Highland Song

by Young, Christine

  "And you are not?" Slade asked. This time Lainie did not answer.

  Once Lainie and Slade rode farther south, the roads showed more signs of use. They saw more travelers and the wild animals became scarce as if they knew to hide for their survival.

  Slade seemed more at ease than he had been. He laughed and smiled more often. While farther north, he had ridden as if he expected attack at any moment. He never cut across a clearing unless avoiding it would take them miles out of his way.

  Still there was a wariness about him. He never crested a rise without pausing just below the rim to see what was on the other side. Only when he was satisfied there were no highwaymen or cutthroats nearby did he reveal himself against the skyline.

  He seemed to go out of his way to avoid any possible dangers. If avoidance was impossible, he set his hand on the hilt of his sword and opened his cloak so his sword was in easy reach. Often during the day, he would retrace part of their back trail, find a vantage point, and simply watch the land for any signs that they were being followed.

  He kept his weapons close when he rode and even when he slept. Every night he sharpened his knifes. Then he positioned his bow and arrow so they would be within easy reach.

  Lainie watched Slade. She couldn't stop herself. She realized Slade didn’t make a big deal about these precautions. They seemed instinctive. He had lived through too many wars and naval skirmishes. He was no more aware of his skill at it than he was of his skill in riding the huge black stallion he called Baby.

  Lainie didn’t think the horse was anyone’s baby. He had a temperament of the devil and wariness of a fox. Should anyone save Slade approach the stallion, he flattened his ears to his skull and looked for a place to sink his big white teeth into flesh. With Slade, however, the stallion was all knickers and soft whuffles of greeting.

  Baby was just as cautious as his master was. A second never passed when Baby didn’t have his head up testing the wind for the scent of danger. His head was up now, his ears were pricked, and his nostrils were flared as he drank the wind.

  In the distance, fog rolled into the meadow. A bird called sharply and cut aside to fly into the low-lying clouds. The silence that followed the bird’s retreat was complete. It was so absolute it sent shivers down Lainie's spine.

  Lainie didn’t wait for Slade’s gesture to go into hiding. Intuition took over and as soon as the bird disappeared, she rode her mare farther into the shelter of the thick, green forest and paused. Breath held, frozen, she gazed at the terrain and Slade through the shrubbery and trees.

  A solitary deer walked cautiously toward them. The half-healed battle-scars of a recent clash were obvious on the deer’s body. He leaned over and drank deeply from the creek meandering near the road, stopping every few moments to lift his head and breathe in the wind. Despite his wounds, the deer was fit and strong, antlers just beginning to show full maturity.

  Mesmerized by the young buck’s powerful magnificence, Lainie leaned forward as if she might get a closer look. The buck seemed to sense her presence, standing motionless in the shadows.

  Finally, the buck drank again, looked up and strode slowly away from the stream. Soon he began cropping grass. His vigilance didn’t vanish while he ate. Rarely did a minute go by that he didn’t stop, raise his head and listen to the sounds in the meadow, sniffing the wind while he watched.

  The buck was alone.

  It occurred to Lainie that Slade was like the buck--ready for battle, guarded, trusting nothing and, entirely alone. In many ways Lainie did not understand, Slade was vulnerable.

  Lainie sensed something behind her. When she turned in the saddle, she saw Slade coming through the forest toward her. She had been so lost in thought she'd forgotten the danger.

  A breeze sifted through the aspens, drawing a sigh from their leaves. Her horse stirred, made uneasy by the scent of the stallion on the wind. Silently Lainie stroked her horse’s neck to comfort.

  "Is there anyone following us?" Lainie asked in a low voice as Slade rode alongside, his expression grim.

  "Jericho is back there. You can bet on it. He's never been one to give up easily. He has a score to settle with me then there is the bounty on your head."

  Slade stood in the stirrups and looked across the meadow. After a moment, he settled back into the saddle.

  "From the looks of it that young buck had a full-fledged battle a little while ago. He probably just had his first lesson about women."

  Lainie looked questioningly at Slade.

  Slade shrugged. "A woman will go with whatever male who will give them the most comfort. It’s not hard to figure out. It's the way of nature. Doesn't mean I like it."

  "A female who trusted every young buck with seduction on his mind wouldn’t stand a chance on this earth."

  "Ah, spoken like a little gal who knows a woman’s mind."

  "Imagine that," Lainie shot back sugar coating her words.

  Begrudgingly, Slade smiled. "Touché."

  Lainie looked at the young buck then back at Slade, remembering what he had said when he tucked the letter from her saddlebag into his coat pocket.

  "Who was she?" Lainie asked.

  "One of Slade’s black eyebrow’s lifted in silent query.

  "The woman who chose money over love," Lainie said simply. "The woman who liked the gifts a man gave her more than the man giving them."

  The line of Slade’s jaw tightened beneath the stubble that had grown over the days on the road. He rubbed his jaw then ran his hand through his hair as if he considered what she'd just said.

  "What makes you think there was only one?" he asked coldly.

  "You don’t strike me as the kind of man who has to learn something more than once."

  The corner of Slade’s mouth kicked up. "You’re right about that."

  The change in his voice was almost tangible. There was neither hate nor love in the tone, simply a contempt that chilled her to the bone.

  "What happened?" Lainie asked.

  He shrugged and looked into the distance before he looked back to her. "The same thing most women do to men."

  "What’s that?"

  "You should know, little fox."

  "Because I’m a woman?"

  "Because you’re damned good at the kind of deception most females use to get men so hot and bothered they’ll say or do almost anything to get what they want."

  "I dinna ken what ye are talking about."

  Slade's eyes narrowed as he added, "Almost anything, but not quite."

  "What didn't you do? Love her?" Lainie asked with sarcasm the main ingredient in her voice.

  He laughed. The sound was harsh. "Hell, that was the one thing I did do."

  "You still love her," Lainie said with conviction.

  Slade slanted her long glance. "No." The single word was curt.

  "Why? Love doesn't die easily. If you loved her once then--"

  "Let it die, Lainie. I'm not keen on answering questions about my past," he said cutting her off.

  "I'm curious. I'm not sure why," Lainie said slowly watching the man who intrigued her more than he should.

  "I bet I know."

  Slade didn't stop to give Lainie an answer. He stood in his stirrups to check the surrounding countryside. The buck grazed on hungrily, undisturbed by anything he could scent or sense. Birds called across the clearing and flew from tree to tree in normal patterns. The world seemed at ease, calm. Nothing moved along the vague trail the horses had left at the margin of the meadow.

  Slade reined Baby around, ready to continue the journey. A journey Lainie knew nothing about.

  "Slade? What did she want you to do for her? Kill someone?"

  He smiled tightly. "You could say that."

  "Who?" she asked.

  "Me."

  "What?" Lainie asked with disbelief. "You're not making any sense."

  He swore beneath his breath and looked over his shoulder at the woman whose sky blue eyes, soft breasts, and rose scent haunted him ni
ght and day.

  "The woman in question wanted me to stay in the service while she danced away the nights at parties in London," Slade said, clipping each word. "But I'd had my fill of playing the soldier. I didn't like the lies the men in charge used to confiscate property, kill and brutalize the peasants. I wanted a life filled with peace and children. I knew I could never join her in London."

  Motionless, Lainie watched Slade as he spoke, wondering at the emotion that made his voice both resonant and husky when he talked about his feelings.

  "The first time I left for duty, I damn near killed myself getting back to her, only to find her in the arms of another man."

  He said no more.

  "Did you forgive her then?" Lainie asked.

  "Damn fool that I was, I did. Never again."

  "She hurt you?" Lainie guessed.

  "Oh, she'd hurt me," he said, but there was only a frigid tenseness to his voice. "At the time, I was still the best catch around. She came running up to me with her golden eyes all sparkling with tears of joy."

  "What happened next?"

  He shrugged. "The usual. We went back to my family's estate. They threw parties for us, and she gave me just enough to make me hot and wild for her."

  Lainie's fingers tightened on the reins. The contempt in Slade's voice was like a blizzard.

  "Then she asked if I was ready to go back to London with her so she could go to the parties and pretend she was looking for a husband. I pleaded with her to marry me and return to the land I loved with all my heart.

  "And she refused," Lainie whispered.

  "Not right away. She was looking for a way to convince me to move back to London. In tender moments, she’d whisper about all the fun we’d have if I would see things her way. All I had to do was say yes, and she’d do anything I wanted her to do."

  Slade inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he spoke. "Hell, someone should keep little boys from falling in love. But no matter how much she teased and flirted, blinking her lashes at me and smiling," he went on, "I was smart enough to keep from making promises it would kill me to keep. I’d go on a mission for the King, and when I’d come back hoping she had changed her mind, and each time I was gone a little longer, and each time she would be waiting."

  Slade took off his hat, raked long fingers through his hair, and resettled his hat with a swift tug.

  "Until I came back and found her married and pregnant by a rich old earl, a man twice her age and eager to please."

  At Lainie's startled sound, Slade turned and slanted her an odd smile.

  "Surprised me, too," he spoke slowly. "I was dumbfounded. I couldn’t understand how the old man had gotten under her skirts in a matter of months when I had been trying her for years. So I asked her."

  "Did she tell you anything?"

  "Yeah, she said a woman wants comfort and security from a man, and a man wants sex and children from a woman. Pretty jaded but I think it summed up her feelings for me," Slade said succinctly. "The old earl was well fixed. When she got him hot enough to take her virginity, he agreed to marry her, because a decent man marries the girls he ruins."

  "Sounds like she had all the passion of an ice covered loch."

  "She got everything she ever dreamed of," Slade said dryly. "And I’m sure I’m better off without her."

  "All women aren’t like that."

  "I’ve known only one woman in my entire life who gave herself for love rather than a wedding ring," Slade said flatly.

  Lainie didn’t speak. She stared at the meadow instead.

  Frustration swept through Slade at Lainie's persistence. He’d barred his soul to her and he didn’t understand why. He didn’t like remembering the past or talking about it either. He’d put the memories in their place and tried not to recall them. Happiness seemed elusive--happiness with a woman anyway. Yet he couldn’t keep himself from wondering if he wasn’t missing something. Sometimes he wondered if he should find a woman and take a chance on getting burned twice by the same fire.

  Once burned twice shy, he told himself.

  And eternally frozen.

  Yet there was something about Lainie MacPherson that compelled him to break all his own rules. He inhaled a deep breath, his gut clenching, his fists tightening.

  Unable to control his raw emotions, Slade reined his horse around so that Baby stood head to tail with Lainie’s horse. They were so close together that his leg fleetingly touched Lainie’s. Before she could shy away, his hand shot out, pushing her hat aside until it fluttered to the ground. His gloved hand slid behind her hair and wrapped around her nape.

  "Little fox," he began softly. "I’ve always understood and acknowledged that women have to make up in slyness what they lack in strength. But accepting isn’t the same as liking."

  His glance strayed to Lainie’s clear blue eyes to her trembling lower lip.

  "However," he said huskily, "there are many satisfying ways to enjoy women. I'd love to find a way to find pleasure with a cunning little fox with blue eyes and a mouth that trembles with unrequited passion."

  "That’s not me," she countered with a shaking voice.

  "I’ve tasted you. You burned me and the sweetness will last in my mind forever. And you tasted me. I won't let you tell me you didn't like it, or that you can dismiss those feelings."

  Lainie held her breath while she watched Slade, her eyes never wavering from his.

  He grinned, satisfied the passion he remembered was still simmering out of control.

  "Remember what happened between us little fox. Don’t ever forget. I sure as hell won’t."

  Slade released Lainie as abruptly as he had reached out to touch her and nudged the stallion with his heels.

  "Get going, Baby. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover before we reach our destination.

  ~ * ~

  A full moon rose. Mists of rolling fog danced with the light before Slade called and end to the day. The fire Slade built was small, but the flickering light intrigued Lainie.

  Slade’s accusations about her sensuality had struck her to the core. She didn’t want to think about what he’d said let alone remember how he’d made her feel when he held her in his arms. But she had remembered, and she remembered the way he tasted too. The danger in remembering and thinking were all too real.

  A frog croaked somewhere nearby and an owl hooted. The night sounds comforted yet she knew with the night, danger could sneak into their midst. And the danger might be in the form of a dark-haired stranger who had taught her that men weren’t all bad.

  Lainie looked up with a start when she heard the snap of a twig.

  "Nothing to fear," Slade said from behind her. "It's only me."

  Lainie turned around to face him. Lainie didn't fear Slade. She was afraid of her feelings toward Slade.

  "Anyone who loses herself in the dancing flames of a tiny fire deserves to be startled from time to time. I could have been Jericho or one of his men."

  "I wasn’t lost," she said defensively, reminding herself Slade held far too much control over her mind and body.

  Slade bent over the campfire, picked up a piece of dry wood and added it to the flames. When the branch caught fire, he sat on his heels beside Lainie, and watched her. She squirmed a little at his scrutiny.

  "What are you thinking?" Slade asked, poking the fire with another stick and watching her with a hungry gleam in his eyes.

  Heat brushed Lainie’s cheeks. She’d been thinking of the time when Slade kissed her lips, her neck, her breasts… She was too honest to deny she was attracted to him. If she weren’t fascinated with him, she would never have made the unholy bargain. He stirred something inside her she thought long dead. Her curiosity had gotten the better of her. She wanted to know what Callie found so attractive about Hawke.

  She understood that she couldn’t trust herself. She’d already given too much of herself to this English soldier. The man who might still hand her over to Bertram she reminded herself. Something in the back of her mind told
her he would never go through with it. But all this left her feeling anxious and lost. All her life she had trusted her instincts when it came to dealing with other people. She had come to trust those instincts.

  Moreover, at the same time her brothers had warned her about men and all they might want from her, what they might take if she wasn’t careful. She understood all too well the power a man possessed. She knew what she had already lost.

  She was afraid.

  "You’re lost in thought. Care to tell me?"