by Amber Garza
Why now?
It was more than I could bear. I shook his arm off.
“Hey, I feel bad about our last conversation. I just want you to know that Scarlet and I are not together,” he said.
Ignoring the urge to turn around and hear him out, I slipped into my car. Without a response or backward glance, I drove away.
When I got home, Mom’s car was parked out front. I was starting to think she didn’t work anymore. Ever since Dad showed up she was home most afternoons. Years ago I would have given anything for this, now it just annoyed me. It was nearly impossible to process all the things going on in my life with her breathing down my neck.
As I dropped my backpack on the ground, I heard voices. I stopped, listened.
“Where was he?” Mom said, then paused.
“What time was this?” she asked.
My chest tightened. Who was she on the phone with and what were they talking about? Was it about my meeting with Dad? If Mom found out she’d put a stop to it for sure. Then I’d never see him again.
“Okay, thanks for telling me. I’ll take care of it.”
I followed her voice into the kitchen. She sat at the table, her shoulders hunched over and the phone pressed to her ear. Her head snapped up when my feet hit the linoleum.
“I better go. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Who was that?” I asked, the minute she clicked off.
“Just a friend.” She stood. “Wanna snack?”
When did my mom turn into Suzy Homemaker?
I shook my head. “Nah. I’m gonna do my homework.” As I trudged into my room, I wished I could call Isaac and talk to him about everything. He’d know exactly what to do.
Chapter Twelve
The next few weeks went by without incident. In fact, they were downright boring. Tanner kept ignoring me, Isaac didn’t call and there was no trace of my dad. Even Mom seemed to relax and settle back into her normal routine. She must have assumed Dad had vanished like all the other times. There were moments when I wondered if he had taken off too, but I didn’t want to believe it. I held out hope of seeing him again.
That day arrived at the end of January. It was a Saturday morning and we were out of coffee beans at home, so I headed to a coffee shop to pick up a mocha. My hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail and I didn’t have on any makeup. It was the kind of morning that I prayed I wouldn’t run into anyone. So, of course I saw everyone I knew.
Worse yet, Tanner was one of them. The minute I spotted him standing in line a few people in front of me, I groaned. I thought about slipping out unnoticed but it was too late. He’d already seen me.
Lowering my head down, I held a hand over my face and waited for him to order his drink and leave. I didn’t dare look up until it was my turn to order.
Before I could open my mouth the perky girl behind the counter said, “We already have your mocha right over there.” She pointed to the pick-up counter where a large white cup sat.
I furrowed my brows in confusion.
“The gentleman over there bought it for you.”
I didn’t even have to follow her finger to know who she referred to. It was just like Tanner to do something like that. As sweet as it was, it was also misleading. The whole wishy-washy act was really getting old. I plucked the cup off the counter and mulled over how to respond.
In the end, I decided to just say thank you and leave. I needed to be polite but I didn’t need to stay and hang out with him. When I turned, I almost dropped my hot coffee.
My assumption had been incorrect. It wasn’t Tanner who had bought my coffee, it was Dad. He looked so different from the previous times I’d seen him. He was clean-shaven and had on a crisp pair of jeans. Glancing around the bustling coffee shop, I didn’t see Tanner at all. He must have raced out the minute he got his drink.
My heart hurt at the realization.
“Thank you,” I said to the strange man who had my same eyes and nose. It had always been funny to me that I didn’t resemble Mom that much. In the one picture I’d seen of my dad I couldn’t quite see how much we looked alike. But now that we stood face-to-face, I knew who I favored in the looks department.
“I told you I’d take you to coffee.” He smiled and held out his arm. “It’s our first father-daughter date.”
Tentatively, I crooked my arm through his. He led me outside into the cold morning air. His truck was parked out front and he led me to it. When we approached, I glanced inside and was grateful to see that it was empty.
“I’d like to take you somewhere.”
My stomach twisted. “Where?”
“It’s a surprise.”
“I don’t know. I kinda need to get home.”
“It won’t take long, I promise.”
No, Mackenzie. Don’t go with him. Whispers of warning floated through my mind, telling me not to trust him.
“Please?” He looked so desperate for me to go. I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting his feelings. He had come all this way for me. He’d been making changes in his life for me. Didn’t I owe this to him? Ignoring the still, small voice, I nodded and got into his truck.
My first indication that something was wrong was that he drove way too fast. His earlier ease had dissipated and he seemed on edge. His hands trembled as he white-knuckled the steering wheel. I fought to keep my nerves steady as we barreled down the street. Colors blurred past, making me dizzy.
“Where are we going?” My voice sounded frightened and I scolded myself. So much for keeping my anxiety under wraps. The coffee wasn’t helping, so I set it down in a cup holder. When Dad took a turn too sharply, liquid splashed out of cup, coating the lid in chocolate.
“You’ll see.” Even though he attempted a smile it came off looking creepy. Something was off, I could tell.
Why had I trusted him in the first place? I was always doing stupid things. When would I learn?
I reached into the pocket of my sweat pants but my phone wasn’t inside. Then I remembered leaving my purse and phone at home and only grabbing my wallet and keys as I headed out the door that morning. Cursing myself, I started plotting my escape. The car door was unlocked so maybe I could open it and spring out. Only Dad was driving so fast, I’d probably kill myself on impact. All I needed was for him to slow down, then I would make a run for it.
Glancing up at the rearview mirror, my heart stopped. It was him. The man who was with Dad the last two times I’d seen him. He sat behind us. How had I missed him earlier? The man leaned toward me and I gasped, clutching my chest.
“What’s wrong?” Dad asked.
“Who is he?”
“Who?” Dad’s eyes shifted back and forth.
“The guy in the back seat.”
“There’s no one in the back seat.” Dad looked over at me like I was crazy. “It’s just you and me.”
Maybe I was hallucinating. Perhaps the stress of the situation was causing me to imagine things. I closed my eyes and took deep, cleansing my breaths. I needed to calm down. When I re-opened them the man was still there. He flashed me a grotesque smile. Goosebumps covered my neck, broke out all over my back. Cold sweat formed under my armpits.
A shrill ringing startled me. Dad shoved his fingers into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a phone.
“Hello.” His tone was impatient. He waited a beat and then said, “Yeah. I have what you want. We’re on our way.”
I froze.
“What was that about?” I asked, finding it nearly impossible to breathe. It felt like someone sat on my windpipe.
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” He tucked the phone back into his pocket.
We were on the freeway now, driving out of town. Dread descended on me.
What had I done?
“Kenzie,” a familiar voice hissed from the backseat. It made my blood run cold.
Chapter Thirteen
I glanced in the rearview mirror. The man in the back grinned. As he did, his face went black. His eyes, mouth
and nose disappeared into the inkiness. Pretty soon it was nothing but a black hole.
A shadow.
Wesley.
Mentally kicking myself, I remembered all the times Wesley told me of his relationship with my dad. I should have known the demon still had a hold on him. Hadn’t Wesley warned me about this when he possessed my mom? It was just that when Dad told me he was going to church I believed God had changed him.
I wanted to believe he had been transformed the same way I had.
Only now I knew the truth. I just hoped it wasn’t too late.
“Well, well,” Wesley spoke in his animal- like voice. “We meet again. If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were stalking me.” He chuckled.
I stiffened. My back went rigid against the torn vinyl seat. Glancing out the window, I thought back over my escape plan.
As if reading my mind, Wesley said. “Do it. See if you can survive the landing.”
Memories of the bridge taunted me - the icy evening air, the water rushing under my feet, Wesley goading me to jump. I whispered prayers under my breath, wishing Isaac could rescue me like he had that awful summer night.
“You never learn, do you?” Wesley continued. “You think you can get free from me, but I always reel you back in. I know you so well, Kenzie. You’ll never be rid of me.”
He was right. It was like being trapped in a nightmare, or like a hamster running on a wheel. No matter how hard I fought or how far I ran, he continually caught up to me and infiltrated himself back into my life.
It had been like this since childhood. He was the sadness and anger I felt, the self-loathing and hatred. He was the temptation, the evil voice, the nightmares that filled my dreams. He told me lies I wanted to believe and seduced me with things I never should have desired. I hated him and yet found him attractive at the same time. My head spun, my stomach lurched.
Would I ever be free?
The car stopped and I took in my surroundings. I had no idea where we were. Frantic, I scanned the area for a landmark I recognized. Unfortunately, nothing looked familiar. In fact, we seemed to be out in the middle of nowhere. We were surrounded by farmland, parked in front of the only house for miles.
How would I ever get away? Where could I run where I wouldn’t be found?
“Wait here,” Dad’s voice was gruff. “I’ll be right back.” He got out of the car.
“Don’t even think of running. You won’t get far,” Wesley said.
I glared at him, hatred radiating from my eyes. Then I said the one word that would make him cower. “Jesus.”
Smoke filled the back seat. The interior of the car smelled like charcoal. I could hear Dad talking to another man outside. The passenger door was still unlocked, and for that I was grateful. Dad probably thought I was naïve enough to stay put and act like an obedient daughter.
Without waiting around to find out what my big surprise was, I bolted from the car. I ran as fast as I could to get away from the house. Desperate voices rose behind me.
“Kenzie,” Dad hollered.
“You owe us, David. You better grab her.” Another man said.
I felt sick. Bile rose in my throat, but I kept running. Moisture slicked my forehead, my legs tired. Footsteps bounded behind me but I didn’t turn. I kept my face forward, ran through tall weeds and open fields of dead grass. There was a road up ahead but no sign of life. How far would I have to run to find help? The prospect seemed daunting. Impossible.
But I couldn’t stop. Clearly, whatever Dad had planned for me was bad. Shaking my head, I tried to clear my thoughts. I couldn’t think of that right now, because it would only mess with my mind and slow me down.
My legs burned and my arms tired. I wasn’t really a runner. I usually complained when we had to run the mile in PE. If I ever got the chance again, I’d take it more seriously. My lungs felt like they would burst and my breath puffed out in shallow bursts.
A car shot in front of me. I jumped back, realizing they had me surrounded. I jerked like a trapped animal, trying to figure out my next move. That’s when I recognized the car. A person rushed out, beckoned me.
“Tanner!” I raced to him.
“Did he hurt you?” Concern etched his face. “I’ll kill him.”
Dad and the other men neared us. Darkness flashed in Tanner’s eyes and he took a step toward them, his fist clenched.
“No, Tanner, c’mon. Please get me outta here.” My entire body shook.
Together, we got in his car. The engine was still on. He punched his foot down on the accelerator and we shot forward. It reminded me of a roller coaster I once rode. My back slammed against the seat.
Desperate prayers tumbled from my lips as Tanner drove. Neither of us dared to speak until we’d merged onto the freeway. Finally, I released the breath I had been holding.
“How did you find me?”
“I followed you from the coffee shop. I could tell something bad was going to happen when you got in that car, but I knew you wouldn’t listen if I tried to stop you.” He reached a hand over and placed it over one of mine. “I know how stubborn you are.”
I didn’t pull my hand away. It felt good to be comforted.
“Thank you. I don’t know what would have happened if you hadn’t shown up when you did.” My voice cracked.
“Hey.” He squeezed my cold fingers. “You’re safe now.”
I nodded, swallowing hard.
“What was that place anyway?” Tanner asked.
Shaking my head, I thought back to the phone conversation and the strange man’s words. What did he owe that person? And what did I have to do with it?
“I have no idea.”
“Should we call the police?”
“And say what? That I went with my dad so he could show some surprise he had for me and I bolted before I got the chance to see it?”
“So he is your dad?”
I nodded. “And we don’t know for sure what he had planned, so I’d rather not involve the police.” The truth was that I wasn’t completely ready to believe the worst about him. Despite everything, there was still the little girl inside who wanted her daddy.
“Why is he here?”
“He said it was because he changed and he wanted to make things right between us.” The words hurt coming out. “I wanted it to be true.”
“I’m sorry, Kenzie.” After giving my hand one last squeeze, he returned his to the steering wheel. My fingers felt cold and longed for his warmth again.
“Why did you do it?” I asked softly.
“Do what?”
“Save me.”
“I’d do anything for you. Don’t you know that by now?”
“I knew it before, but after everything we’ve been through lately I wasn’t sure.”
“I’ve never stopped loving you, Kenzie. No matter what has happened, that hasn’t changed.” He kept his face forward. I studied the familiar contours of his face and my heart tugged.
Even after how much I’d hurt him he was so good to me. Tears filled my eyes and my lips quivered. I thought about how it was actually easier when he was being mean, then at least I could stop feeling so guilty.
“So, should I take you back to the coffee shop to get your car?”
I felt in my pocket and was grateful that my keys and wallet were tucked safely inside. Even though I had been angry about leaving my purse and cell behind, now I saw it as a silver lining. If I had brought them, they would have been left in Dad’s truck.
Tanner pulled into the coffee shop’s parking lot and guided his vehicle into an empty space. After cutting the engine, he faced me.
“Are you gonna be okay?” He reached a hand up and tucked an errant strand of hair behind my ear.
The gesture made me shiver. I leaned into his hand, my eyelids fluttering. His finger traced my jaw line and then he cupped my chin with his hand. My heart picked up speed. I held my breath. He lowered his face. I scooted toward him and parted my lips. His mouth covered mine, soft and warm.
When he stopped kissing me, I felt dizzy. I reached up and grabbed the back of his head, pulling him back towards me. His lips met mine again. I knew it was reckless, but I didn’t care. At that moment I needed to feel loved.
He pulled away from me, his eyes sad. I searched his face trying to decipher what had happened.
“I can’t do this.” He moved away from me.
“Why? What’s wrong?”
“I love you, Kenzie, but I need to be the one you choose.”
“I can’t change what happened before, Tanner. But in this moment I can honestly say that I want to be here with you.”
“I know.”
“Then I don’t understand.”
“You only want me when I save you. The rest of the time you choose him.”
I shook my head in denial of his words.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I know you’ve had a really tough day. I’m being a total jerk.”
I sighed. “No, don’t say that. You’re not a jerk.”
Tanner bit his lip. I wrung my hands in my lap, causing them to turn bright red.
“So, do you want me to follow you home to make sure you get there safely?”
“No, you don’t need to do that. I’m sure Mom will be there when I get home. She’s hardly left the house since Dad came back.”
“I don’t blame her.”
“Thanks again, Tanner.” I reached for the door handle.
His hand found mine. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
I nodded and slipped out into the cold. The parking lot had only a few cars scattered about. I raced to mine and got inside. On the drive home I thought about what Tanner had said. Was it true that I only wanted him when he was rescuing me? Was I really that selfish?
It began sprinkling. Raindrops splattered my windshield like translucent tears. I flicked on my wipers and watched them swish back and forth as I drove. Lights shone behind me. I glanced in the rearview mirror with a catch in my throat.
Glancing at the truck behind me, my heart picked up speed. On closer inspection I could see that it definitely wasn’t my dad’s battered pick-up. I breathed easier.