Only Heaven Knows

by Sable Hunter

  She felt sick, but not because of the food. “I will give you one more kiss, if you want it.”

  Denver stilled. “I’d never turn down the opportunity to touch you, beautiful.”

  Bryn went into his arms and she kissed him with all the love in her heart.

  Oh, how she wished things were different. She wished she was normal, like everyone else.

  Sister Mary Estelle had said she was special.

  Bryn had news for Sister Mary Estelle – being special sucked.

  CHAPTER TEN

  When Denver took Bryn home, she didn’t know what to say. As soon as he cut the engine, she placed her hand on his arm. “Thanks, I had a lovely time.”

  “Me too.” Denver soothed his hand over the steering wheel. He would’ve rather touched her, but a man doesn’t always get what he wants. He stared at the lights on the dashboard of his truck, noticing he only had a quarter tank of gas. “I apologize if I made you uncomfortable or hurt your feelings in some way.”

  “You didn’t.”

  Her tone didn’t ring true, even to his wishful thinking ears. “I did. I’m not sure how, I certainly didn’t intend to…but I’m sorry.” He reached down to play with his keys hanging from the ignition. “Meeting you, getting to know you has been amazing.”

  Oh, God, he’s about to tell me he doesn’t want to see me anymore, Bryn thought. Not that she didn’t deserve it, but that’s not how she wanted this evening to end. “Stop. You’ve done more for me than anyone ever has and for an entirely different reason.”

  “Yea, right.” Lust. Loneliness.

  “My whole life, I’ve only ever been someone’s obligation.” Bryn covered his hand. “You’ve been good and kind to me for no other reason than friendship.”

  “Oh, baby…” Denver brought her hand to his lips. “Friendship is not my sole motivation.”

  Bryn giggled softly. “I know and I…like that you feel that way. I do too.” He didn’t say anything back and she knew the ball was in her court. “I’ve asked for time and that’s getting old. So, I won’t play that card again.”

  Denver chuckled. “Look at you, using all those metaphors.”

  Bryn laughed. “I’ve been reading something other than The Joy of Sex.” She sobered, licking her lips and searching for the right words to say. “There’s something I haven’t told you.”

  “What?”

  Bryn covered her face with both hands. “I can’t tell you yet. I don’t even know how to start.”

  “How bad could it be?” Denver pressed her. “You’re a virtual innocent. Untouched. Unsullied. Like a hothouse rose that’s never known the harsh light of day.”

  Bryn groaned. “Oh, if you only knew. When…if I ever tell you…nothing will ever be the same again.”

  “You’re not the only with secrets, Bryn.”

  She waited for him to say more, but he didn’t. “So, I guess we’ll just leave things where they are. For now.” Clasping her arms tightly over her stomach, she wished things were different. She wished she was different. “Well, I guess I’ll be seeing you.”

  “Yea. Are you coming to the wedding?”

  Bryn nodded. It took her a moment to remember, her head was so full of her own problems. “Yes, Tricia and Lance’s wedding. I’m in charge of the flowers. I’ll be at the rehearsal dinner tomorrow night.”

  “Good. I’m a groomsman. Guess I’ll see you there.”

  Bryn lingered another moment, her hand brushing the door handle. When he made no further move, she opened the door. “Yea, see you there. Goodnight.”

  Denver sat still, watching her walk away from him. This was right. He didn’t deserve anything more. She was too good for him. The best thing they could do would be to keep their secrets secret. For his part, some things were better left unsaid.

  * * *

  “Lilies. Check. Orchids. Check. Garland. Check. Centerpieces. Almost check.”

  “How can you have an almost check?” Kristen looked over Bryn’s shoulder at their wedding checklist.

  “I’m waiting until the last minute to add the goldfish to the bowls.” She showed Kristen how the centerpieces were to be set up. “The bottom bowl holds the fish. The second bowl, which fits this way,” she arranged the stacked display, “holds the flowers. I won’t assemble them until we get there.” She glanced at the bait bucket. “I worry about the fish.” If any of them expired, she’d sworn to herself not to intervene…and that would be hard for Bryn.

  Kristen checked her watch. “Well, I’m ready to go when you are. Tricia said we should take our clothes with us and dress for the party there. That way, we won’t have to make two trips.”

  “This is a western BBQ, I wasn’t planning on getting dressed up,” Bryn murmured with a worried look.

  Kristen playfully tugged a lock of Bryn’s hair. “I love your attitude. I wish I was more like you and didn’t worry about how I looked.”

  Bryn glanced at her coworker to gauge her meaning. She still had a problem with sarcasm. She saw nothing on Kristen’s face other than sincerity. “I haven’t developed a fashion sense, I guess.”

  “Well, tomorrow will be different. We’ll wear our pretty gowns.”

  “I’m just a hostess, not a bridesmaid.” Thank goodness. “I do have a new dress for the occasion.”

  “Nathan and I are going out after, making an evening of it. Are you and Denver hooking up?”

  Hooking up. Every time she heard that term, all Bryn could think of was the pesky little black bugs that flew around all joined up. What were they called? Love bugs? Those pesky little black flies showed up in massive swarms twice a year, fly around joined by their sex organs for a couple of days, then laid their eggs and died. All in all, their lifespan was no more than five days. Hooked up. Talk about having a purpose. “I don’t know if we’re hooking up or not. We sort of left things hanging up in the air.”

  “Oh, sorry.” Kristen brightened. “I’m sure you’ll work it out. Weddings are wonderful.” She clutched one of the bridesmaid’s bouquets to her chest and sighed. “So romantic.”

  Bryn nodded. “Yes, I’m sure it will be wonderful.”

  …As rehearsals go, this was probably one for the record books. More party than rehearsal, Pastor Sinclair didn’t do much more than put some ‘x’s mark the spot’ places for everyone to stand. Tricia and Lance were writing their own vows and Desiree Holt would be providing the music. After a quick run through of the ceremony, the festivities began. Bryn noticed Denver hadn’t shown up. Lance had asked Nathan to stand in for him, saying something about a run Denver was making to a cattle sale. “He’ll be late, but he’ll be here. We’ll catch him up later.”

  When the couple was satisfied they knew what to expect, Lance called for the festivities to commence. Bryn was enthralled with everything. With the tiny white lights in the trees, the live music of the band, and the high spirits of the attendees, the atmosphere was very much like the carnival.

  “Can I get you something to drink, Bryn?” Nathan asked as he held Kristen’s hand.

  “Oh, no, I…don’t drink.” She ran a nervous hand through her hair. “I’m just going to make sure the tables are all set up correctly for the reception.

  “No.” Kristen grabbed her by the hand. “You’re not. There’s plenty of time for those last-minute details later. The whole place looks fantastic. You did a wonderful job. So…it’s time to celebrate!”

  “Okay.” She let herself be pulled along to the bar. “I guess I’ll have a soda.”

  “No.” Kristen was insistent. “Tonight, you splurge.”

  “Oh, I don’t know,” Bryn protested. “I’m not sure if I should.”

  “Wine cooler or hard lemonade?” Kristen asked as she dug through the huge tubs full of ice and drink.

  “Um, wine cooler sounds good with BBQ,” Bryn surmised. “I hope it’s not too strong.”

  “We’re at a private party and you’re not driving, I think it will be okay.” Nathan held up his root beer. “I
’m underage, this is all I’m allowed.” He held the brown bottle up to the light. “At least it looks real.”

  Kristen handed Bryn the icy cold bottle and she twisted off the cap and tentatively took a sip. “Whew!” She made a face. “That’s…”

  “Good?” Kristen laughed.

  “Yea. I was gonna say strong.” She licked her lips. “Fruity.” Nodding her head, she smiled. “Good.”

  “Great!” They meandered through the crowd. Bryn didn’t know many people, but she nodded and spoke to everyone who spoke to her. Her eyes were searching for one person only, but so far, he hadn’t appeared.

  “Do you mind if I ask Kristen to dance?” Nathan asked her.

  Bryn felt embarrassed. “Oh, goodness no. Please. You two have fun, don’t mind me.” She gave them a big smile and pointed behind her. “I’m going to go sit with the ladies.” She’d noticed a group of the married women near the food tables, all of them surrounded by toddlers. The McCoys had been prolific in the last couple of years. As the pair danced off, Bryn chewed on her lower lip. She’d certainly never meant to be a third wheel. For a few seconds, she watched them with envy. They were having the time of their lives. She knew they’d gone to homecoming together and Nathan was preparing for graduation. Bryn felt a bit sad, thinking of all the things she’d missed.

  “Hey, come join us.”

  A soft touch on her shoulder caused Bryn to whirl around. “Oh, hello, Cady. How are you?”

  “I’m good.” Cady looked at her with concern. “How are you?”

  “Just fine. The wedding is going to be beautiful. I’m very happy for Lance and Tricia.”

  “Yes, so am I.” She placed a protective hand on Bryn’s back. “Have you eaten yet?”

  “No.” She raised the bottle. “I probably should. This seems to be going straight to my head. I don’t think I’m much of a drinker.”

  “Help yourself. Make sure you try some of Joseph’s brisket, it melts in your mouth.” She gestured to the tables laden with food. “I’ll save you a spot at my table.”

  “Thanks.” Bryn was a little intimidated by Cady. She was such a beautiful, regal woman. The memory of their meeting when Lance was in the well was never far from Bryn’s mind.

  “Hey, do you want to dance, ma’am?”

  Bryn whirled around to find one of the Tebow ranch hands. She didn’t know his name. “No thanks, I don’t dance. I appreciate you asking, though.”

  “Oh, all right.” He tipped his hat and went off to find another partner.

  Bryn surveyed the food, picking and choosing a bit of this and a bit of that. She wasn’t very hungry; her tummy was nervous. She kept glancing toward the parking lot, wondering about Denver. What if something was wrong? As she made her way across the pavilion to where the women were sitting, a troubling thought occurred to her. What if he was avoiding her?

  “Here we are!” Cady called to her and Bryn joined them, speaking to all the McCoy wives and their friends. “Skye. Jessie. Avery. Libby. Presley. How are you? Good to see you all.”

  “Everybody be good to Bryn!” Avery announced loudly. “She saved us at the florist shop and we need to keep her happy!”

  Bryn smiled at her other boss. “Oh, you two are the ones who saved me. I couldn’t get a job, no one would give me a chance.”

  Cady gave them a serene smile. “Things tend to work out like they’re supposed to. You belonged at the florist and you were destined to be here tonight.”

  “Who-oo-oo.” Skye made a spooky noise. “Cady has spoken.”

  “You’re one to talk.” Jessie elbowed Skye. “Miss Shaman. I caught her smudging the attic yesterday.”

  “There’s a ghost up there!” Skye announced without batting an eye.

  “Who is it?” Presley’s eyes were wide. “Do you know?”

  Skye waved her fork. “I think her name is Claire and she was married to John Austin McCoy, Jolie and Austin’s oldest son.”

  “Wow, that’s specific.” Bryn was fascinated. “How do you know?”

  Skye smiled. “She told me.”

  “So, why are you smudging? Do you want her to go away?” Presley asked, then shivered. “I saw that in a movie once. Zane won’t let me watch scary movies unless he’s around.”

  “Ha! He knows how to get you into his arms,” Jessie said with a giggle.

  “Oh, I don’t need an excuse,” Presley said with a confident smile.

  “Get back to the ghost.” Avery waved her hand. “Why are you banishing Claire?”

  “Oh, I’m not,” Skye insisted. “Something followed her, something evil.”

  The tables grew quiet for a second. “Maybe we need to have a séance,” Libby suggested.

  Jessie started laughing. “Can you picture Aron and Jacob’s faces if we told them we were having a séance?”

  “I don’t think they’d be very happy,” Libby announced. “Aron doesn’t like things that go bump in the night.”

  “Unless it’s him, huh?” Avery started laughing. “I have such a dirty mind. There’s was this romance event on Facebook about erotic novels and it was called ‘things that go hump in the night’. That’s more Isaac’s speed.”

  “Erotic novels?” Bryn repeated in surprise as she took a bite of food.

  “Yes, Avery writes those, you know.” Presley grinned.

  “No, I didn’t.” Her eyes were wide.

  “Her pen name is Sable Hunter.” Presley licked frosting from her fingers. “She’s my favorite author.”

  “Avery!” Bryn was astonished. “You look so…so normal.”

  “Ha!” Jessie laughed so hard she choked. “Normal? She really has you fooled, Bryn.” Jessie waved her hand and popped an imaginary whip.

  “Jessie, please. You’ll scare Bryn.” Avery admonished. “She’s…new.”

  Cady placed a hand on Bryn’s arm and gave her a slight wink. “Just goes to show you can’t always tell a person’s true nature just by looking.”

  Bryn kept eye contact with Cady for a long moment, trying to determine what the other woman was really saying to her. “No, I guess not.”

  “I’m going for another drink. Can I get anyone else anything?” Libby asked.

  Several people responded, but Bryn didn’t ask for anything. She finished her food and wondered what Jessie meant about Avery and popping a whip. Was she a lion tamer in a circus?

  When Libby returned, she sat another wine cooler in front of Bryn.

  “Oh, my goodness, Libby. You’re going to get me into trouble.” Bryn eyed the bottle Libby had set in front of her as if it might be a snake.

  Libby just smiled while the music played around them. “Oh, Bryn, live a little and make sure you try one of my brownies before you leave. They’re like eating pure sin.”

  “Pure sin, that’s what I need, for sure.” She sighed, a bit overwhelmed. Not sure about her own actions, she picked up the wine cooler with a tentative hand. Before tonight, she’d never touched a drop of alcohol in her life. “Here’s to living!”

  Libby raised her bottle and clinked it against Bryn’s. “Tonight, we celebrate with friends and family!”

  “Sounds nice. Friends and family. I could use more of both.” She gave Libby a grateful smile, then took a big sip of her drink.

  …Denver pulled up in a rush, sliding to a stop on the gravel driveway. “Damn. Tricia is gonna skin me for being late.” He knew Lance would understand, he’d sent Denver on the road trip to begin with. What was really bothering him was that Bryn had arrived ahead of him and he couldn’t wait to see her. Coming into the backyard he saw the pavilion was brightly lit and the dance floor was filled with happy people. The McCoys were a huge clan and the women especially loved to throw parties. The cleanups were events in themselves and Denver usually found himself roped into cleanup duty the morning after by a very insistent Libby or Jessie McCoy.

  “This is your punishment for not drinking,” Jessie would always tease him. “If you had a hangover like the rest of those stum
ble-bums, you’d be sleeping it off too.”

  Denver chuckled at the memory of one particularly bad cleanup. After an all-night rager, the backyard had been littered with paper cups and plates. After an hour of trying to sweep the mess up, Jacob McCoy had stumbled out the back door with a cup of coffee in one hand and bleary eyes to check on his progress. “Oh, hell, Bolden. If it was me, I’d just take a blower to this catastrophe. Make a big pile and put a match to it.”

  A watchful Libby told Jacob to scram and then laughed as she agreed it wasn’t a bad idea. Denver fetched a gas blower from the workshop and did as Jacob suggested, lighting up the morning sky with a fire that wiped away the disaster.

  Aron was less than impressed with the giant patch of scorched grass left in the fire’s wake, but Libby had hushed her husband and even helped Denver fix the damage the following day, spreading soil and seed in the area to bring her husband’s precious lawn back up to par.

  When Aron found his wife getting dirty, he gave her a wink. “I’d say you’ve got to be just about the sexiest farm girl I’ve ever seen. What say we retire to the barn and see if we can’t get some hay on those overalls of yours?” Libby giggled most of the way to the barn and their lovemaking was loud enough that the men had teased their boss about it for weeks.

  “Bolden!” Hearing his name called jerked Denver from his reverie. He turned to find Kane Saucier approaching across the yard.

  “Kane, how are you?”

  “Tolerable. This week has been tough. The DEA’s in town doing a prescription drug buy-back program and I have the State of City luncheon this week.”

  “You’re a busy man.” Denver listened politely, but his eyes scanned the crowd until he located Bryn. She was wearing a silvery blue dress that made her skin look like velvet and a smile so sweet he found it hard to stand still and be polite to the sheriff of Kerr County.

  He’d been covertly observing Bryn for a minute or two when he saw her take a sip from a bottle. Denver couldn’t tell what it was, maybe a wine cooler, but the idea of her drinking didn’t sit well with him at all. While doing his best to listen to Kane explain the reason why the county needed to vote on a new school bond, Denver kept a close watch on Bryn. He was uncomfortably aware of each time she lifted the bottle to her lips.