Hidden Monsters (Volkov Bratva Book 4)

by London Miller

  Alex gave her a knowing look. “Honeymoon. At least we know you had a great time.”

  Laughing good-naturedly, Lauren asked, “No one was having a better time than me.”

  “Ew, gross, you—”

  “Maybe Alex was,” Natasha cut in. “Since she crashed Mishca’s car and all.”

  Alex froze and Lauren looked confused before realization dawned. She looked too speechless to respond, but Alex had that covered.

  “Considering that nothing here is really any of your business, I don’t see why you’re even talking.”

  Natasha turned to her with her head held high, the challenge clear in her expression. “Luka made it my business.”

  “When was that exactly?” Alex asked. “Because I’ve been at his house practically every day and he’s been ignoring your calls, or have you not noticed that?”

  “Considering I’m here now, it seems I’m his business, or has he not been fucking me since you were still a minor?”

  “And lately?” Alex retorted, the hot rush of anger flowing through her making her tremble with barely contained rage. “Or is he lost in the sea of other men you see on a day to day basis.”

  “Not when he’s the only one who matters.”

  “But are you the one who matters to him? Because, correct me if I’m wrong, didn’t he leave you a tip before he left?”

  Natasha took a step forward, like she had every intention of hitting Alex, but Lauren got in the middle, and if there was one thing that she knew, it wasn’t to swing wild and hit her.

  She wouldn’t like the consequences of that.

  “That’s enough!” Lauren said in a heated whisper, but it wasn’t enough to keep the attention off them.

  Alex barely chanced a glance in Luka’s direction, but seeing him only reaffirmed everything Natasha had been saying.

  “Alex…” he called after her, but she ignored him, continuing on.

  Sure, she had been spending time with Luka. Sure, he had fucked her as if the world was ending, but what did any of it mean if he wasn’t offering her anything more than that.

  No one might not have questioned their friendship, but she was beginning to see that that friendship had just taken a single step over the edge before jumping right back.

  She needed to let Luka go, especially if the woman he wanted was still Natasha.

  Spinning on her heel, Alex went to the spare bedroom where the coats were tossed on the bed. Mishca was asking Lauren what was going on behind her, but Alex didn’t turn around to check. If the truth came out about Mishca’s car, then she would just own up to it and leave it be.

  Luka wasn’t far behind her though.

  “Alex.”

  “Oh, fuck you! Whatever you have to say, save it. I’m so sick of this circle we keep doing. If it’s not you fighting us, it’s your…well, whatever the hell she is to you!”

  Grabbing her coat, she pushed her arms through the sleeves, pulling her hair free from the neck.

  “So, you’re just going to leave?”

  “Yep.”

  “And you think I’m going to let you?”

  She spun around to face him. “What are you going to do to stop me? You know, Luka…I’m tired of this.”

  Luka stood in the doorway, blocking her only exit, his hands in his pockets. It was clear he wasn’t moving until he was ready. “This?”

  “Us. Me pursuing you when I’m obviously not who you want.”

  “And what gave you that idea, exactly? When I kept you stable as you detoxed? When I gave you everything somebody like me could possibly give?” He pushed off the door, coming so close to her that she could hardly breathe without dragging in his scent. “Or when I finally gave in and fucked you like I wanted to do for the past six weeks?”

  He held her gaze for several moments, letting his words sink in, then said, “You’re not tired of me because I’m sure as shit not tired of you.”

  “And yet, Natasha is here, vying for your attention all night. How did you think it would make me feel, Luka? Seeing her here with you—even if you didn’t invite her,” she was quick to go on when he readied to say more. “Even if you were just being nice in letting her stay… What would you do if one of my exes showed up two days after you fucked me and was hanging all over me?”

  Even the idea of it seemed to anger him, making her swallow as his face changed with emotion. “You know exactly what I would do.”

  And she did. She really did.

  But that didn’t change their current situation.

  She gestured for him to move out of her way, but even though she tried, she knew there was no moving him unless he wanted to move.

  Alex readied to make her request vocal, until his hand cupped her face, his thumb stroking her cheek, always gentle though she knew what those hands were capable of. How could he expect her to move on from him, to even entertain someone else when, with just a simple touch, he ensnared her?

  “Luka…” His name came out as no more than a whisper, but he didn’t seem to mind this.

  “I want you. I want you, Alex.”

  Licking her lips, for once she didn’t back down. “Prove it.”

  The demand was selfish. She knew that, but for once, she didn’t care. When it came to him, she wanted to be selfish. She wanted to have every little bit of him because she would happily give him every last shred of her heart if that was what he wanted.

  “I’ll see at your place.”

  28

  ____

  Kiss Me

  By the time Alex got home for the night, tossing her purse and keys on the couch as she went, she was more than a little mentally exhausted after the night she’d had. She kicked off her heels, lobbing them in the general direction of her bedroom, and shedding her coat. She had never treated her things so carelessly, but it didn’t really matter to her then. Before, on a night like this, she would have more than happily drowned her problems with Luka away with high-priced vodka, and just thinking about that was depressing. Having to depend on alcohol to get through her day at only nineteen was definitely not the highlight of her life.

  Despite how she felt, and the fact that it was nearing three in the morning, and that she’d been at the party most of the day, she didn’t think she would find sleep anytime soon.

  In her bedroom, she tied up her hair, deciding on a shower before she crawled into her bed for the night. She stayed in there far longer than she might have otherwise, letting the heated water wash away the stress. By the time she got out, changing into the kimono she normally wore around her apartment, she felt better. Luka’s words played like a broken record in her head, and even as she tried not to think about it, she couldn’t help but remember the way his lips felt against hers. But just as thoughts of him crossed her mind, so did Mishca.

  His warning still confused her, even if it was one that wasn’t all that surprising. No one would ever be good enough in her brother’s eyes, and while she was little annoyed at that, she didn’t fault him for it. She didn’t doubt that if she had found someone who was nice and not in the life, he would have been a little more accepting, but of course, the one guy who made her heart race was also so deeply involved within the Bratva that there was no way he could ever leave it.

  There was once a time when she had entertained leaving this all behind, too ashamed of the legacy she was born to. She’d thought about finding a guy who was normal in all ways, with a friendly smile and who worked a nine-to-five like the majority of the world…but then Luka came near her and she forgot all about that.

  And worse, once she had fixated on him, there was no one else she wanted, not like she did him. Snow was…Snow was just someone who she went to when she was low. She wished she understood Luka because trying to figure him out was more than a little exhausting, and not for the first time, she wished they led different lives where all the complications that stood in their way vanished.

  Putting it out of her mind for the time being, she grabbed the remote, turning on
the television and flipping through the channels until she found a movie that wouldn’t irritate her in twenty minutes. She tossed the remote back on the bed and headed for the kitchen, thinking about the tea she was going to make when she caught sight of Luka casually lounging on her couch, his dirty, booted feet kicked up on her coffee table.

  Her heart thumped painfully in her chest as she stopped abruptly, his name slipping past her lips as she stared over at him. She shouldn’t have been surprised really. Without ever having talked about it, she knew he was highly skilled at his job, but to appease her own curiosity, she had to know.

  “How did you get in here? I thought I took your key.”

  She remembered the day clearly, the morning after he’d spent the night at her place, the same night they’d kissed outside the pool hall.

  Luka smirked, the corner of his mouth kicking up, revealing one of the dimples in his cheeks. Reclining further, he tilted his head back to see her better. “Picked the lock.”

  His eyes swept over her, lingering on her bare legs. She quickly became aware that she had on nothing more than a thin layer of silk. Trying to maintain some semblance of composure, she held both sides of the kimono as she continued toward the kitchen. She could practically feel his gaze on her back as she went.

  “What time are you leaving?” she called back to him. “Isn’t Loki alone?”

  He got to his feet, going over to a switch on the wall and flipped it up, her fireplace igniting. Once, she had been happy to have that, but now it just felt too intimate.

  “Loki’s fine. I took care of him before coming over here, no worries. And who says I’m leaving?”

  Swallowing, she didn’t bother to answer that. “Is there a reason you’re breaking into my place instead of knocking?”

  Grabbing the metal kettle from the top cabinet, she filled it with water, setting it on one of the burners before turning it on.

  His footsteps were unhurried as he joined her, his presence at her back making her more nervous than she already was. When she turned, slipping past him to get some room, she noticed that his jacket was gone now, along with his boots.

  Him getting comfortable in her apartment when she was too high to notice was one thing, but doing it while they were both completely sober was something else entirely. She didn’t want to think about it, but something about tonight was different, even if she wouldn’t acknowledge it.

  Steam was just emitting from the kettle, and as though it was the most interesting thing in the world, she didn’t take her eyes off it, as least until he forced her to.

  He slid his hands into the pockets of his jeans, the muscles in his biceps straining with the movement. She tried not to, but her eyes betrayed her as she watched the action, wishing she could trace the veins with her fingertips. She looked away before he could notice.

  As he rounded the island, moving toward her at a leisurely pace, she bought time, entering the pantry to peruse the boxes of tea inside, taking a deep breath as she went.

  She didn’t want to look like she was running from him so she grabbed a box without actually reading the label and rejoined him.

  Not looking at him, she asked, “Do you want some? You can grab your own if you don’t want—” she glanced down at the label “—peppermint. In case you think I might poison you…”

  “I don’t drink tea.”

  “Of course not,” she mumbled, going back over to the stove to wait. He was one of the pickiest eaters she knew.

  Folding her arms across her chest, she chewed the inside of her cheek. It was hard facing off with him when she was fully dressed, but with hardly anything on, she needed all the help she could get.

  “Why are you here again? I don’t remember extending an invitation.”

  He looked toward the whistling kettle, turning off the fire beneath it before facing her again. Plucking the box of tea from her hand, he tossed it on the counter.

  Gently, he put a hand around her waist, turning her so that she was facing him before resting his hands on the counter on either side of her, caging her in. She felt the coolness of the granite on her back, the heat of his body closing in around her. From the way his mouth kicked up again as he eyed the part in her robe, it was blatantly obvious that he appreciated the knowledge, even if he couldn’t see anything, and at that thought, blood rushed to her face.

  “I told you I was coming,” he remarked, getting closer if that were possible.

  She thought back to what he’d said before he had left, moments after she could catch her breath again after kissing him. “Not really,” she said finally meeting his gaze. “You weren’t very clear on that.”

  “Wasn’t I?”

  Refusing to bend, she said, “You weren’t clear on a lot of things.”

  “I’m here now. What does that tell you?”

  “Absolutely nothing. You were here two nights ago and I still don’t know what that meant.”

  She’d thought she did, but that assumption had clearly been off.

  “You…no, look at me,” he urged when she’d tried to turn away, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You wanted me, I’m yours.”

  Such pretty words, words that she had longed to hear since the moment that she realized Luka was it for her. It was almost too good to be true. She wasn’t ready to believe that he’d actually said those words.

  She hated feeling vulnerable, showing more than she meant to, but with Luka, even if she tried to put up a front, he’d see right through it. Hating the vulnerability that she felt, she pressed her hand to the center of his chest to push him back a step.

  “But for how long.”

  Ever sincere, he said, “For as long as you’ll have me.”

  “Luka—”

  His hand curled around the base of her neck, tugging her forward as he shut her up with a kiss.

  “Do you really want to fight now?” he whispered against her lips, his other arm going around her waist.

  The answer was no.

  No, she didn’t want to fight him, not about this. Not anymore. Whatever had made him come to her tonight, she wouldn’t question it. She might regret that decision in the morning, but for now, she would enjoy him for as long as she could.

  “But that’s still—”

  “Until someone drags me away, I’m right here. With you. With us. Yeah? And even then, I’m still yours, Alex.”

  He must have sensed the fight drain out of her because his smile grew bigger and he reached for her hand. “One thing…”

  The tea that she had been so adamant about was quickly forgotten as he led the way back to the living room, taking a seat on the couch before pulling her down on top of him. Her hands flew to his shoulders to steady herself, and she was intimately aware of their new position and how the folds of her kimono parted further, barely hiding anything anymore.

  “That’s for you,” he said, gesturing with a tilt of his head to the papers neatly folded on the table in front of them that had gone unnoticed when she’d first noticed him.

  Without moving off him, she reached back for them, her breath stuttering as his hands drifted to her thighs, slipping beneath the material to skim his fingers over her waist. As she read them, she was confused, trying to decipher what they were, until she made it to the second page.

  Test results. And because he was the one showing them to her, she knew they were his. If there was any doubt as to where this night was heading, they were put to rest now.

  Last time had been spontaneous. This…this was planned.

  “This wasn’t necessary, Luka,” she mumbled, dropping the pages back on the table.

  “But it was.” The hand at the small of her back urged her closer, and as he touched her, she laid her hands on his chest, feeling the heat of his skin through it. “This is easy. The attraction is here. That need I feel for you has always been here, won’t deny that. I want you to trust me…completely. This was just so you never had to doubt that.”

  Her own were tucked away in a drawer i
n her room. In as few words as possible, she told him of her own, and the birth control shot she had gotten that day.

  “Okay.”

  That was the best he could say, because really? What more was there to say? She met his gaze as her hands went to the hem of his shirt and stayed there.

  He said, “I’ve never been in a relationship, never really wanted one, so I can’t tell you I’ll be any good at whatever the fuck we’re doing. When you need me, I’ll be there. Need something? I’ll make sure you get it. As I said, so long as you’ll have me, I’m yours.”

  “And you? What do you want?”

  He hesitated, as if this wasn’t something he had ever considered. “I…I need you to be patient with me. I won’t get this right the first time around, but I’ll try…for you.”

  She fell silent again, pleased with his answer, but not knowing what else to say.

  It was easier to imagine, fantasize about how this would happen, but now that they were here, she didn’t know how to proceed. It felt like, though not for the first time, he was actually seeing her.

  Not as Alex, the addict…

  Or Alex, the boss’ little sister or daughter…

  But just as herself.

  It might have been easier to ignore the way her brain was working overtime if he’d come for her fast and unrestrained, ripping her clothes off, with no time to truly think it all through. This was careful, and while she was nervous straddling his lap, she was all too aware what was happening to them.

  “I only ever wanted you,” she whispered, her words lingering in the air between them.

  This time, his answer was in the form of a kiss.

  It was slow, languid, and she finally gave herself over to it. A part of her had always felt that this…this spark between them would never dull and this moment was inevitable.

  She was right.

  His hands slipped around her toward the back of her thighs, and easily, he stood with her in his arms, carrying her to the bedroom. He didn’t bother to close the door behind them. It wasn’t as if it was needed.

  Alex gasped as she was tossed backward, bouncing twice before settling on the bed.