The Final Goodbye

by Brittney Sahin

  This was their third kiss, but the first real one, with her mouth parting and his tongue twining with hers. And part of him hated it would be their last.

  She didn’t say anything, and so he left without a word, but he pressed his back to the closed door and remained in the hall, trying to digest the moment when he’d fucked up and pulled her into his arms.

  But was it really a mistake?

  Riley was Nate’s girl.

  Will always be his.

  But he wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to wrap his head around that idea.

  He tapped at the door a minute later, not sure if she’d even open it.

  “Yeah?” she answered.

  “Can I see you?”

  A few quiet seconds passed before the door creaked open.

  She tugged her lip between her teeth and studied him through a space of only six or so inches.

  “I know what happened between us can never happen again,” he said in a low voice as his gaze moved up to her eyes.

  She inhaled a breath through her nose, and he waited for her to exhale before he spoke again.

  “I’d like a second chance at our last time.” He searched her eyes for recognition, to see if she understood his intention. And when the door opened wide, and she allowed him in, he barreled at her with barely any restraint. Years and years of holding back had caged him, and now he was free.

  But he only had a few minutes before he’d need to be once again restrained.

  He curved his hands around her ass, prompting her to lift her legs up and around his hips. She held tight to his frame as he claimed her mouth, his tongue diving back in, greedy for more.

  Her back hit the wall, and he held her there as he continued to kiss her with everything he had.

  A groan tore from deep within his chest, and she responded by tilting her head to the side, allowing his mouth access to her neck. His erection pressed against her as he sucked at her smooth skin.

  “Ben . . .” She said his name between moans. “Oh, God—”

  He captured her last words with his mouth, kissing her hard, probably bruising her lips, and he knew he needed to back the hell down and soon.

  There probably wouldn’t be a pastor in town, or even in the entire state, who’d forgive him for lusting after his best friend’s woman—especially after spreading his ashes.

  He finally dragged his lips from hers, which was damn painful to do. He guided her legs down to the floor. The look in her eyes matched what he felt on the inside: regret.

  “Goodnight,” he whispered and looked away from her, too broken in that moment to say or do anything else.

  Chapter Nine

  Only a few rows separated Ben and Riley as they waited at the gate for their flight. She’d purposefully sat as far away as possible, but kept him in her line of sight. She wasn’t sure why, but being able to see his face whenever she wanted gave her a strange sense of comfort.

  Ben had knocked on her door later last night, but when she’d opened it, all she’d found were a basket of essential oils and his scribbled notes on how to use them. She was the holistic remedy expert and didn’t need his advice. But . . . she followed his orders anyway.

  When they’d met in the lobby to head to the airport, she’d said thank you, but not much else, since his face had been drawn so tight he’d looked like a man in the middle of a war-torn battle zone.

  It had been an awkward ride to Asheville, without much in the way of conversation between them, but she’d had no clue what to say to him after what happened last night. And apparently, he hadn’t either.

  Ben had kissed her twice.

  And she hadn’t just let him—she’d kissed him back. Hard.

  Her fingers brushed over her lips at the memory of his mouth on hers.

  Daniel had never kissed her like that.

  Daniel had never made her feel so much from one smoldering look, either. He’d been a logical option for her, but there’d never been much passion between them. Not for her, at least.

  Last night with Ben, it had been one wild blur of a ride. And they had barely touched. She couldn’t even begin to imagine what sex would be like with him. Well, actually, she’d imagined it a lot over the years and hated herself for it. But after last night, she realized her fantasies wouldn’t live up to reality.

  It had been nothing like the two soft and tender kisses from her youth. No, last night had been laced with so much passion she’d worried she would orgasm from the touch of his mouth on her neck alone.

  His ball cap was on and pulled down low, and his thumbs were working fast on his smartphone. She grabbed her cell out of her purse, answered a few of Mandy’s and Daniel’s texts, then scrolled through her contacts.

  She had entered Ben’s number yesterday in case they got split up on the trail, but hadn’t gotten around to deleting it yet. But instead of erasing it now like she should have, she sent him a message.

  Riley: Why’d you kiss me?

  Her thumb hovered above the little blue arrow. There was an intense discomfort in the pit of her stomach, but she did it—she hit send.

  She looked up and glanced his way, and his eyes met hers. His gaze was intense. Almost too focused, and so she forced herself to look back at her screen.

  Three little dots popped up a moment later. He was typing.

  She closed her eyes, waiting for her phone to alert her to the text, and when it did, her stomach squeezed with anticipation.

  Ben: It should never have happened.

  Riley: It shouldn’t have happened. We both know that. But . . . how did it happen?

  The little bubbles as he typed remained like a constant tease until the text came through.

  Ben: Kiss = two mouths touch. With tongue and without. “With tongue” is also known as French kissing. But honestly, you did much better in school than me. Perhaps you could provide an adequate definition.

  Of course, he’d give her a sarcastic response.

  Riley: Okay, smart-ass. But WHY did we kiss?

  Ben: You fell onto my mouth. Accident?

  Ben now swiped at his phone as if breezing through images on his screen without a care in the world. It annoyed the hell out of her, and she repositioned her thumbs on the phone and quickly typed.

  Riley: Sure. And the second time, when you barreled into my room?

  She waited for Mr. Baseball’s response, but instead, his voice traveled through the air, hitting her a minute later—his face tense, his expression hard. And his phone was to his ear.

  Before she could go see what was going on, her own phone began vibrating.

  It was Mandy.

  “Uh, hello?” She stood and glanced at the departure time on the gate. Five more minutes until they’d begin boarding.

  “You might want to sit down for this,” Mandy said softly.

  “That’s my mom’s line. Why are you using her line?”

  “Because someone else was just murdered.”

  * * *

  “You owe me, Sheriff.” He paused for a moment. “Yeah, and I remember what you said to me: ‘If you ever need a favor, you can call me anytime.’ Well, I’m calling in that favor.” Ben stood before her with his head bowed and his thumb and middle finger gripping his temples. “I want access to the case. I want to be part of the investigation.”

  Riley’s nerves were a tangled mess. The flight from Asheville to Atlanta had been unbearable. But now, waiting for their connecting flight, had her even more on edge.

  She couldn’t believe another person had been murdered. And, from what Mandy had heard, killed in the same way. Chest wound and knife to the throat.

  Was Lydia Harper really gone? Mandy had caught her hooking up with Bobby just last week. And now . . .

  How could both Ralph and a twenty-seven-year-old with a promising future be dead?

  Was there really a serial killer in her small town? Was that what this was?

  A slow roll of fear moved through her, and she tensed.

  This
can’t be happening.

  Ben made a tsk noise, which had her eyes flickering back up to his tall frame. “I don’t give a flying fuck what you say.” He dropped the phone a moment later, and she assumed he’d been hung up on.

  “Guessing that didn’t go well.”

  He tucked his cell into his jeans pocket and sat down next to her. His fingers swept up to the bruise on her cheek, his eyes narrowing as he surveyed the damage.

  He dropped his hand a moment later. “Two people killed in the exact same way.” His eyes darkened, anger blooming in his irises.

  “I guess the police can rule out a student,” she said softly. “But, do you really think the sheriff will let you in on the case?”

  He leaned back. “He’s a stubborn motherfu—” He stopped himself and glanced over at her. “I’ll make sure I get the case files, with or without his permission. Don’t worry.”

  But should she be worried? Ben wanted to help track down a killer, which meant it could put a target on his back. Who the hell knew the motive of the murderer? What if he or she decided to make Ben the next victim?

  She couldn’t lose him, too. Not when she’d just gotten him back.

  Her stomach twisted at her last thought. She didn’t have him. He wasn’t hers to have any more. And last night only further complicated the truth she knew she had to digest.

  He’d leave when this was over.

  God, he’d been a major part of her life back in the day, and every fiber of her being craved for him to be a part of her life again, despite how much it had hurt when he left.

  “Why does the sheriff owe you a favor?” she asked when Ben didn’t say anything else.

  He rubbed his face a few times as if trying to wipe away some of his tension. His jaw was stubbly, and the memory of the five-o’clock shadow, prickly against her skin last night, came to mind.

  “You know Charlize, his daughter, right?”

  Small towns meant you pretty much knew everyone. Charlize was three years younger than they were, so Riley had never hung out with her back in school. “Of course.”

  “She got into some trouble in Vegas two years ago, and I discreetly helped her out.”

  Her mouth rounded in understanding. Riley’s mom had vaguely overheard gossip about that, but she’d never known if it were true. “Oh. Wow.”

  He shrugged and sat up straighter. “It was a shit move for me to bring that up.”

  “But if you think you can help the case . . .” She allowed her voice to trail off, not really sure what else to say.

  “I’m obviously not a cop. I mostly handle private security stuff. But if we’re dealing with a serial killer”—he swallowed—“I’d like to assist.”

  “I’m sure the sheriff will come around. If not, well, like you said, you can help out anyway.” She forced her lips to curve into a smile. “Just don’t get arrested or anything.”

  “I’ll do my best not to.” He smiled back.

  Her eyes cruised the terminal, and she checked the boarding time.

  “Is there anything else you discovered about Ralph’s death you haven’t told me?”

  He glanced around, as if taking note of all of the people, murmured voices, and constant flight announcements sounding overhead. “Not really. The kill was clean. No weapon in sight. The room wasn’t tampered with. No sign of struggle. Basically, they have nothing.”

  He sounded detached as if Ralph hadn’t been like a second father to him. She couldn’t help but wonder if being in the military had changed his outlook on death.

  “Did Ralph know the murdered woman?”

  She thought about the intern, Lydia Harper. Had she and Ralph ever crossed paths? She highly doubted that. Lydia wasn’t from Alabama, either. She’d moved to town for her internship at the hospital.

  “I don’t think so.”

  “Hm.” His mouth tightened and his brows lowered in thought as he reached for his phone again.

  “Who are you calling?”

  “A friend. I’m not putting much faith in the sheriff to let me in, so I need to make sure I have the new case files waiting for me when I get back home.”

  “Home.” She whispered the word, her gaze dropping to the floor. “You said home. I, uh, didn’t think you thought of it like that anymore.”

  “Always have. Always will.”

  Chapter Ten

  “I don’t know what to say.”

  “What if it had been you? What if you were the doctor this killer—” Her mom pressed her fingertips to her closed lips.

  Riley got off her stool, came around the kitchen island, and rubbed her mom’s back. “I’m okay, though.”

  “I know, but this deranged maniac is on the loose, and we don’t have a clue as to why the hell he’s doing this.” Her nostrils flared. “I don’t like the idea of you going to work today.”

  Two of her clients had canceled, too afraid to even go outside. But they also had severe anxiety disorders, so she could understand how a potential serial killer on the loose would be even more disturbing.

  “It’s daylight. I’ll be fine.” Riley snatched a piece of buttered toast off the plate in front of her.

  “Have you spoken to Daniel since you got back last night?” A dyed-blonde brow raised in question. “Lydia was his resident. I’m sure he’s upset.”

  She took a bite of the toast and slouched back onto the stool. “He called me a few times last night, but I wasn’t up for talking. I’ll call him during lunch, though, and give him my condolences.”

  She nodded. “He’s a good man. You should consider—”

  “I know he is, but things are over between us.”

  Her mom frowned. “Okay.”

  Before Riley could say anything else, her phone rang.

  “Who’d be calling this early?” She snatched Riley’s cell off the counter and glanced at it. “Ben?” She handed her the phone. “You still haven’t told me how the weekend went.”

  “We spread ashes. It was depressing. Nothing to say.” Her voice was clipped, and she blew out an irritated breath, wondering why she’d obeyed Ben’s orders to stay at her parents’ house.

  He’d given her two options when they’d gotten home. The second choice of him parking outside her door day and night had been out of the question.

  But now that she was under what felt like the Spanish Inquisition, she wondered if having Ben outside her home wasn’t such a bad idea.

  She left the kitchen and went into the living room, finally answering.

  “Hey, you got a second?” he asked straight away.

  “Uh, yeah. I’m about to head to work.”

  “You weren’t planning on going there alone, right?”

  “I was planning on walking.” She dropped down onto the leather couch. “Alone.”

  “Riley,” he hissed. “Really?”

  “It’s daylight. No one is going to attack me on the streets.”

  “And you know this how?” A mumbled curse cracked through the phone line. “Shit, it doesn’t matter right now, anyway. In about two minutes, you’re going to be getting a call from the sheriff.”

  “What? Why?” She sat upright, her pulse skyrocketing.

  “They want to question you. You were like family to Ralph.”

  “Oh. I was wondering when that would happen. Surprised it wasn’t last week.”

  “Yeah, well, they were moving slow last week, focusing on his students; but it looks like this new homicide has lit a fire under their asses.”

  “And how do you know they’re going to call?”

  Silence.

  “Ben . . .?”

  More silence. Then, “Just be ready in ten minutes. I’m on my way.”

  “What? No.”

  The line was dead.

  * * *

  “We didn’t get to chat at the wake, but oh my, it’s so good to see you. You certainly look different. Such a man.” Her mom reached out and bear-hugged Ben, and then proceeded to squeeze his biceps.

  And
this was why she never brought men home. Even Daniel. Her parents had only spent a couple of evenings with him during their entire relationship.

  “Mom, you can let go now.”

  Her mom’s cheeks were bright, and any evidence of her earlier tears had vanished. “Baby girl, I’ve known this boy since his circumcision.”

  Ben coughed into a closed hand, and it was Riley’s face now going crimson. “Okay, well, we need to be going.”

  They were standing in the foyer of her parents’ house, the door still wide open, and she hoped they could make a quick exit before her mom said anything else humiliating.

  Riley might have been thirty-two, but she was still very much capable of being embarrassed by her mother.

  “It’s been a pleasure. But like Ri said, we should go.”

  “‘Ri,’ huh?” Her mom’s brows rose, and her gaze swept from Ben’s sneakers, up his denim legs, and to the long-sleeved black cotton shirt. His muscles were visible beneath, even though it wasn’t a clingy fabric.

  “We need to go,” Riley mumbled, then kissed her mom on the cheek.

  “You know, Riley saw you play baseball in Los Angeles. Did she tell you that?”

  Her heart nearly died at her mom’s words. Why had she ever even admitted that to her?

  “That was right before you blew out your shoulder and had to retire,” her mom continued, making it so much worse.

  Riley nudged Ben in the arm with a closed fist, urging him to leave.

  Once inside his rental SUV, she strapped on her belt and focused out the window, praying Ben wouldn’t mention the whole baseball thing.

  “When did you see me?” His words sounded stuck in his throat.

  She faced him as he reversed out of the driveway. They had about a five-minute ride to the sheriff’s station, which was five minutes too long.

  She rubbed her sore knee for a moment as she thought about what to say. When his hand moved across the gears to touch her thigh, she sucked in a sharp breath.

  “Still bothering you? The oils didn’t work?” There was a grim twist of his mouth as he pulled back his hand.