Time Search

by Danele J Rotharmel

  Phoebe stroked the stallion’s nose. Silverfire nickered and shook his mane. “Could we ride Silverfire together? Please? If you ride with me, there’s no way I can fall.” She glanced at him from beneath her lashes. “I’ll make you some more cherry gelatin.”

  “Resorting to bribery, are you?”

  Her hazel eyes twinkled as she nodded. “Pretty please, with cherry gelatin on top?”

  Alex chuckled. “Let me get a bridle, and we’ll see what we can do.”

  ~*~

  Finished shaving, Andrew walked down the hall to his sister’s quarters. Jessica had been injured severely in a car accident, and since that time, she’d been living with him. Pausing outside her suite, he knocked quietly. His sister’s nurse opened the door.

  “How’s she doing today?” he whispered.

  Shaking her head, the nurse said nothing.

  Andrew felt his heart constrict. For over a year, he’d tried his best to help Jessica recover, but she was getting worse every day. The accident ended her ballet career, and in response, she’d sunk into deep depression. He’d tried encouraging her, but the close connection they’d once had seemed lost. She seemed lost. He simply didn’t know what more to do.

  “I managed to get her up this morning if you want to see her,” the nurse whispered.

  Nodding, Andrew stepped inside the dimly lit room. He could see his sister’s wheelchair by a window. Walking over, he laid his hand gently on her shoulder.

  “Hi, pumpkin,” he said softly, brushing her tangled, brown hair from her face. “How are you feeling?”

  Jessica shrugged.

  Andrew studied her. She had bags beneath her eyes, and her expression was full of despair. Andrew glanced down at the blanket covering her lap. The hollow where her left leg should have been was obvious.

  Jessica intercepted his glance. Her face hardened. Turning away, she gazed out the window.

  Stroking her hair, he murmured, “Jess, your physical therapist said you refused to work with her again.”

  Jessica shrugged.

  “You need to work with her if you’re going to get better.”

  Jerking away, Jessica said fiercely, “I can’t get better. My leg is gone. Nothing can change that fact.”

  “I know, but…”

  His voice trailed away as Jessica stared out the window. She’d obviously stopped listening.

  The firm set of his shoulders sagged wearily. How can I help someone who has given up? I just don’t know. I’ve run out of answers.

  ~*~

  The golden bell attached to the door peeled wildly as Agent Ruthford entered Granger’s Flowers. He winced. The scent of lilies was suffocating, and the instrumental, yuppie version of “Beat It” was grating on his nerves.

  Walking up to the counter, he flashed his badge. “I need to see your surveillance videos.”

  ~*~

  When Marc saw Crystal walking through the door, his heart sank all the way to his toes. She didn’t just look bad; she looked terrible. Her color was pasty. Even her lips were pale. She wasn’t wearing any makeup, and her hair was crammed into a tight knot held with bobby pins. He’d never observed Crystal using anything as conventional as bobby pins to hold her hair, and he knew it was a bad sign. She was in a huge sweatshirt and an oversized pair of sweatpants. Her clothes were baggy and extremely frumpy; it was as if she were trying to hide herself in them. Worst of all, she was wearing a mammoth pair of black sunglasses that engulfed most of her face. His heart gave a painful lurch as she tried to walk into the room and hit her shoulder on the doorjamb. She walked a little further and tripped over a chair.

  “Cris,” Zeke said cheerfully, turning from his computer. “Did you have fun…?” Zeke’s voice trailed away as Crystal stumbled across the floor. His shocked eyes flew to Marc.

  Marc’s gaze fell.

  “Cris...?” Zeke said.

  “It went fine,” she said in a dull voice. “I’m just tired.”

  Studying her ghastly appearance, Marc chewed his lip. “Cris,” he said quietly, “are you OK?”

  “Just peachy. Leave me alone.”

  As she sat down at her desk and set her coffee cup beside her elbow, Marc hesitated and walked toward her. “Cris—”

  Turning her black-goggled gaze to him, she said firmly, “Back off.”

  Biting his lip, he came closer. “Cris—”

  “Are you deaf as well as dumb?” she hissed. “I said back off.”

  Marc touched her shoulder gently. She lunged away from him, her elbow knocking over her coffee cup.

  “Great,” she murmured with a hint of tears in her voice. “Just perfect.” Taking a huge handkerchief from her purse, she began wiping up the coffee.

  Marc grabbed a box of tissues and tried to help.

  Swinging around, Crystal spat in an angry voice, “I said back off. I don’t want your help.”

  Ignoring her, Marc tried to give her tissues. She wouldn’t take them. Suddenly, Marc felt Zeke’s hand on his shoulder.

  “Marc, may I see you in the hall for a moment?”

  Nodding, he tried one last time to hand Crystal some tissues. When she ignored him, he set the box by her elbow and followed Zeke into the hall.

  Zeke closed the door and motioned for him to follow. When they were halfway down the corridor, Zeke turned and threw him against the wall.

  “What did you do?” Zeke hissed.

  Marc was stunned. Zeke was the gentlest person he knew. He couldn’t believe that he’d lay violent hands on him.

  Twisting his shirt in his hand, Zeke raised him slowly off the floor. His face was contorted with rage. “Answer me.” He growled. “What did you do?”

  Clutching at Zeke’s hand, Marc stuttered, “Not what you think, I promise. I just kissed her.”

  Zeke thrust his angry face toward him. “A girl doesn’t look like that just because of a kiss.”

  Marc’s gaze fell. “It wasn’t a good kiss,” he whispered. “I lost control. I scared her, and I embarrassed her. But I promise, it was just a kiss.”

  Zeke lowered him slowly to the floor.

  Looking at his friend, Marc decided to get it all out in the open. “You asked me to protect Cris from the wolves, but I became a wolf. She was so upset that she ran away from me.”

  Running a shaking hand over his face, Zeke turned away. Marc could see a strong shudder passing through his body. When Zeke turned back to face him, Marc blinked rapidly. Zeke’s face looked horribly hurt, and his eyes were full of pain and an almost childlike vulnerability.

  “I trusted you,” Zeke said numbly. “I trusted you, and you hurt her and betrayed me.”

  “Zeke, I’m sorry. I’m—”

  Zeke’s face became ferocious. Lunging forward, he pushed Marc against the wall. “It was only a kiss? You promise?”

  “I swear it.”

  “Then you fix this. Do you hear me? I’ll give you ten minutes alone with her, and you fix this. And if you can’t fix it, then clear out. I’ll be Crystal’s field partner, and she and I will work this case together.”

  Marc nodded. A lump rose in his throat making it impossible for him to speak.

  Releasing him, Zeke said in a harsh, threatening voice, “And if you ever make Crystal look like that again, or any other woman at TEMCO for that matter, I’ll see that you’re fired. I don’t care how good of friends we once were. I don’t care how much I used to owe you. You’ll be looking for a new job. Do I make myself clear?”

  Marc nodded.

  Zeke clenched his fists. “And just so there are no misunderstandings, Crystal and Nicole are under my protection. If you mess with them, you mess with me.” Zeke’s voice became a low growl. “And you don’t want to mess with me.”

  Marc nodded. He felt sick inside. He walked down the hall. What harm is there in a kiss in the moonlight? That kiss has just cost me my best friend.

  ~*~

  After jogging in the woods by his lake house, Andrew showered and went to his office
in the west wing. He was glancing through some paperwork when Sandra Jones brought him his midmorning cup of coffee. Sandra was a nice girl with pretty eyes and glossy, black hair. They’d gotten along well in the past, and he hoped that a date with her would go better than his dates with Charlene and Liz.

  As Sandra put the coffee on his desk, he cleared his throat and pasted a smile on his face. “Sandy, would you like to have dinner with me tonight?”

  Sandra’s eyes filled with laughter. “No offense, but not on your life.”

  Andrew blinked rapidly. His mouth fell slightly open. “What?”

  “You’re a nice man, but you’re not really my type.” She grinned. “Besides, I’d rather face a firing squad than that troop of reporters who follow you around.”

  Andrew laughed. “Frankly, I don’t blame you one bit.” Giving her a genuine smile, he held out his hand. “Just friends, then?”

  “Friends suits me fine,” she replied, shaking his hand.

  “Suits me, too,” Andrew said, feeling as if he’d been given a reprieve. He’d be able to tell Paul honestly that he’d asked a woman out, but she’d turned him down flat.

  As Sandra walked out the door and closed it behind her, he chuckled. Her refusal had caught him so off guard that he realized he needed to watch his ego. It was plainly getting out of control. No matter what the media hype said, he obviously wasn’t completely irresistible. Chuckling again, he turned back to his paperwork.

  ~*~

  Sitting in the cramped office of Granger’s Flowers, Agent Ruthford squinted at a wavy TV screen. Images of customers zoomed back and forth as he forwarded through the footage. Suddenly, an image of Drake came into sight.

  Leaning forward, Ruthford slowed the footage down.

  On the video, Drake sauntered over to the counter and looked up at the camera. Giving a cheeky grin, he blew a kiss.

  Ruthford’s eyes narrowed. Drake was saying something. Slowing the footage down even further, he lip-read the words, Did you make s’mores?

  20

  Marc walked into headquarters, shutting the door behind him. Leaning up against the wall, he stared at Crystal’s rigid back. She looked angry, but more than that, she looked hurt. Breathing a prayer, he went to her.

  “Cris,” he said gently, “we need to talk.”

  “I don’t think so.”

  Studying her unyielding face, he noticed for the first time that her lip was slightly split. He felt a wave a shame. He couldn’t believe what he’d done. He reached a finger toward her. “Did I do that?”

  Lunging backward, she hissed, “Hands off.”

  Marc swallowed and lowered his hand. Her huge sunglasses wouldn’t allow him to see her eyes, and for some reason, it seemed incredibly important that he see them. “Will you please take off your sunglasses?” he asked.

  “No.” She opened a file, clearly intending to end their conversation.

  “Cris, I—”

  “Can’t you take a hint?” she spat, refusing to look at him. “Leave me alone.”

  Marc knelt by her side, making sure he wasn’t touching her. “I want to tell you how sorry I am.”

  Crystal gave a crack of harsh laughter. “For what? Kissing me? I’ve been kissed lots of times.”

  Something about the tone of her voice made Marc pause. He knew she was telling the truth but lying at the same time. He didn’t understand what that meant.

  “Regardless,” he said, “I’m sorry.”

  “Forget it. I overreacted. Let’s leave it at that.”

  “We both know you didn’t overreact,” he said in a subdued voice.

  Crystal raised her eyes from her file, peering at him through her black glasses.

  “Cris, please let me see your eyes.”

  She shook her head. “Why did you say I didn’t overreact?”

  He grimaced. The humiliation he was feeling was making it hard to breathe.

  “Why?” she demanded.

  Marc tugged at his collar. His felt himself blush. “We both know I lost control. The kiss I gave you wasn’t loving—it was lustful. You were right to slap me.” As she continued peering at him, he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I don’t want you to think that’s the way I normally behave. I’ve never kissed a woman against her will before. I’ve—”

  She cut him off. “Why did you do it to me?”

  His face felt like it was on fire. He’d never felt more uncomfortable in his life. Sitting back on his heels, he cleared his throat. “You took me by surprise. You looked so beautiful, and your dress was so stunning that—”

  “Great,” she snapped, turning back to her file. “So it was my fault for wearing a pretty dress. Wonderful apology, Marc. It really made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Now, get lost.”

  He rubbed a hand over his face. “It wasn’t your fault. I’m to blame for my own actions. First Thessalonians 4:4 says that we need to learn how to control our desires. It was my responsibility to keep myself in check—not yours. It shouldn’t have mattered what you wore.”

  He could tell she was weighing his words—but she wasn’t offering any more of her own.

  He shifted uncomfortably. Her silence was deafening. After a moment, he said, “You were right. Kisses should be shared by people who care about each other. They shouldn’t be stolen. I was a brute and a thief. You were also right when you said I wasn’t acting as a Christian. I knew I was losing control right before Bronislaw Kaper’s ‘Ballroom Waltz.’ I should’ve sat it out, but I kept dancing. I heard God telling me to stop, but I didn’t. When I kissed you, I was acting in disobedience and sin.”

  Crystal remained silent.

  He studied her face. “You were right about almost everything, but you were wrong about three things. I didn’t kiss you to make fun of you, and I do like you, and I do respect you.” He grimaced. “I just don’t respect myself very much at the moment.”

  She continued peering at him in an unwavering way.

  Giving a shuddering breath, he lowered his eyes. “Please know that I’m deeply sorry.”

  “I believe you.”

  He looked up in relief, but his relief faded when he saw that she still looked upset. Something else was wrong. Horribly wrong.

  “Did something else hurt you besides my kiss?” he asked.

  She inhaled sharply. “Your delightful kiss opened up Pandora’s Box.”

  He felt confused. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

  “Do you know how many times I’ve made a fool of myself? Do you know how many times I’ve been laughed at and ridiculed?” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Do you know how many times I’ve been kissed against my will?”

  Marc felt his heart twist. This was worse than he had imagined. “Oh, Cris—”

  “A group of boys in my high school said I was a zero just like you did, and they had fun taking turns kissing me just like you did.”

  “Cris, I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

  “No, you didn’t,” she said angrily. “You didn’t take the time to find out. You just grabbed me like a sack of potatoes and mauled me around. You were just like Julian and his buddies. They, at least, had the excuse of being stupid teenagers and nonbelievers. You didn’t have either of those excuses. You should have known better.”

  He felt like he had been punched in the gut. “I’m sorry—”

  “After I got home last night, I had the pleasure of reliving that memory and lots of other fun memories, too. Do you know what it’s like to be a laughingstock?”

  “The people who know you don’t laugh at you.”

  Crystal gave a harsh laugh that had no humor in it. “My mother laughed at me all the time.” She peered at him. “You’ve laughed at me, too. Down through the years, I’ve heard you telling quite a few Klutzy Crystal jokes. I clearly remember one about a lightbulb.”

  Marc blinked. He had no defense. He knew he’d done it. “You never seemed to mind the j-jokes,” he stuttered. “You just ignored them.”

  Crys
tal snorted. “Don’t be naïve. No one likes being laughed at. What was I supposed to do? Wail and beat my chest?”

  “I just didn’t think.”

  Her mouth pulled into a firm, straight line. “That seems to be a favorite excuse of yours.”

  He bit his bottom lip. “I’ve behaved terribly toward you. I know I have.”

  She gave a deep sigh. “You haven’t been any worse than most people on campus. It just hurt more coming from you. If I hadn’t cared, I wouldn’t have minded so much.” The anger in her face was replaced by resignation.

  Marc suddenly understood what she meant. Regardless of her bravado on the day they’d become partners, he realized she’d been nursing a crush on him. For how long, he didn’t know. Because of her interest, his actions and words would have been extremely painful to her.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” He hesitated. “Do you still feel that way about me?”

  Crystal shook her head grimly. “Not after last night. Not anymore. Not even a little.”

  The tone of her voice lent truth to her words. Marc felt as if he’d been holding something infinitely precious and hadn’t realized it until he’d thrown it carelessly away.

  His eyes fell. He took a deep, shuddering breath. “It’s better that way. You deserve someone better than me.” As he spoke the words, he knew they were true. “I’m not good enough for you.”

  Crystal’s rigid posture relaxed.

  Rubbing his beard with the back of his hand, he said in a choked voice, “I’ve behaved horribly toward you. And not just last night but for years. I’ve been thoughtless and uncaring. I really am sorry, and I promise never to hurt you again. I want to be your friend. A real friend. One you can depend on. Will you let me?”

  Nodding slowly, Crystal removed her sunglasses.

  Marc’s heart gave a painful, sideways lurch. Her red-rimmed eyes were so swollen that it was obvious she’d spent most of the night crying.

  “I can’t tell you how sorry I am,” he said brokenly.

  “I know you are,” she said softly. “And I forgive you.”

  At her words, a weight rolled from his shoulders. “I can’t make you forget the mean things I’ve said and done, and I can’t give back the kiss that I stole, but is there anything I can do? I’ll do anything to make this better.”