Broken (Keeper of the Flame Book 4)

by Lila Kane

  “Hey.” He sets his hands on my shoulders. “You’re not going to hurt me. This whole situation is fucked up, so you have an excuse for being emotional back there. We…” He sighs and shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

  “No,” I murmur. “You should have. I’m…”

  What? Out of control? Clearly not thinking straight.

  I choke on the words when I say, “I don’t know what to do.”

  He pulls me close, and I cling to his shirt like it’s a link to sanity. Or normalcy.

  Through my tears, I hear him say, “Whatever it takes. You do whatever it takes.”

  The words resonate with me, deep inside. This is about finding an end to something that has gone on generations too long. This about saving lives. And it’s time it stopped.

  “You’re right,” I say, easing back and wiping my wet cheeks. “Whatever it takes.”

  We walk to the living room to face the rest of the group. They all look at me and Ryan when we walk in. I meet Cheyenne’s eyes and say, “We have to talk.”

  Cheyenne nods. She beckons James and Faye. “I think you guys should be there.”

  “What about the rest of us?” Myra asks, folding her arms.

  “Please,” I say. “Let us try to talk this through first and then we’ll talk to everyone. I promise.”

  Myra frowns, but takes Ryan’s hand. “Fine. I’m getting some sleep.”

  “Logan,” I whisper.

  “Do what you need to do,” he says, turning and walking in the other direction.

  My heart squeezes painfully. All I want right now is to make him feel better. But what we decide tonight might solve the whole problem.

  Or it might ruin everything.

  Two hours later, I’m drained. And heartbroken. But there’s a small, very small part of me that’s hopeful. That feels like we might have found a solution.

  “Let’s wait until tomorrow to talk to everyone,” Faye says, following me out of the library.

  “I don’t want to wait too long. To give Kane the chance to try anything else.”

  She sets a hand on my shoulder. “I know. But we have to be sure. This isn’t a small thing we’re doing here.”

  “You think everyone will agree?”

  Faye gives a small smile, looking tired but encouraged at the same time. “I’m not sure. But whatever happens, we’ll know we did it as a group.”

  I swallow back the sudden emotion that causes me, and lean in for a hug. “I’m glad I got to know you.”

  She holds me tight. “Me too, Willow. I promise everything I did before was to protect you. I–”

  “I know.” I ease back to look her in the eyes. “I know. You did what you thought was right. And if…if–”

  “Don’t think about it now. We’ll have a chance to say our goodbyes if it comes to that.”

  Instead of reassuring me, her words weigh on my heart. But I only nod and watch as she walks away, heading to bed. The rest of the house is dark. I stroll down the hallway to the kitchen, tracing my hand on the wall. I’ve grown to love this place. This house. This town. The people.

  And I barely had a chance to enjoy it.

  Stepping outside the kitchen door, I breathe in the night air, tipping my face to the sky. If I weren’t here, where would I be now? If I hadn’t come to Shadow Hill or met Logan, would any of this have happened?

  “I hope you’re not planning on going anywhere,” Logan says off to my side.

  I gasp and jerk back, my shoulder blades hitting the door. “I didn’t know you were still up.”

  And he’d been so quiet, I hadn’t heard him. He materializes in the darkness, hands in his pockets as he walks toward me. He stops several feet away, eyes fathomless. Hurt.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” I say. “I promise.”

  I’m about to ask him how he’s feeling after what I did, when he speaks again.

  “You would have killed him tonight.”

  Kane. He means I would have killed his brother. And he’s right. “I’m sorry.”

  “Isn’t that what it’s come down to? Isn’t that what you were planning in there during your witch meeting?”

  “I–no. That’s not what we were planning. Logan, I don’t want to kill Kane.”

  “Yes, you do. And I wanted it tonight, too. After the girl.” He glances away. “And Morgan.”

  “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

  “He killed your father.”

  The words are a dagger to my heart. I swallow and press my hands over my eyes. “I know.”

  And isn’t that what started all this? My crusade to find out what really happened to my father? My quest to find answers about him and my mom, bringing me here to Shadow Hill?

  It started all the way back then. And if that hadn’t happened…

  “I have to go back to before he died,” I whisper.

  “What?”

  I lift my gaze to meet his again. “I’m sorry about Morgan. And Kane…” Shaking my head, I change my train of thought. “I know you wanted to be there for the meeting tonight, but I don’t want anyone else getting hurt. We start to believe something is possible, and then it doesn’t work. I–I already hurt you tonight, Logan, and I’m afraid I’m going to do it again.”

  “It was an accident,” he says gruffly.

  “It’s something I can’t control. The blue fire. It almost killed you. It killed Wes, and the other vampire. It would have killed your brother tonight–”

  “Which is what it’s going to come down to.”

  “No.” I venture a step closer to him. “There might be another way. That’s what we were talking about.”

  His look is wary. “What other way?”

  “We should talk tomorrow with the others.”

  “You’re not shutting me out again, Willow.”

  My mouth drops open. “Logan. That’s not what I’m trying to do.”

  “We made an agreement, didn’t we? That we’re in this together–that we wouldn’t keep things from each other.”

  “I’m not trying to keep this from you, I swear.” I reach out to touch his cheek, then remember the blue fire and jerk back. “I promise, Logan.”

  He takes my hand.

  “Logan–”

  “Don’t be afraid,” he says. “I was afraid to hurt you before, and I didn’t listen when you said you were okay. You need to listen to me now. You’re not going to hurt me. I need…I need to be close to you right now. I need to know we’re on the same page.”

  When he brings my hand to his cheek, my resolve breaks. I step up to him, leaning in so our bodies touch the entire way down. “I need that, too. But we also need rest.”

  “Close your eyes,” he says.

  “What?”

  “This part still scares you.”

  “What part? Logan!”

  His arms close around me and my feet are off the ground so fast it feels like I’m falling. Then he’s racing through the house and up the stairs, into his room, and shutting the door behind him before he sets me on the bed.

  “Now,” he says, turning on one of the lamps and then sliding off his shoes. “Rest. Lie down, close your eyes, and talk to me.”

  “We should really wait for the rest of the group.”

  “This isn’t about the rest of the group. This is about you and me right now. We don’t keep secrets from each other, Willow.”

  Words jumble in my throat. He’s right. We don’t. And if the situation were reversed, I’d be upset if he didn’t tell me what was going on.

  “Don’t debate it in your head,” he says, lips curving. “Just tell me.”

  “Are you mad?”

  He pulls off his shirt and tosses it to the chair across the room.

  “You’re trying to distract me,” I murmur. Though I don’t really mind.

  Logan has a perfect body. Trim, fit, just enough muscle I can see it as he works to take off his pants. Then he smiles at me again and I m
elt into the bed.

  “Tell me,” I say. “No secrets.”

  “No, I’m not mad. I was,” he admitted, walking over to grab my boot. He yanks it off my foot and goes for the other. “And I’ll let myself be later. But right now…being mad with you seems like a waste of time when we don’t know how much we have.”

  My breath catches. “Why did you say that?”

  “Because,” he says, tugging at my pants. “You have that look.”

  I grab his hand to stop him from fiddling with my button. “What look?”

  “You’re not relaxing.”

  “And you’re dodging my question.”

  He sighs, propping his hands on his hips while I slide to the edge of the bed. “The look that says something is going to happen. Something that’ll change all this forever. That’ll change you and me.”

  Emotion rises in my throat. My heart thumps out an uneven rhythm. “You’re right,” I choke out. Tears spill over. “It’s going to change us forever.”

  “Willow.” He looks alarmed when I launch myself off the bed and into his arms. “Don’t cry. Baby, what is it? You have to tell me. I’ll fix it.”

  I give a watery laugh. “You can’t. You can’t fix this, Logan. Not this time.”

  His lips find my mouth, catching my sobs until I’m lost in him. “Don’t worry. Don’t cry.”

  But I can’t stop. “Lay down,” I say, nudging him toward the bed.

  “Wait–”

  “No. Get in.”

  He obeys, lying where I just was. I do the same as he did, getting out of my clothes and taking one of his shirts from the dresser drawer to pull on over my head. Then I shut off the light, plunging us into darkness.

  I climb into bed with him and curl up against his side, pressing my hand to his chest.

  “Tell me the truth,” I say. “Did I hurt you? Tonight, with the fire?”

  He hesitates before answering. But then his hand covers mine and he says, “It hurt. Probably the worst pain I’ve felt in my life.” He squeezes my hand when I tense. “But then you fixed it. You made it go away. I feel fine now, Willow. And you don’t have to feel guilty.”

  “I still do. And I probably will forever.”

  He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “I’ll try to make you forget.”

  I sigh, hoping he’ll forget the conversation he wanted to have. Wishing we could stay here forever and pretend the real world, and Kane and vampires–all of it–doesn’t exist.

  “Tell me, Willow.”

  My heart clenches. I’m tired, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep anyway. And I don’t want to miss any moments I have with Logan.

  “Cheyenne has an idea. Faye thinks it’s possible.”

  “Something else besides the spell you were going to do?”

  Guilt floods me again. “The spell we were going to do…It’s not going to work. Not without four of us. And Morgan…”

  “We can try to find another witch.”

  I listen to his breathing for a long moment. “We won’t have time.”

  He doesn’t answer, but it’s because I’m right. Kane’s made it clear he’s going to do what it takes to get the blue fire.

  “Then we have to”–Logan clears his throat, like he can’t get the words out that he wants to say–“take care of Kane.”

  “I can’t,” I whisper, closing my eyes. “I don’t think I can plan to kill him. I was angry tonight, and–and after the other girl and Morgan…I thought I could do it. Out of defense or fear or anger, maybe. But to plan to kill your brother? Logan…you know I can’t. And you couldn’t either.”

  “To save you, I could. He’s not going to stop, Willow.”

  I sigh, running my hand over his chest. “I know. Which is why Cheyenne thought we needed to take a different approach.”

  “What different approach?”

  Here it is. The truth. What I know deep down needs to happen. “We try to stop Kane before he can do any of this.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  “We take it back. Go back to before this all started. Before Kane planned to come here, before I came here, even. And stop it all before it starts.”

  His breathing is slow. I hold my own breath, unsure what he’s going to say. We’d talked about it before, erasing what had happened. But that was before we knew it could really work.

  “So…we go back weeks or months or however long and try to stop this? Do the spell before Kane can even get here?”

  I force myself to say the words before I can chicken out. “Not ‘we’. Me.”

  He sits up. “What?”

  “We talked about it. I don’t think we have enough magic between us to bring everyone back, to keep all our memories intact. It’ll just be me.”

  “What the fuck? You mean–what?” He shifts to face me, and even though it’s dark I can see the planes and shadows and creases on his face. The pain and anger there. “So, none of us will even know what’s going on? You’re just going to erase everything that’s happened and we won’t even know?”

  “Yes.”

  He stands faster than I can blink. “No. Nobody’s going to agree with that. What about Myra and Ryan? You’ll think they want to forget they imprinted?”

  My heart wrenches from my chest. I crawl to the edge of the bed.

  “And your mom? She’s just willing to forget about you with the snap of a finger?” His voice turns bitter. “What about us, Willow? You can forget all that?”

  Tears fill my eyes. He’s wrong. It won’t be me forgetting, it’ll be him. He won’t know we had anything. He’ll go back to normal. I’m the one who will remember. Every single kiss and every single word.

  “It’s the best way,” I tell him.

  “No, it’s not.”

  “Logan.” I get out of bed, reaching for him.

  He backs up. “Don’t touch me right now, Willow. This is–I’m mad. You’re right. I’m fucking pissed off. This isn’t a decision you can make for everyone.”

  “I’m not. That’s why we were going to talk to everyone tomorrow. And if everyone agrees–”

  “They won’t. I won’t.”

  “We don’t have another choice, Logan. I want to do this.”

  I regret the words the instant they’re out of my mouth. They’re not true. I don’t want to do this, but I think I have to.

  Logan curses under his breath, grabbing his clothes off the chair and putting them on lightning fast.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  He whips around, eyes dark and filled with so much hurt, I can’t stand it. “I can’t do this. I need a break.”

  My mouth opens but nothing comes out. A break? What does that mean?

  “Get some rest,” he says a little more gently before leaving the room.

  I don’t hear his footsteps as he walks away. But I listen for other noises. The sound of the front door. Anything. I don’t want him leaving here angry. I want him safe. In bed with me.

  But he has every right to be hurt. I know I would be too.

  And I still know I have to do this. If everyone else agrees, I’ll be leaving Shadow Hill soon.

  Not only that, if we do this right, I might get to see my father again.

  Chapter 17

  When I walk into the kitchen the next morning, Cheyenne glares at me from the sink where she’s washing her bowl from breakfast.

  “Your fiancé spilled the beans.”

  “What?” I rub my eyes. “Where is everyone?”

  “Waiting for you in the living room.”

  Shit. Logan told them all. “Are they mad?”

  Cheyenne sighs. “They’re confused. But some of them are encouraged.”

  “And Logan?”

  She shakes her head. “He left about an hour ago.”

  “Wait, what do you mean left? Like…went for a walk? Or–”

  “Left the property. Ryan went after him, but we haven’t heard from him.”

  I groan, scrubbing my hands ov
er my face. “We have to find him.”

  “Give him time.”

  “What if he goes after Kane?” The possibility of that hits me like a train. He could be doing just that—going after his own brother.

  Her expression gives away nothing. “Give him time,” she repeats.

  Time could mean the difference between life and death. I pull in a calming breath. No, Logan’s smarter than that. He won’t go after Kane. Not without the rest of us to help him. He won’t want anything to happen that may break us apart.

  I fill a glass of water and take a long swallow before asking, “What about the people from last night? The ones Kane left here?”

  “Myra influenced them. She’s getting pretty good at it, too. Anyway, they don’t remember anything. We sent them back home.”

  I glance at her sharply.

  She shrugs. “What else are we supposed to do? We can’t protect everyone in town.”

  She’s right. There are too many people, and not enough of us. Which only solidifies what we need to do. End all of this.

  “We need to tell everyone the details, and then make a decision,” Cheyenne says, pausing in the kitchen doorway. “We don’t know how long we have before Kane tries something again.”

  I listen to her footsteps as they walk down the hallway, heading to the living room. I hear voices from the rest of the group. Some are arguing. Others are soothing, like Faye’s. They have to understand. This is the best way. It’s the only way I can think to get things back to where they should be.

  Before I can talk myself out of it, I walk to the living room and face the music. They all look at me when I come in. Everyone but Ryan and Logan. Even the vampire girl, Lucy, is there, sitting in her own chair by the fireplace.

  “I’m in,” Diane says.

  Myra sends her an exasperated look. “You don’t even know what all this is about.”

  “Yes, I do. We have a chance to end it. That’s good enough for me.”

  “And what about our lives here?” Myra asks. “I’ve made a home here. It’s…” She turns to me. “It’s a lot to give up.”

  I nod. “I know it is. A lot. But it’s not gone forever. You can still make these things. We just have to start over again.”

  “But we won’t remember anything, right?”