by Marian Tee
Oh God, the showroom.
Glass all around her, and now she knew why it was called the showroom.
Other Doms were watching them now. Other Doms had been watching from the very start.
“Why?” The word was torn out of her. A part of her expected some of the Subs to stop what they were doing, to stop goddamn coming at Derek’s command, but none of them did. They were the perfect Subs, she thought dully, because they weren’t stupid like her. They only wanted Derek with their bodies. She – she was her mother’s daughter. She had wanted Derek as a Dom with her heart.
“Why not?” His words were a cruel purr, his voice like a sword, cold, beautiful, and deadly.
She tried to back away from him as he walked forward, but either she was too slow or he was too fast. In an instant, Derek captured her by the shoulders, and she started to cry as he touched her ear with his tongue. Before, it would have made her feel excited and cherished. Now, it only made her feel like a whore.
“You’re my Sub, and everything I want, you’ll do, won’t you?” When Derek pulled away, the first thing he saw were the tears shining in her eyes. Her gaze was filled with betrayal, but it only made him want to lash out in his rage. She fucking dared to look at him like that when she was the one who had been leading him on all along?
“Did you really think I loved you?” he snarled.
He expected her to deny it, was ready to hurl more insults at her so he could make her feel like the cheap slut she was.
But she didn’t deny it.
Her voice dull, Jaike said, “Yes.” She looked at Derek but could no longer see him. All she saw was her past and present becoming one. She was her mother’s daughter. Blood would tell, and she had to accept that.
Tears streamed down her face. The pain inside her was excruciating, making her wish she could just die. As she thought about what she came here to do, she began to laugh, slowly, softly at first and then hysterically.
“Why did you even have to pretend you were in love with me, Master?” That was what Diana called Anthony when he was in one of his moods. He liked whipping her mother once in a while, and he liked hearing her sob ‘I love you, Master’ over and over as his whip tore her back open.
The way Jaike was laughing and talking made Derek feel like he was missing something. It was clear she was no longer herself and even though his blood still churned with rage at her betrayal, he couldn’t bear seeing her like this. He couldn’t bear other people seeing her like this.
Derek looked straight at the two-way windows, knowing his friend would be there, keeping an eye on things. “Reid, get everyone out of here.”
Jaike jerked at the name, and then she began to laugh harder. Of course his friends were watching, too. More tears fell, mingling with her unstoppable laughter. “Please don’t have them leave on my account.” As the door opened and men began to take the Subs away, she sang, “Let them stay. Let them hear how good the Master is at fooling me.”
She took off her turtleneck—
The blood drained from Derek’s face when he saw what was underneath it.
His choker.
The one she had never worn since they had left the shop…until now.
What the fuck did that mean?
“Jaike—” He reached for her, a cold, debilitating sense of fear wrapping itself around him, telling him if he didn’t hold on to her now, she would be gone from him forever.
But Jaike danced away from him. She threw her turtleneck to the floor. Stroking the collar around her neck lovingly, she looked at him and said, “This is how good you are at fooling me, Master. I came here wearing this because I wanted to surprise you. I wanted you to see me wearing this while I told you I love you—”
Derek couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Jaike…loved him?
Jaike said brightly, “But that’s not all, Master.” She watched the last of the Subs leave and frowned. “Don’t go! I haven’t said the best part yet!” But none of them looked back, all of them set on following their Dom’s command. They really were the ideal Subs. And she was—
nothing.
Because she was her mother’s daughter and Diana was nothing. So Jaike was nothing, too.
She whirled around to face Derek, and looking at him, she felt like someone else was taking over her body, someone who couldn’t be hurt because she was the perfect Sub.
“I met with Angelo this morning. Did you know that?” Jaike knew she was the one speaking, but it was as if she was hearing another woman say the words. All she could do was watch and wait for her to self-destruct.
Derek’s chest squeezed at the name. But this time, it was not rage that made him feel cold inside. This time it was fear and the slowly dawning realization that he might have gotten everything so fucking wrong.
“You see, a few days ago I found a letter in my bookshelf. It was from Angelo. He’s the nephew of Anthony. My mother’s Dom. Did you know that? I didn’t know that. He told me he loved me in his letter. Not in so many words, but you get the picture. Well, I turned Angelo down. Because I love you. And I thought about telling you that I met him, but I didn’t want you to be mad so I thought I’d tell you later – and now is later so now I’m telling you.”
When Derek started for her, there was a look on his face that made her babble faster even as she tried backing away. “I’m my mother’s daughter. Did I tell you that, too? She liked making her Dom happy, and I want to make my Dom happy. I want you happy.”
“Jaike—”
She backed away faster from his touch. “You know Anthony, her Dom? He liked to hurt her, and she was okay with it because she loved him. I’m okay with you hurting me because I love—” Jaike screamed when Derek caught her and hauled her into his arms.
“No, don’t touch me! I’m not—”
“I love you—”
Something snapped inside her at the words, and she began to sob. She wanted to speak, wanted to tell him to stop lying. Couldn’t he stop lying? Couldn’t he stop hurting her? Didn’t he see how it killed her to hear his lies?
But she couldn’t.
All she could do was cry as she tried to struggle out of his arms.
Derek’s face was ashen, everything inside him bleeding as the truth of Jaike’s words finally hit him. “Jaike, please…”
But still she struggled, and he was forced to let her go, fearing if he didn’t, she would end up hurting herself.
Jaike slid down to her knees the moment Derek released her. She wanted to stop sobbing but she couldn’t. Her eyes began to swell and her throat began to hurt, but she couldn’t stop sobbing.
Derek crouched down in front of her. “Jaike, I’m sorry,” he whispered hoarsely. “Please stop crying.”
But still the ravaging sound continued, her body shaking with each sob.
“I love you, Jaike. I really love you.”
But when the words only made her cry harder, Derek knew there was only one thing left to do.
Thirty minutes later, a taut-looking Angelo strode into the showroom, having broken all speed limits the moment he received Derek Christopoulos’ message.
When he saw Jaike huddled on the floor, sobbing, wearing only a bra and jeans, rage turned his vision black and without a word, he stalked to Derek and threw a punch at the other man’s face.
Derek didn’t avoid the punch, and his head snapped sideways as the other man’s fist connected with his jaw. “You can hit me as many times as you want later, but right now you need to…” His jaw clenched and he tasted blood inside his mouth. “Jaike needs you.”
“I trusted her with you, Christopoulos.” His tone became vicious. “Never again.” Angelo turned his back on Derek and walked swiftly to the girl who shared his life for more than three years, the only girl he had allowed into his heart – and the only girl who had managed to break it.
“Jaike?”
Was she dreaming, or did she really hear Angelo’s voice saying her name?
Slowly, she looked up, fearing
that she had gone really insane.
But it was really Angelo.
It really was him.
“A-Angelo?”
“I’m going to take you away now.”
She shook her head. “You can’t. I’m not…I’m not good enough for you.” She remembered what she had done for Derek, what people had seen her do for Derek, and she started to cry again. “I’m…dirty. I’m—”
“The only girl I want,” Angelo finished fiercely. He took off his shirt and helped her into it. After, he carefully drew Jaike to him and carried her in his arms as he got back to his feet. The way she couldn’t stop shivering in his arms made him curse. What the fuck had Christopoulos done to her that made her seem like she was about to break any moment?
Derek’s heart shattered in pieces as Angelo started to walk away with Jaike in his arms. “Jaike—” But he stopped himself from speaking when Jaike began to cry again. It was as if the mere sound of his voice had become a trigger for her tears, a reminder of the pain he had caused her.
As Jaike slowly disappeared from his view, his own vision became blurry as he remembered her words.
I turned Angelo down. Because I love you. And I thought about telling you that I met him, but I didn’t want you to be mad so I thought I’d tell you later – and now is later so now I’m telling you...
I’m my mother’s daughter. Did I tell you that, too? She liked to make her Dom happy, and I want to make my Dom happy. I want you happy.
You know Anthony, her Dom? He liked to hurt her, and she was okay with it because she loved him. I’m okay with you hurting me because I love—
Derek crashed to his knees. “Jaike!” The pain inside him was like a virus, making his heart feel like it was being ripped into shreds, again and again. “I’m so damn sorry, Jaike. I’m so damn sorry.” His eyes closed, but all he could see was how his cruelty had driven Jaike down to her knees, hysterical and unable to stop crying.
I love you, Jaike.
He thought the words. He spoke the words out loud. It was the only thing he felt that could connect him to Jaike, the girl he had lost.
Jaike was gone. He had pushed her into the arms of another man again, a better man and this time, it was for good.
Chapter Eleven
Angelo carried her the whole time, from the moment he took her out of the car and all the way up to his bedroom on the second floor. Unlike most other students, Angelo preferred to stay off campus. He had always been a man who liked his privacy, and right now Jaike was thankful for it. This way, she would be far, far away from everyone once news broke out that she and Derek were no longer together.
She had been to his place several times, a luxurious apartment decorated with minimalist elegance. She had really liked his place, but tonight she was blind to its beauty. All she could see and feel was pain.
Pain that her stupidity over Derek caused.
Pain she suffered because she was her mother’s daughter.
The thought made her curl in a ball on Angelo’s bed. She was so tired of crying, but she couldn’t stop, the tears falling every time she thought of Derek. Shame engulfed her as she recalled what she had done – and who had seen her do it.
Why? Why had he done that? Why?
She felt the bed dip and knew Angelo had seated himself next to her. When she felt his hand stroke her hair, she couldn’t help but flinch.
Seeing it, Angelo withdrew his hand. He demanded rawly, “What did he do to you, Jaike?”
She shook her head, curling herself into a smaller ball.
Angelo wished he could do something for her, but he knew, just looking at Jaike, that this was something she had to solve on her own. “You can stay here for as long as you want. I hope you know that. And anytime you want to talk about it – whatever you want to talk about – I’m here for you. Always.”
****
“You’re sure you saw her go inside Valencia’s home?” Derek listened to Jaike’s security detail as he clicked to download the photos her bodyguard sent him. His fists clenched and unclenched when the photos revealed Jaike in the other man’s arms, looking like a fragile doll, the high-resolution photo revealing the lifelessness of her expression.
He had done that to her. He had promised Jaike he was worth trusting, had sworn he would never hurt her but in the end, he had broken his word and because of it, he had ended up breaking her, too.
When the guard finished with his report, Derek commanded him to stay there. “Call me if anything’s up, thanks.” As soon as he was done with the call, he checked his inbox and exhaled when he saw the incoming message from his father’s staff.
He downloaded the report, and his face whitened with pain as he started to discover the truth about Jaike’s background.
As he read about Anthony Carras, he began to piece the clues together. He began to understand what drove Angelo to play the role of a guardian angel in her life. Now, he understood all the fears Jaike had struggled to conquer by saying yes to be his Sub and accepting him as her Dom. Now, he understood he had little chance of getting her back.
But because he was not the type to give up, he called her phone anyway.
Please.
Please.
Please just let me hear the sound of your voice.
****
Jaike’s phone began to ring in the middle of the night. Even without looking at it, she knew instinctively who it was. Her rational side told her she should ignore it, but because she was her mother’s daughter, she found herself crawling towards the bedside table and reaching for her bag. She shook out its contents, and her phone was the first thing to tumble out.
Her fingers trembled as she reached for it and answered the call. “Hello?”
Derek’s breath hissed in relief when he heard Jaike’s voice. “Thank God you answered.”
Her eyes began to ache as the tears started to form.
Over the line, he heard her begin to cry and an expletive escaped Derek. “I’m sorry, Jaike,” he said hoarsely. “Please, please don’t cry. Let me explain.”
But still she cried.
“God, Jaike, let me come to you,” he begged. “Let me comfort you. I love you. I love you. I truly love you.” He drew a deep shaking breath. “This morning, I came back to school. I wanted to give you your organizer, and that’s when I saw you…”
He waited for her to say something, but when she didn’t, he doggedly persevered, wanting Jaike to know the truth, every horrible bit of it. “I saw you with Valencia. He held your hand and you let him. I thought…I thought you’ve been playing with me all this time and that I was just your rebound.” He swallowed. “I wanted to give you a chance, so I texted you—”
She whispered, “I lied. I didn’t want to talk about it over the phone. I thought I should explain it to you in person because if you were hurt by it, I w-wanted…” She broke off, choking. “I w-wanted to be there to comfort you.”
Derek’s throat constricted at the words. “I’m sorry. I was so fucking jealous…there was a part of me that always questioned whether someone could really love me and…God, when I saw you with Valencia…” His eyes closed as he remembered the agony he felt at seeing Jaike with another man. “I snapped. I have loved you for so long, Jaike. You were – are – my soul mate, the only girl made for me. It killed me to see you two together, and all I could think of then was revenge.” Humiliation seeped into his voice, and he gripped his phone hard as he made his confession. “I knew your pride and independence were what mattered to you the most, so I did what I could to destroy it.”
Derek’s words washed over her like a cure she no longer needed. She was numb all over, her heart encased in unbreakable ice. A heart that didn’t feel would never be hurt, and that was all she wanted. She would never let another man break her again. Never again. Never. It was all she could think of.
And because that was what she wanted, she said very clearly to Derek, “Thank you for explaining your actions, Derek. I forgive you. But I never want to
see you again. I never want to talk to you again.”
****
When Angelo went to check on Jaike the next morning, he was stunned and alarmed to find her gone from his bedroom. Taking the stairs two at a time, he came to an abrupt halt when he found her seated in his living room. She had changed into one of the outfits she had in stock in his home, clothes he hadn’t been able to bear throwing away.
She stood up immediately at the sight of him, and right away he knew that Jaike had changed. Something was different about her – and whatever it was, it wasn’t a good thing.
“Thank you for letting me stay overnight at your place.”
The moment she spoke, Angelo knew what was wrong. It was like the Jaike he had known all these years had disappeared, the Jaike who had been a wonderful and enjoyable mass of contradictions, strong but vulnerable at the same time, shy but brave, solitary but compassionate. That Jaike was gone. The Jaike before him was cold, her heart no longer sad but not happy, either.
“You know you don’t have to leave.”
She shook her head. “I can’t be near you, Angelo. Not right now. I care for you, and it makes me…weak. I don’t want to be weak anymore.” A smile briefly flashed on her lips, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m sorry, Angelo. I just need to be alone right now. Thank you again. I appreciate all the help you’ve given me.”
This time, when she left, he didn’t stop her.
Chapter Twelve
When she and Derek had been with each other, it was as if time flew. But now that she was alone, she realized that time moved at a different place when a person’s heart wasn’t exactly…intact.
The first thing she did when she got home was send a message to Derek to have his things taken away while she stayed at Marcy’s place.
He had called her the moment he received her message.
She answered it, but only because she had something to say. “Please respect my wishes, Derek. I don’t want anything in my home to remind me of you. I hope you understand that.” She paused. “And please, please don’t call me again.” She hung up before he could answer and afterwards, she stared at her phone for a long moment.