

  "Are you ready to tell me what's going on?" I whisper as she grabs fistfuls of my shirt burying her face into my chest. Please baby, I'm here, I love you. Tell me what's going on so I can help you.

  I place my hands on her face tilting it up to meet my gaze. What I see is like a knife in the gut. Her eyes are red and puffy from crying, and the fear...ultimate, terrifying fear.

  "Aubrey, I love you" I murmur.

  "Don't say that, Ian, you can't love me." She shakes her head at me, but doesn't let go of my shirt.

  "I can say that because I have never felt surer about anything in my life. I have never felt this way about anyone. I have never said this to anyone." She just shakes her head at me like she can't believe what she is hearing.

  "You don't know me. You don't know my secret. Once you know, you won't love me." She's sobbing again, and the horror in her eyes is greater. Is she scared because of what I will think of her once I know? Is that why she is so upset? Is she upset because I am going to know something bad about her past, and she is afraid she'll lose me?

  "Baby, you could tell me you bombed a city killing thousands of people right now, and I would still love you." I am trying to make light of the situation by teasing. I am really bad at this, but it does get a little smile out of her. And, oh god, do I love that smile.

  She reaches up and wraps her hands around my neck. "I have never felt this way either, but I'm scared, Ian. It's so fast, we've only known each other a week. There's so much we don't know about each other. How can it be love?" She is struggling just like me. Ever since the moment I saw her, I think I loved her, and all I know is that I never want a life without Aubrey Jackson in it.

  "Can we go lay down? I want to hold you in my arms so bad right now." I wrap my arms around her waist and she nods yes. We both strip off our clothes except for our underwear. I pull her to me wrapping my entire body around hers. Just having her in my arms makes me feel better. Her body relaxed finally, not trembling, next to me.

  "I was a crazy out of control teen after my mom died," she starts telling me her story, and I listen.

  "Rex and I sort of had a weird start to our relationship. I used him to get back at a girl in school that was making my life hell. So basically, we were having sex, but it turned into more. We became fast friends, and back then I thought it was love. I got pregnant and neither Rex nor I could stand the thought of terminating it."

  "So we were going to be parents. Scary shit, but we felt like we had no other choice. No one knew, we didn't tell anybody. We were going to wait until I started showing before we told. Rex was a local hero, and I was hated because I was taking his mind off football. I think if people had known, I would have been hung in the middle of the square."

  Aubrey stops, so I bury my face into her hair to let her know that I am still there, and still listening.

  "Rex got a full ride scholarship to Texas A&M. He was even considering turning it down to get a job to support the baby and me. I, of course, was not going to allow that. Rex's mother had taken off when he was fifteen and left Rex with his abusive father, who also happened to be the town drunk. He was living vicariously through Rex. Rex was going to be his meal ticket. I actually heard him say it once. Rex hated his father and couldn't wait to get away from him.

  "One night, when I was a little over four months along, we had decided to watch some TV at Rex's house since his father was supposed to be at work. I only had a little baby bump at that time and we were still hiding the pregnancy. I wore baggy clothes to hide my little bump." Aubrey moves her hand to her stomach. I can hear that she is fighting the urge to cry again. I pull her closer to me and kiss the shell of her ear.

  "Baby, I'm not going anywhere. You are stuck with me. You could tell me anything and I would still love you, I alwa
ys will," I whisper and hear her let out a soft cry.

  "When I got to Rex's house, I just walked in. That's what I did when I knew his father wasn't going to be home. I knew instantly that something was wrong. I wish I had trusted my instincts and left, but it was too late. Once I was in the hall, Jim, Rex's father, had me up against the wall with his hand on my throat......."

  My whole body tenses and it makes her stop talking. I can't help it. I'm trying to listen and not react so she can get through her story since I haven't heard the whole story yet. Just the thought of someone putting their filthy hands on Aubrey in a threatening way, god I feel murderous.

  "Go on baby." I try to relax my body.

  "He started ripping at my clothes. He ripped my shirt off first, and I remember the words he said, like they were just said to me an hour ago. He said, 'I want to have this sweet little cunt too, so I can see what would make my son give up his career.'" Aubrey is shaking now, and so am I, but I have to be strong for her. I need to help her, and I can only do that if I know what I am dealing with. I rub her arm and kiss her ear again.

  "I fought. I was screaming and swinging. I landed one hit on his jaw that really pissed him off. He threw me to the ground and all I remember before I blacked out was the hard kick to the stomach. All I could think about was the baby. I didn't care about me, I just wanted to protect my baby. I remember rolling in a ball to protect my stomach, and then another blow. The next thing I remember is Rex kneeling over me crying trying to get me to wake up. First thing I felt was the pain and the wetness between my legs......." She shudders and stops talking for a second. "There was blood, so much blood."

  "Rex picked me up, and got me to the hospital. I delivered my still born son that night. He was so very tiny. I held him in the palm of my hand and touched his tiny, perfect little feet." She is crying now as she tells me about her son. I feel tears prick my eyes from the hurt and sadness in her voice.

  "I had lost a lot of blood and was tired. I handed our son to Rex. He was swaddled in a tiny blue fluffy blanket that his perfect little face peeked out of. He looked even tinier in Rex's gigantic hands. Rex and I cried for a long time. I cried myself to sleep with Rex by my side, and when I woke up, Rex was gone."

  "I'm so sorry baby, I am so sorry." Is all I can say about her loss, and now I understand the bond that she has with Rex. I still don't like it, but I understand. "What happened to Jim Olsen?" I almost hope he's still alive so I can kill him.

  "Rex found him at the bar and beat him to an inch of his life. He would have killed him if the bartender hadn't called the police. They took Rex in and he was booked. His father was taken to the hospital, the same god damn hospital where I was at. Rex was let out on bail. The word of what happened traveled through our small town like wild fire, but no one knew of the attack on me or about the baby. They all thought that Rex had finally snapped and couldn't take the abuse from his drunken father anymore. Like I said, Rex was a local celebrity. Donors posted his bail. The whole thing was buried, and Rex's record was eventually expunged. Rex came to the hospital once he got out of jail, and went to see his father. He threatened him, told him to leave town and never contact me or him again, and that if he didn't he would kill him. He did. He disappeared and I haven't heard the name Jim Olsen since then. Until today, that is." She turns now to face me. I can tell by the look in her eyes she is expecting me to be horrified and ready to run, but I'm not. I tuck some loose hair behind her ear, kissing her nose.

  "Did he.....did he rape you?"

  "I blacked out, I don't know. If he did, all evidence was hidden by the trauma of the delivery. When Rex found me my panties had been ripped off, but we don't know." She seems like a robot right now, not crying. As if it is all just a fact that she has come to live with. Then the terror returns to her eyes as she looks frantic at me and sits up.

  "Rex and I buried our son. I left for London, and Rex went to A&M, but we talked all the time. That's our bond, that's our story. He's so protective of me, Ian," she says.

  "But if there's a tape.....what is on the tape, Ian?" She is anxious and trembling again. I sit up and pull her into my arms, her head resting on my chest.

  "Everything will be okay. We will figure it out and no one is going to hurt you again. I swear on my life baby, I will never let anything hurt you ever." Hell, what am I going to do? "I love you, Aubrey Jackson," I murmur into her ear and she relaxes into me. We lay back down and I hold her until she falls asleep. My mind is racing and I make sure she is asleep before I slide out of bed, closing the bedroom door behind me.

  I call Sam and I give my best friend of the last 10 years a rundown of the last week. It seems so weird that the man that knows everything about me is just now learning about the woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with. I tell him everything knowing I can trust him with my life, and now with Aubrey's life.

  "Shit man, I guess the first thing we need to do is find Jim Olsen," Sam says not missing a beat.

  "Yeah, and when you find him, I'm going to kill him," I grate into the phone, so glad that I have Sam on my side. He is one bad mother fucker. We have been best friends and brothers since we were in the Special Forces together. Devil Dogs is what they called us, we specialized in reconnaissance missions. Sam is one of the best snipers to come out of the Marines. We’ve been through a lot together. One thing I know for sure, is the man will always have my back, and I will always have his.

  "I know this won't be fun, but you need to get confirmation of the tape. Make sure they have it, and what exactly is on it," Sam says into the phone, already I'm seriously dreading it. Not only do I not want to see what might be on that tape, I also don't want anyone else to see it either. The thought of those creeps Matt and Tandi seeing what could possibly be on it is enough to make me want to burn their eyes out of their heads.

  "And if it is what we think it is, if it is an assault and a rape, I don't think those idiots realize what kind of trouble they could get in for even having it," Sam says. I am glad I called him because he is thinking much clearer than me right now. He tells me he is on it and will update me in a couple of hours. We hang up when there is a knock on the door. I look at the clock and see it is past ten. Oh fucking fantastic , sexy Rexy's here.

  On the other side of the door is none other than Rex Olsen, looking sullen and brooding standing there staring at me. He looks like hell and I can see the fear in his eyes also. He is scared to death at what might be on that tape. I can tell all of this before he even says a word.

  "You must be Ian." He says walking past me not waiting for an invite. "Where is she?" He is looking around the room his shoulders sunk down. This is not the same cocky son of a bitch that I see on TV, this is a man that is broken.

  "She's sleeping," I answer him, and he turns to me as if he is wondering how much I know. "She told me everything," I answer his unasked question.

  "Well shit, so you're the one," he says stepping behind the bar and grabbing a bottle of whiskey. He pours himself a glass then holds up the bottle to offer me a glass. I nod and take a seat on one of the barstools.

  "Excuse me," I say taking a sip of the whiskey, as Rex leans his elbows on the bar.

  "We swore to each other that we would never tell anyone our story unless they were the one we planned to spend the rest of our life with," he says, taking a large drink of his whiskey. "I've never told anybody, I always thought Aubrey was that one for me." Back off BUB she's mine. I don't say it because I almost pity him. I can't imagine what he is fighting with right now. If it was me, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, and it looks like Rex Olsen is struggling with that same fact.

  "I love her and I will do anything to protect her," I say almost as a warning to let him know that she is mine.

  "Yeah, well I love her, too, but she has never loved me the way I love her." He sounds so pathetic I can't even get mad.

  "Have you seen your dad? Do you know what's on the tape?" What was a pathetic hurt man turns into a very pissed off man.
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  "Hell no! When I see him again I'm going to finish what I should've finished six years ago!" He roars and stands to attention. "And I have no idea what is on that tape. Fuck, if it's what......" He's trembling now, his fist clenched like he wants to punch something.

  "Our first step is to find out if there even is a tape, and what is on it," I tell him now at attention too. If he's going to start swinging I want to be ready. I have no doubt I could take him. He's strong, but I was in the Special Forces. I can take down the largest of men easily.

  "Fuck, fuck, fuck.....who's going to watch it?" He is a mess of emotions as his eyes dart around the room, like he doesn't know which way is up. Oh buddy do I know how you're feeling.

  "Neither of you," Aubrey's soft voice comes from the doorway of the bedroom. She is standing there wearing my t-shirt. It's so big on her that it almost reaches her knees. Thank fuck for that! She's mine Rex, and you don't get to see her like that anymore.

  "Baby girl," Rex chokes and walks over to her. With one hand around her waist, he lifts her into a huge bear hug. She returns his hug, but not like she hugs me. She is hugging him like he's her big brother. Her eyes meet mine over his shoulder. She has tears in her eyes and Rex is sobbing not letting her down.

  "Rex, I'm fine....you're crushing me," she chokes out. He finally lets her down, but now has her face in his hands. I go to them and wait patiently as he studies her to makes sure she is okay. She assures him she's fine then steps to my side. I pull her to me, my arm around her waist. God I love her so much. That simple gesture shows me she loves me, too, and she will say it when she's ready. Rex is brooding at the sight of us, turning with a huff to go pour himself another whiskey.

  "If there is a tape, I will be the only one watching it," she says firmly. She takes the glass of whiskey from my hand and downs the rest of the golden liquid. "Thirsty." She smiles up at me and it is the sweetest sight.

  "You're probably dehydrated, you need some water." I run and grab her a bottle from the fridge as she curls up on the couch throwing a blanket over her bare legs. Rex sits in the arm chair next to the couch, his elbows on his knees.