"You're going to France where I know you'll be taken care of," Hawke said.
Unhappily, Callie watched Lainie until the door closed behind her.
"Why won't she stay? Callie asked.
"I suppose for many of the same reasons she didn't stay after Bertram's attack," Hawke said.
"But that was different."
"In many ways it's the same. Her heart was ripped apart this time. Last time Bertram took her soul as well as her peace of mind. She needs to separate herself from her emotions and put distance between herself and Aaron Slade."
"Men," Callie muttered.
Hawke laughed. His arm snaked out, drawing her close. He kissed her quickly and fiercely then let her go.
"All the same, I could shake Slade by his ears. If I thought it would help, I would do just that," Callie muttered as she put her arms around Hawke's lean waist.
"Don't worry. I left that job for Ian. He was looking forward to it so much I almost feel sorry for Slade."
"Do you think it will help?" Callie asked.
"I hope so."
~ * ~
Lainie skirted up the rope ladder to the Aphrodite as if she'd grown up on ships. She didn't need the help offered by one of Hawke's men to get over the railing, but she accepted it and thanked the man.
In a daze, Lainie walked the deck of the ship she'd played on when she was younger, watching the velvet darkness contrast with the shimmering stars. She memorized the way the moonlight danced on the waves washing ashore.
She looked out over the sea, while she tried to forget the man she had fallen in love with but now had to forget existed. She ran her hands along the railing and flinched. Her hands were better but they had been badly scratched and cut. With every beat of her heart, the pain seemed to grow, not diminish.
Lying treasonous whore…
She jerked. And slowly Lainie's hands became fists. Just as slowly, they uncurled. She wrapped her hands around the railing and tightened them so the trembling that came when she remembered Slade's words wouldn't tear her apart.
Closing her eyes and inhaling a long deep breath, Lainie slowly unwrapped her hands. Thoughts of standing on the railing, and diving into the cold dark depths of the water swept over her. She wanted to drown her sorrows in the soothing water. But this time of year the water would be far from soothing and peaceful. It was downright frigid.
Lainie walked into her brother's cabin. It was his when he sailed and the captain had given her permission to use it on this journey. The room was beautifully done, with a dark red velvet coverlet and drapes around the bed. The shelves were made from a dark wood found in some exotic spot where Hawke had sailed and traded. Lainie had never really cared enough to find out where her brother's had gone to trade.
She should be sleeping. Dawn was not very far away. Yet sleep eluded her. She was restless and couldn't keep herself from pacing the length of the room again and again. She went to the chest she had packed, unpacked then packed again. She ran her fingertips along the books Hawke kept but found nothing she wanted to read. She tried to sit and close her eyes but every time she shut them she relived the mud and the ooze, and the thundering of the earth as it washed down the mountain.
And she remembered the overwhelming fear that Slade might die.
Outside the ship and seeming to come from the direction of the shore, she heard male voices. Lainie cocked her head to listen but the waves lapping against the rocks and the beach made it impossible for her to distinguish who was talking.
She lay down on the bed, plumping the pillow then staring at the canopy. She looked at her hands, the scratches and the bruises and wondered at the irony of rescuing a man who thought she gave her body for trinkets who was a lying, treasonous whore who had no loyalty to anyone save herself. The longer she was away from Slade the more she missed him.
Why would I miss Aaron Slade?
The ship rocked calmly on the ocean. A cool breeze flitted through the cabin just as Lainie's eyes were starting to close. Surprised, she jerked to a sitting position, her hands behind her back.
Slade stood in the open door, staring at her as he had in the tavern in Ayr, when Lainie had felt her heart trip.
His face was still cut and bruised from the mudslide. But to Lainie he was more handsome than she remembered. And his eyes were a hungry green.
When Slade strode toward Lainie, her breath shivered from her, and her heart thundered in her chest. She had not expected to see Slade again. She tried to get up from the bed, but she was shaking too much. She closed her eyes and gave up. Letting her hands ball in fists in her lap, she waited.
Slade sat down on the bed next to Lainie then he turned to her, taking her hands in his.
"I've something for you," he said huskily.
The words meant little to Lainie. She didn't want Slade here. She needed to have the memories of Slade vanish from her head. But his presence here reinforced all she tried so hard to forget.
One more time Lainie tried to get up and off the bed, but could not. Her arms were too weak and her legs were numb. She looked out the window, and watched the moonbeams dance on the water far in the distance and wished she could find a way to turn back time. She couldn't bear looking at him and knowing what he saw when he looked at her.
Treasonous whore… No loyalty… no honor…liar…
"I don't know why you're here but I wish you would leave," Lainie said, choking back a sob.
Her voice was thin and flat.
"It took me long enough, but I figured out why I followed you home," Slade said softly. "Guess you'll have to figure it out too."
"Just leave," she said, her voice shaking.
"Not in this lifetime," he said.
Lainie listened in disbelief as Slade spoke. When he finished, she watched him, waiting for something she knew wouldn't happen. Because she no longer believed in miracles.
He picked up her hand and turned it over in his. He traced the lines of her palm and then brought it to his lips and kissed the scratches there. She shuddered and tugged at her hand, wishing he would stop, wishing he'd keep touching her forever. Wishing he could find a way to trust her.
To love her.
"I don't know what ye want from me," her voice trembled and she turned away, unable to bear looking at Slade, and knowing how much she wanted him.
"I only want you to love me," Slade said, his own voice shaking. "I'm yours, little darling, for as long as you will have me, any way you'll have me.
He reached into his pocket and brought out a gold ring with a seal on it.
"I'd rather be your husband than your jailor. I've brought you a ring with my family's seal," Slade said in a low voice. "And I give you back the pendant I took from you on that night so long ago. I want nothing in return save your love."
He held the ring and the pendant out to Lainie on his palm, silently asking she accept him. Tears gathered in Lainie's eyes. She put her hands in her lap to lessen the enticement to take the ring and the man.
"Stop. Stop now. I don't know what I've done that ye have to come here to tease and taunt me," she whispered painfully. "Ye dinna want me or trust me. I'm everything ye despise in a woman. And ye dinna love me. I willnae take anything from a man who doesn’t love me."
"I don't like myself much right now. I didn't trust myself. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me," Slade said tightly. "I'd been so stupid when it came to Lady Anna that I made a vow with myself never to give a woman that kind of power over me again. Then I found you."
"I've stolen and I've lied. I'm not an innocent woman, one ye would want to bear your children."
Slade gestured in the air as if that would stop Lainie."
"I've stolen and I've lied. You are the bravest, most courageous woman I've ever met. You were able to give yourself to a jaded man despite all the hardships you've had to endure," he said. "I think we're made for each other."
When Lainie's hands remained in her lap and she said nothing, Slade clo
sed his eyes on a wave of pain and sorrow. Slowly he got up and sat on his heels beside her, putting one hand over her cold fingers.
She looked out the window rather than meet his eyes.
"Lainie, look at me. I know I've been terrible but I want to make amends if you will let me," Slade whispered. "Did my stupidity kill what you felt for me? I want to spend the rest of my life making up for everything bad I’ve done to you."
Lainie inhaled a deep, trembling breath. "I don't know if I can ever be what ye want me to be. I am who I am. Nothing more. Some things are just not attainable."
Slade stood with the stiff motions of an old man. Once his hand moved as though he would touch her hair, she moved slightly so he could have no more hold over her. She turned to him, eyes closed but when the silence drew her to open her eyes. She saw the ring drop to the floor, heard the dull thud when it landed. With the moonlight shining through the window, Lainie saw the fine trembling of his fingers. Slade looked at her as though he had never seen her before.
"I can't change your mind?" he asked weakly. "Your loss will haunt me forever. You should have left me under that tree to die."
Lainie swallowed hard, trying for words that wouldn't come.
He turned away swiftly, striding toward the door, his shoulders slumped like she'd never seen him.
"No!" Lainie cried.
Suddenly she was on her feet running to meet him.
Slade turned and caught Lainie up in his arms and buried his face against her neck, holding her as though he expected her to be ripped away. When she felt the scorching stroke of his tears against her flesh, her heart stopped then started beating in a thunderous tone.
"Slade," she breathed. "Don’t leave, I know ye believe in passion not love. But I don't care. I love ye with all my heart and soul. I don't care if you ever tell me you love me. Just don't leave me. I can’t live without you."
Slade's arms tightened around her even more. Finally, he lifted his head and Lainie saw both hope and fear in his eyes.
"You taught me how passion and trust can grow into real love, Lainie MacPherson. Love is what holds the world together. Love is what will bind us together throughout eternity. Sweet Jesu, but I love you, Lainie. I cannot live without you. Will you spend the rest of your life with me?"
Lainie's hands shook and it seemed that the trembling consumed her entire body. Then she froze, looking at him with a silent question in her heart.
"Do you truly love me?" she asked breathless.
He bent on one knee, holding her hands in his. Then he brought them to his lips and gently kissed her. "I do," he said. "Will you be my wife, Lainie MacPherson?"
"Aye," she said. "I love ye more than life. The song in my heart will sing only for you."
Available Now
at Rogue Phoenix Press
Highland Honor
The first book in the Highland Series
Willfully stubborn, innocently courageous, Callie Whitcomb braves a journey through the treacherous highlands to the Macpherson castle. Callie flees from an unwanted marriage as well as her ruthless half brother. Naively she believes Colin MacPherson, the head of the clan, is loyal to her father and will give her sanctuary, protecting her from the vile plans that have been made for her.
As hard and as unyielding as the winter storms that sweep through the countryside, Colin is irresistibly drawn to the impetuous beauty who has magically appeared on his doorsteps. Despite his vows of revenge against her father, she stirs his passion as well as his sense of justice...but to love her would violate all his vows of revenge.
Highland Magic
The second book in the Highland Series
Throughout the Highlands she is known as Keely, the witch woman. She is a great healer-a woman whose dreams come true. Ian MacPherson is a man who puts honor, loyalty and duty above everything. Their lives are entwined when Ian is sent by the Scottish King to bring Keely to trial for witchcraft. He is attacked and left for dead, but Keely rescues him. When he wakes, he discovers he has no memory. As he remembers his lost past, Ian finds that his need to protect the woman who has saved his life eclipses his duty to his king and country., He is a man torn between honor and duty to his country and the woman he loves.
Other books by Christine Young
Available at Rogue Phoenix Press
Dakota's Bride
When Emma St. John received her brother's letter imploring her to escape her stepfather's vengeful scheme and to trust Dakota Barringer with her life, she was willing to chance it. But the handsome, brooding riverboat owner Emma found in Natchez a danger of another kind. For Emma soon found herself surrendering to an unrelenting desire.
Raised by the Sioux when his parents were killed, Dakota had been betrayed once before by a white woman. He wasn't about to trust another, especially one claiming that her stepfather, a powerful U.S. senator, had framed her as a murderess. But he couldn't let Emma's intoxicating effect on him. Now Dakota would risk his very life to protect the innocent beauty who had seduced him with her tender love.
My Angel
A BEAUTY IN BUCKSKINS
When her father decided to send her to a finishing school back East, Angela Chamberlain refused to be confined to stuffy drawing rooms. Instead, the daring spitfire who could shoot like a man and ride like the wind longed for a life of adventure and romance—and she knew exactly who could give it to her. Devil Blackmoor was a hired gun with a dangerous reputation. But Angela was willing to go to the ends of the earth to capture the handsome devil's heart.
A DEVIL IN DISGUISE
He'd come to America looking for excitement, but Devil Blackmoor got more than he bargained for when he encountered a beautiful rebel who answered his kisses with a wild innocence that touched his very soul. Yet standing between them were more obstacles than either ever dreamed. For Devil had strapped on a gun for the wrong man. And that made Angela his enemy. Now he'll have to choose between his duty and the woman he loves more than life.
The Locket
The year is 1894. Seeking revenge for crimes against his family, Misha Petrovich follows a path that leads straight to Ariel Cameron's boarding house in Mist Harbor, Oregon. A family heirloom in Ariel's possession leads Misha to believe she is guilty. The locket has been handed down to the oldest girl in the Petrovich family for generations. Ariel is innocent of wrong doing, but her father is not. Misha is torn by his feelings for Ariel and his need for restitution against her father. Knowing that the relationship between them is fragile, Misha does everything in his power to protect Ariel's father. His efforts are to no avail when her father is shot. Ariel comes to realize Misha's steadfast courage and determination to protect her and her father despite what has happened to his family. Ariel's love and devotion heals Misha's heart.
The Talisman
Running from a marriage that lasted one night, Dr. Moriah McKeown discovers the land she has settled on is coveted by determined and lawless men. Yet the proud young woman who once vowed never to abandon her home has second thoughts when her adopted children are threatened. Her only recourse is to enlist the aid of a dark, dangerous gun for hire.
Haunted by the past and a betrayal he will never forgive, Ian Civanovich uses his fast gun and his reckless courage to forget the faithlessness of a woman in his past. He will trust no female--nor will he rest until the threat hovering over Moriah McKeown is put to rest.
Forever His
Struggling to come to terms with the part she played in Jacob St. John’s death, Etta Barringer resigns from Pinkerton Agency and seeks peace and solace in a Rocky Mountain Cabin.
Jacob has vowed to discover the reason Etta has betrayed him, sold him out to his enemy and left him for dead.
Isolated in their cabin, they discover their love for each other and learn to trust. But the trust is shattered when Jacob learns she is married to his sworn enemy; the man who left him in the desert to die.
Allura
Allura McClellan is horrified by her father’s decision to
take out an ad in the Times awarding her to the man strong enough and smart enough to win her hand and uncover her secrets. She’s an intelligent young woman who takes great delight in the freedom allotted to her by her father. She’s well aware that marriage would effectively curtail the adventures she’s shared with her sisters and cousins.
Hunter Gray is nothing like the other men who’ve arrived to vie for Allura’s hand in marriage and everything that goes along with it. However, he is the first to refuse to concede defeat and pursue her despite her attempts to disguise her true appearance. It’s her temperament that is of more concern to him than her looks. Hunter has worked all his life with the hope of someday owning his own land. Now that it looks like there’s a very real possibility that everything he’s ever wanted is within reach nothing is going to deter him – including Miss Allura’s disagreeable disposition.
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