Submission is Not Enough Kobo

by Lexi Blake

  A third strike brought a gasp from her mouth. “I’m sorry, Sir. I was eager.”

  “Get those knees wider apart. I’ll see how eager you are.” He tapped the cane between her spread thighs, showing her how wide he wanted them.

  He wanted to be able to see her pussy. Such a pretty pussy. She wasn’t lying. She was eager. His brother probably should be happy he’d backed off. She wasn’t one to take sex casually. When she wanted some cock, she could be aggressive about it. Like that time in Germany…

  He pulled the cane back again, letting it go. It took a lot to do it. He wanted to chase the memory. For a single second he’d seen her in a white bikini against a sea of green. She’d been with another woman, Faith, perhaps. Something about a camera and taking a picture and then he’d seen the look on her face and he’d known she was going to jump him.

  Pain hit him fast and hard. He wasn’t going to ruin this. Not this. He could fuck up tomorrow. He was going to give them one goddamn good night.

  “Look at that.” He was pleased that his voice came out even and solid. The pain was bad, but he could handle it. He would handle it for her. For Red. He brushed his hand along her backside. “It seems you are eager.”

  “You have no idea, Sir. It’s been a long time for me.”

  “It’s been a long time for me, too.”

  “Yes, but you don’t remember most of it.”

  He stopped, a little shocked. And then he couldn’t stop the burst of laughter. It was so fucked up. It was funny. He couldn’t remember most of it. He tossed the cane aside. Play was done. He wanted to be with her. He jumped on the bed, rolling with her. “Seriously? You joke about that?”

  She winced, but her arms went around his neck. “I have a dark sense of humor, Sir. You’ll have to get used to it.”

  “I think I can handle it.” He brushed back her hair, loving the intimacy of being able to hold her and touch her. It felt right. He felt centered and more real than he had in weeks. “Tell me why you thought I was rejecting you.”

  “I don’t look the same way I did before.”

  He frowned down at her. “I don’t either, baby. I’ve seen pictures of myself before that fucker carved up half my face.”

  She reached up and brushed her fingers along the nasty scar that split the left side of his face and had almost taken his eye. “This? This is nothing, Sir. You were too pretty before. I like this better. You look more manly this way. I was actually surprised I went for the male-model-looking dude. This is way more my type.”

  That made him feel good and she was avoiding the question. “How do you not look the same?”

  Her eyes glanced away. “My breasts aren’t as firm as they were and I’ve got stretch marks.”

  Because of the baby. Because of his baby. He got to his knees, looking down at her. Her legs were spread, but he didn’t move to make her more comfortable. He liked her like this. Open and vulnerable and trusting. He had the feeling this woman wouldn’t allow herself to be like this with many people. Apparently she wasn’t like this with anyone but him. There were faint, silvery lines on her gently curved belly. He traced them with his fingers. “Are you talking about these little things? They’re nothing, baby. They’re beautiful like the rest of you.”

  Her body relaxed beneath his. “I’m glad you think so, Sir. I think you’re beautiful, too. You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen and the scar is incredibly sexy. I don’t like to think about how you got it, but it’s lovely to me because it means you survived.”

  Survival. Sometimes that had been all he had. One more day. He had more now and Robert was right. He was wasting them by wallowing in what had happened. This was happening now. She was here. She was open and waiting for his touch.

  She was his prize for coming through hell alive.

  He tossed off his vest, dragging his palm over her chest. “Do you know what I want to do to you?”

  “Everything,” she replied with a breathless whisper.

  She knew him well. “Everything.”

  He dropped down, covering her body with his. Her lips were as soft as they seemed, her mouth flowering open for him. His cock was hard as hell, but he wanted so badly to take his time with her. To learn her. To explore every inch of her soft skin and find out if she tasted as good as she looked. They still had time.

  He kissed her, his tongue foraging deep. Any thought he had about the future or the past flew away. There was only this moment and this woman. They didn’t need names. They knew each other instinctively.

  Her hands touched his back as she wound herself around his body. His leathers were still between them, but he needed them for now. His cock was a greedy bastard who wanted inside her as soon as possible.

  But his mind wanted even more.

  He kissed his way down her neck, noting the sweet smattering of freckles that dotted her cheeks. He would kiss every single one of them. Perhaps next time they wouldn’t waste hours on watching scenes. He would haul her up here and spend every second he had with her naked and wrapped around him.

  Best fucking therapy in the world.

  Somehow he knew it had always been like this. It was nothing more than a thought that played through his brain as he kissed her breasts. They’d been incendiary. Oh, she’d fought it, but the minute he’d finally gotten his hands on her, they’d exploded.

  He moved down her body, his target in sight. He could smell the spicy scent of her arousal. The spanking had gotten her hot and wet.

  Or maybe it had been him. Maybe the thought of finally, finally coming home was what had made her so ready for him.

  It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered except that he loved how she smelled. Milk and honey and sex. The fucking promised land.

  “Did your last Master ask you to keep this pretty pussy so well groomed?” He had to stare for a moment. Her sex was perfect. Pouty and smooth, glistening with arousal. He could see the way her clitoris was already begging for affection. It poked out of its hood, a pearl to play with.

  “He was very exacting. He liked to be able to eat my pussy at any time. He wanted me to think about him every time I shaved or touched myself because this part of my body belonged to him.”

  “Every part of your body belongs to me.” But he was particularly interested in this part. He inhaled her, taking in her scent without a single reservation. She was right. There was no place for guilt here, and there would be no place for doubt or insecurity.

  “Yes,” she whispered back. “Every part of me belongs to you. Please kiss me. Kiss me there. It’s been so long.”

  “You like this? You like it when a man eats you up like the finest meal of his life?” He stopped. “You like it when I do it.”

  “Only you,” she replied. “You’re the only one who ever…did that to me.”

  He didn’t even begin to comprehend how her other lovers had let her down, but he wasn’t going to do it. In this he needed no reminders. He leaned over and dragged his tongue across her pussy.

  Her body bowed beneath him as she gasped.

  He pushed her thighs apart and settled himself in. “Don’t make me stop. I don’t want to stop but I will if you can’t stay still. I told you. This is my time. I won’t be rushed and I won’t allow you to take something I’m not ready to give you yet.”

  “Yes, Sir. I’m sorry. It felt so good. I’ll be still. I’ll hold on and let you have your treat, Sir.” Her hands drifted up and she reached for the slats of the headboard.

  He didn’t need to question why this made him feel good. He’d spent so much time trying to figure out why the lifestyle used to call to him, but this needed no explanation. This was the single most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, spreading herself wide, trusting him with her pleasure.

  He wasn’t about to let her down.

  He settled in, putting his mouth over her pussy and delving inside. She tasted perfect, exactly what he thought she’d be. His mind might not remember, but his body knew her. Knew how to lick her and suck her.
Knew how to make her squirm underneath him. He ran his tongue over her labia, reveling in how soft it was, how easily he could move because she was so slick and wet.

  His cock was going to ease right inside her. He was going to fit inside like he’d never left her. Like they’d never once been apart.

  He had to make it good for her because there was zero chance he was going to last once he got in there. She was so hot, he would go off like a bomb detonating the minute he touched her.

  He moved up, sucking her clit between his teeth gently. A shudder went through her. “That’s right. I’ve got you right where I want you. Tell me what you need.”

  “You. I need you so badly. Please, Sir.”

  He gave her clit a lick, nothing that would send her over the edge. “What part of me do you need, baby?”

  How could he have not thought of this? He could call her Red or baby all day and not feel a single bit of pain. He could be with her. He might have to find some work-arounds, but he didn’t have to let anything keep him away from the woman he wanted. This worked. They could have this.

  “Your cock,” she said without hesitation. “I need your cock.”

  And she would get it. “First, I want you to come for me. I need to hear you and I want to taste you on my tongue. You come all over my tongue and I’ll give you my cock.”

  He would have to leave her after that. He would walk her to her car and kiss her good-bye, and that bugged him. He should have all night with her.

  Next time, perhaps she could get an overnight babysitter.

  He forced the issue out of his mind and concentrated on what was good. Her. Her scent and taste and the sounds she made while taking her pleasure.

  He felt the moment she went over the edge. There was a fine shaking through her body and a cry as she came.

  Theo pushed himself up. No time. There was no more fucking time to wait and he didn’t have to. His hands went to the ties on his leathers, ready to free his aching cock. He could fall on her and pound away because she was so ready for him.

  Her arms were open, prepared to welcome him.

  The knocking on the door stopped Theo in his tracks.

  She shook her head. “Don’t. Whoever it is, they’ll go away. If they don’t, I can shoot them.”

  He went back to the annoying knot at the front of his leathers. Condom. He needed a condom. He should have pulled one out before, but he’d been too interested in getting her naked. It was all he’d been thinking about.

  There was another knock, louder this time, and then his brother’s voice.

  “I’m sorry, you two,” Ian said through the door.

  “Good, then go the fuck away.” He got to his feet because the condom wasn’t going to magically appear in his hand. It might also be a good idea to make sure the damn door was locked.

  “I can’t,” Ian shouted. “I need Erin. Kori and Kai had some trouble out at her house.”

  Her whole face flushed and she couldn’t get off that bed fast enough. She was on her feet and running for the bathroom, where she grabbed one of the robes hanging there. She didn’t even look back at him before throwing open the door.

  “TJ? Is TJ okay?” Erin asked, pure fear in her voice.

  Her son. Of course.

  His son. The one he didn’t feel anything for. The one who wasn’t quite his because he belonged to the Theo who no longer existed. It was precisely why seeing her only in the club had made sense.

  Her skin had paled, going from the prettiest pink to a pasty white as she looked up at Ian. The lines around her mouth tightened and she’d gone from hot lover to scared mom in a second.

  He wasn’t sure he could handle the scared mom.

  Ian held up a hand. “TJ’s fine, but I need you to get dressed. The police are out at your place. Someone tried to break in. Kai fought him off, but he got away. There was some broken glass though, and TJ caught some of it.”

  She bit back a cry at the thought of her baby being hurt.

  Ian put a hand on her shoulder. “Stop. He’s fine. He didn’t even require a single stitch, but the police can’t leave until they talk to you.”

  Ian was doing his job. He should be the one trying to comfort her. It should be his hand on her shoulder right before he maneuvered her into his arms and promised her everything was going to be okay.

  The trouble was he knew it wouldn’t. The world wasn’t a place where things could be made better with a hug or a promise.

  She was shaking her head. “Someone tried to break into my place? It doesn’t make sense. I live in a decent neighborhood. It’s a nice, solid, middle-class neighborhood and I have a killer alarm system.”

  “They managed to disable the system,” Ian said. “No idea how. I’ll get Adam on it ASAP.”

  She turned to him. “I’ll get dressed and meet you downstairs.”

  His stomach turned. How had he gone from aroused as hell to this terrible feeling in the pit of his stomach? Everything had gone so perfectly, and he had the feeling it was all about to go to hell. Still, he had to give her something. “Of course. I’ll walk you to your car.”

  “What?” Her head shook as though she couldn’t quite understand what he’d said.

  Ian moved between them. “I’m afraid I’ve got something to talk to Theo about so he can’t head home with you. The night’s perfectly fucked up and the team’s downstairs in the conference room.”

  “But our baby was hurt.” Her wide eyes turned his way, pleading plain in them.

  “Ian says he’s fine. Didn’t even need stitches.” He knew what she wanted. She wanted him to suddenly be a fucking father, but he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t pretend something he didn’t feel. It was even worse than that. He was jealous of the kid, jealous that she would drop him and run after the baby. It wasn’t fair. He knew that. The kid needed her, but the resentment was right there. It festered inside him. He needed her, too. He’d had one night with her and it was already going to hell. One night and he hadn’t found the peace he’d needed, hadn’t gotten inside her. He knew what he wanted and it looked like he wasn’t going to get it.

  He felt for the kid. Poor little guy had a shitty fucking father. He really was a selfish piece of shit.

  He’d needed to not be Theo Taggart for a night, and now he realized he might never truly be him again. She’d lied. This had all been one long play to get back the man she’d loved.

  He wasn’t that man.

  “Theo, someone broke into our house.” The words came out on a desperate gasp, as though she couldn’t quite understand that she had to say them at all. “Someone hurt our child. I need you to come with me. I need you to help me.”

  Ian’s jaw was tight as he spoke. “I’m sorry, Erin. I need him downstairs. Li is waiting for you. I’ll fill you in tomorrow on the new intel. It appears Hope McDonald has finally resurfaced.”

  Her eyes remained steady on him, piercing him in a way no knife could. “Nothing is more important than our son. I know you’re afraid of meeting him, but I need you to come with me now. I’m so tired of doing this alone. Please come with me.”

  And let her figure out how utterly incapable he was of being the man she wanted him to be? How would she take it when he didn’t want to hold the kid?

  He moved toward her, cupping her shoulders. How had he felt so close to her mere moments before? Now he was simply trying to hold on. “I need to go with Ian. I need to find out what’s happening with Hope McDonald. She’s still a huge threat to us. And the baby.”

  “He can give us a briefing later. Right now you need to take care of me and TJ.”

  He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. If she knew he couldn’t care about the kid, couldn’t be the dad she thought he would magically be, she would completely walk away. It was better for her to think he was a dick than to think he was so empty he couldn’t love his own child. He stepped back. “I’m staying here. Li will go with you. I’ll send you a text when I know something more. Maybe I can come by after the meeting and ma
ke sure you don’t need anything.”

  By then the kid would probably be asleep. Could he stay with her and be gone before the kid woke up? That might work. At least for a while.

  She stepped back, breaking the contact entirely. “Don’t bother. I’ll take care of him. Alone. Like I always have.”

  She turned and walked out the door, never looking back.

  “Well, that went well,” Ian said, a grim look on his face.

  Theo watched her walk away and wondered if she would ever look at him the same way again.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “He’s scared, you know,” Li said as he took the Walnut Hill exit, turning right toward her neighborhood.

  It was an older neighborhood with gorgeous trees. The houses had been built in the sixties and seventies, comfortable ranch houses and small bungalows. They were starter houses. Theo had bought this one on Timberview Lane without even consulting her. It had been a grand gesture. At one point, he’d been good at those.

  This is just the beginning, baby. One day I’ll get us something even nicer, but we can start here. We can be happy here.

  Now she couldn’t even get him to check and see if his son was okay.

  “He’s being a coward,” Avery said under her breath.

  Thank god she had Avery. Ian had done nothing but enable Theo.

  “Now, love, you know we’ve talked about this,” Li began.

  Avery shook her head. “I understand your position, but it’s cowardice. He has a responsibility. Even if he wasn’t acting as TJ’s dad, he signed a contract with her tonight. He’s being a shitty Dom.”

  Damn straight, but she wasn’t going to let anyone know how much she hurt. He’d gutted her. She’d been so certain after how they’d connected tonight that he would get it, would understand how much she needed him. All this time and she’d been alone. Oh, she’d had friends, but no one could love TJ the way his parents would.